


The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn

by FeralScribe



Series: Moulin Rouge AU [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Moulin Rouge! Fusion, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blood Loss, Brace yourselves, Cabaret Performer/Trapeze Artist/Courtesan Molly, Caleb's First Roller Coaster, Fluff and Angst, Forked tongue tiefling, Harvest's Close Festival, Impoverished Poet/Playwright Caleb, Kissing, M/M, Molly is sick, Moulin Rouge AU, Nightmares, Nosebleed, PTSD flashbacks, PTSD nightmares, Painful nostalgia, Pining, Plenty of fluff in the beginning, Secret Relationship, Sharing a Bed, The Gentleman technically owns Molly, The Mighty Nein as theatrical troupe, Tieflings can purr - headcanon, Upside down kisses, Whump, Whump like you've never seen before, asylum flashbacks, but if you know how the movie ends then you know how this ends, but with some embellishments and a more in-depth look at their relationship, discussing Caleb's trauma, do not copy to another site, except without much comfort in it, fake birthday party, follows the general plot of the movie, good gods the PINING, memories of abuse, memories of attempted gay conversion therapy, needles mention, past suicide attempt mention, set in Zadash with the same time setting as Moulin Rouge, some Molly/The Gentleman seduction, tags and warnings will update with future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:27:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 141,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21974326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralScribe/pseuds/FeralScribe
Summary: Caleb Widogast came to Zadash to pursue his dream of becoming a poet. He didn't expect to find himself thrown into the world of the Cabaret of Curiosities as the writer for a new play, or that he would get there through a case of mistaken identity and an evening of seduction with the Cabaret's star, the Diamond Devil, Mollymauk Tealeaf. But the real target for Molly's seduction, the Gentleman, wants Molly to himself in exchange for funding the Cabaret's new ventures. Molly knew this was a possibility, but there's a problem: he and Caleb have fallen in love. Add in the shenanigans of the Mighty Nein acting troupe and Molly's occasional unexplained fainting spells, and neither Molly nor Caleb is sure they'll be able to keep everything together before opening night.
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Series: Moulin Rouge AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556368
Comments: 138
Kudos: 230





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb arrives in Zadash and almost immediately gets dragged into a rehearsal with his upstairs neighbors, a theatrical group looking to present their latest work to Gustav Fletching at his Cabaret of Curiosities. He was hoping to find an opportunity to showcase his work, but not like this...

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Above all else, this was what Caleb Widogast knew in his heart to be the truth. Even though love in all its forms had been unkind to him for many years, that only affirmed to him that love was a noble aspiration, and that everyone deserved to experience its splendors. He came to Zadash with little more than the money in his pockets and the fire in his soul. However, nestled beside the wisdom in his heart was the knowledge that here, in this new start, this new life, he was going to find everything he had been searching for.

Caleb rented a little room in the Leaky Tap, a tavern in the city’s eastern Outerstead. This area of town had a less than favorable reputation, but that suited Caleb fine. He had had his fill of the upper class. It was time to see things from a completely different perspective. After all, if he was going to become the greatest poet in all of Western Wynandir, if not all of Wildemount or even all of Exandria, he couldn’t write it from some lofty balcony without a care in the world. He had to thrust himself elbow deep into the grit and grime, and there didn’t seem to be a better place to do that than the Leaky Tap. All he needed was the right inspiration.

He didn’t have to wait long. Caleb had barely sat down at his new typewriter, face to face with a fresh sheet of paper, when an unconscious half-orc fell through his roof. Shortly thereafter a halfling dressed as some sort of priestess burst into Caleb’s apartment through the front door.

“Hello!” the halfling exclaimed. “My name is Veth Brenatto, also known to some as Nott the Brave.” She gestured to the heap of half-orc on Caleb’s floor. “You’ll have to excuse him, he gets like this sometimes. Some sort of illness he developed at sea. He’ll be perfectly fine one moment, next thing you know he’s out cold and drooling on everything. Terrific actor though.” Her eyes went wide. “Oh! Yes, forgot to mention, we were rehearsing a play, um, upstairs. That’s why the uh—” she gestured to herself, “—the weird outfit. We’re calling it ‘Spectacular Spectacular!’ It’s a work in progress though. …I’m sorry, I just realized I didn’t catch your name?”

Caleb had both hands gripped tight to the back of his chair to keep him from falling out of it. He wasn’t even settled in and suddenly there was all this excitement. His heart was beating erratically as he tried to make sense of it all. What he managed to glean so far was that this halfling’s name was Veth — or possibly also Nott — and she and the half-orc were actors of some kind and also she had asked for his name. “Oh erm… I'm B— Caleb. Widogast. My name is Caleb Widogast.”

The halfling smiled. “Well it is a _pleasure_ to meet you, Caleb.”

“Is he alright?” called a voice from above them.

Caleb reflexively tilted his head to search for its source and immediately regretted it. This day was already strange enough, but now looking down at him from the hole in his ceiling was an even stranger trio. The first one to catch Caleb’s eye was a firbolg with bright pink hair. Next to him was a surly-looking dwarf with a lit cigarette hanging out of her mouth. On the dwarf’s other side was a dark-skinned human woman with her hair neatly shaven at the sides but long on the top and tied up into a bun or very short ponytail, Caleb couldn’t tell which from this distance.

The voice had come from the firbolg. It was a nice deep voice, the kind Caleb could feel in his own chest just by hearing it. “Oh,” the firbolg said, “I didn’t realize someone had moved into that room. Huh. Nott, is Fjord alright?”

“Hang on,” Nott said. “I’ll check.” She walked over to the half-orc. Rather than feel for a pulse or examine him for injuries, she kicked him in the stomach. “Wake up, Fjord! You passed out again!”

The half-orc didn’t move, though his chest rose and fell and there was a small amount of drool trickling from his mouth.

Nott groaned and shook her head. “He’s out!” she exclaimed to the trio in Caleb’s ceiling.

The dwarf growled. “Well that’s fucking fantastic!” she said. “Now that Fjord’s passed out again we’re not gonna be able to finish this scene by tomorrow! Damn it, guys! We’re never gonna get this funded.”

“Calm down, Keg,” said the human. “Not like you were coming up with great material anyway.”

“I’m doing what I can on such short notice!” the dwarf snapped.

Nott waved to get their attention. “Guys, we can just have someone else read the part!”

The dwarf snorted. “Yeah? And who are we gonna get to do it? This scrawny red-headed nobody?”

Caleb was still struggling to catch up with everything that had happened in the past thirty seconds. It occurred to him that the dwarf was talking about him. “Er, sorry, what?” he said.

He wasn’t sure how it happened, but the next thing he knew he was in the apartment above his own, perched on a piece of improvised scenery and dressed in what they could get off the half-orc before setting his unconscious body on a nearby bed. Nott was pacing on the floor below him, reading her lines aloud from a piece of paper.

“By the sweet breath of Melora!” she exclaimed dramatically. “I fear we will never escape these scary tunnels! My dear friend and companion, Albert, if the worshipers of the Crawling King do not imprison us, then at any moment the ground that is the roof could collapse and ingest us here for all eternity!” Breaking character, Nott squinted at her script. “‘Ingest’? I think you need a stomach to ingest.”

Keg scowled. “I thought it sounded cooler than ‘we’re gonna get trapped and die’ or whatever.”

Nott tilted her head. “I mean, I _guess?_ But isn’t there a better way to say it than ‘the ground that is the roof could collapse and ingest us’?”

“How about,” Beau said, “‘this place will bury us alive’?”

Caduceus spoke up, “Or ‘the land itself is going to swallow us whole’?”

From over on the bed, Fjord the half-orc suddenly sat up, eyes wide. “ _CONSUME_ ,” he stated ominously. Not a moment later, he collapsed backwards, head drooping into the position it had before so as to continue expanding the puddle of drool that was gathering on the sheets.

Everyone regarded this for a heartbeat, then resumed their bickering. Caleb had already read this page of script ten times and established that it was poorly written. He thought back to the many poems he had read over the years. Almost none of them concerned the Underdark except in passing comparisons. While they were getting him dressed Nott had mentioned that they chose to set their play in the Underdark because they could “paint everything black and grey and save money by not needing so many lights.” Also apparently Caduceus, the pink-haired firbolg, had been cultivating some sort of bioluminescent algae or moss to dress the set with. There had to be a way to make the Underdark poetic. Caleb tuned out the noise around him and tapped into the countless hours he had spent studying and reading and writing.

“Dearest Albert,” he said urgently. The others fell silent and turned to listen. Caleb had rarely had an audience before, let alone one that watched him with such interest. Furthermore he was supposed to be playing Albert in this scene, but inspiration had struck him for Nott’s line. “What I would give to feel the gentle touch of a breeze in this desolate place, some blessing of Melora to guide our path. My fear grows stronger and my faith weaker with every step we take, dreading the Crawling King’s wrath. The ground itself threatens to entomb us, a patient enemy we must face, with no intent to let us pass.” He paused to think of another line, but Caduceus, Nott, and the human woman, Beau, all began to applaud.

“Holy shit,” Beau said. “Did you just come up with that?”

“It was wonderful!” Nott said.

“Yeah,” Caduceus said in his rumbling voice. “I really liked it.”

Keg drew a long sullen pull of her cigarette. “It was a lot of words,” she said. “How is Fjord supposed to memorize all of that by tomorrow?”

Beau rolled her eyes. “Fjord’s not an idiot, Keg. He could totally pull that off. But uh… if he doesn’t wake up soon he might not have enough time to practice”

Nott picked up a fake rock and chucked it at Fjord. It bounced off his shin with no effect. “Well, he was up for a second there,” she said. “Hopefully that means he’ll snap out of it soon.”

“What if we had this new guy do it instead?” Caduceus asked.

Caleb felt his face flush hot. “Oh, erm, I am… I am not an actor. I am merely a writer. There’s a rather lovely poem by—”

“Hold up,” Beau interrupted. “You’re a writer? Like, a professional one?”

“I— I would like to be.”

“Fantastic! Hey Keg, you and the new guy should team up.”

Keg crossed her arms and furrowed her brow. “If you like his ideas so much why don’t you just have _him_ write the damn play _by himself?_ ”

Beau groaned. “Keg, come on, it was just a suggestion.”

“Well then I _suggest_ that you leave this to a _professional_ writer.” Keg curled her lip at Caleb. “How much do you charge, pretty boy? I guarantee you that whatever it is, these fucks can’t afford it.”

Caleb wasn’t expecting the sudden hostility, especially not with the backhanded compliment thrown in. He stammered an apology, tried to explain that he was a poet and not a playwright, but Beau cut him off again.

“Keg, you’re being an asshole for no fucking reason.”

“ _I’m_ being an asshole? This guy comes up with _one_ chunk of dialogue and now you want him working on this too? After all the work _I_ put into it?”

Beau pointed to the door. “Go take a walk or something. You need to calm the fuck down.”

Keg stomped over to a heap of clothes on the floor. She picked out a few items with sharp angry movements. “I am gonna take a walk. I’m walking my ass to the King’s Hall to find a real job. It was nice working with you guys right up until it wasn’t. Have fun with your new writer.”

The others protested, but Keg had made up her mind. She packed her things and stormed out of the room, poking her head back in just long enough to say “Good _bye!_ ” before slamming the door behind her.

Everyone stood in stunned silence. Nott broke it with, “It was a long time coming. But hey! We’ve got a new writer already anyway! That calls for a drink!”

Caleb wished he had a watch. This whole ordeal felt like it had taken all day, but his usually impeccable sense of time told him it had been barely half an hour since he first set up his typewriter downstairs. It was impossible. There was no way he could have actually obtained a job writing a play without even asking for it on the very first day he spent in Zadash. It wasn’t poetry exactly, but what was a play if not poetry performed in a narrative?

Nott pressed a glass of wine into his hands. “Congratulations!” she said, beaming up at him. She lifted her own glass. “Here’s to your first job in Zadash!” She gulped down the wine and poured herself another.

“Erm, V— N— Nott?”

“Mhm?”

“I um, I appreciate everything, but… I have never written a play before.”

Nott knocked back her second glass of wine. “Did you just come up with that bit you did earlier?”

Caleb fiddled with his glass. “ _Ja_. I mean, I thought about it while you all were talking, but—”

“But nothing! That was impressive! If you could write that on the spot, you could _definitely_ write a whole play! It doesn’t even have to be that long, we just need something people will want to come see.”

“I suppose, but—”

The bedframe squeaked a muffled screech of old springs and worn metal as Fjord jolted upright. “Huh? What? What happened? What did I miss?” He looked down at himself and frowned. “Where are all my clothes?” His voice was not what Caleb expected. The half-orcs Caleb had known before didn’t speak as gruffly as their full-blooded cousins, but Fjord spoke so smoothly it was almost jarring. He also had startlingly golden eyes, which was another trait Caleb had never seen in a half-orc before. Those eyes were now trained on Caleb. “Who is this?”

Nott handed Fjord a glass of wine, which he took without asking. “This is our new writer, Caleb!” She grinned. “He’s very good! _Way_ better than Keg.”

Fjord chuckled. “Frankly that isn’t saying much. Why is he wearing my costume though?”

“You passed out again,” Beau said. “And you fell off the set and through the floor into his room. We didn’t know how long you’d be out and we needed to get the scene done so we kinda kidnapped him and had him do it.”

“He’s not as good of an actor as you are, though,” Caduceus added. “He came up with some very nice stuff but he’s clearly got a bad case of stage fright.”

Fjord sipped his wine as he listened. He nodded. “Well, alright then.” He wiped some drool off his jaw with the back of his hand, drank a little more wine, then stood and walked over to Caleb. He held out his hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Caleb. Terribly sorry about your ceiling. I’m Fjord. Perhaps you’ve seen me in some of my other work? I had a good run as Captain Tusktooth in _The Sinking of the Squall Eater_.”

Caleb accepted the handshake. “Erm, I just moved into Zadash today, actually, from Rexxentrum.”

“Ah,” Fjord said. “I’ve never been to the capital myself.” He clapped Caleb on the shoulder. “Welcome to Zadash.”

As bizarre as this afternoon had been, Caleb did feel welcomed. With most of the excitement over he had time to sit down with his new neighbors and get to know them. They were trying to form a theatre troupe, having all done a little work independently themselves before meeting up, except they wanted to produce new plays and couldn’t find a good writer who wanted to work with them. Nott tipsily whispered to Caleb that the whole reason Keg had been their writer for this project was because she and Beau had fooled around together and Beau wanted to offer Keg some work. Caleb knew several people who had gotten their job simply because they were sleeping with someone who wanted them to have it.

“We’re probably gonna have to change our name,” Nott said. “With Keg gone, we’re not really the Mighty Fivne anymore.”

“The what?” Caleb asked.

Beau rolled her eyes. “You know I never liked that name in the first place.” To Caleb, she explained, “Since there were five of us and we wanted to do a play-on-words we’ve been calling ourselves the Mighty Fivne, y’know, as in ‘we do a mighty fine job,’ except you throw the V in there so it’s also the number five? Yeah, it’s not great.”

“We can come up with something better,” Nott said.

“If Caleb sticks around we’ll still have five people,” Fjord pointed out. “And maybe _he_ can come up with something. He seems more than capable.”

"Where did you learn to write like that anyway?" Nott asked.

Caleb didn’t answer many questions about himself, or rather when he did he gave short answers that weren’t always entirely true. After all, he had only met these people today and he didn’t feel like sharing his entire history with them. They were all more than happy to talk about themselves, however. Caduceus came from a large family up north, but had felt inspired to travel and bring the beauty of nature to urban areas. Nott grew up in Felderwin where her husband and son still lived, and she sent them whatever money she earned that she didn’t need herself. Fjord was from Port Damali on the coast, and his career as a sailor ended with the accident that gave him his current affliction, but he had managed to find work as an actor due to his charismatic demeanor and skill for imitating voices. Beau was the business manager for the group, having done the books at her father’s winery for several years before finding herself in trouble for a few misdemeanors and striking out on her own to Zadash. They were a fascinating collection of people. Caleb heard poetry in all their tales, and his own writing skills felt somewhat inadequate because he didn’t think he could ever write characters as intriguing as this. They all assured him he would be fine, except they _did_ need him to come up with something before they attempted to meet up with one Gustav Fletching, owner and operator of a nearby cabaret.

“ _Tomorrow?_ ” Caleb asked incredulously.

“We’ve got the pitch, we just need a few good scenes to present to him,” Nott said. “If we can convince him to produce our show, we can come up with the rest later. If he says no, then you’ll have more time to write it anyway.”

Caleb scratched at his forearm. “I don’t know if I can…”

Beau blew a raspberry. “Of course you can,” she said. “You’re _fiiiiine_. And we can help you. We had to help Keg a _lot_ , but you seem like you’re actually fucking capable of coming up with stuff that sounds good. And you literally live downstairs from us. Fuck, we can talk through the big ass hole in the floor. It’s _fiiiiiine_.” She snickered. “Heh, big _ass hole_.”

Caduceus took the glass of wine from Beau’s hand. He had been drinking tea this entire time and was a good deal more sober than all the rest. “I think you’ve had enough for tonight, Beau.”

“Nooooo,” Beau whined, groping for her glass. “At least let me finish that one…”

“Nope.” Caduceus poured the wine from Beau’s glass into Nott’s. Nott hummed in delight and chugged it. “I think we’re all done drinking for the night. After all, we’ve got plenty of work to do before tomorrow evening.”

Fjord finished his own drink and said to Caleb, “We would really appreciate it, but I understand your hesitancy. To be fair, we’ve tried getting Gustav to meet with us for weeks, but he keeps ignoring us or turning us down. We were hoping that if we had more to show him than a few ideas on paper he would finally listen.”

Caleb giggled. The wine had definitely gone to his head. He kept his secrets tucked deep inside where the intoxication could not drag them up, but that left his mind open for sillier ideas. “He keeps telling you _nein, ja?_ Then perhaps you should be the Mighty _Nein_.” He laughed at his own joke. When no one else laughed he said, “It’s… It’s because ‘ _nein_ ’ means ‘no’ in Zemnian. Do any of you know Zemnian?”

Beau thumped her palm on the table. “That’s actually a cool name,” she said. “Because it’s like _we’re_ the ones telling people no, like, ‘No, Gustav, _you_ take some time to think about it!’ or ‘Are we gonna give up? _No!_ ’ I _like it!_ ”

The others expressed their own appreciation of the suggestion. Nott added, “And it means we can get four more people!”

“Then it looks like we’re the Mighty Nein now,” Fjord said. “See, Caleb? You’re already doing a great job.”

Caleb’s head drifted in gentle circles. He wondered if this was a dream that he was about to wake up from. That wouldn’t be so bad. When he awoke he could go upstairs and see who really lived in this room, perhaps befriend them. It would benefit him if he was indeed going to live here for a while. Or, if he wasn’t ready to wake up yet, he could will himself into the future to when the play was written and performed and he had people lined up to congratulate him on his work. Ikithon wouldn’t be there, of course, or…or anyone else that he…

Then Caleb did wake up. However, when he did, he was in the same room, on the very same bed that the others had lain Fjord while he was unconscious. Gravity had caught up with his head, which felt as though it were filled with cantankerous badgers. A faint noise gradually clarified until he recognized it as people talking.

“—think that _he’s_ going to talk to you if Gustav won’t?”

“He won’t be talking to _me_ , he’ll be talking to _Caleb!_ ”

“Okay, then why would Molly want to talk to _Caleb?_ ”

“You know Molly, he’s always interested in new talent. Besides, Caleb is cute. Maybe he’s Molly’s type.”

“Molly’s type is ‘rich asshole who is willing to pay a sack of gold for one night with a tiefling’.”

“And if we dress Caleb up to _look_ like he’s a rich asshole, then Molly will _definitely_ want to talk to him!”

“Nott, Molly won’t be happy if he finds out you lied to him, which he _will_.”

“Fjord’s right. Like I said, Molly is only interested in guys who want to fuck him, and even then only if they can afford him. If he finds out Caleb is just a guy we literally met in the cheapest room in the Leaky Tap—”

“He doesn’t have to know! He just has to listen to Caleb long enough to find out we finally have a decent writer, then tell Gustav about our play, and _then_ we can tell him that Caleb is as much of a bum as the rest of us.”

“Yeah, and then Gustav is going to be pissed off too and cancel the show.”

“If I may?”

“What is it, Ducey?”

“Suppose we tell Molly that Caleb is a writer from Rexxentrum. That’s not a lie. And we can dress him up all fancy, then if Molly assumes he’s rich but _we_ don’t say anything, he can’t blame us for lying.”

“…Caduceus, sometimes you’re so smart it’s a little scary.”

“Aw, shucks. Thanks Beau.”

Caleb sat up, clutching at his roiling stomach. He shouldn’t have drunk as much as he had. His shirt was soaked in sweat and his throat was dry. With some difficulty he pushed himself out of bed. He stumbled towards the table where everyone else was still seated. They all stopped to look at him.

Nott smiled. “Oh good! You’re awake. How do you feel?”

“Not…great.” When Caduceus offered Caleb some water, Caleb gladly accepted it. “ _Danke_.” To Beau he said, “I have a headache.”

Beau nodded. “Yeah… you passed out face-first into the table. Probably shouldn’t have had that fourth glass…”

Caleb hadn’t even realized he drank that much. Nott had kept everyone’s glasses full, and Caleb said nothing lest he seem rude. “What um, what were you talking about? Who is this person you want me to meet?”

“Oh, Molly.” Beau took a drink from her own cup of water. “See, we’ve tried talking to Gustav about this play ever since we started writing it, right? And like we said, he keeps blowing us off because we’re essentially nobodies and he’s not gonna waste money on us when he’s already got a bunch of good performers at his cabaret. The best — or at least, the most famous — performer he’s got is Mollymauk Tealeaf. _Everyone_ loves him.”

Nott nodded. “He’s very handsome!”

Beau made a so-so gesture. “Eh, if you’re into that sort of thing. And a lot of fucking people are, apparently, because in addition to earning money through his act, he makes a decent amount of money on the side by uh… um… well he uh… ah, fuck it. Molly fucks people for money. Not like, all the time, but when he does he usually goes for the highest bidder. Won’t even look at you unless you’ve got more gold in your pocket than most people earn in a month. Couple other performers do that too, it’s not just Molly. _But,_ he’s essentially Gustav’s favorite. If we could convince Molly that we’re worth five minutes of Gustav’s time, Gustav would actually listen to him, which means he’d listen to _us_.” She pointed to Caleb. “And that’s where _you_ come in.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you!” Nott said. “You’re really talented. Molly will like you. He already knows us—”

“Especially you,” Beau said to Nott. “Since you’re always over there getting drunk and flirting with that minotaur dude.”

Nott blushed. “I don’t _flirt_ with Blude. We just have…very nice chats.”

Beau drummed her fingers on the table and gave Nott a look.

“…He’s also very handsome, okay? There are a lot of handsome people who work there!”

“Yeah, that’s kinda the point.” Beau shrugged. “Anyway, so that’s what we’re doing tomorrow. We’re gonna go to the Cabaret, Nott’s gonna try to fix up a meeting between you and Molly after the show, you’re gonna read him some of your work, and we’ll see where it goes from there.”

Caleb gulped down a small mouthful of water. “And what’s this about telling him I am a writer from Rexxentrum?”

“Well you are, aren’t you?” Caduceus said.

“Yes, but I _told_ you, I am a _poet_. I’ve never written a play before.”

“And how do you think other playwrights get started?” Fjord asked. “At some point in their lives _they_ had never written a play before either.”

Caleb couldn’t argue with that logic, especially not with the distracting throbbing sensation in his head. He drank more water. That helped. “You all have heard _one_ bit of poetry from me, though. What makes you think I am the best writer for this job?”

Beau shrugged. “There’s the fact that you’re conveniently located.”

“You came up with our cool new name,” Nott said.

“And I’ve got a good feeling about you,” Caduceus added.

Fjord pointed emphatically to Caduceus. “That right there, Caduceus’s feelings are almost _never_ wrong. If he says you can do it, then I believe in you.”

Caleb was at a loss. “A-Alright,” he said. “Then um, I suppose we should uh… we should get some things written down for me to show this Molly person.”

They worked until late in the evening. Much to Caleb’s surprise, with their help he wrote out several pages of dialogue for the play. Beau and Fjord both made little suggestions for things he should change or lines he could add, but otherwise everyone allowed him to work and praised him whenever he showed them what he had come up with. No one had supported him like this before. Once again he wondered if this was a dream, until exhaustion set in and he had to excuse himself to bed. Caduceus offered to lower him through the hole in the floor, but Caleb politely declined and took the stairs.

Back in his own room, Caleb encountered a slight problem. Even though he had turned the lights off on his way out, the room was illuminated by light coming in from the hole. Caleb stood beneath it and stared up with his hands on his hips. “I don’t suppose you could cover this with something?” he asked.

Nott appeared, a sheepish smile on her face. “Oh, right. Um, we probably should, shouldn’t we? At least so no one else falls in.”

Beau and Fjord moved the table over the hole, but since that didn’t completely obscure the view into Caleb’s room they moved it aside long enough to scoot a rug under it. Satisfied with his privacy, Caleb went about getting ready for bed. The clock on the wall had only advanced a few hours since he saw it last yet he felt as though he had been up in that room for a day at the least. He knew he needed his sleep so he could be alert for tomorrow. Sleep teased him as he lay in bed. He would be slipping into unconsciousness, then a sudden idea would come to him and jerk him awake. By the time he was so weary that he couldn’t stay awake at all, he had three whole pages of notes to share with the others in the morning.

When he met up with them for breakfast downstairs, they were impressed that he had continued working after he left.

“I couldn’t really help myself,” Caleb said. “Except, I hope this is in line with what you envisioned.”

Beau put down the sheet she had been reading. “Yeah, man! This stuff is amazing. I mean, ‘We may never again see the fields of our youth, but close your eyes and I will sing you a meadow of flowers’? And then he fucking _does?_ Like, shit, Caleb, reading that poem I could actually smell the meadow. How do you even come up with this stuff?”

Caleb shrugged with a shy smile. “Sometimes inspiration only comes to you when you’re trying to clear everything else from your mind.”

“Like meditation?” Beau asked. “I was never good at meditation.”

“I love meditating!” Caduceus said.

“That’s one way, yes,” Caleb said. “Or in this case it was while I was trying to clear my mind for sleep.” There had been other times in Caleb’s life when he wished he could shove everything out of his head, and in those moments poetry had comforted him. It hadn’t chased the despair away entirely, but it gave him an outlet and a way to channel his madness into something beautiful. There was a magic in poetry. Hopefully what he had so far could cast its spell on Mollymauk and convince him to help out his new friends.

The others had errands of their own to attend to that day, so once they finished their breakfast everyone went their separate ways. Caleb went back up to his room to finish unpacking and sweeping up the debris of his ceiling. Every so often his imagination graced him with yet another line for the play. He wrote it all by hand, since his headache from the night before hadn’t entirely dispersed and the sounds of his typewriter were too sharp and piercing for him to handle at the moment. He made sure to drink plenty of water so would be in top shape that night.

As Caleb folded his clothes away in the drawers, he pondered what the others had said about Mollymauk Tealeaf. They gave him a basic description; he was a lavender-skinned tiefling with pierced horns and tattoos and his main act was on the trapeze but he could also juggle swords and do acrobatics and sometimes he assisted other performers in their parts of the show. Caleb imagined he must be slight yet dexterous if he were indeed a sword-juggling trapeze artist. Tieflings were uncommon in Rexxentrum. It was a large and modern city, but there were still plenty who held onto old prejudices and suspicions about tieflings. Zadash was a little more diverse, from what Caleb had seen, but even so he hadn’t seen tieflings wandering around with the other folk. Perhaps cabarets were the only places around here where they were welcome. Caleb had no issue with them, personally. He knew the legends of their origins, but he had read enough history books to know that tieflings had allied themselves with the disposed and the oppressed to overthrow tyrants and other threats to society, so clearly they were not as bad as many people assumed. This Mollymauk sounded like he wasn’t exactly a paragon of morality, though. Caleb didn’t know what to expect.

Caleb ate lunch by himself, but he gathered with the others at the appointed time for a quick drink and a light meal before they got themselves ready. They all seemed in good spirits. Unbelievable as it was, they had faith in him. Caleb didn’t want to let them down. Though he was more cautious around people these days, Fjord, Beau, Caduceus, and Nott had endeared themselves to him in such a short time, and they were warm and welcoming to him as though he had endeared himself to them as well. Tonight he would hopefully earn more of their approval.

In the meager pack of belongings Caleb brought from Rexxentrum there was a single tailored suit for formal occasions. He never thought he would need to wear it after leaving that world behind, but something in him wanted to be prepared just in case. Putting it on was bizarre. Not only was the once perfectly fitted suit now loose on him in several places, but with every brush of the fabric over his skin he could hear Ikithon hissing in his ear. “ _You’ll never survive this way. You’ll come to see things my way, as you should have all along. Everything I did, I did for your benefit, regardless of how much it might have hurt you. This little game you’re playing won’t last long. It won’t be kind to you either. At least I offered you a stable future…_ ”

Caleb spoke to himself as he dressed to drown out the silent sound of Ikithon’s disapproval. “This will be fine,” he said. “In fact this will be wonderful. Not two days into living in Zadash and I already have an opportunity to showcase my writing. True, I am not a playwright, nor did I ever consider being one, but the others liked what I came up with. Certainly Mollymauk will see some sort of merit in it as well. And whoever this Gustav Fletching is, he is likely a man of good taste. If he is not, then why would I wish to work with him? But this is a first step, and it is a _good first step_. All experience in valuable experience.”

He finished tying his bowtie and fiddled with it to make it look perfect. As he did he murmured to himself, “Caleb Widogast. Herr Caleb Widogast. _Hallo_ , my name is Herr Caleb Widogast. My name is Caleb Widogast. It is a pleasure to meet you, Mister Mollymauk Tealeaf, my name is Caleb Widogast.”

“Talking to yourself?”

Caleb turned sharply, nearly tugging his bowtie hard enough to undo it. A familiar face was looking down at him through his ceiling. “Oh, _hallo_ Beauregard. Erm, I was just…um…”

Beau cut him off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t worry about it. Caddy talks to himself sometimes too. He says he’s talking to the plants, but so far I’ve never heard the plants talk back, so he’s essentially talking to himself.” Beau lowered herself down the hole onto his floor. After she landed she dusted off and adjusted her own suit. The fabric was a deep cobalt blue, nearly as fine as the one Caleb wore, except for the places around the hems where threads had come loose and spots that bore faint stains from what could have been wine or blood but were now so old or so frequently washed that the dark color was barely noticeable. Her hair was up in its usual top knot, though it was tidier than Caleb had seen it thus far. Likewise, the smudged makeup around her eyes was cleaned up and neat. She looked quite handsome. “Yeah, yeah, quit your staring,” she said. “Look, I know you’re nervous and shit, but we’ve been trying to get Gustav to talk to us for months and he’s just put us off over and over. Nott is gonna do her best to get Molly to talk to you, but if he won’t do it then she’ll try to get Ornna or Jester or someone else Gustav will listen to instead. Whoever you end up talking to, keep in mind that this is the best chance we’ve all got for some honest work, so uh… I mean, no pressure?”

Caleb swallowed. Yes, no pressure, and yet his entire future in Zadash, as well as the future of his new acquaintances, depended on how well he performed that night. There was no use in putting it off. Caleb finished pulling himself together and joined the others downstairs.

Caduceus greeted him by offering him a small bottle with a dark liquid inside. “Saved you a little,” he said. “It’s a bit cold by now, but it’ll still work.”

“W— What is it?” Caleb said, examining it.

“Caduceus,” Fjord said. “I don’t know if Caleb should drink any.”

“That dose would wear off by the time the show is over,” Caduceus said. “Even considering how skinny he is.”

Caleb pulled the jacket of his suit tighter around his chest. He hadn’t regained the weight he lost over the years, but he didn’t consider himself scrawny, or not excessively so. Caduceus, considering his size, was relatively much more gaunt than Caleb was. “I still don’t know what it is,” Caleb said.

“It’s Caduceus’s special mushroom tea,” Beau explained. “It’s good to take before shows like this because uh, well it makes them… more interesting.”

“You see really pretty colors and you feel all fuzzy,” Nott said. “But only if you drink so much. _Too_ much and then everything just gets… scary.”

Caduceus nodded. “It’s okay, I’ve been cultivating this stuff for a long time. This strain is pretty mellow, shouldn’t cause you any problems. And of course you’re welcome to decline, just thought you might want to join in.”

Caleb looked around the group. Fjord was the only one who appeared uneasy. Caleb didn’t have much experience with narcotics, but as he had told himself earlier, all experiences were valuable experiences. “And you said it will wear off before I meet Mollymauk?”

“It should,” Caduceus said. “Also if you don’t drink all of it then it won’t affect you as much. It makes the lights on stage look really cool, though.”

Curiosity got the better of Caleb. He unstoppered the bottle and drank half of it. The tea hadn’t gone completely cold, but the tepid temperature wasn’t very pleasant, nor was the taste. Caleb coughed, but kept it down. Caduceus nodded. Fjord still eyed the bottle warily, but his shoulders relaxed a little. Beau beckoned them all out the door.

“Come on, guys. We gotta go or we’ll get shitty seats.”

And so Caleb followed his new friends out of the Leaky Tap into the warm evening air and they made their way to the Cabaret.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mighty Nein takes Caleb to his first show at the Cabaret of Curiosities and a most fateful mistake is made.

The Cabaret of Curiosities was close enough to the Leaky Tap that Caleb suspected he could see it from his window, though he hadn’t had much time to look for it. It was grand compared to other buildings in the Outerstead, not much taller than some of the larger nearby shops but sprawling over a space that could have accommodated four or five of those shops. Fjord explained that the building was L-shaped with a walled courtyard squaring it out that was accessible from both the theatre section and the “backstage” section that jutted off from that where the members of the Cabaret lived and worked during the day. The front façade was designed to imitate a circus tent, with the front door situated in the “flap”. Strings of lights stretched out in a web from the top of the “tent” along the lines of the different colors. The walk there from the Leaky Tap was long enough that the tea Caduceus gave Caleb was kicking in. The colors of the painted wood shifted across each other like ripples on water, yet they remained completely stationary. Likewise the little lights skittered and danced like faeries, and some of them appeared to grow larger as though taking flight out into the street, except they never really changed size or even moved. It worried Caleb.

Sensing his discomfort, Caduceus walked over to put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. It was a large warm hand. The heat of it spread over Caleb’s shoulder like the orange light of a sunset pouring over a hill. “Everything’s okay,” Caduceus said. His voice felt lower, slower, but comforting all the same. “Keep in mind that whatever you’re seeing that upsets you isn’t real, and focus on the things that look nice.”

Caleb nodded. “Okay.” He looked up at Caduceus. The pink from his hair was bleeding into the light from a streetlamp behind him. That was a nice thing. Caleb didn’t know how long he stared but then Beau and Nott were nudging him towards the door.

“If you think it’s cool outside,” Beau said, “you’re gonna love the inside.”

Directly inside the door was a lobby already packed with patrons waiting for the show to begin. There were more lights crisscrossing the walls in spectacular patterns that Caleb couldn’t hope to follow in his current state, and they surrounded frescos of people doing amazing tricks or taming wild beasts. At one end of the room was a ticket booth — or at least Caleb thought the illuminated sign above it said “TICKETS” but somehow his mind saw it as “IKITHON” a few times — and at the other end was a sprawling bar that curved to take up the entirety of the side wall and a third of the wall opposite the front door. People clamored around it and waved their hands to get the bartenders’ attentions. Caleb did not feel like intoxicating himself further. Fortunately, Beau took him by the arm and led him to purchase their tickets instead.

Caduceus kept Caleb calm as they waited for the doors to open. Caleb could tell it was time by the sudden change in atmosphere. All the people who had previously milled around with their drinks and polite conversation turned their attention to the doors with the same excitement as a pack of hounds when their quarry emerges from its burrow. Beau elbowed many of them out of the way to carve a path so the others could follow her.

“We got you the best seats,” she told Caleb. “Since this is your first time, it’s best if you see it up close.”

Caleb allowed her to drag him along. He stared up at the room around him. It was massive. Both side walls were lined with balcony seating, two more levels above what was already a sea of seats, hung with rich fabrics of reds and blues and gold accented by more lights. The stage was framed by a proscenium thirty feet high and sixty feet wide, but the apron extended out into the house another forty feet, ending in a rounded platform like the stage of a circus. There was a sort of trench around it, separating it from the audience by a narrow gap with waist-high fencing on the house side. The first two rows of seating closest to that stage were comfortable booths that were large enough for Caleb, Beau, Nott, Fjord, and Caduceus to fit in with room left to maybe fit someone else of Nott’s size. Such luxury was clearly intended for VIP attendants.

“Can you afford this?” Caleb hissed to Beau.

Beau smirked. “I know a lot of the people who work here. I owe at least one of them some favors after tonight, but it’s worth it, trust me.”

From down under the apron of the stage floated the unmistakable sound of an orchestra tuning up. Despite the discordance of the different instruments, Caleb thought it was one of the most beautiful things he had heard in a long time.

“I’m going to get us some drinks,” Nott said. She climbed over Beau’s and Caleb’s laps and left without asking what anyone wanted. Caleb didn’t even know what they served here, so he would have to trust her decisions on this. No one else had told her what to get. Caleb told himself not to worry. In the meantime, he was content to take in the opulence of the hall and listen to the squeaks and toots and twangs of the orchestra.

Another small party arranged themselves in the booth next to Caleb. The ones that caught Caleb’s attention first were the goliath and the ogre, but then he noticed the wild-eyed gnome at their heels. Behind them there was a black-furred tabaxi in a fancy yet sensible dress and a blue-skinned water genasi dressed in a suit similar to Caleb’s. The tabaxi sat in the center of the booth with the genasi on the side of her closer to Caleb, with the goliath on his left. The ogre and the gnome took the other side of the booth, with the gnome sitting on the end so he could see. Caleb couldn’t quite comprehend their faces at the moment, but the gnome unsettled him. Either the tabaxi or the genasi or both must be important people to have such bodyguards with them. Caleb did what he always did around people like that and tried not to be noticed.

Nott returned with their drinks. In her haste she tripped on the goliath’s foot, spilling one of the drinks onto her lap. The goliath stood up to her full menacing height. “I’m so sorry!” Nott exclaimed. Setting down the remaining drinks on the table in front of Caleb, she pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of her dress and offered it to the goliath. The goliath growled. Nott shied away then held it out to the genasi instead. “Here, you look like you need it.”

The genasi glared at Nott. “I beg your pardon?”

“You’re all wet,” Nott said. “Didn’t it spill on you too?” She waved the handkerchief in the genasi’s direction. “Here, take it.”

The goliath moved between Nott and the genasi. “Move along,” she snarled.

Nott turned up her nose, which was already pointed fairly high in order to make eye contact with the goliath. “Hmph! I was just trying to help. And my seat is _right here_ , thank you.” She stepped over to Caleb. “Can you believe how rude some people are?” she asked, gesticulating with the handkerchief. “All I did was offer—”

“ _Nott_ ,” Caleb hissed quietly. “That man is a water genasi. They are always…like that. _You_ were the one being rude.”

“…Oh. Are you sure?”

“ _Yes!_ ”

Nott tucked the handkerchief back in her pocket. “Well _I_ didn’t know that. Can’t blame me for not knowing _everything_.” She climbed back over Caleb’s and Beau’s laps to her seat. Fjord and Caduceus had the sheets of the script out on the table and were arguing over which ones Caleb should discuss with Molly.

Beau cleared her throat. “Guys, put those away. Not only are people gonna hear you and maybe steal our ideas, but Nott hasn’t even talked to Molly yet.”

“It’s okay,” Nott said. “I talked to Bo out at the bar. Not Beau, Bo. You know, Bo. Anyway, I told him to tell Molly that we had someone very important we want him to meet. I suggested they go to the Dragon. That’s where Molly likes to… _‘do business’_ anyway, isn’t it?”

Caleb frowned. “Er um, excuse me, but _what_ dragon?”

“ _The_ Dragon,” Nott said. “It’s this place they have in the courtyard shaped like a dragon. There’s a room in its back that you climb its tail to get to, and then there’s a little place to sit on its head. People can rent it for a night or two, but obviously the people who work here use it for free whenever they want.”

“And this… this Bo is going to tell Mollymauk to meet me there?”

“Yes, right after the show. Well, I suppose Molly will have to get changed out of whatever he’s wearing for his act tonight, but you can probably wait in there for him. There’s another bar in the courtyard with food and places to sit and eat, so we can go there and be available in case Molly wants to talk to the rest of us too.”

Caleb’s heart, which was already beating faster than usual from Caduceus’s tea, leapt to a full gallop. This was really happening. In just a short time, he was going to present his work to Mollymauk and maybe secure a foothold on the way to getting their play produced. He had suspected he was going to find his new start in Zadash, but he never expected it to come so quickly, let alone that it would be contingent on a meeting with a cabaret performer.

Unbeknownst to Caleb, Molly was watching him from backstage at that very moment. Or rather, he was sneaking peeks through the curtain in between stretches. Gustav was watching the crowd as he usually did, except tonight there was a special guest in the audience that he had been keeping an eye out for.

“Ah, there he is,” Gustav said. “The Gentleman has taken a seat right up front.”

Molly shifted his bodyweight onto his hands and tucked his head between his legs to look at Gustav. “Should I make the show a little… _extra special_ for him?”

Gustav grinned over his shoulder. “If you can.” Turning his attention back out through the curtain he said, “With an investor like the Gentleman we can make some big changes, big _big_ changes.”

“So you’ve said,” Molly chuckled. “Better equipment, more electricity, renovations and upgrades and expansions, you haven’t talked about anything else since you started negotiating with the Gentleman.” Tumbling back onto his feet, Molly stretched his arms up over his head and whipped his tail side to side. “And yet I still know so little about him.”

“Well, you’re going to get to know him tonight,” Gustav said. “I’ve arranged for you to meet with him in the Dragon after the show, once I've had a chance to butter him up with a drink or two. Give him a ‘private performance’ he won’t forget, but leave him wanting more, _much_ more, the kind of _more_ he can only get if he— Oh, fuck all.”

“What is it?”

“That little goblin Brenatto is here. Oh gods, she’s here with her troupe and they’re sitting right next to the Gentleman.” Gustav sighed. “They’re here to ask me about their show again, I know it. We just don’t have the funds to bring in outside performers right now! Maybe if the Gentleman agrees to invest in the Cabaret, we could consider it, but not hers. From what I’ve heard they don’t even have a real writer working on it.”

Molly cracked his neck. “Yeah, Yasha told me. They’ve got some dwarf Beau picked up in who knows where. I want to see the Gentleman, though. Need to know my target for tonight.”

Gustav shook his head. “And now Brenatto is harassing him with a handkerchief. Gods, if she scares him off I swear to Sehanine…”

“I said let me _see_ , Gustav.” Molly gently pushed Gustav aside to peer through the curtain. Veth Brenatto was easy to spot, despite her size. She had on her favorite bright yellow dress and was currently waving a handkerchief at a handsome man with red hair. Molly grinned. This would be no problem. When he had heard that the Gentleman was someone who preferred to remain unseen, he thought maybe it was because he was grotesque or something. The man Veth was bothering wasn’t very old, at least from what Molly could tell at this distance. With hair like that it would be difficult to spot any stray silver strands, but he had to be younger than forty. His deep auburn beard was neatly groomed and he was dressed in a suit that Molly had seen on many high-ranking officials and politicians. He also appeared to be uncomfortable as Veth climbed over him to sit with the rest of her friends. Molly wasn’t sure why the Gentleman was sitting with them, but the audience was filling up quickly and perhaps that was the angle at which he wanted to view the show. At least he had his guards in the booth right beside him in case Brenatto and her bunch bothered him too much.

“Do you see him?” Gustav asked.

“The one in the fancy suit with the cute little beard? Kinda long hair and sitting next to a goliath and all those other shady people?”

“That’s the one.”

Molly’s grin grew wider. His tail flicked in excitement. “Good. I like him.”

“Well, let’s hope he likes _you_.”

Molly pouted at Gustav. “How could he _not?_ ”

That made Gustav laugh. “Of course, Molly. What was I thinking? He’ll _love_ you.”

“But how would he like me _best?_ ” Molly asked. “Should I be playful? Demure? Seductive?”

Gustav smiled. “From my experience with him, I would say he’s the type who likes a challenge, but appreciates someone who can submit under the right pressure.”

Molly nodded. “Ah, so a fiery will right up until he gets his hands on me, then _I’m_ supposed to melt for _him?_ I can definitely do that.” He parted the curtain for one last look. The Gentleman was watching the stage expectantly. Veth and her friends were chatting away, and there appeared to be pieces of paper on the table in front of them. Molly cringed. If the Gentleman heard them talking about their shitty play and thought those were the kinds of shows Gustav wanted him to fund, there was no way he would do business with them. Molly would have to be completely irresistible tonight. At least it would be easy to turn on the charm for someone that handsome.

The call went out backstage that the show would begin in five minutes. Gustav did his usual check that everyone who was performing tonight had what they would need, while Molly continued his limbering exercises. He had been feeling a little off earlier and didn’t want to get any sudden cramps while he was up on the trapeze. It was probably because of something he ate or hadn’t eaten. It was too late to get something now. Once he was done he would have some fruit and a tall glass of water. He didn’t think he would be doing anything too strenuous with the Gentleman later that might upset his stomach. However, if he and the Gentleman got on well enough that the Cabaret would have a new investor, he might celebrate by letting the Gentleman have more than just a little taste of what he had to offer.

The house lights dimmed. Ghosts of color hung in the air, but the more Caleb tried to watch them the fainter they became. A bright shaft of light beamed down from somewhere above the stage. From behind the curtain a lone figure stepped into it. The audience applauded. Caleb craned his neck to see.

“Molly?” he asked over the racket of so many clapping hands.

“No,” Beau replied. “Gustav.”

Gustav Fletching was a lithe half-elven man with ashen blonde hair that tumbled out from under his somewhat floppy top hat and halfway down his back. The spotlight followed him as he walked out onto the apron. He waved back to his audience. There was a light skip in his step that kicked up the tails of his coat.

When he reached the center of the ring, the applause stopped. “Good evening, gentlefolk,” he said. His voice carried out to the corners of the hushed room. “Welcome to the Cabaret of Curiosities. Welcome to both our long-time patrons, and especially welcome to those of you who are fresh faces in the crowd today. No doubt you heard good tales about us, and hopefully we can satisfy your…” Gustav flashed a grin and a wink to the people in the front row booths, his eyes darting briefly in Caleb’s direction. “…curiosity.”

A soft ripple of laughter spread across the house. Caleb realized he _was_ curious, _very_ curious. The others had told him a little about what he might expect from this show, but he was eager to see it for himself. After all, Nott mentioned that if the Cabaret produced their show, some of the performers might want to be included, and if Caleb were to write parts for them he would like to write to their strengths.

“A quick little notice before the show begins,” Gustav continued, addressing the audience as a whole. “Those of you who have been here before, you know what I’m about to say, but for those of you who are new, I must warn you; if you are faint of heart or easily overwhelmed, you may wish to step out now. Some of the acts you are about to see might be more than you can handle.”

Caleb groped for Beau’s hand. She slapped him away at first. “Beau,” he whispered. “Beau am I going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, grabbing his hand to give it an assuring squeeze. “It’s gonna get kinda crazy, but I guarantee you’re going to live through it. Just watch.”

“Okay.” Caleb had never taken any substances that put him in this mindset before. He was nervous. Normally he didn’t consider himself faint of heart or easily overwhelmed, but this wasn’t a normal situation. He did have experience keeping quiet when he was startled or panicking, so even if something did catch him off guard he probably wouldn’t cause a scene over it. And he could always follow Caduceus’s advice of focusing on something nice if anything started to upset him. He glanced over at the others around his booth. He had friends already. That was nice. They were nice. Strange, but nice.

Gustav pulled a baton out from under his coat tails. He waved it in the air. “Without further ado!” he announced. “To start off the show, I present to you our Sapphire, Jester!” With that he ran forward and leapt off the edge of the apron, vanishing into the pit. Caleb gasped, but everything seemed to be okay.

The curtains of the stage opened. Out pranced a blue tiefling girl in a frilly dress. Behind her, set pieces wheeled into place. Aside from some environmental pieces like small trees and fake bushes, there were four small wooden structures, resembling a hut, a mill, a temple, and a barn. The tiefling bowed for the cheering audience then took her place outside the “hut”. Music played from under the stage. Men stepped out from behind the four set pieces. They stood there while Jester sang a rather suggestive song, dancing with each of the men during their respective verses. At the end, four scantily clad women also emerged from behind the set pieces and all clamored around Jester as she belted out the final lines.

Fjord stood up to applaud the song when Jester and her assistants took their bows. “Wonderful, Jessie!” he shouted. He put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Similar whistles sounded from various areas of the house. Caleb had a hard time pinpointing them all, unsure if they were different whistles at all or the same one echoing off the walls.

Beau tapped Caleb’s shoulder. He turned his ear to her. She jerked her thumb at Fjord. “He has a massive crush on her,” she said with a grin. “He’ll swear he doesn’t, but, c’mon, just look at him.” It might have been whatever was in that tea, but Caleb thought he saw a smitten glimmer in Beau’s eyes when she looked at Jester, too.

Gustav returned from backstage to announce the next act, and the next, and the next. Each performer had a nickname based on precious stones, such as Ornna the Fire Opal, Mona and Yuli the Jade twins, Marion the Ruby. There were also a couple of comedic skits between those acts that Caleb laughed at louder than he might have in a sober state.

And then, right around the time Caleb’s mind began to regain some clarity, Gustav walked up into the ring with his baton raised. “And now!” he exclaimed. “The moment I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for! I would like to proudly introduce the Carnival of Curiosities’ own Diamond Devil.” Rather than loudly proclaim the name as he had with all the others, Gustav tipped his hat and said in a reverent stage whisper that still found its way to the walls of the house to echo and surround the stage, “ _Mollymauk Tealeaf._ ”

The entire theatre went dark. There was no applause, only the susurrous buzz of anticipation that hummed through the crowd. In the darkness Caleb could barely make out a few shapes darting around on the apron stage, setting something up.

A spotlight switched on with a soft _schTCK_. It was pointed at something hanging about fifteen feet off the stage. It was not just something, but some _one_. Suspended from several catwalks and bits of rigging in the ceiling was a collection of three trapezes and a circle of thick ropes spaced over the rim of the apron, from which poles had extended to support a broad net. On the trapeze above the center of the stage sat a slender figure delicately holding the ropes with their ankles crossed and a long arrow-tipped tail drifting in the space beneath them.

A thousand thousand poems bloomed and wilted in Caleb’s mind, not one of them sufficient to describe the vision of beauty and elegance before him. Stars, flowers, natural wonders, seasons, storms, myths and legends of creatures above and beyond the mortal races, none of them could compare. Mollymauk defied all attempts to capture his essence in mere words. The only one that stuck in Caleb’s mind was ‘ _wunderschön_ ’ _._

Beau reached over and shut Caleb’s mouth for him. “Easy there, tiger,” she said. “You can gawk all you want, but make a good impression while you’re doing it, alright?”

Mollymauk’s horns were adorned with diamond-studded silver bands that shone and glittered where the spotlight hit them. He wore a loose white long-sleeved shirt and long pants patterned in shades of blue. His tail swayed in the beam of the spotlight like it was playing in a pool of water, flashes of light glinting off the bits of jewelry pierced into its tip. His red eyes scanned the audience, then turned to look directly at Caleb. Caleb was already stunned, but the sudden attention nearly stopped his heart. Mollymauk smiled.

From under the stage drifted the melody of a single harp. Letting go of the ropes, Mollymauk fell backwards. Caleb’s heart jumped back to life in fear, but Mollymauk gripped the trapeze with his legs and swung back and forth, still smiling. The music flowed at an easy pace and Mollymauk moved in time with it. He gradually built up momentum as the tempo increased.

Then he leapt. The harp struck a staccato cord when he let go of the trapeze, then resumed with more intensity when his hands found the next bar ten feet away. A few people cried out in astonishment and many more applauded, but it lasted for the briefest of moments before they went back to watching in silence.

The harp’s song shifted to a more playful tune. Mollymauk pushed himself up and flipped around the bar, wrapping his legs around the ropes to once again hang upside down. After a moment of swaying there he bent backwards to hold the bar with both his hands and tail and stretched his legs up one at a time. He let go with one hand, now only suspended by one arm and his tail, and kicked his legs slowly as though he were walking in the air. He blew kisses to the audience. His last kiss was directed at Caleb, and he waggled his fingers in a little wave. Caleb reflexively lifted his hand to wave back. Mollymauk grinned. He took hold of the bar and swung himself up in a sweeping circle, then another, and another, briefly pausing at the apex each time.

Before he could complete another full circle, he let go, flying forward with his hands outstretched to grab one of the dangling ropes. Caleb realized the harp had been joined by several other instruments, though he only noticed because the music was swelling. Mollymauk hitched the rope between his feet and swung out over the crowd, reaching up to the ceiling with immaculate poise. The fabric of his shirt billowed around him. He swung himself from rope to rope in a full circuit until he returned to the one in front of Caleb. Caleb could swear Mollymauk winked at him.

Mollymauk jumped back to the trapezes. Every motion seemed so effortless, so joyous, so free, as though he were only holding onto the bars or ropes to prevent himself from flying away, rather than falling. He danced midair to the music playing from underneath him. There were so many moments when Caleb feared Mollymauk would slip, that his hand or knee or tail or whichever wouldn’t have a good enough grip, but he never faltered. The brief glimpses Caleb saw of Mollymauk’s face as he flew back and forth between the trapezes showed that the tiefling was grinning with pure giddy delight.

Returning to the central trapeze, Mollymauk balanced himself sideways across its bar. He held one rope with his hands and pushed the other rope out with his feet until he was lying almost completely flat. He brought his tail up to undo the buttons on his shirt one by one. Caleb assumed they must have been snaps because all it took was a simple flick to pop them open. Then Molly hooked one of his horns around the rope and, still maintaining his balance, shrugged his shirt over his arms and let it fall onto the net below him. His chest and back were dotted with diamonds. If Caleb squinted he could barely see a net of fibers connecting the diamonds to one another, but with the lights and the distance it gave the illusion that the gems were a part of him. Mollymauk’s tattoos flowed across his back and the right side of his body. Caleb couldn’t quite make out what they were from this distance and with Molly constantly in motion, but he spotted flowers on his right upper arm and a vivid sun and moon motif on his opposite shoulder.

After a few more seemingly impossible flips and twirls that made the diamonds flash and sparkle and scatter tiny rainbows across his skin, Mollymauk dropped, catching himself under the shoulders on the bar so it was pressed across his back. He contorted himself gracefully to grab the ankles of his pants. They tore off easily, nearly shredding in half as he yanked his legs upward to twist into the ropes. The new anchoring allowed him to swing out and toss his pants into the crowd. They didn’t get very far. Some of the patrons a few booths over from Caleb fought over who got to snatch them off the railing where they landed. There were more diamonds on Mollymauk’s legs, all the way down to his ankles. His only form of modesty was a black jockstrap, which also had tiny diamonds sewn into it. Cheers broke out around the house. The jockstrap provided full freedom of movement for his tail, but it also exposed his pert toned ass. The next set of moves Mollymauk did showcased that ass for all to see. Caleb watched, utterly mesmerized, his cheeks flushing hot and his insides aflutter.

The music slowed. Mollymauk sat on the trapeze as though it were a swing hanging from a tree, kicking his legs back and forth. He almost lazily flung himself to the next trapeze, the one closer to Caleb, where he sat and resumed his swinging. Then he jumped to a rope. He made a gesture above his head and the rope lowered. Mollymauk used his momentum as his descended to propel himself out of the ring.

He slid down the rope, landing on the house side of the railing in front of Caleb’s booth. He took a long graceful step to nearly sit in Caleb’s lap. Caleb couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He could only stare in wonder and admiration.

Then Mollymauk leaned down to murmur in his ear, “See you in the Dragon, handsome.” His lips pressed a fleeting kiss to Caleb’s cheek.

Caleb gasped a shuddering breath. His nose and lungs filled with a warm alluring scent, earthy yet spicy beneath a layer of sweat. Caleb looked into Mollymauk’s eyes, wishing he had something to say in return, but his words still failed him under the smoldering ember gaze. Mollymauk batted his eyelashes with a little smile. He took a step back then tugged the rope, which raised him into place above the stage once again. Several other patrons in the front row called out for Mollymauk to come to them as well, but he ignored them and swung over to the trapezes instead.

Beau excitedly punched Caleb in the ribs with quick jabs. “Holy shit!” she whispered. “ _Holy shit!_ ”

Nott scrambled over Beau to ask, “What did he say?”

Caleb opened his mouth. Nothing came out. His eyes were fixed on Mollymauk, who was swinging on the central trapeze. Mollymauk’s scent lingered in the air. Caleb held his breath so it wouldn’t leave him. They expected him to impress _this_ person? It was a miracle Mollymauk had even acknowledged his existence, let alone _spoke_ to him, _kissed_ him. Caleb lightly touched where he could still feel Mollymauk’s lips on his skin.

The music was building to a climax. Mollymauk continued to dazzle with bolder and more complicated tricks. He went from hanging by his tail and an ankle twisted in the rope to standing on the bar in one magnificent motion. At first it seemed as though he were preparing to do more, but then his hands let go of the ropes. His feet slipped off the bar. He plummeted backwards towards the stage. Everyone gasped. He bounced in the safety net once, twice, and all the lights cut out. The music stopped a second later.

“That doesn’t usually happen,” Beau whispered. There was concern in her tone. Caleb froze in terror. The length of the dark silence made him more anxious by the second.

Then a spotlight switched on, pointing down to the center of the net. Molly stood waving his shirt over his head with a big grin. The audience erupted in cheers and applause. Caleb clapped as well, but what Beau had said worried him. Mollymauk took his bows and climbed out of the net. Gustav was there to help him onto the stage.

“What a performance!” Gustav shouted over the roar of the crowd. “Our very own Mollymauk Tealeaf, gentlefolk! Isn’t he incredible?”

People called out in affirmation. Mollymauk bowed again, smiling from ear to ear. He slung his shirt over his shoulder then strutted upstage and behind the curtain.

Stagehands quickly tore down the safety net. While they rolled it up, Gustav stood in the center of the apron. “Thank you all for coming,” he said. “As always, we at the Cabaret of Curiosities appreciate each and every one of you for your support. We have much more to show you beyond what you saw here tonight. Be sure to come back again to see some of our other amazing and talented performers. Flyers with our schedule are posted in the lobby, or you can simply stop in and surprise yourself. Either way we look forward to seeing you in our audience again. Farewell, good night, and stay curious.”

The house lights dimmed. When they came back up Gustav was gone. Murmuring chatter filled the theatre, accompanied by the sound of hundreds of people getting up from their seats, including the group in the booth next to Caleb. The ogre and the goliath took defensive positions on either side of the genasi and the tabaxi and the party walked towards the main stage. Caleb watched them until Beau jabbed him in the ribs again.

“Ow!” Caleb said. He frowned at her. “Please, stop.”

“Sorry!” Beau’s expression went from apologetic to excited in the blink of an eye. “So? What did he say?” The others leaned across the table with equally eager expressions.

Caleb took a deep breath. “He said, ‘See you in the Dragon.’”

Fjord slapped his hands on the table triumphantly. Nott got up on the booth and danced with her hands in the air. Beau clapped Caleb on the back. Even Caduceus’s ears swiveled up as he said, “That’s great.”

“We’re in!” Nott exclaimed. “ _We’re in!_ Drinks are on me!”

“I think Caleb should stay sober for this,” Fjord said. “But we’ll buy you a drink when you’re done, alright, Caleb?”

Beau snorted. “If Molly’s done with him before morning.”

“ _Beau!_ ”

“What? If he pulls this off he might get lucky.”

Caleb swallowed. The thought had crossed his mind, given what the others had told him about Molly. The attention Molly had just bestowed upon him made that possibility seem much more real. Caleb’s stomach clenched and his heart fluttered like a trapped bird. “I-I um… I think if, erm… if the offer does come up, I will…decline.”

“What?” Nott interjected. “ _Why?_ ”

“Well, because… I wish to keep things professional between us.”

“That’s actually a good plan,” Beau said. “Don’t want to make things awkward like, right after you’ve decided you’re going to work with someone.”

Nott muttered something under her breath. Caleb thought he heard her mention Keg. Beau clearly did too, because she turned to scowl at Nott.

“Let’s not tally our harvest before the fruit is ripe,” Caduceus said. “Caleb has to actually talk to Molly first, _then_ we’ll know whether or not we’re celebrating.”

Beau nodded. “He has a point. Come on, hot stuff, let’s get you to the Dragon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jester is singing [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xwJNrmMyPk&feature=youtu.be&t=58) by the O'Danny Girls. If you're in the neighborhood of the Maryland Renaissance Festival while it's on, I highly recommend visiting for the fabulous entertainment, including these lovely ladies!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are three seductions; one mistaken, one rushed, and one poetic.

Yasha burst into Molly’s room. “You _fell?_ “

Molly swallowed his mouthful of grape. “Hello to you too. Excellent playing as always, by the way. One of these days we really need to get you on stage so everyone knows where that wonderful harp music is coming from.” He plucked two more grapes off the bunch and popped them into his mouth.

“Molly, don’t you dare deflect this. What happened?”

“Nothing.” Molly gestured to his snack. “I didn’t eat enough today. Made me a little dizzy, that’s all. It’s why the net is there.”

Yasha sighed. “Why didn’t you eat today?”

“Wasn’t hungry. After that big breakfast we had I didn’t want anything until a few hours ago, and then I didn’t eat anything heavy because I didn’t want to throw up while I was performing.”

That was the answer that made the most sense, but Molly had accidentally forgotten to eat before a show before and it hadn’t affected him the way it had tonight. Right as he was about to do his big finish, suddenly it had felt like his center of gravity had aggressively relocated upwards and knocked him off balance. He blacked out for a moment while he fell, and when he snapped out of it he was bouncing on the safety net and all the lights were off. Fortunately he was able to indicate to Cali up on the catwalk that he was okay and she could turn on her spotlight, but frankly he was unsettled by it too. Not unsettled enough to see a doctor, though, not when he had such an important meeting tonight.

Yasha narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Molly held out his arms and spun around. “Do I look like I’m not alright?”

“I mean…” Yasha sighed. “Just don’t do that again, okay? Desmond had us all stop because no one was sure what was happening and I nearly leapt out of the pit to check on you.”

Molly chuckled through a smile. “I would have appreciated that, were I actually in trouble.” He crammed a few more grapes in his mouth. “I’m better though, see?”

“And you’re drinking water?”

Molly nodded.

“Really?”

“Mhm.” Molly refilled the glass he had on his vanity. Swallowing his snack, he tilted his head back and poured the whole glassful down his throat in one gulp. He coughed to clear the drops that tried to go down the wrong pipe, then arched an eyebrow at Yasha.

“Show off,” she said. Molly knew her well enough to notice the little smile she was holding back.

“I put in the practice to be able to swallow swords, I get to use that skill whenever I feel like it.”

Yasha snorted. “Yes, I know, and your clients appreciate it a lot. You say that _every time._ ”

Molly waggled his head to jingle the charms on his horns. “Because they do. Speaking of which, while you’re here, help me pick out an outfit. I have an investor to seduce…”

* * *

The Dragon was a massive structure, taller than most of the houses found in the Outerstead. When Caleb first walked into the courtyard he instinctively ducked behind Fjord and Caduceus at the sight of it. All the tales and legends of dragons of course spoke of how large the creatures were, with even the young ones having jaws that could bite a human in half or consume an entire gnome. The Dragon of the Cabaret of Curiosities was modeled after a red dragon, though its claws and horns and the scales on its belly were painted gold. Its raised foreleg could have crushed Caleb if he stood beneath it, and there was plenty of space beneath it for him to do so. Climbing over that foreleg from a balcony in its chest was a staircase that led up its neck to what appeared to be a platform on the top of its head that two people could sit in comfortably.

Beau pointed out another staircase that led up its tail. “That goes to the front door. I mean, technically it’s the back door, but it’s the door that goes in.” She grinned. “You gotta go in the Dragon’s butt.”

Caleb stared up at the beast. Its snout pointed out over the roof of the theatre, but its golden eye seemed to stare back at him. Beau patted him on the back and gave him a little shove in its direction. He crossed the courtyard, heart in his throat. Why did they have to put this thing on the opposite side? Why couldn’t they have put it right outside the theatre door instead of all the way over past the tables where everyone could see him walk by? Caleb straightened his back and hastened as calmly as possible to the stairs in the tail.

The door to the inside was unlocked. Caleb poked his head in. “ _Hallo?_ ” No response. He walked in and closed the door behind him. The interior of the Dragon was divided into two sections, both of which were about the size of the room Caleb rented at the Leaky Tap. The sections were divided by a small set of stairs with short walls on either side. The upper floor contained a single rounded bed with red silken sheets that took up most of its space and had sheer drapes hanging around it. The room directly in front of Caleb was more of a sitting area, with a long couch on one side and two sofa chairs on the other, all of which shared the same indigo upholstery and an assortment of jewel-colored pillows. Up against the wall by the stairs was a vanity with drawers. Caleb’s reflection looked back at him from its mirror. In the other back corner was a beautiful brass gramophone on a hip-height stand that held a number of records on a shelf beneath it. Next to the couch and close to the door a pitcher of water sat on a polished mahogany end table along with a row of glasses. The walls were decorated with exquisite paintings and bright tapestries. Even the rug, though faded from years of foot traffic, added a swirl of color to the décor.

Caleb could see why people would spend money to stay in this place despite it being in the middle of the theatre’s property. Everything was beautiful, if a tad overwhelming. Caleb was thirsty, but didn’t help himself to any water in case it was impolite to do so without an invitation. He also didn’t want to sit on any of the furniture because it all looked so nice. He walked around the room to look at the paintings. One showed a merman sitting on a rock in the middle of the sea, offering a hand to an elven sailor in tattered remnants of clothes who was clutching a piece of wreckage. Another showed a dryad sitting on the bank of a river with a naiad resting her head in their lap, and they were both completely naked. After noting that a third painting depicted a succubus bewitching a hapless male half-orc, Caleb figured out the theme and instead went to look at the gramophone. It was a lovely machine, though it was yet another thing he didn’t want to touch unless he was told it was alright. With nothing else to do, and still no sign of Mollymauk, he began pacing the room muttering to himself.

“ _Hallo_ , Mister Tealeaf, my name is Caleb Widogast. I am here on behalf of the Mighty Nein troupe to discuss the play we are writing. If you would like to have a seat I can show you a sample of what we have so far. …Hallo, Mister Mollymauk— er, Mister Tealeaf, my name is Caleb Widogast…”

Behind him, the door opened. Caleb tucked his hair behind his ear and adjusted his jacket as he turned around. “Hallo Mister… Mister Mollymauk… my name… my… name…”

Mollymauk once again made every word in Caleb’s lexicon feel inadequate. The brief moment in the Cabaret where Mollymauk had descended to whisper in his ear hadn’t prepared Caleb for what it was like to share a room with him. He wore an elegant blue dressing gown embroidered so the train resembled a peacock’s tail. Under that, from what Caleb could see, he was shirtless and wearing tight green leggings that matched the rich greens in the gown. The breeze from the open door swirled around Caleb, carrying the same scent that followed Mollymauk before but laced with a hint of lavender.

He had combed his hair, but loose curls still draped around Mollymauk’s horns and down over his forehead. His horns themselves gleamed with bands of silver and gold that had little gems set in them, and hanging from holes drilled in the center of their curvature and caps on their tips were little silver charms. His lips were painted a shade of blue darker than his robe, the blue of an eastern horizon at sunset before the first stars come out. But what grabbed Caleb’s attention, what made his breath catch in his throat and his heart thrum was Mollymauk’s eyes. His eyes were lined with gold, but the red of them made the Dragon seem faded and drab by comparison.

Those eyes were also wide in surprise. “Oh dear,” Mollymauk said. “I didn’t realize you were here already. I’m terribly sorry.”

Caleb paused to catch his breath. “I— _Ja_ , erm, well, I did not want to keep you waiting. I realize you are very busy. Hopefully I won’t take too much of your time.”

Mollymauk smiled. “You can take as much time as you need.” He gestured to the couch. “Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you.” Caleb moved a cushion aside and sat down. He wished Beau were here, or perhaps Fjord. They were both so confident, in their own ways, and surely they wouldn’t be stunned to silence by the presence of such a beautiful man.

“Can I get you a drink?” Mollymauk asked, walking to the end table. He caressed up Caleb’s chest with his tail as he poured a glass of water. The tip traced along his jaw. It was an unexpected gesture, and it turned all of Caleb’s thoughts to fine sand that trickled away to a place where he couldn’t reach them. Mollymauk held the pitcher over the second glass and cast Caleb an inquisitive look.

“I-I-I am f-fine, _danke,_ ” he said with a dry mouth.

Mollymauk nodded. He set the pitcher down and sat next to Caleb with his own glass. His tail patted Caleb’s cheek before settling back over Mollymauk’s lap. “Did you want something to eat? Or did you want some wine to drink instead? I can send an order out to the bar and they’ll bring it up right away. They know not to keep our important guests waiting.”

Without the touch of Mollymauk’s tail to distract him, Caleb had a slightly easier time forming sentences. “Oh, erm, n-no, thank you. The, uh… the others are waiting for me outside and, um, we were going to eat together, you know, afterwards.”

“Ah, yes, I saw you with them. Quite the impressive bunch.”

“Really? I was under the impression that you, uh, didn’t think very fondly of them. O-Or at least Herr Fletching didn’t.”

Mollymauk took a sip of water. “Well, they do have a bit of a reputation, don’t they? I’m sure once I get to know them better we’ll get along fine.” He moved closer and rested his arm around the back of the couch behind Caleb. “Speaking of which, why don’t _we_ get to know each other? After all, I’ve heard so much and yet so little about you.”

Caleb pouted in confusion. “From whom?”

“Oh, people. I won’t name names, of course. I understand you’re trying to maintain your privacy.”

Caleb thought back to Beau telling Fjord and Caduceus not to talk about their play in public in case someone stole the idea. “Yes, it’s for the best, for now.” It was so hard to breathe with Mollymauk so close. He subtly scooted a few inches away and cleared his throat. “B-But um, yes, I wouldn’t mind getting to know you, Mister Mollymauk, especially if we might be working together in the future.”

“Please, call me Molly. I certainly hope we’ll be working together, Mister…?”

“Caleb,” Caleb blurted. “Caleb Widogast.”

Molly grinned. “Mister Caleb.” He set his glass on the end table then put his hand on Caleb’s thigh. He squeezed it just hard enough to send a warm shudder up Caleb’s spine. “Let’s get to know each other then, shall we?”

Caleb swallowed. He no longer had an issue breathing; he was finding it difficult not to hyperventilate instead. The others had told him Molly was flirtatious, but he hadn’t expected him to be so _physical_. He fumbled for the papers folded and tucked into his jacket pocket. “I-I-I brought s-some of what we were w-working on, if you would like to—”

“No,” Molly said, putting a finger over Caleb’s lips. “Save the paperwork for Gustav. You’re here to prove this is all worth the investment. Let me show you the kind of treatment you can expect if we _do_ end up working together.”

Every ounce of preparation Caleb had for this meeting evaporated under Molly’s touch. Part of him wanted to open his mouth and let Molly slide that finger over his tongue. He covered his lap with both hands to hide what Molly was doing to him. He promised he would be professional. Voices in the back of his head hissed and snapped at him for his deplorable behavior. Furthermore, even if Molly’s advances were in earnest and weren’t simply the way he normally interacted with people, Caleb needed to make a good impression. That meant saying what he came here to say so Molly could tell Gustav that Nott and the others _were_ worth investing in. If Molly didn’t want to look at the script, he should at least hear a sample of Caleb’s work. “Would, um… Would you like to— to—”

Molly shifted to throw his leg over Caleb and straddle his lap. He ran his hands along Caleb’s chest. “Would I like to what, Mister Caleb?”

Caleb choked. He reflexively withdrew his hands from where they were pinned between himself and Molly, but immediately regretted it. Without anything to contain it, what he had tried to hide strained up into the new source of heat and pressure. He winced slightly as the voices in his head all screeched in unison.

Molly’s lips curled into a mischievous grin. “Oh, is that for me?” He lifted himself an inch and grabbed Caleb by the cock. His eyes widened. “I certainly hope so,” he said with a giddy flick of his tail.

“I-I’m sorry!” Caleb stammered.

“Aw, don’t be. I get a little impatient too, sometimes. It’s alright. I can take care of that for you…” Molly deftly unbuttoned Caleb’s pants too quickly for Caleb to react. He slipped his hand inside to stroke Caleb’s erection. His smile broadened and his tail curled. “ _Nnnff_ , Mister Caleb, it’s an honor and a _pleasure…_ ”

Caleb grabbed Molly by the wrist. The only words his brain could form spilled out of his mouth. “ _Ich w_ _ürde dir nicht die Welt geben, Liebster, auch wenn sie meine wäre._ ”

Molly paused. He tilted his head in confusion. “…Excuse me?”

Of course it would be that poem. All those years honing it and memorizing it so it would be perfect when he got the chance to say it, that hadn’t gone away simply because that chance never came. Even with his cock in Molly’s hand and dark memories clawing at the walls of his mind, he knew every word. Molly probably didn’t know Zemnian, though. Caleb mustered the last fragments of sense he could salvage to translate it to Common. He knew it wouldn’t sound as good, but it was something.

“ _I would not give you the world, dearest, even if it were mine to give._

_I would not curse you with its troubles, its harshness, its unforgiving nature._

_And in order to give you the world, you could not be in it,_

_What a horrid and dull world that would be; I wish to give you something better._

_Dearest, if I could give you one thing, I would give you time._

_I would harness the past and future to make this present last forever._

_Yes, gods, let me control time, so I may put it to good use._

_Let my heart weave the story of our love from the strands of fate._

_I want countless hours to spend wrapped in your warm embrace._

_I want years to stay by your side, never far in body or spirit._

_I want joyous days of sunshine, and intimate nights under the stars._

_I want summers filled with flowers, and snowy winters by the fire._

_I want time to correct all the mistakes, and to start new adventures._

_May the gods grant me these most precious gifts, so I may give them all to you._

_Time has been unkind to us, keeping us apart from each other so long,_

_But now I am here, beloved, I have… I have found you at last._

_I may not control all of time, but what I have I will gladly give to you,_

_Each moment filled with the promise of my love, until the end of our days_.”

Molly stared into Caleb’s eyes. He was leaned back in Caleb’s lap and his hands had moved to Caleb’s waist, which was a relief. Concentrating on the poem also allowed Caleb’s passions to subside. He hadn’t gone completely soft, but it was no longer a pressing issue.

After Caleb finished the poem, he expected silence. Instead he heard an odd rhythmic rumbling. It sounded like a very large cat purring, and it was coming from Molly. He had read somewhere that tieflings purred, but he had never witnessed it himself.

“Wow,” Molly said. “That was…incredible.” His voice was different. It was more of a heavy growl, not in a menacing way, but in a sort of intensified version of his accent.

“You— You liked it?”

Molly nodded. “I—” He chuckled softly. “I didn’t realize you preferred… I am so sorry if I was too presumptuous.”

Caleb put his hands on Molly’s thighs. “I was warned about you,” he said with a smile.

“Were you?” Molly grinned. He continued to purr. “I wish someone had warned me about _you_. Gods, that was amazing. Who wrote that?”

“Well… I did.”

Molly’s jaw dropped. “Did you come up with that just now?”

“Erm, no, it’s… I wrote it a while ago, but it was…the only thing I could think of.”

“I’m glad it was.” Molly’s tail swished side to side in slow pensive motions. “I, uh, I take it you aren’t quite interested in—” he gestured to his current position in Caleb’s lap, “— _this_ right now?”

Caleb laughed anxiously. “I will admit, I only came here to talk. Erm, I should also admit, I s-suppose, that I _am_ very attracted to you, Mollymauk.”

“Molly,” Molly corrected. “And I could have guessed that.”

“Yes, well…” Caleb cleared his throat.

Molly picked himself up and sat back down on the couch. His tail batted between his ankles. “I’m attracted to you too, by the way,” he said. His voice was truly beautiful when he purred. He had a lovely voice in general, but when he spoke between his purrs it was husky and rich and reminded Caleb of Infernal the few times he had heard it out loud.

Caleb slid closer to Molly. He could only imagine how red his face must have been, but it didn’t matter. His heart leapt and danced the way Molly had above the stage not half an hour ago. Mollymauk liked him. Mollymauk was attracted to him. Mollymauk liked his poetry. He tentatively reached his hand over towards Molly’s.

Without a word, Molly took his hand. He scooted over so their shoulders were pressed together. Side by side, Caleb could feel Molly purring as much as he heard it. It wasn’t quite like a cat’s purring, he realized; it was deeper, a little rougher, but still soothing in a way. Caleb loved it.

Molly leaned in close enough for their foreheads to touch. “I gotta admit, I’m more than a little surprised.”

Caleb closed his eyes and took a deep breath of Molly’s scent. “Is that so?”

“Mmm, I didn’t expect someone with your reputation to be so… romantic.” Molly’s breath across Caleb’s lips was so sweet. What his kisses must taste like…

Caleb chuckled. “What did you expect a poet from Rexxentrum to be like?” He inched just a little closer.

Molly pulled back. “…A what?” His voice wasn’t as heavy as before.

“Yes, I know, I’m not actually a playwright, but… I mean, clearly you like my work.” Caleb was still drawn to Molly’s lips. He tried to follow them, but Molly recoiled away from him.

Molly stopped purring abruptly. The silence felt cold. “A _playwright?_ ” Molly’s eyes were wide with horror, his nose wrinkled in alarm. “But— But you _are_ the Gentleman, right?”

Caleb tilted his head in confusion. “I mean, I consider myself a gentleman?”

Molly stood up and paced across the room. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck _fuck!_ ” He grabbed both of his horns. His tail whipped back and forth violently. He turned sharply to stare at Caleb with a panicked expression. “ _Who the fuck are you?_ ”

“I— I told you? My name is Caleb Widogast? Nott said she—”

“ _Nott?_ As in _Veth Brenatto?_ ” Molly bore his fangs in a snarl. “I am going to _kill_ that little alcoholic goblin!” He swept back over to the couch and dragged Caleb to his feet. “You need to get out of here before—” He froze, head snapped to look at the door. Caleb could hear two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs. “ _Shit!_ ” Molly looked around the room frantically. “Get on the floor by the couch!” he ordered. “Curl up as small as you can.”

Caleb was highly confused, but from the way Molly was acting he assumed that he should not be seen here. He did as Molly said. Molly ran up and ripped the top sheets off the bed. He threw them over Caleb, hastily adjusting them to cover him completely while still making it look like just a pile of sheets and not a pile of sheets with a person under it.

“Stay quiet,” he hissed. “If they catch you here you’re _dead_.”

Molly rushed back up to the bed to sit on the end seductively. He willed his heart to slow down. He would get answers about all of this later. Now he needed to focus. The _real_ Gentleman was coming, and Molly didn’t know what to expect.

Gustav entered first. When he saw Molly he grinned. “Ah! There you are. I thought you were going to meet us downstairs?”

“There must have been a miscommunication,” Molly replied through a clenched smile. A _massive_ miscommunication. He had described Caleb to Gustav and Gustav said that was the Gentleman. Molly should have confirmed it, but he had no reason to believe that either of them was wrong. However, what he did know of the Gentleman was that people who crossed him tended to disappear, and he didn’t want that to happen to Caleb over an innocent mistake.

From behind Gustav stepped a man whom Molly surmised was the actual Gentleman. He was a water genasi with pale blue skin, long black hair, a neatly trimmed goatee, and a well-tailored suit. The corner of his mouth curled into a smirk at the sight of Molly on the bed. Molly felt a shudder run down his tail. “I certainly won’t complain,” the Gentleman said. “I understand it is a rare opportunity to meet with the one and only Mollymauk Tealeaf like this.”

Molly grinned with a little giggle. “At the very least it’s an opportunity many cannot afford.”

The Gentleman chuckled. “I assure you, that will not be a problem for me.”

Gustav cleared his throat. “Molly, dearest, won’t you come introduce yourself properly to the Gentleman?”

“Of course, Gustav darling.” Molly walked down the stairs as elegantly as he could, putting grace into every step and every swish of his tail. He had gone through this routine plenty of times with plenty of other clients. However, he had never done it while trying to hide someone in the same room. He would have to make sure the Gentleman’s eyes stayed on him until he could find a way to get Caleb out safely. He held out his hand for the Gentleman. “Mollymauk Tealeaf, at your service.”

The Gentleman took his hand and kissed it. His lips were moist, but a _damp_ sort of moist. Molly suppressed a grimace. “I have heard good things about your… _services_ , my sweet,” he said.

Molly tossed his head pridefully. “Of course you have,” he said. “I only provide the best.” Challenge him then submit when prompted, that’s what Gustav told him to do. He had tried to entice Caleb into mutual seduction, but obviously that wasn’t why he had come here. Molly hadn’t challenged Caleb, he had taken him completely off guard. If this all went well he would apologize and maybe offer the poor man some comp tickets for a future show.

His wiles seemed to be to the Gentleman’s liking, however. The Gentleman arched one dark eyebrow and turned to Gustav. “I think we can take it from here,” he said. “Unless it is customary for you to watch…?”

Gustav gave a short respectful bow. “Not exactly, no. I shall leave you two to your privacy. My good Gentleman, should you wish, you can find me in my office after you finish.”

The Gentleman smiled to Molly. “If the rumors are true, perhaps you won’t be waiting very long. Or, if Mollymauk and I get along as well as I hope we will, then I won’t truly be finished with him for quite a while.”

Behind the Gentleman’s back, Gustav mouthed to Molly, “ _Give him a taste! Leave him wanting more!_ ” Molly gestured with his tail to show he understood. Gustav nodded. Out loud he said, “Either way, you know where to find me. Have fun, you two.” He slipped out the door, leaving Molly to deal with the Gentleman.

“Would you like anything to drink?” Molly asked, gesturing to the pitcher on the end table. He then remembered that his own drink was still there. His mind added that detail to the lies he was quickly weaving to answer any questions the Gentleman might have.

“Do you have any champagne?” the Gentleman asked.

“Not in here, unfortunately, but I can send an order to the bar and they’ll send up a bottle right away.” Molly smiled. “They know not to keep our important guests waiting.”

The Gentleman waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t trouble yourself, my dear,” he said. “Speaking of waiting, I hope you weren’t here by your lonesome too long.”

Molly had that part of the lie figured out. He clasped his hands behind his back bashfully. “Well… I was here long enough…” He glanced over at where Caleb lay hiding under the sheet. So far he was exactly where Molly left him.

“Long enough for what?”

“It’s…” Molly giggled nervously. “It’s a little embarrassing, actually…”

The Gentleman smirked. “Oh?”

Molly tucked a bit of hair up over his horn. “You see, I wanted to be ready for you when you got here. Gustav has told me so much about you, then I saw you at the show and I couldn’t help but play with myself thinking about you. Except…well…I went a little too far into my fantasy and…made a mess before you could get here.” He gestured to the sheet. “I was hoping I could clean it up, but then I heard you and Gustav coming and I simply didn’t have the _time_ , so I just threw it all into a heap and I’ll have to get that to our launderer later.” Molly wrapped his tail around his legs in a sign of guilt. “I’m sorry, but having spent myself so recently, I won’t be able to provide my _full_ services right away.” Perhaps if he can convince the Gentleman to go with him to the bar, even for a few minutes, that will give Caleb the chance he needs to escape.

However, the Gentleman walked up to Molly and took him by the chin. He rubbed his thumb over Molly’s lips. Even his fingers were damp. “I’m certain that someone with your experience knows more than one way to satisfy their benefactor.”

Here was Molly’s cue to submit. He didn’t want to do this with Caleb right there, though. He playfully bit the Gentleman’s thumb. “And will my benefactor do nothing for me in return? I thought you were a gentleman.”

The Gentleman chuckled. “Oh, you’ll find I’m far more than that, my sweet. And depending on what _you_ do for _me_ , then _I_ might be willing to do something for your little Cabaret…”

This wasn’t fair. Molly knew he had to do this so the Gentleman would invest in the Cabaret, and yet all he could think about was Caleb. He slid his hand down the Gentleman’s waist to grope his cock the way he had with Caleb. The Gentleman wasn’t fully hard yet, but Molly could already tell he was well-endowed, at least in terms of length. He didn’t have Caleb’s girth, which was disappointing. Molly did prefer thicker cocks, and Caleb’s had been perfect. Not large enough to ruin him, but enough to stretch him and fill him and teeter him on the fine edge between pain and pleasure.

“Is something wrong?”

Molly blinked. He hadn’t realized that his disappointment was showing on his face until the Gentleman snapped him out of his train of thought and he noticed his brow was furrowed and his lips were slightly pouted. He quickly put on a cocky smile. “I was just thinking,” he said. “If you were to partake of my services, then decline the contract with Gustav, would that be considered theft?”

The Gentleman tilted his head to look down his nose at Molly. “I am a man of my word,” he said. “Even if I chose not to invest I would compensate you for your time. However, I am intrigued by some of the benefits that Gustav has included in that contract, and should you prove as good as they say you are, I would be more inclined to pay a visit to Mister Fletching’s office on my way out.”

Gustav had discussed those “benefits” with Molly before suggesting them to the Gentleman. Molly didn’t normally do contracts like that, but if it meant better funding for the Cabaret then he couldn’t refuse. He did request a few amendments, which Gustav included, and that made him more comfortable with the whole arrangement. Now that he had met the Gentleman, however, he was having regrets. But the Gentleman had said “ _more_ inclined,” meaning he was already considering it. A little taste, all he needed to give him was a little taste…

Molly grabbed the Gentleman by the back of the head and kissed him. The Gentleman’s skin was wet like the outside of a glass of beer on a hot day, and while Molly understood that that was a common trait among water genasi, he still didn’t like it. It reminded him of far too many sweaty clients. Molly was a professional and did not show his disgust. Instead he allowed the Gentleman to take control of the kiss, force his lips apart with his tongue, grip him by the hair hard enough to make him squeak in pain. Molly’s instincts relaxed him into submission, but he was so far from aroused that he almost shoved the Gentleman off him so he could concentrate on something sexier. Caleb came to mind. Caleb and his gorgeous auburn hair, his deep blue eyes, his thick hard cock throbbing against Molly’s palm. Why couldn’t Gustav have waited another ten minutes so Molly could have more time with Caleb?

The Gentleman held Molly by the horns and tugged down. Molly didn’t want to do this. He remained standing firm. Instead he unbuckled the Gentleman’s belt slowly, dragging the whole thing out from his belt loops and casting it aside. It landed near where Caleb was still hunched under the discarded sheet. Molly felt sick with guilt. Caleb shouldn’t have to be here while Molly sucked the Gentleman off. The Gentleman pulled down on Molly’s horns again, rougher, impatient. Molly kissed him. The Gentleman broke it off quickly.

There was only one thing Molly could think to do to delay this further. Closing his eyes and trying his best to remember, he said, “I wouldn’t give you the world, my dear, even if it were mine to give.”

“…What?”

It was working. The Gentleman’s hands had gone slack on Molly’s horns. The problem was that Molly couldn’t remember the whole poem. “I would not curse you with its troubles, its hardships, its…unforgiving nature. If I were to give you something it would be time. I would harness the past and future to make this present last forever. Um… Gods, grant me control over time. Time has been so unfair to keep us apart, but now that we are together, what time I can control I swear I’ll give to you.” He kissed the Gentleman once more. “Each moment filled with the promise of my love, forever.” He didn’t bother with the middle part, especially since he didn’t really feel that way about the Gentleman. He prayed Caleb wouldn’t be upset.

The Gentleman paused. “What was that?”

“It’s… It’s from a play we were considering putting on. It’s by a local theatre group.”

“A play? Gustav didn’t mention you were seeking to produce any plays.”

Molly took a step back. Thank the Moonweaver, the Gentleman didn’t stop him. “This _just_ came up, actually, and it’s still in the planning process. We didn’t tell you since we didn’t want to ask you to invest in something without having anything substantial to show you, but I’m sure Gustav told you that one of the things he would like to do if given the chance is to expand the capabilities of our theatre? Go beyond simple cabaret acts and give our audiences something truly _spectacular?_ ”

The Gentleman nodded. “That did come up in our discussions, yes.” He stroked his goatee pensively. “I do enjoy a good bit of theatre, and while your show tonight was highly entertaining, there is certainly potential for improvement. And you say that line is from the play you are working on?”

“The play we are _considering_ ,” Molly said. “Yes, we’ve brought in a talented writer from Rexxentrum to work on it, very up-and-coming with a lot of promise. His name is Caleb Widogast. Perhaps you’ve heard of him?”

“I…have not,” the Gentleman said. “Though if some of my investment is going to fund the play he is writing then perhaps I should meet him, make sure he is as promising as you say.”

So Molly wasn’t a fool for not recognizing Caleb. That was good. He wondered what Caleb must be thinking, with the two of them talking about him like this. “I’m sure we could arrange that. B-But I brought up that quote because…” Molly stepped forward to nuzzle and kiss the Gentleman’s neck. He felt like he would need to wipe his mouth off with a warm clean towel after this. “…I felt the connection between us the moment you walked in,” he continued. “Time _has_ been unfair, making us wait so long to be together. From what I hear you practically have the city in the palm of your hand as it is, so the only thing I could hope to give you is more time for… for us.” He cupped the Gentleman’s cock and squeezed. “For this.”

The Gentleman moaned. “Time is such a fickle thing, it is true,” he said. “And I will admit, after seeing your performance tonight I wished I could take you home with me, watch you every night, showing off that gorgeous body for me and me alone.” He kissed Molly roughly, plunging his tongue into Molly’s mouth again. Molly flexed his throat to make himself purr. It wasn’t the same as when he purred for Caleb, but hopefully the Gentleman wouldn’t know the difference.

“But the Cabaret,” Molly said when he had the opportunity to breathe. “They need me. You wouldn’t deny them their star, would you?”

“No, I suppose not.” The Gentleman groped Molly’s ass. “But I would settle for exclusivity.”

Molly smiled. “You can talk to Gustav about that.”

“I think I will.” The Gentleman kept a firm grip on Molly’s ass with one hand as stroked the other along Molly’s horn. “Is that what you want, my sweet?”

If it meant financial security for the Cabaret… “Yes.” Molly twisted his tail up the Gentleman’s arm. “Yes, good sir. You wouldn’t believe the clientele I’ve had to put up with all these years. To finally have someone like you, someone so incredible handsome with such… class and… and good taste, it would be my pleasure.”

The Gentleman smirked. “It would be mine as well.” He slipped a finger under Molly’s tail. “Will you be thinking of me whenever you go on stage?”

“And every moment in between.” Molly was so close. The Gentleman had all but confirmed that he would invest in the Cabaret. He just needed to get him out of here and off to Gustav’s office to sign the paperwork. He slumped his shoulders and sighed woefully. “If only I hadn’t spent myself before you came here. And now I have this play on my mind, especially since having you here has given me so many ideas I want to suggest to our writer. It has left me unfortunately distracted, and as such I’m afraid I cannot give you the treatment you deserve, dear Gentleman. If it pleases you, could we reschedule this meeting? I give you my word, you will have me when I’m at my best.” He kissed the Gentleman sweetly on the cheek. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “This isn’t fair to you, but it wouldn’t be fair to provide you with substandard services either. Later, my darling, I promise.”

“Well…” The Gentleman pulled Molly into another deep kiss. Molly was starting to hate the feeling of that cool wet tongue in his mouth. “I will need some time to think about it, but I will have an answer for Mister Fletching tonight, certainly.”

Molly purred harder. “Oh thank you, _thank_ you, my dear sweet Gentleman,” he said. “The tales of your mercy and magnanimity are by no means exaggerated. I swear to you, you will not regret your decision.”

“I know I won’t. Whichever I decide, it will of course be the best option. After all, I didn’t get where I am by being a fool. I know a good deal when I see one, and I know when to walk away from a rotten one. As I said, I will take time to think it over, consult with my people, and then I will return to speak with Mister Fletching.”

It wasn’t a ‘no’. Molly flung his arms around the Gentleman and kissed him with fervor. The Gentleman’s cock rubbed against his own, still not fully erect but definitely more so than Molly was. He toyed with Molly’s tail, rubbing and tugging and stroking it. Molly continued to purr, even though he wanted nothing more than for the Gentleman to be far away from here. He couldn’t stop thinking about Caleb. This was such a brief interaction yet it felt as though it had lasted all evening, and Caleb had been hiding patiently under that sheet the whole time. Molly was definitely buying him a drink after this, preferably while the Gentleman was speaking to Gustav so he wouldn’t see Molly and Caleb together. Then again, Molly could purchase Caleb’s drink then not sit with him, but he wanted to spend more time with him, perhaps hear more poetry, or at least speak to him about this bloody play Nott was so insistent on talking to Gustav about so he could answer any questions the Gentleman had about it.

“Well then,” the Gentleman said. “You seem eager enough. Perhaps if you are still here later I will pay you another visit. Do you think you would be… _prepared_ by then?”

Molly twirled a bit of the Gentleman’s damp hair around one finger. “Even if I’m not, I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to more of your company.” He couldn’t. He didn’t want it, but he had to do what he had to do, the way he always did.

The Gentleman took Molly’s hand and gave it another kiss. “Until then, my sweet.” He looked at the heap of sheets. “Would you like me to take those somewhere for you?”

“ _No!_ ” Molly winced at his own moment of panic. “No, no no, I wouldn’t ask you to do such a menial task. I need to get fresh sheets anyway. I’ll try to do that before you get back.” He stroked the Gentleman’s thigh with this tail. “Don’t take _too_ long,” he said, batting his eyelashes.

It took a little more flirting and groping and promising, but eventually Molly ushered the Gentleman to the door and waved him farewell. He willed himself to not slam the door behind him. His head ached from how hard his blood was pumping. He took a moment to breathe before telling Caleb it was safe to come out.

Caleb stretched on the floor with a soft groan. He furrowed his brow in a concerned frown. “You didn’t actually, erm… _make a mess_ on these sheets, did you?”

“No,” Molly said. “We had fresh sheets put on that bed earlier today because I was _supposed to have a very important meeting here tonight!_ ”

“With _him?_ ” Caleb asked, nodding to the door.

“Yes, with _him._ ”

Caleb narrowed his eyes as he got to his feet. “Was that the water genasi who sat next to me earlier?”

Molly crossed his arms. “It was. I don’t suppose you know who that is, do you?”

“Erm…no, I’m afraid not.”

“ _That_ was the Gentleman, _the_ head of the Myriad’s operations in Zadash.”

“…As in the criminal organization, the Myriad?”

Molly slapped his tail on the ground. “Yeah, _that_ Myriad. He’s bloody rich and bloody respected and _feared_ and Gustav has a few connections in the Myriad so he reached out and after _months_ of back and forth communication he _finally_ managed to convince the Gentleman to attend one of our shows and see if he would be willing to invest in us in exchange for a few…favors, and _my_ job was to put him in a good enough mood that he would sign the _bloody contract_ except Gustav never told me what he looked like so when I saw _you_ , someone I had never seen before dressed up all smart like that, I thought _you_ were the Gentleman.” He growled in frustration. “If the Gentleman found you here and thought we were changing the deal this could have all ended _so fucking bad._ You saw the people he came here with, right? Imagine all of them beating the shit out of you at the same time as punishment for interfering with the Gentleman’s business; _that_ is the _best case scenario_ of what would have happened to you.”

Caleb stood frozen in awe or fear or both. He swallowed. “Well, erm…I— I am terribly sorry. I-I-I didn’t mean to cause you all that trouble, b-but I am glad you made the effort to protect me.”

“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t have been fair. You didn’t know.” Molly fiddled with one of the charms on his horn. “How long have you been in Zadash, anyway?”

“Er…about thirty-six hours?”

Molly’s jaw dropped. “You’ve been here less than two days and somehow Brenatto decided that you were going to write her play _and_ that you should talk to _me_ about it?”

Caleb shrugged, casting his eyes to the floor. “The others thought it was a risky idea, but erm… the big fellow, Caduceus, he thought perhaps you might… you might like me better than their old writer…”

The problem with Veth Brenatto and her crew was that they all apparently had only a single ounce of sense between them and sometimes they forgot who was holding onto it. Usually it was Beau. Molly didn’t have to ask to know she probably told them all it was a bad idea. Even though he liked to pester her and antagonize her when she came around to flirt with Yasha, Molly secretly appreciated Beau. She was a good person, when she wasn’t being an asshole. She also wouldn’t have let Caleb do this if she didn’t trust him. That was a huge compliment, considering that Beau didn’t trust anyone unless she knew them long enough or they proved themselves to her. Then again, she had trusted that dwarf they called their writer before, so Molly was still skeptical. Molly sighed and turned to retrieve his glass of water.

Caleb gasped. “Mollymauk, you’re bleeding.”

Ah, so that’s what that mild itching ache was. Molly twisted to check. A dark red stain was blooming across his dressing down right below his ribs. “Fuck. One of the beads cut me when I fell earlier, but it wasn’t bleeding that much. All this running around must have reopened it and made it worse it or… or…” He pressed his palm to his temple and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Gods, this whole thing is giving me a headache.”

Caleb gestured to the couch. “Why don’t you sit down? Are there bandages here somewhere or anything you could use to cover the wound?”

“Yes, in the vanity,” Molly said, waving his hand in that general direction. “Bottom drawer on the left. If you could—” His voice trailed off. He stumbled forward. Caleb rushed to catch him, nearly collapsing himself, but he held firm and helped Molly back to his feet. Molly swallowed a purr. “Thank you.”

“ _Gerne_.” Caleb eased Molly onto the couch. “I definitely think you need some water as well.”

Molly leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and resting his face in his hands. Tonight had been a lot to deal with. He was ready to curl up and sleep it off. It was as though all his luck had taken the night off and left him with nothing but misfortune. Then Caleb held out Molly’s glass of water, which he had refilled, so Molly could have a drink. At least Molly was lucky about one thing.

Caleb rushed to the vanity and opened the drawer Molly had mentioned. Its only contents were a box and a few stray vials of what might have been smelling salts. Caleb was very thankful that Molly had not lost consciousness. Not only would he not have known where to find these things to help Molly, but he would have had to find help and then explain what he was doing in here so soon after the Gentleman left. He grabbed a handful of bandages and returned to the couch.

Molly was in the process of removing his dressing gown. Caleb offered a hand to help, which Molly accepted with a wordless nod. Instead he sighed and said, “Damn it, this is one of my favorites. Hopefully we can get that stain out without damaging it but it might just be fucked.” He tossed it over onto the sheets Caleb had been hiding under.

The past ten or so minutes still had Caleb’s head spinning. It seemed that whomever Nott had spoken to didn’t actually pass along her message. This whole thing could have been avoided if they had, or more likely they could have avoided this if the Mighty Nein had waited just one more day to have Caleb speak to Molly. Perhaps by then the Gentleman would have signed his contract and the Cabaret would have more funding and then Mister Fletching would have been more open to accepting an offer to put on this play. There was no way of knowing now. They simply had to move forward from the events that had happened.

“Erm, if you don’t mind me asking,” Caleb said, twisting the bandages in his hands, “why did you recite parts of my poem to the Gentleman?”

Molly bit his lip. His tail curled between his legs. “I don’t know. Did that upset you?”

Caleb shook his head. “I am… more, er, confused, that’s all. Of all the things to say to him, why that?”

“Well, it was fresh in my mind, and it got me to stop what I was doing to you, didn’t it? I thought maybe it would have the same effect on him.”

“Oh.” Caleb hadn’t been able to see what Molly and the Gentleman were doing, but he imagined it wasn’t something he would have chosen to witness in any other situation.

Molly sighed. He nodded to the bandages. “Are you gonna use those or not?”

Heat spread into Caleb’s cheeks. “Oh, erm, _ja_ , of course.” It wasn’t a large wound, but blood was still oozing out of it slowly. Caleb quickly dipped one of the bandages in the pitcher of water and got to his knees in front of Molly to clean it up. Molly lifted his arm so it would be easier for Caleb. He winced and hissed when Caleb dabbed the wet bandage on the open cut. Caleb murmured his apologies and tried harder to be careful.

This close, Caleb had a chance to examine Molly’s tattoos. He noticed some of them were interrupted by shallow scars, especially around his arms and shoulders. That didn’t detract from how lovely they were. The flowers he had noticed bloomed down Molly's upper arm. A snake coiled around his forearm, ending with the head swallowing his hand. Blending with and emerging from the snake’s tail was the tail of a peacock, which fanned up his chest and neck and a few feathers even drifted over his cheek. The ink stood out brilliantly against Molly’s lavender skin. Every color and line was so vivid. Caleb hated needles, and as such had no tattoos of his own, but he could appreciate the artwork. Mollymauk was more than a work of art. Of all the poems regarding beauty Caleb had ever read, many of them had inspired awe in him, but none filled him with this deep feeling of admiration that he had looking at Molly.

“Copper for your thoughts?” Molly asked. He sounded bored, or perhaps frustrated. Likely he was both.

“It’s nothing,” Caleb said. “Your tattoos are beautiful. I am sure you hear that all the time.”

Molly hummed a little laugh. “I do. It’s always nice to hear though.”

Caleb pressed a dry bandage over the cut. Without all the blood around it, it was such a small thing, so small Caleb could have held it shut with the tip of his thumb. He was concerned that it had bled so much, but then again he had heard that stress made injuries worse. A pang of guilt shot through his heart like a venom-tipped arrow. Molly wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for him.

“I’m sorry,” Caleb said again.

“For what?”

“For… For everything. I have done nothing but ruin your night.”

Molly sighed. “No, it wasn’t you. I was actually glad when I thought you were the Gentleman. Then you recited that poem and I was so excited that Gustav had found us such a sophisticated and well-spoken patron. From the rumors I’ve heard, I thought the Gentleman would be a brute or something, and while he’s better than I feared, I still would prefer—”

The door opened. Caleb froze in panic. He heard Molly gasp.

From behind him, the Gentleman growled, “And what do we have here, _my sweet?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, since musical numbers are nigh impossible to write as prose, the _Moulin Rogue_ songs will be replaced by original Caleb Widogast poetry wherever possible.
> 
> (More of that next chapter ;3)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly proves that he is the King of Bullshitting while everyone else does their best to keep up.

Caleb flung himself backwards away from Molly. He was well aware of what their arrangement looked like, with him kneeling between Molly’s legs while Molly was only half-dressed. His mouth was dry and his heart was beating a frantic alarm against his sternum. What Molly said earlier came back to him in perfect detail. He could almost feel the first blows from the Gentleman’s bodyguards as they carried out the Gentleman’s wrath on him.

“ _Well?_ ” the Gentleman said. Rage seethed beneath the word. “I’m not gone five minutes and already you’ve moved on to another man?”

Molly leapt to his feet. He smiled placatingly. “Why would I ever do such a thing? No, dear Gentleman, _this_ —” he gestured to Caleb the way Gustav waved his hand to announce the next act, “—is Caleb Widogast, our writer.”

The Gentleman scowled down at Caleb. Caleb waved nervously. “ _Hallo_.”

“You see,” Molly said, “I was on my way to take the sheets to be washed, and I saw little Caleb here down at the bar. I called him up so we could discuss the play and hopefully have more to tell you by the time you came back, but in my excitement I aggravated a scratch I got earlier and he was helping me patch it up.”

Tense silence filled the air. It was so thick that Caleb couldn’t breathe. The Gentleman glared at Caleb for an uncomfortably long time, then he noticed the bloody bandage in Caleb’s hand and turned to look at the fresh one on Molly’s side with a softer expression. “You understand my suspicion, of course,” he said.

Molly nodded. “Of _course_. I even told him we should make this quick so he wouldn’t be here when you came back and give you the wrong idea. B-But also you reminded me of that line from the play and being with you inspired me so much that I simply couldn’t wait to tell Caleb about them in hopes that he could use them in the script.” Molly shifted his head just enough to acknowledge Caleb, but didn’t fully turn in his direction. “After all, I’m the star. I should have some say in my character.”

Caleb was still terrified. The best he could do was just agree and let Molly do the talking. “ _Natürlich_ , I er… I would love to incorporate your ideas, Mister Mollymauk.” To the Gentleman he added, “A-And yours too, sir, should you have any.” He pushed himself up onto shaking legs and held out his hand. “My name is Caleb Widogast. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

The Gentleman blinked in disdain, then briefly shook Caleb’s hand. His palm was slick with moisture. “You may simply call me ‘the Gentleman’.”

“ _Ja_ , _ja_ of course,” Caleb said with a sycophantic bow as he subtly wiped his hand off on his pants. He bit his tongue after that. Molly was the performer here, and he was clearly the better liar. Caleb prayed that the Gentleman wouldn’t question things too much.

Suddenly the door slammed open, nearly giving Caleb a heart attack. Nott, Beau, Caduceus, and Fjord poured into the room. “There you are, Caleb!” Nott exclaimed. “We wondered where you had wandered off to.”

A woman Caleb didn’t recognize ran through the door after them. She was a tall muscular woman with black hair that faded to white at the tips. She grimaced at Molly. “I tried to stop them,” she said.

“Oh no, it’s fine,” Molly said brightly. “I’m glad you all could make it! Thank you for coming on such short notice, but I _really wanted to discuss this play while Caleb was here, which is why I called him up here._ I’m sorry if I made you cut your meal short. You didn’t have to do that. I was hoping to speak to Caleb a little more before you lot came up. Now that we’re all here, though, shall we get started?”

Everyone except for Molly looked extremely confused, and the Gentleman’s eyes were narrowed in suspicion. Fortunately, Caleb couldn’t think of any other reason why the entire Mighty Nein and one of Molly’s friends would have burst into the Dragon, except for the truth, which seemed as absurd as a lie at this point.

Beau caught on first. “Yeah, well, um… y’know, first you asked to see Caleb and we weren’t sure where you had gone and uh…we didn’t want to be late, so…” She shrugged, then casually yet pointedly looked at the others. “Here we are, ready to talk about our play.”

The woman walked over to Molly, her brow still furrowed in worry. She leaned in and said quietly, “Molly, I sent for Gustav.”

Molly grinned. “Fantastic! He _should_ be here too. Excellent thinking, Yasha. Well, why don’t we all get acquainted in the meantime? As I said, this is Caleb Widogast, he’s our writer. Over here we have Veth Brenatto and Fjord—”

“We can introduce ourselves, Molly!” Nott interrupted. She bowed to the Gentleman with a proud smile. “We’re the actors.”

“ _Some_ of the actors,” Molly said. “We were, of course, hoping to get the whole team involved. I do believe we had Fjord planned as my co-star?”

Beau nodded. “Yeah, yeah sure, whatever you guys wanted. We’re just a simple production team, we’re aware that we’re coming into your space and we are very grateful that you’re letting us do that and contributing your resources to our show.” She held her hand out to the Gentleman. “The name’s Beauregard Lionett, I’m the manager.”

The Gentleman gave her the same curt handshake he had given Caleb. “Then I suppose you and I will have to have a few talks as well, if I choose to invest.”

“Oh that’d be neat,” Caduceus said with a grin. “We talked about maybe finding an investor of our own if we couldn’t find a theatre to take us on.”

Beau gestured to Caduceus. “And this is Caduceus Clay, our set designer. Does really good work with plants and outdoor scenery.”

Caduceus smiled at the Gentleman. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” he said.

“Oh, and Caleb,” Molly said, “I don’t think you’ve met Yasha yet? Nor have you, my dear Gentleman, but she’s someone you should _definitely_ know.” He put his arm around Yasha’s shoulders. “This is Yasha Nydoorin, the harpist for our orchestra and my best friend. She has also done a little conducting on the nights when Desmond is unable to do it, and of course we’ve been talking about making sure she has a few solos in the musical score.” Yasha whispered something in Molly’s ear. Molly patted her on the head. “Ah yes that’s _right_ , you weren’t there for that. Well, my angel, remember that play I told you about? The one these lovely people had been trying to get Gustav to put on at our theatre but we kept turning them down until they found a better writer? Well now that we have the _best_ writer Rexxentrum had to offer, we have to make sure it has the best _music_ to go with it, so naturally I said to Gustav that you needed to show off your talents, especially since you do so well creating a mood.”

Caleb had no idea how Molly came up with all of this so quickly. He had had all day to plan what to say to Molly and completely forgot it all the moment he became the slightest bit flustered. He was grateful, though, not only because Molly was saving him from a hefty beating, but because in the process he was giving the Mighty Nein the opportunity they had sent Caleb to secure for them.

 _THUNK THUNK THUNK_. Someone knocked heavily and frantically on the door.

“That must be Gustav!” Molly said. He rushed over to let him in. “Gustav!” he exclaimed before Gustav could say anything. “Welcome, welcome! We just finished the introductions, since if the Gentleman is going to invest in this show he should know the sort of people he’ll be supporting.”

Gustav walked into the room nervously. He had apparently sprinted there, given that he was catching his breath and his hair and jacket were disheveled. “I-Invest?” he asked.

“Yes, invest. He and I had our little meeting, during which I mentioned the play we’ve been considering, then he went for a walk to think about it and I happened to see _our new writer, Caleb_ , and all the others, sitting out by the bar having some drinks. My time with the Gentleman gave me such inspiration that I simply _had_ to tell Caleb about it all so he could work it into the script, so I invited them all up to discuss it. However, then the Gentleman returned because, um…”

The Gentleman crossed his arms. “It seems I forgot my belt,” he said. His tone dared anyone to comment on that fact. No one did.

Molly chuckled. “Yes, well, I should have been more careful with where I tossed it, or I wouldn’t have forgotten to return it to you. But it’s good that you’re here, and so is everyone else, because now we can all take a seat and have a nice chat.”

Gustav nodded. “Yes, yes, I am… I am so glad you made sure I was here for this meeting,” he said.

“Truth be told, you can thank Yasha for that,” Molly said. He chuckled again. “It’s good that _someone_ is here to be the sensible one.”

“Yes, very good.” Gustav cleared his throat. Gesturing to the sofa chairs he said to the Gentleman, “Please, have a seat.”

Once the Gentleman was settled Gustav sat in the other chair. Fjord, Caduceus, Beau, and Yasha arranged themselves on the long couch. Nott sat on the floor in front of them. Molly sat on the arm of the Gentleman’s chair. Caleb stood awkwardly in the corner.

The Gentleman eyed the whole group. “So, what is this play about?”

Caleb’s heart sank. Molly had declared himself the star with Fjord as his co-star, but the play they had been writing was about a priestess of Melora and her bardic childhood friend who were kidnapped by the Duergar and their adventures in trying to escape back to the surface. There was no part for Molly in there, and even if there were it wouldn’t be nearly fabulous or glamorous enough to accommodate his performance style. The Gentleman wouldn’t invest in a play like that.

Nott leaned forward, eyes alight with glee. “Well, it takes place in the Un—”

“Issylra!” Caleb interrupted. “It takes place in the… the southern forests of Issylra!” He called upon all his knowledge of myths and legends, many of which were set in the wilder regions of Issylra. His eyes darted around the room for inspiration, but then he remembered where he was. “And there’s a dragon,” he said. “It settles into a cave near a thriving happy town, and its presence causes unrest and sorrow.”

Everyone stared at him. Caleb felt increasingly more uncomfortable the longer it took him to come up with a new story, but whatever he said needed to be thought out enough to hold up to scrutiny.

“What sort of dragon?” the Gentleman asked. There was a hint of pleased curiosity in his tone. It did little to calm Caleb’s nerves.

Caduceus pouted and waggled his ears. “There wasn’t any dra— _ow._ ” Beau, bless her, had elbowed him in the side and put her finger to her lips.

Caleb swallowed. He looked to Fjord, who was thankfully silent despite the perplexed expression on his face. “A green dragon,” Caleb said. Green dragons preferred forests, according to folklore. They were also cunning and manipulative and it was said that birds and small creatures acted as spies for them in their forest, not unlike members of a secret criminal organization bringing rumors and news to their leader… “The dragon promises the town no harm and even small boons, but only in exchange for proper tribute.” He faltered and cast a desperate glance to the others to help him.

Beau spoke up. “Yeah, but, you know how green dragons don’t like treasure as much as other dragons do? Well, everyone brings their valuables as tribute, but that’s not what the dragon wants. Then they bring all their cows and goats and livestock, but the dragon doesn’t want those either.”

“Then what _does_ it want?” the Gentleman asked, addressing the question to Gustav.

Caleb noticed Molly make a subtle gesture to Gustav. Gustav smiled. “Why, entertainment, of course! It’s not an ancient dragon, but it’s old enough to be bored. It wants the people of the town to put on a show for it!”

The Gentleman grunted. “A show within a show? How quaint.”

“Not exactly,” Caleb interjected. “It wants a single person from the town to live with it in its lair to entertain it whenever it wishes. So the— the town puts on a sort of pageant to determine who is the best. The winner is a young tiefling named… named…”

“Lucien,” Molly said. “He comes from a line of tieflings that have lived in the town for generations, and while the family itself doesn’t have the best reputation, Lucien proved he had talent from a young age, and he grew up learning to do tricks he could perform for the townsfolk to make them happy and set himself apart from the others. He considers the townsfolk in general to be his family, and many of them feel the same way about him.”

“Which is why they are loathe to let the dragon take him away,” Caleb said. The story was forming more and more concretely in his mind. “They insist that he have a few days in town to say goodbye to everyone. And on the day that, erm, Lucien goes back into the forest, he encounters a half-orc whom he mistakes for the dragon in disguise, come to lead him back to its lair. After all, many dragons are rumored to take on different forms to blend in with societies, especially green dragons.”

“The half-orc is a simple wandering adventurer,” Fjord added. “He was in the forest because he heard there was a dragon troubling the nearby town and he wanted to see if there was anything he could do to help.”

“And he has a magic sword,” Beau said. “Because all the best adventurers have magic swords.”

“Can the sword be magic because it’s haunted?” Caduceus asked with an excited flick of his ears.

“I mean, yeah, it is,” Beau said. “We already agreed to that. It’s uh, it’s haunted by…”

“By the spirit of a halfling woman who died protecting her family from someone who attempted to deceive them,” Caleb said. “She haunts the sword that slew her, and whoever wields it can sense when they are being lied to. The half-orc adventurer has Lucien hold the sword so she can assure him that this is not the dragon in disguise. Lucien tells the adventurer that he is looking forward to living with the dragon, but the ghost of the sword knows he is lying. Lucien confides in the adventurer about how afraid he is and how sad he is that he may never get to see his family or friends again, so they conspire to find a way to slay the dragon and save the town.”

“And do they?” the Gentleman asked. “Or does the dragon find out about the plan?”

“Oh, it does find out,” Caleb replied. “It forbids Lucien from seeing the adventurer ever again, lest they continue plotting against it, but it does not want to give up its prize nor break its promise that it would neither harm nor kill anyone in the forest so long as the townsfolk did what it said.” He glanced at Molly. “The only problem is that the tiefling and the half-orc have fallen in love, and being forced apart from each other is a fate worse than death for them.”

“Awww,” Caduceus said. His ears drooped. “That’s so sad.”

“It’s okay, Caddy,” Beau said, reaching over to pat Caduceus on the leg. “They still find ways to talk to each other and continue their plan and in the end they slay the dragon, the ghost in the sword gets to pass on because she helped save the town, and everyone is happy.”

The Gentleman scoffed. “Surely _someone_ must die in the process of trying to kill the dragon?”

“We haven’t decided that yet,” Caleb said. “After all, we erm, we did only come to somewhat of an agreement with Mister Fletching the other day. Not all the details have been worked out yet.”

“I see.” The Gentleman stroked his beard. Everyone sat in quiet anticipation, waiting for his verdict. “I will say, it is an ambitious project. How are you going to portray a dragon on the stage?”

Gustav preened his still-disheveled hair. “I am quite good at making myself heard loud and clear in the theatre,” he said. “With the right set piece, I could easily give the illusion of being such a great beast.”

The Gentleman cocked his head. “Oh, are you going to play the dragon?”

“Who else would we get?” Molly asked. “If I hadn’t known Gustav as long as I have, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he was a brass dragon in disguise this whole time.”

Gustav put a finger to his lips. “ _Shhh!_ ” He smiled and winked.

“And I take it the ghost will be played by Miss…”

“ _Mrs._ Brenatto,” Nott said. “And not only does the sword allow its wielder to detect lies, it also prevents the wielder from telling lies of their own. Not through magical compulsion, but because whenever the wielder tries to lie the ghost looks at them like this.” Nott stood up, put her hands on her hips, and contorted her face into an exaggerated expression of maternal disappointment.

The Gentleman laughed. “Yes, I can see how anyone would be intimidated into honesty when confronted by such a ghost. And can _anyone_ see the ghost or only the person holding the sword?”

“Only the person holding the sword,” said Fjord. “The dragon tries to steal the sword so no one can see through its trickery and so it can use it to tell who is plotting against it.”

“But the thing the play explores is the fickleness of truth,” Molly said, caressing the Gentleman’s hair. “After all, one need not lie to deceive someone. It’s a matter of wording the truth the right way. And so what I was thinking after meeting with you was that, since Lucien can’t stand to be away from his clever and tragically handsome lover, he finds ways to convince the dragon to let him sneak away and have his fun…” Molly’s tail traced up the Gentleman’s leg to tickle his inner thigh.

The Gentleman stroked Molly’s tail, then lightly groped his ass. Molly purred and playfully batted the Gentleman’s hand away. The Gentleman stroked Molly’s back instead. “Sounds like an interesting take on the grey areas of morality,” he said. “Certainly unlike any other play I’ve ever seen.” He turned to smile at Gustav, but did not break contact with Molly. “And such a curiosity belongs in your theatre. It is, as I said, ambitious. You will need the proper funding to fully capture its potential. If we make a few adjustments to our agreement, given this new information, then I would not be opposed to signing our contract tonight.”

Gustav’s eyes grew wide in excitement. Molly cheered and hopped into the Gentleman’s lap. He threw his arms around the Gentleman’s neck. “Thank you!” he exclaimed, kissing him repeatedly on the cheek. “Thank you thank you thank you _thank you!_ ” Then he kissed the Gentleman sensually on the neck and murmured something in his ear that Caleb couldn’t hear. Whatever it was made the Gentleman smirk in a way that turned Caleb’s stomach. The Gentleman wrapped his arm around Molly and groped his ass again. Molly giggled and purred. His tail resumed tickling the Gentleman’s leg.

Beau cleared her throat. “If you guys are signing things tonight, I’d like to be there to negotiate our contracts as well.”

“Yes, yes, fine,” Gustav said without bothering to look at her. He got up and shook the Gentleman’s hand. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this, good sir. Rest assured we will do everything in our power to put your investment to good use. This will be the most spectacular production Zadash has ever seen. We’ll have to rearrange the seating to accommodate a larger audience, and even then the show will be sold out for weeks, I just know it!”

The Gentleman retracted his hand from Gustav’s enthusiastic grip. “We shall see, but with a star like this I imagine the show will be popular.” Molly nuzzled him, purring loudly. The Gentleman took him by the horn and pushed him away so he could get up from his chair. “Shall we, then?”

Gustav, Beau, Molly, and the Gentleman went off to the private section of the theatre. The rest of the Mighty Nein, Yasha included, got a table at the outdoor bar and ordered a round of drinks to celebrate.

“What happened in there?” Fjord asked. “I mean, before we got there. We saw that other guy go in and we didn’t know who he was, then Yasha sat with us and when he came out again she said Molly was supposed to be seducing him or something? We said Molly was meeting _you_ in there and we were all very confused.”

“And when he came back out he didn’t look happy,” Nott said. “Yasha was worried because Molly was supposed to meet with him alone and he probably didn’t like that you were there. Then she told us he’s some kind of crime boss?”

“That’s what I heard,” Yasha said. “He’s in charge of the Myriad activity in Zadash.”

“So when we saw him going back we figured we should come rescue you!” Nott said. “Was he very angry?”

Caleb stared into his glass. “Molly… Molly had to hide me, while he was with the Gentleman. He said that, um… He said that the Gentleman would have me beaten or killed if he found me there.”

Everyone at the table chorused, “ _What?!_ ”

“Just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time?” Caduceus asked. “That doesn’t sound fair.”

Caleb shrugged. “Considering who he is, I take it he prefers his private meetings to be _private_. He might have thought I was a spy or… or something…”

“Well now I’m _very_ glad we came to get you,” Nott said. She patted him on the arm. “Did he see you?”

“ _Ja_ , um, but not the first time…” Caleb explained what had transpired in the Dragon, though he didn’t mention how aroused Molly made him or exactly what Molly was prepared to do with the Gentleman. The others listened with rapt attention. He concluded with, “He saw that Molly was, in fact, injured and that I had tried to help him, and then all of you came in.”

Nott narrowed her eyes. “I don’t like this man.”

“He does not strike me as a pleasant fellow, no,” Caleb said. “But he is funding our show, so…” He raised his glass. “Cheers to that?”

Everyone joined in the toast, though with muted enthusiasm.

“Do we really want someone like _him_ associated with our show?” Fjord asked.

“He was going to be a private donor,” Yasha said. “None of us even know his real name. He won’t promote himself, he’ll probably just ask for a percentage of the profits until he earns his investment back. I don’t think anyone except for the people involved will know where the money came from. Some of the crew don't even know Gustav has been negotiating with him.”

Fjord toyed with a drop of condensation on his glass. “That’s okay then, I guess.”

“Beau is in there,” Nott said. “She knows what she’s doing.”

Yasha suddenly straightened, her eyes on something across the courtyard. Caleb turned to follow her line of sight. Molly was walking over to the Dragon. He had put on a different dressing gown, or perhaps it was some kind of coat. Its embroidery was even more chaotic and ostentatious than the last one, scattered patterns of gold and teal and white on wine-red silk. He briefly glanced in their direction, then hurried over to the Dragon. He vanished up the stairs. A moment later he emerged from the balcony and ascended to the space atop the Dragon’s head.

“Oh,” Yasha said. “Molly only goes up there alone when he needs to think about something.”

Caleb stared up for a moment. Molly’s purple horns were barely visible over the gold of the Dragon’s, especially since the evening was growing late. “Do you think he would mind if I went to speak to him?” he asked Yasha. “I erm, wish to discuss the parts he wanted to add to the script.”

Yasha frowned. “I dunno, you can try. He might be more willing if you brought him a drink.”

“Okay, thank you.” Caleb excused himself from the table. He bought a bottle of wine at the bar, steeled his nerves with a deep breath, and walked over to the Dragon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a bottle of wine and well-spoken poetry is the way into a tiefling's heart (though it helps if you already had a foot in the door beforehand).

Molly sat on the Dragon’s head, looking out over Zadash. The air was still warm, but a few cool breezes ruffled his hair. He thought about everything that had happened that night. Falling from the trapeze was enough to knock him for a loop, but then with all the chaos of Caleb and the Gentleman and this new play, he needed some time to think. He almost went over and asked Yasha to come with him, but that would involve being near Caleb, and either saying hello or ignoring him. Molly didn’t know which would have bothered him more. It would be best if he sorted out his feelings before he had to work closely with either the Gentleman or Caleb.

Caleb was unlike anyone Molly had ever met. Some of the performers and crew at the Cabaret liked poetry, and Jester adored her romance novels, but none of them ever came up with something like the poem Caleb recited for him. It wasn’t even just the words that were beautiful, it was the way Caleb said them. Molly felt the power and passion behind them. They touched Molly deep in his core. He had been stunned. Normally Molly regarded clients as strangers, people he would only know for a night or two long enough to do what they paid him to. He didn’t connect with them. He didn’t admire them beyond superficial attraction. Caleb though…

Molly admired Caleb.

And he knew he shouldn’t.

Molly loved his family in the Cabaret. He would do anything for them. Sometimes that meant taking clients who were willing to pay extra to treat him more roughly. Help was never far if he needed it; Bo or Blude or Yasha hung out in the courtyard during those sessions and he had signals to call for them, but even though he had only had to call for help a few times, Molly put up with a lot even when it scared him. The more he earned, the more he could give to Gustav and the more could be used to provide for everyone. The Gentleman didn’t really scare Molly, but compared to Caleb he was unsettling. Molly prided himself on his ability to read people. He could tell when a client desired him because of his age, or because he was a tiefling, or because they wanted to use him as a plaything. The Gentleman regarded him as a luxury item, something that he would gloat about owning and entertain himself by pushing Molly to the limits of his comfort, in public or in private. Caleb… Caleb saw Molly as a person. He acted more like Gustav or Yasha or Marion, the members of Molly’s family who cared about him and saw beyond his appearance or talent or cocky act. Maybe that was why Molly had purred with him. Molly rarely genuinely purred with clients unless they made an effort to return the pleasure he gave them. Caleb made Molly purr with just his words.

But Caleb was a _writer_ , a poet. Regardless of skill, he couldn’t provide for the Cabaret like the Gentleman could. It was clear which of them Molly had to favor. As nice as Caleb may be, and as much as Molly already liked Caleb more than the Gentleman despite spending about the same amount of time with both, he would have to keep Caleb at an arm’s distance, if not far more than that.

A noise from below caught his attention. Someone was knocking on the Dragon’s door. Molly had locked it to have some privacy. He was still mad at himself for not locking it before. He ignored the knocking. Whoever it was would realize no one was answering and leave.

“Mollymauk?”

Molly sat up. He leaned over the railing. There, on the stairs that climbed the Dragon’s tail, was Caleb. He waved a bottle of wine at Molly. “What are you _doing?_ ” Molly asked just loud enough for Caleb to hear him.

“I was hoping to talk to you?” Caleb lifted the bottle again. “I brought you a drink.”

“You can leave it with Yasha. She’ll take it to my room.”

“Molly, please. It’s important.”

Molly scoffed. His feet itched to take him to the door and unlock it. “If it’s so important you can find your own way up here.”

“And then you’ll talk to me?”

“Sure,” Molly said with a flick of his tail. The door was the only entrance, unless one somehow got onto the balcony, but that was ten feet off the ground. Caleb would try and try and Molly wouldn’t help him at all. No one could say Molly showed any interest in him. There weren’t many people in the courtyard besides crew members and the Mighty Nein — Molly thought this new version of the name sounded better, and he wasn’t surprised when Beau said it was Caleb’s idea — but in case word got back to the Gentleman somehow, they would only say that Molly had remained up in the head and wanted nothing to do with that writer.

Caleb looked around. He slumped his shoulders and walked away. Molly’s tail drooped. He was a little disappointed that Caleb gave up so easily. It was for the best. It wasn’t as though he would never see him again; they were bound to work together frequently on this play. However, part of him still wished he had had a few more minutes alone with Caleb before Gustav and the Gentleman interrupted them.

Shortly thereafter, Molly thought he heard some grunting directly under him. He checked over the railing. Caleb was trying to pull himself up onto the balcony. Yasha and Fjord were giving him a boost by holding onto a leg each.

“Yasha, you traitor!” Molly hissed. Yasha smiled ruefully up at him. Molly groaned and hurried down the Dragon’s neck to help. He braced himself backwards against the balcony’s railing. Gripping it with his legs and tail, he swung back, arms outstretched. It wasn’t the same as being on the trapeze, but at least it was stationary. He grabbed hold of Caleb, and once he was sure Caleb had a good hold on him in return, he pulled them both up. He tried not to take a deep breath of Caleb’s scent or think about Caleb’s warm, strong, _dry_ hands clamoring over him. “Did you at least bring the wine?” Molly asked.

“Er, no, I… I gave it to Yasha, like you said.”

Molly rolled his eyes. He flipped back down and reached out to Yasha. She tossed the bottle to him. It didn’t have far to travel and Molly caught it effortlessly. His abdominal muscles complained when he sat up again. Caleb wasn’t a large man, but it had taken quite the effort to get him over the railing. Molly gritted his teeth and fought the fatigue. Caleb offered him a hand. Molly didn’t want to be sore in the morning, so he took it. He was lightheaded and stumbled in his first steps back on solid ground. Caleb was there to steady him. Molly swallowed a grateful purr.

“Alright, you’re here. It’s a nice night, so we’ll sit outside.” Molly ascended the stairs. By the time he got to the head Caleb was barely halfway up. “Are you afraid of heights?” Molly asked.

“No, just being careful. It’s a very narrow staircase.” It was, but Molly climbed it often enough that that didn’t bother him anymore. Caleb had both his hands on the ropes that stretched between the spines on the Dragon’s neck and acted as a safety measure so it would be harder for someone to fall off. He took one step, then brought the other foot to that same step, then went up another step, and brought his other foot to _that_ step, and so on.

Molly watched him, bottle in hand, seeking flaws he could use to convince himself that Caleb wasn’t worth his attention. He found none. Everything about Caleb that might have looked odd on another person — his red hair, his arched nose, his somewhat scrawny and scruffy appearance — all looked not only natural but remarkably handsome on Caleb, especially with his pretty blue eyes and his smile and the adorable way he had blushed when Molly sat in his lap, the freckles across his nose and cheeks hiding behind the rosy color as though they, too, were shy in his presence. Molly frowned up at the moon. If the Moonweaver couldn’t be merciful enough to make Caleb be the actual Gentleman, why did she have to make it so Molly met both of them on the same night?

Eventually Caleb made it to the top of the stairs. There wasn’t much room for him to sit anywhere but right next to Molly on the bench built into a recess of the Dragon’s skull. He gave Molly some space by pressing himself up against the barrier that was formed from the Dragon’s golden horns and a short wall carved to look like red scales.

“You wanted to talk?” Molly asked dryly.

“Er, yes. Um…” Caleb fiddled with a button on his suit jacket. “First of all, I wanted to apologize again. I did not mean to spoil your evening.”

Molly shrugged. “I mean, technically you didn’t. The Gentleman is our investor now and we’ve already got a play to put on. That whole… _problem_ wasn’t your fault. You can blame whoever told you I was free this evening.”

Caleb shuffled his feet on the floor. “Erm, Nott said she spoke to someone named Bo? Not _our_ Beau, _your_ Bo.”

“Boson,” Molly said. He clicked his tongue. “I’ll have a word with him later.”

“I don’t want him to be in trouble,” Caleb said.

“He’s not, he just needs a reminder that he needs to be careful with his sense of humor. Not always great with sarcasm, that one.” Molly tapped the bottle of wine on his leg. “Anything else or did you go through all this effort just to say you were sorry?”

Caleb toyed with his button again. He hadn’t made eye contact with Molly for more than a few seconds this whole time. “I— Well, I—” He sighed. “Forgive me if I am being presumptuous, but do you _like_ the Gentleman?”

“He’s our investor, of course I like him.”

“I don’t mean that way. I mean the way you’re pretending to. The way you… you…” Caleb made a few vague gestures with his hands, but it was clear what he was trying to convey. “You know…”

Molly sighed. “What do you want me to say? No, I don’t like him? I have no idea what you’re talking about? I’d be willing to marry him tomorrow if he asked me?”

Caleb furrowed his brow. “Would you?”

“ _No_. Gods, no.”

“So you don’t like him?”

Molly slapped his tail on the ground. “I like him _enough_ , let’s put it that way. Why do you ask?”

Caleb avoided eye contact again. “It’s just, erm… When we were alone again, after he left, you were about to say that, um, that even though the Gentleman was not as bad as you feared, you would prefer that…” He shrugged. “And then you were cut off. But what I think you were trying to say was that — and again, forgive me if I am wrong — you erm… you would have been happier if I _were_ the one you were supposed to meet with tonight.”

In all the chaos Molly forgot he had said that. He did remember that he was going to say that he would have liked it if the Gentleman had shown even a fraction of the tenderness Caleb did. “Oh, that. No. I meant that it would have been nice if the Gentleman wooed me with poetry before he tried to force me to my knees.” That came out more bitter than Molly intended, but not as bitter as he actually felt. “Speaking of your poem, as lovely it was, _you_ might have time you can give away for free, but _my_ time has to be bought. This—” Molly indicated the wine, “—has bought you as much time as it takes me to finish the bottle.” He popped the cork. “Starting now.” He took a quick deep swig. It was one of the better wines the bar had to offer, not the best or most expensive, but at least it wasn’t that Baumbauch swill. “Thank you for this, by the way.”

“You are welcome.” Caleb rubbed his forearm. “But you do like me, don’t you?”

Molly took another long drink of wine. “Enough.”

“You were purring.”

“I purred for the Gentleman, too.”

“But that was different.” Caleb shifted in his seat. “I um, I grew up with a cat. She was a very happy cat, plenty of mice for her to catch in our house and she had a bed by the window that got the most sunlight. I spent enough time with her to learn that she had different purrs for different situations, and she didn’t only purr when she was happy. Sometimes she purred when she was upset that someone stepped on her tail, or when she was bored or frustrated. You are smarter than a cat, or at least smarter than most cats. Fjord can change his voice at will, so I’m guessing you can make yourself purr when you want to. I erm, wasn’t in the best place to observe when he first came in, but while you were sitting with him during our discussion, your purrs didn’t sound the same as they did when um… when you were with me.”

Molly was impressed and flattered that Caleb had not only noticed so many little things about him, but that he had remembered them all. However, he was also uncomfortable with how well Caleb could read him. He flicked his tail indignantly. “And you don’t think I was faking with you, too?”

Caleb shook his head. “No. Because when you were purring with me your voice was different, too. It didn’t go as low as that when you were with the Gentleman.”

People had mentioned to Molly before that his voice changed based on what kind of purring he was doing. Usually they were the people Molly worked with the most, like Jester and Ornna and Yasha. Caleb had picked up on it right away.

Molly puffed up his chest. He set the bottle of wine on the floor at his feet. “Well, then,” he said, crossing his arms, “if you think you know what I sound like when I genuinely purr, then let’s prove it shall we?” He settled back into his seat with his legs parted just enough to be inviting. He beckoned with his tail. “Come on, do something you think would make me purr.”

“…Anything?”

“ _Anything_ ,” Molly dared. He wasn’t going to purr at all. Caleb could grab him by the cock and he wouldn’t even get hard. Molly had enough self-control to stifle any reactions he might have to however Caleb touched him. However, that didn’t mean there weren’t places Molly would prefer to be touched. He opened his legs a tiny bit wider.

Caleb’s eyes darted down for a fraction of a second, then examined Molly’s face instead. He reached through one of Molly’s horns to stroke his hair. Molly clenched his jaw and swallowed. It wouldn’t be _that_ easy. Caleb gently rubbed Molly’s head with his fingertips, gradually working his way to Molly’s ear before rubbing that between his thumb and index finger. A shudder rippled from Molly’s core down to his toes and tail tip. He held his breath. If he didn’t breathe, he wouldn’t purr.

Then Caleb cheated. He leaned in, kissed Molly softly on the cheek, and murmured in his ear.

“ _Home of my heart, do not send me away from your sight,_

_For if I could not behold your sweetness I would surely die._

_Your laughter is the air I breathe, your smile the nectar I drink._

_Your touch gives my heart an eagle’s wings so it may fly._

_As surely as the gods made the moon to set and rise_

_In her eternal dance with the ocean’s tides,_

_So, too, was I made to love you, beautiful one,_

_And you were made to love me._ ”

At first Molly thought he felt tingly from the wine going to his head, but he realized he couldn't just _smell_ that warm earthy scent of Caleb’s, he could _taste_ it too. He was panting, and worst of all he was purring. “Well that was hardly fair,” he growled.

“Why? You said I could do anything.”

“I meant you could _touch_ me any way you wanted,” Molly said, whipping his tail against his ankle in frustration. “I didn’t think you would… _you know_.”

“I _am_ touching you the way I want to,” Caleb pointed out. He rubbed Molly’s ear again, eliciting a louder purr. He chuckled. “It seems it’s the way you want me to touch you, as well.”

Molly snatched up the bottle of wine and chugged several gulps. It alleviated his throat for only a moment, before he thought about this latest poem and it got him purring all over again. He coughed. “Was that poem from the play?”

“ _Nein,_ it is a er… an ancient Marquesian poem, one of the oldest we have written records of. We don’t know who wrote it, and I only know the Common translation which probably isn’t as good as the original since they had to try to make it fit the popular rhyming scheme of the time even after it was translated but um… it… it’s one of my favorites.” Caleb let go of Molly’s ear. A whimper of need mingled with one of Molly’s purrs. Caleb put both his hands in his lap. “I guess I like the notion that, even after the world has long forgotten your name, you could make something that people will cherish for centuries.”

Somehow it had never occurred to Molly that most of the books that existed were written by people who were already dead. He didn’t read much, having never been adept at reading in the first place, so to him books were just stories. The stories had to come from somewhere, obviously, and whoever first told them most likely wouldn’t live to hear it told for the last time. Yet those stories were in the world because one person came up with them, or perhaps it was a group effort the way the story of this play had been. Molly admired Caleb even more, because as much of an impact as Molly tried to have and as many people as he tried to help or at least improve their day, if Caleb did become a famous writer then his words would live on after they were both bones and dust underground.

Molly wrapped his tail around Caleb’s ankle. “It’s a very nice poem,” he said. He hadn’t stopped purring, but he didn’t care anymore. He lost the dare, and he intended to be gracious about it. “I liked the one you told me earlier better, though.”

Caleb smiled. He turned his head to look Molly in the eye. The lights from the courtyard below twinkled in his deep blue eyes like stars come down from the night sky. “You can hear it, though, can’t you? Your voice is _definitely_ different from the way it was when you purred for the Gentleman.”

Molly winced. He didn’t want to think about the Gentleman right now, not when he was with someone so much kinder and more talented and tender and pretty. Molly drank more wine. He was definitely on his way to being drunk, but he earned it after today. “Maybe,” is all he said.

His side felt warmer. Caleb had scooted closer to him. He touched Molly gently on the leg above his knee, not as though he thought Molly were fragile or wanted to tease him. It was a curious touch, an inquisitive touch. Molly put his hand over Caleb’s to confirm that yes, he did want to be touched there. Caleb dug his fingers in a bit more firmly. He smiled at Molly. Molly smiled back and rubbed his thumb along Caleb’s wrist. He deserved this too.

Except he couldn’t have it. “Don’t get any funny ideas,” Molly said.

“What sort of ideas?”

“You know what I mean.” Molly knocked back a sip of wine then put the bottle down. “The kind where you and I…” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, there’s one thing I don’t think you’ve quite grasped.”

“Which is?”

“That you can’t afford me.” Molly took his hand off Caleb’s to gesture to Caleb’s suit. If Caleb was going to analyze Molly’s little details, then Molly was going to do the same thing to him. “That doesn’t fit you. If you had the money to buy a night with me you would have enough money for your own proper suit.”

Caleb smoothed a few wrinkles in his jacket and adjusted his waistcoat. “This _is_ my suit. I simply…haven’t worn it in a while.”

Molly cocked one eyebrow at him. “Then you _used_ to have money but somehow lost it or were cast out of high society. Let me guess, you’re hoping that by writing this play you’ll regain enough fame or recognition to work your way back up from rock bottom?”

“…Something like that.” A cloud of sorrow passed over Caleb’s face. Molly’s heart ached as though someone had punched him in the chest. “But why should I have to buy a night with you anyway? Can’t we just sit here together like this? Talking? I don’t think that’s the sort of thing that you um… that clients normally pay for.”

“It’s not.”

“And you enjoy my company.”

Molly cleared his throat. He had managed to stop purring, but barely. “You could say that.” He _was_ enjoying this. The problem was that he enjoyed it too much. He wanted more. He wanted to take Caleb downstairs and let Caleb do unspeakable things to him. He wanted Caleb to hold him afterward and tell him more poems. He wanted to have fun with someone who fascinated him and frustrated him at the same time in ways that made Molly happier than he ever was with his clients. “I might,” he said, leaning harder into Caleb’s shoulder. He couldn’t take his eyes off Caleb’s lips. What did poetry taste like?

“Then can’t love be enough of a reason for us to be together?”

The fantasies in Molly’s head came to a sudden halt. “Wait, love?”

“Yes, love.”

“What love?”

Caleb frowned. There was a crease of worry between his brows. “O-Ours? B-Because I’m falling in love with you and I’m… I’m hoping you feel somewhat similar?”

“When did either of us say anything about _love?_ ”

“I— I thought— But you—” Caleb’s cheeks flushed deep red. “You said you were attracted to me…”

“… _When?_ ”

“When… Before the Gentleman came and…” Caleb’s face fell. “Oh. You only said that because you thought you were supposed to get me to invest in the Cabaret, didn’t you?”

Molly had completely forgotten about that too. Oddly enough, he had been completely honest. Caleb couldn’t know that, though. “I mean, you’re cute, and if you and I were not in our current situations then _maybe_ I would consider you, but as it stands you can’t buy my time with _love_. The bottle of wine was a good start, but unfortunately, if you can’t pay, then there’s no way.”

Caleb looked heartbreakingly disappointed. “Why?”

“Because that’s how this works.” Molly wrinkled his nose. “A least, that’s how it used to work. With all the contracts signed I’m… I’m not going to be taking clients anymore.”

“Oh? Because with the Gentleman’s investment you don’t have to anymore?”

Molly curled his lip. “Something like that. You heard the Gentleman say he wanted _'exclusivity'_ , right? Gustav _,_ um… In order to get the Gentleman’s interest in being our investor, Gustav had to make certain… _promises_. Promises that involved me and my services. And since we’re going to need even _more_ money, one of those promises changed from him getting top priority when I scheduled clients to being my _only_ client.” He shrugged. “So now, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my rehearsing or performing schedules, I am… to make myself available for him whenever he asks for me.”

Caleb jaw hung open in surprise and horror. “You mean Gustav used you as a _bargaining chip?_ ”

Molly frowned. “More of an incentive. If the Gentleman treated us well, we’d treat him well, and after talking to him a few times Gustav decided I was the best one for that job. Gentleman’s got a thing for tieflings, it seems. Apparently he and Marion had a fling once upon a time, but that turned sour and Gustav didn’t want to put her through that again, and Jester doesn’t…take clients.” Molly chuckled. “Even though she’s got the dirtiest mind in the Cabaret, she prefers her romance novels to actually hooking up with people. It’d break her heart to find out all that stuff is just fiction.”

“What stuff?” Caleb asked.

“You know, that love at first sight, saving each other from certain doom with the power of their bond, riding off into the sunset together at the end, hyped up romance stuff.”

“Do you not believe in love at all, Mister Mollymauk?”

“I wouldn’t say that, Mister Caleb,” Molly replied with a smile. “I love my family very much. I’m aware that when you love people you’re willing to do some stupid things to make sure they’re alright. The problem is that Jester would try to fall in love with her clients like she was some fictional heroine awaiting her one true love to find her and give her a different kind of happy ending. I can tell you right now that ninety-nine out of a hundred of the people who pay for sex, especially sex from _us_ , are the furthest things you can get from a dashing romantic hero.”

Something sad shone in Caleb’s eyes. “I take it you have never been in love, then.”

“Nah,” Molly said. He leaned back in his seat so he wouldn’t have to see that sadness directed at him. He drank a little more wine. “I’ve had crushes and I’ve flirted more earnestly with some people, but nothing like the characters in Jester’s books, not even close, I don’t think. This is not the job you take when you want something like that.”

Caleb went quiet for a moment. “I realize some people go their whole lives without falling in love even though they still have meaningful relationships, but don’t you at least want to try?”

Molly shrugged. “What would be the point? It’s not like I could ever be faithful, and people get jealous.”

“You could still _try_. Living your whole life believing you can never find love… What a terrible life that would be.”

Molly snorted a soft laugh. “And you’re saying that the greatest thing you could ever do is love someone and have them love you back? I _do_ have people that I love, just not the way you’re talking about.” He shook his head. The charms on his horns clinked like tiny bells. “That kind of love overcomplicates things. I’m better off without it.”

“…I am very sorry that you feel that way.”

Molly tucked his tail up to his waist. Caleb shouldn’t feel sorry for him; he had a wonderful family, he was the star of the Cabaret, and it wasn’t as though he was forced to take clients in the past. Gustav hadn’t even let him accept those offers until he was old enough, despite patrons showing interest in him shortly after he became a regular part of the show. Molly appreciated Gustav looking out for him, and he accepted the Gentleman’s terms because Gustav worked so hard to get this contract and it was the Cabaret’s best option to move forward. It didn’t matter that the Gentleman wasn’t the kind of person Molly wanted to belong to, he couldn’t be selfish when this was going to help the people he cared about.

And yet, maybe it was the wine getting to him, but Molly’s stomach felt sour and his heart ached. Caleb said he was falling in love with him. It wasn’t the first time someone declared love for Molly, far from it. People threw themselves at him after shows or when they saw him on the streets to tell him they loved him and wanted him. But Caleb sounded like he meant it. Every other stranger had a shallow love for Molly, enamored with his talent or his beauty. Caleb saw things in Molly that others didn’t, and he loved him anyway. Molly wondered if that pit he felt in his chest was a sense of loss for the kind of affair they would have had together were it not for the Gentleman. Maybe there would have been more nights like this, nights without the pressure to perform sexually, filled with intimacy and poetry. The thought made Molly purr, but it was a melancholy self-soothing purr. He drank more wine to smother it before Caleb heard.

Whether Caleb heard or not, he made no comment on it. He stared at the ground for a moment, then stood. Molly nearly reached out to stop him. “Well, erm, Mister Mollymauk, I think it’s time I returned to the others. Unless you had anything you wanted to discuss while I was here, I’ve said what I came to say.” He bowed politely. “Have a good night, Molly.”

“Wait.” For what, Molly didn’t know, he just felt compelled to say it. But Caleb stopped, one hand on the railing. Molly lifted the bottle of wine. “I’m not finished,” he said. “That means you don’t have to go yet.”

“…Do you want me to stay?”

Molly didn’t answer.

“Was there something you wanted to tell me?”

Molly purred sadly to himself.

Caleb sat back down on the bench. He rested his hand on his knee, palm up. Molly wove his tail through Caleb’s fingers and around his wrist and caressed Caleb’s palm with the tip. “Molly, are you okay?”

Molly was drunk. He shouldn’t have chugged the wine, but he had and it was all hitting him in a wave. Exhaustion tugged at his limbs and eyelids. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to keep talking to Caleb. He wanted to kiss Caleb. Caleb shouldn’t get any notions that Molly was anything more than fond of him. He looked so kissable though.

“…Caleb?”

“ _Ja?_ ”

“…Do you know any other poems?”

“Er, _ja_ , I know several.”

“…Any that you wrote? Like from the play?”

“ _Na ja_ , I don’t know how many of the ones I already wrote will work for this new play, but I remember a few.”

Molly nuzzled his tail into Caleb’s palm. “Can I hear one, please?”

Caleb smiled. He put his other hand over Molly’s tail. “ _Ja_ , if that’s what you want.”

“And um… this might be an odd request, but I’m really tired. Can I rest my head on you while I listen?”

“That’s fine.”

“Thank you.” Molly didn’t have his knitted horn caps, and without them he would likely jab Caleb if he leaned on him the wrong way. There wasn’t a lot of space on the bench, but there was enough for Molly to lie on his back with his head in Caleb’s lap if he propped his legs up on the railing. He clumsily shifted himself into position, accidentally jabbing Caleb with his horns a few times anyway.

Caleb never complained. He scooted over as far as he could to give Molly more room. “Are you comfortable?” he asked once Molly had settled.

“Mhm.”

“Okay.” With one arm up on the railing and the other draped lightly against Molly’s side, Caleb cleared his throat and began.

“ _I will sing you a meadow of flowers,_

_From crystal stream to shady bowers,_

_To summon Melora’s blessing here_

_And brighten our weary hours…_ ”

Molly tried to pay attention. He enjoyed the sound of Caleb’s voice, so warm and so calming, but he was beyond tired. Every few lines he slipped into sleep then awoke to a new part of the poem. Occasionally he couldn’t even hear Caleb because he was purring too loudly. Someday he would need to ask Caleb to recite this one again. He didn’t dare interrupt this time.

Warmth on his cheek pulled him out of sleep once more. Caleb’s hand cupped his face, his thumb brushing tenderly under Molly’s eye. “Molly?” he said softly. “They’re closing the courtyard. I have to go.”

“Hmmm? Already?” Molly stretched, but didn’t lift his head from Caleb’s lap. “How long have we been up here?”

“Well um… I am not sure exactly when you feel asleep, but it has been almost an hour.”

Molly opened his eyes. Caleb was there above him, around him, his face framed by red hair against a backdrop of stars. He was beautiful. Molly frowned “An hour?”

“I think so, _ja._ ”

“You’ve been sitting here for an hour?”

Caleb shrugged. “It is nice up here, and the night is fairly temperate.” The corner of his mouth twitched in a smile. “Besides, you needed the rest. You have had quite a day.”

Molly dropped his legs down from the railing and hauled himself into a seated position. His muscles were a little sore and stiff, but mostly he was cold without Caleb. “You didn’t have to sit here the whole time.”

“I wanted to.” Caleb’s smile turned sad. “If this is the only time I can be with you like this, then…” He shook his head. “But you are right. Even if it weren’t for your, erm… _partnership_ with the Gentleman, I am not the sort of person who you would normally choose. Beau said you wouldn’t even speak to me tonight unless you thought I was rich.”

“Beau is an arsehole,” Molly grumbled.

“But it’s true, isn’t it? If you had walked into that room tonight and seen me dressed in my usual clothes, you wouldn’t have mistaken me for the Gentleman. You would have had me thrown out.”

“No. Maybe. I guess.” Molly might have been confused to find a random man in the Dragon, but one look into Caleb’s eyes would have given him pause. Maybe he would have even flirted with Caleb a little before sending him on his way, stolen a kiss or a feel of his ass or something as a souvenir. “I’m glad I didn’t.”

“I am, too. It was a pleasure to meet you.” Caleb stood and stretched his arms over his head with a low groan. “Perhaps we will see more of each other as this play comes together.”

“Hmm.” Through the haze of wine Molly felt a pang stab him through the heart. They should have had more time together. He fumbled through his memory to think of that line from the first poem, something about harnessing the past and future so the present would last longer. Gods, if only it were possible.

Caleb gestured to the bottle. “Don’t you need to finish that?” he asked.

Molly picked it up. There were still a few mouthfuls left. He pulled the stopper from his pocket and resealed it. “No, I’ll save it for later. I’m not done yet.” He hoped Caleb would understand what he was trying to say. Caleb was smart, Molly had faith in him.

Getting down the stairs was an adventure. The combination of drowsiness and drunkenness left Molly less than steady on his feet. Caleb patiently helped him descend, even though the others shouted up to him that they needed to get going. He led Molly to the bed, then went to the door. Molly whimpered. He didn’t want Caleb to leave without saying goodbye.

But Caleb came back, and he brought Yasha with him. She had Molly climb onto her back so she could carry him the way she normally did when he was too drunk to make it back to his room alone. Caleb stayed until they were all back in the courtyard. He patted Molly lightly on the back.

“Sleep well, Mollymauk,” he said.

“Molly,” Molly mumbled. “You c’n juss call me Molly.”

Caleb chuckled. “Then _gute Nacht_ , Molly.”

Yasha took Molly inside. She made sure he at least brushed his teeth so he wouldn’t wake up with a sour mouth. When she tried leave after putting him in bed, Molly pouted and flung his arms around her with a soft whine.

“Don’ go.”

Yasha patted him on the head. “Let me at least take my boots off.”

Molly allowed it, but not for long. He draped himself across her back while she undid her laces. After the evening he had had, he needed physical affection. Caleb had been so nice to him, a hundred or even a thousand times nicer than the Gentleman had been, but Yasha was his best friend and as such was a suitable substitute.

The two of them snuggled up in their usual way. Yasha had put Molly’s soft lilac-colored horn caps on him, so he was able to mush his face into her side while she had her arm around his shoulders. He had had one foot in unconsciousness for the past ten minutes and he was looking forward to fully surrendering to it, especially since he wouldn’t be sleeping alone.

“Good night, Molly,” Yasha said.

As his mind tumbled into cozy darkness, Molly murmured back, “G’night, Cal’b.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of a relationship based on freedom, beauty, truth, and love.

Caleb struggled to fall asleep that night. The time he had had to think while Molly rested gave him some clarity on his situation. In the space of forty-eight hours he arrived in a city he had never visited before, met a theatre troupe, started writing a play, went to the Cabaret while under the effect of some sort of intoxicant, was mistaken for a crime lord and subsequently seduced by the most beautiful person he had ever met, had to hide under a sheet while that person seduced the _actual_ crime lord only a few feet away, started writing a different play through adlib which the Cabaret then agreed to produce, and had declared his love for Molly only to find out that Molly essentially belonged to the Gentleman now.

If Ikithon knew even a fraction of this, he would disown Caleb all over again.

Morning came after disjointed dreams of Molly leaping through the air and dim figures shuffling aimlessly through long hallways and the Mighty Nein handing Caleb cup after cup of unknown substances that he compulsively drank. Caleb awoke exhausted and heartsick. Molly wasn’t his responsibility, that’s what he had told himself while Molly slept so peacefully in his lap. But it was pointless to pretend he didn’t have feelings for Molly. If he hadn’t had any after watching Molly perform, they would have certainly rooted and blossomed from Molly’s purrs rumbling in his leg and from examining his beauty that close. Caleb studied every detail, treasuring them in his impeccable memory, down to the intricate swirls of embroidery on his coat. He meant to ask Molly if he stitched it himself. Something about Molly suggested he was good with his hands.

Caleb stayed in bed a while longer. His stomach growled, but he had no appetite. Beau told him that Gustav wanted to meet with him for lunch and discuss the script. That meant Caleb needed to write down an outline at the very least sometime this morning. He didn’t want to think about the play. If it weren’t for the play then the Gentleman wouldn’t have changed the contract to include exclusive rights to Molly. Caleb rolled over and pulled his sheet over his head.

Eventually the relative silence of his room was disturbed by Nott’s voice. “Caleb? Caleb are you awake?” It was coming from the hole in his ceiling. He made a mental note to talk to someone about getting that fixed. He pulled the sheet tighter around him. “Caleb, if you’re awake, we were all going to go out for breakfast. We would really like it if you came with us.” Caleb remained still and quiet. A moment passed before Nott spoke again. “Okay, um… we’re leaving soon-ish. We would wait for you if you want time to get dressed.” She paused for a response that didn’t come. “See you when we get back, then.”

It took another half hour for Caleb to drag himself out of bed, and that was only because he needed to relieve himself. Once he had done so, his stomach resumed its growling with renewed impatience. He dressed himself enough to be presentable, then traipsed downstairs for a simple breakfast of oatmeal with honey. The rest of the morning he spent in front of his typewriter, carefully organizing what he remembered of the plot they had all come up with into a proper synopsis and handwriting some newer ideas of his in the margins.

The Mighty Nein returned and Beau poked her head through the ceiling. “Did you at least eat?” she asked with no greeting.

Caleb didn’t look up from his typewriter. “ _Ja_. I ate downstairs.”

“You workin’?”

“ _Ja._ ”

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it. I’m guessing this means you remember you have a meeting at one?”

“ _Ja_ , I remember.”

“Alright. Just checking. …Are you okay?”

Caleb stopped typing to face her. “I am fine, Beauregard. Thank you.” Then he went back to work. He needed to concentrate, and it was already hard enough with the image of Molly in the back of his mind, resting on his lap, gold-painted eyes shut and his lips parted just a little while he slept and purred and Caleb fell deeper in love with him.

Occasionally Caleb thought of a poem Molly might like or his mind wandered and crafted a new one for him. They filled his mind to the point where he couldn’t think of anything else, so he took some extra sheets of paper and wrote them down. Ten minutes before the time he told himself he should leave he went downstairs to inquire after an envelope. The innkeeper managed to find one for him without delaying him too long. Caleb folded the poems, tucked them into the envelope, and wrote “For Molly” on the outside. He put that with the rest of his papers and walked to the Cabaret.

Caleb went over what he was going to say to Gustav while he walked. He had to be professional, but part of him was still angry that Gustav had bartered a living person in exchange for financing. Even though Molly said Gustav cleared this with him first that didn’t make it right. The Gentleman was an _Arschloch_ , and the way he treated Molly the night before made Caleb’s stomach churn in rage. However, Caleb knew he was a weak man, only recently picking up the pieces of a broken spirit and left frail by years of suffering. Even if the Gentleman did not have nearly every criminal of Zadash at his disposal, Caleb didn’t stand a chance in a fight against him. All Caleb could do was write this play and hope it earned the Cabaret enough money that they wouldn’t need that _Wichser_ anymore.

Someone was there to let him in. The Cabaret’s doors didn’t officially open until a few hours before showtime, so Beau had instructed him to go to the crew entrance in the back. A sharply dressed half-orc greeted him. “He said he wanted to meet you in the courtyard since it’s such a nice day. Follow me.”

The half-orc introduced himself as Boson, or Bo. He led Caleb down a few corridors that smelled of musty fabrics and thick paints and various perfumes. They passed several people who were going about their work for the day, several of whom paused or turned their heads to get a look at the stranger in their midst. Caleb kept his eyes on Bo’s back so he wouldn’t accidentally make eye contact with any of them.

They reached a door that opened into the courtyard. It was indeed a nice day. A few sparse clouds drifted across a vivid summer sky. The Dragon was no less intimidating in the daytime. Its eyes still followed Caleb without moving. The opening that led onto the balcony was covered by red and gold curtains. Caleb wondered if Molly had slept well the night before, or if he, too, had lain awake dreading the consequences of his decisions.

Caleb sat at one of the courtyard’s tables. The bar wasn’t open yet. The air in the courtyard was warm and dry enough to make Caleb wish for a drink. His current clothing was lighter than the suit he wore last night, simple but clean, a dark brown waistcoat over his collared shirt with no jacket. The direct sunlight stirred sweat that dripped down his back, or perhaps that was caused by his nerves.

A door opened, but it was neither the door to the theatre nor the door Caleb had come from. He recognized the sound. He turned his head to face the Dragon. Molly walked down the stairs on its tail. It was almost strange to see him in what Caleb considered "normal" clothing. He was wearing slacks and a button-up shirt similar to Caleb's, though he had more of his chest exposed. There was no make-up or fancy robe or even jewelry beyond basic studs and bands adorning him, and yet he still walked with a presence that made him radiant. He came right over to Caleb, but didn’t sit down.

“Good day to you, Mister Caleb,” he said, arms crossed.

Caleb’s heart fluttered and sank. “A good day to you, Mister Mollymauk. I am… Er, I am here to speak to Herr Fletching.”

Molly flicked his tail over the cobblestones of the courtyard. His face was unreadable. “Actually, you’re here to speak to me. Since we’re going to be putting on such a large production, the theatre requires some renovations, and as the manager of the theatre Gustav is making rounds with Desmond to decide exactly what those renovations are. But, since I know everyone who works here and their talents and capabilities, he sent me in his stead to inform you of who should have what parts and what parts you should write for whom.”

“Oh. Erm, _ja_ , we can do that. Would you like to sit down?”

Molly shrugged. “It gets pretty breezy out here. Wouldn’t want your papers to fly away. Why don’t we head inside?”

Caleb nodded, gathering his things. He hid the envelope for Molly at the bottom of the stack. He followed Molly into the Dragon. A platter of grapes and cheese and crackers sat on the table between the two sofa chairs as well as the pitcher of water that had been here the night before. Molly stood in front of the chair the Gentleman had used and gestured for Caleb to take the other one. Once they were both seated Molly nudged the platter an inch closer to Caleb.

“Help yourself. Gustav said this was going to be a lunch meeting but the bar isn’t open for another few hours. Unless you wanted to go somewhere else, this was the best I could do.”

“No, this is fine. Thank you, Mollymauk.” Caleb plucked a purple grape from its cluster. It was sweet and juicy and made him realize how hungry he was. In an effort to not come off as gluttonous, Caleb simply ate one more then put his stack of papers on the table next to the platter. “Well, I’ve brought what we have so far, in addition to a few ideas I had this morning. Feel free to look them over, if you would like.”

Molly’s tail curled and uncurled. “I’m not a strong reader, actually. Why don’t you just tell me what they say, unless you want to sit here and wait a few hours while I go through them?”

Caleb didn’t like the tone of Molly’s voice. It wasn’t harsh, or disdainful, or anything at all. That was what bothered him. Even if Molly were being strictly professional he should sound interested or bored or judgmental or even impatient for Caleb to hurry up and get this over with. Instead there was nothing. Caleb wilted in his chair. “O— Okay then…”

They spent the next half hour looking over Caleb’s synopsis and the few pages of script he had. Molly listed who would be best to include in the dragon’s pageant so they could have an impressive display without that scene taking as long as a normal Cabaret show. Molly frequently stared at Caleb. Stared or glared, Caleb couldn’t tell which. Looking into those red eyes for too long made Caleb uncomfortably warm.

“What’s that?” Molly asked when they were on the last page of Caleb’s notes. He pointed to indicate the outline of the envelope through the paper.

“Oh, er um…” Whether Molly disliked him for what happened last night or not, Caleb wanted him to have the poems. However, the benefit of giving the envelope to Gustav to pass to Molly was not having to watch Molly’s reaction to it in case he rejected the gift. At least rejection was a reaction. Molly’s tone had remained almost perfectly flat this whole time, with the exception of mild excitement when he talked about the other performers. Caleb slid the envelope out from under the page. “It’s for you. B-But erm, if you— if you do not like to read, perhaps you will not like them.”

Molly blinked. A muscle twitched at the corner of his mouth. “Why? What is it?”

Caleb opened it and unfolded the paper inside. “A few poems I thought you would like. You um… I do not know if you remember much of the end of our conversation last night; you were fairly drunk. You asked me if I could recite any poetry for you, though, and…” Caleb swallowed. A jolt of affection pulsed through his heart at the memory. He was getting uncomfortably warm again. “Well, all three poems that I told you yesterday made you purr, so I figured you must like poetry a lot. But… er… if I am mistaken, then I can take these back, reuse the paper.”

An emotion flashed through Molly’s eyes. Their flat red color made it hard to tell what that emotion was, but far easier to interpret was the sudden swish of his tail. It was neither anger nor frustration at Caleb’s assumption, nor was it mere intrigue. It reminded Caleb of his childhood cat when she saw a bird in the yard through the window.

Molly picked up one of the poems. He stared at it in silence, but his lips moved slowly and subtly as he read. It wasn’t a long poem, just one from a Xhorhasian poet about the stillness and peace of the night. Caleb had thought about it while Molly rested in his lap, watching the stars twinkle above him. Molly’s nose wrinkled and his lips curled into a pout.

“Do you not like it?” Caleb asked.

“No, I do. It’s just…” Molly sighed. “Forgive me if this is an odd statement, but poetry sounds better when you say it.”

The inflection on “you” meant Molly was talking specifically about Caleb. “Me?”

Molly put the poem back with the others. “Yeah. Maybe it’s your accent, I dunno. It is a nice poem. I’m sure they all are. Thank you.” His shoulders drooped. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“…For what?”

“I’ve been very rude to you this whole time.”

Caleb shook his head. “No you haven’t. You provided food and drinks, you let me speak uninterrupted, and… and frankly the fact that you’re speaking to me at all is a relief.”

“Is it?” Another emotion appeared then vanished in Molly’s face. His tail gave him away once again; it lay slack on the floor then coiled in on itself.

“Yes. I realize that, erm, declaring my love for you the same night that we met must have put you in an awkward spot. I feared you would avoid me after that. And… And you told me I didn’t have to apologize for what happened with the Gentleman, but you must admit I am partly responsible for it. I thought… I thought if you had time to think about it today you would be more upset with me for it.” Some of the bile Caleb felt towards Gustav boiled to the surface. “After all, if it weren’t for this play, Gustav wouldn’t have had to sell you like a prized piece of livestock.”

Molly blinked in surprise. “Gustav doesn’t think of me that way,” he said. “ _I_ made the final decision to agree to those terms. I’m doing my part, like I always have. While its true that the Gentleman…er…somewhat owns me now, sort of, it’s only when I have time for him. I can choose to let it be that time or make an excuse not to go. Though, if I make excuses too many times he’ll get suspicious, so I have to choose wisely.”

Caleb did not expect that answer. “Then…you… you are going to defy your contract?”

“Eh, not defy it, more explore the furthest boundaries of it. Like in the play, the way Lucien comes up with excuses to leave the dragon’s cave to go foraging or get some fresh air when really he’s sneaking off to plot with Trav, except I’m sneaking off to do whatever the fuck I want that _doesn’t_ include that smarmy moist git.” Molly chuckled. “I trust you won’t tell him I said that?”

“No! No, of course not. I-I do not want you to be in trouble, and I don’t want your theatre to lose its funding.”

“Neither do I, which is why I intend to play it smart.” Molly tapped the stack of notes with one fingernail. “In fact, I need to thank you for this. Once rehearsals start up I’m going to have _loads_ of excuses to not meet up with the Gentleman.” He smiled. It was so good to see him smile again. “As I said, I was being rude before, and I really shouldn’t have been. Yes, you did kind of blatantly tell me you were falling in love with me — and you’re not the first — but I’m not offended. Far from it. Frankly I’m flattered. I didn’t want you to think I returned those feelings or rejected them, so I tried to be as neutral as possible and it came off…well…cold, in a very dickish way. For that, _I_ am sorry.”

Caleb smiled. “I understand,” he said. “I did not think you were being, er, _dickish_ , but your, uhm, demeanor did have me concerned.”

Molly swatted his tail on the floor. “This whole thing could have gone so much better, couldn’t it?” He grinned. “Should we just start over?”

“Uh… how so?”

“We pretend our meeting hasn’t happened yet, and we do it all from the beginning, only this time I won’t be an arsehole and you won’t be so nervous. Deal?”

Caleb chuckled. “Alright then. Let’s start over.”

“Great!” Molly leapt from his chair and headed for the door. “Now get up and stand there like you’ve been waiting here for me.”

Caleb did so. Molly opened the door, then shut it behind him as though he has just walked in.

“Oh! You’re already here! Mister Caleb Widogast, I presume?”

“You presume correctly,” Caleb said. He bowed graciously. “May I presume that you are Mister Mollymauk Tealeaf?”

“You may,” Molly said with a grin. He walked over, shook Caleb’s hand, and gestured to the sofa chairs. “Please, have a seat. Help yourself to some fruit.”

“Thank you.” Caleb sat down in the chair he had been in before. He twisted one of the last grapes from its stem and ate it.

Molly elegantly took his own seat. “I understand you’ve come all the way from Rexxentrum?”

“Ja, that is correct.”

“Really?” Molly curled his tail with an intrigued smile. “I’ve never been to the capital. What’s it like?”

Caleb shrugged. “Much like it is here, perhaps a little busier, a little colder.”

Molly nodded. “Yes, it is a ways further north, isn’t it? Where are you staying?”

This was like every other polite conversation Caleb had endured in school, albeit it was always someone older asking the questions and he guessed that Molly had to be at least four or five years younger than he was. Still, the similarity made him uncomfortable. “Oh I am renting a room at the Leaky Tap.”

“Oh well that’s not too far from here at all,” Molly said. His grin widened. “That’s convenient. And how long do you intend to stay in Zadash?”

“Erm, for the foreseeable future. Though I hopefully won’t be living in the Leaky Tap the whole time.”

Molly nodded. “Yes, I can imagine it doesn’t feel much like a home there, does it?”

“Not really, I suppose.”

“Well I’m sure as your career progresses you’ll save up enough to get a little house of your own here. Speaking of which, let’s see if we can’t do something with this play of yours and help you get on your way?”

Caleb tidied the papers on the table between them back into neater stacks. “Are we going to do all of this again as well?” he asked.

“I don’t think we need to,” Molly replied. “But let me redo this part…” He took the envelope with his name on it and held it up, eyes wide and mouth agape. “You wrote these all up for me? That is very thoughtful of you.” He smiled warmly at Caleb with a brief yet heavy purr. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome,” Caleb said, returning the smile. “I am glad you like them.”

Molly nodded. “I do, and I like everything else we’ve talked about today.” He stood up from his chair. Caleb did the same. “Wonderful work, Mister Caleb,” Molly said. “I will most certainly pass this along to Gustav and tell him that I think we’ve found the perfect play to kick off our new program.” He offered his hand for another handshake.

Caleb accepted. “Thank you very much, Mister Mollymauk. I am glad you like it.”

Molly smiled. He took a step back to bow and kiss Caleb’s hand. “It was a pleasure,” he said.

Caleb arched one eyebrow and chuckled softly. “Do you end all your business meetings like that?”

“Only the ones that went well.” Molly’s smile faltered. He didn’t let go of Caleb’s hand. Not that Caleb minded, but the tone of Molly’s demeanor had noticeably changed again. “Caleb, I lied. Gustav didn’t send me, I asked to come instead of him. I wanted to know if what I felt last night was from… from whatever last night was or if I actually… _felt_ something. And…” He sighed and lowered his head to ruffle his hair. “Fuck me, I _feel_ something.” Putting out one hand he hastily added, “I wouldn’t call it love, I don’t think, but you’re very sweet and handsome and to be honest I could listen to you recite poetry all day, but considering we just met last night I’m going to label this as extreme fondness for now.” His face fell. “One thing I know for sure is that I like you far _far_ more than I like the Gentleman. I wish I hadn’t agreed to that bloody amendment to the contract, but I get the feeling that even if I hadn’t the Gentleman would find a way to prevent me from seeing anyone else regardless. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, but I… I like the way you make me feel, and I… don’t want your feelings for me to… to be pointless.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and growled. “I have no idea how to say this, I’m so much better at expressing myself physically but you said you didn’t want that.”

Caleb reached out to delicately lay a hand on Molly’s arm. “I said I didn’t want the same thing your clients want. I’ve…had a rough history with relationships, and… I guess you could say certain things have left me skittish about rushing into anything too physical too quickly. But if there is another way you think you can tell me what you need to say, I am willing to listen.”

Molly swished his tail sheepishly. “Even if it’s…intimate?”

“ _Ja_ , even then.”

Molly took a deep breath and stepped into Caleb’s personal space. Familiar stabbing prickles of anxiety spread out from Caleb's chest to his extremities. Angry voices in his head told him what he was doing was shameful, wrong, disgusting, but he swallowed and tried to shove them into the dark corners of his mind where he preferred to keep them. His attention was on Molly. Molly cupped his hand around the back of Caleb’s neck, lightly massaging his fingers into the base of Caleb’s hair. Caleb closed his eyes and tilted his head with an approving hum, despite the fact that he had to suppress a flinch first as he anticipated pain. The air took on a subtle electricity then warm lips tenderly pressed into the hollow of his throat. He moaned softly. Molly kissed him a little more firmly. Caleb put one hand on Molly’s waist. Molly coiled his tail around Caleb’s ankle. He placed his other hand on Caleb’s chest.

Caleb listened. In Molly’s touch he heard fondness, yearning, hesitation, desire. The hand on his chest connected them, but it put Molly in a position to push him away if he wanted to. From the way Molly’s fingers curled to grasp Caleb’s shirt Caleb guessed he wasn’t going to do that yet. The slow rubbing on the back of his head suggested familiarity, albeit with more curiosity. Caleb hummed again to let Molly know he heard him.

Then Molly kissed inch by inch along Caleb’s jaw until he found Caleb’s mouth. Caleb put his other hand on the small of Molly’s back. Molly kissed and touched him with fading shyness. No doubt he had kissed dozens if not hundreds of people before, but Caleb wondered how many of them actually loved him. Based on Molly’s opinion of love, probably only a handful, or maybe none at all. Caleb kissed Molly back to tell him that _he_ loved him, and though it was a new and sudden kind of love, that didn’t make it any less true.

Molly wrapped both arms around Caleb, the hand on the back of Caleb’s head pulling him closer. He grew more confident by the second. Caleb deferred to Molly’s expertise, but continued to touch and respond to Molly’s touch. His heart was full of so many things to tell Molly, but for now it had to wait and listen. Molly was speaking to it with his own form of poetry.

Then Molly’s hands trailed down Caleb’s back. They stopped above Caleb’s hips. There was a question there. Caleb answered by moving one of his own hands down to rest on the curve of Molly’s ass. The voices in his head shrieked and he trembled in fear for half a second, but he knew he had to let himself do this so he wouldn't be afraid anymore. Molly renewed his force in their kiss, a delighted purr sparking in his throat strong enough for Caleb to feel. That made it all worth it. He grabbed Caleb gently yet enthusiastically by the ass and nudged his groin into Caleb’s, once again hesitant enough to be merely a question yet hopeful as though he expected the answer to be "yes". Even though Caleb's body was responding positively to Molly's affections in a way Molly could probably feel, his heart still beat with frantic anxiety as much as it beat with love.

Caleb planted one promising kiss on Molly’s lips before saying, “Not yet.”

“Hmm?” Molly purred, kissing down Caleb’s throat again.

Caleb gasped. “Mollymauk, I do love you, but… but I can’t yet. I’m sorry.”

“Are you sure?” Molly asked. His voice was heavy under his purring. “It feels like you’re ready.”

“I know, but I’m not. Is that alright?”

Molly slid his hands back up to Caleb’s waist. “I don’t know when we’ll get another chance, though,” he murmured.

“We will,” Caleb said. “We will.” He couldn’t abandon Molly to the Gentleman. He would be here whenever Molly needed someone to love him. Molly had his family, as he called them, but clearly none of them treated Molly this way. Even though Caleb wasn’t ready to enter a sexual relationship with Molly, the Gentleman wasn’t likely to show him any tenderness or affection or care. Caleb would. Caleb would give Molly the kind of love he needed that he couldn’t get from anyone else. He kissed Molly’s lips once more then pressed their foreheads together. Molly was an inch or two taller than he was, so Caleb had to lean up into him, but Molly leaned down into him in return.

Molly chuckled. “You’re going to be bad for business, I can tell.” His purring rumbled against Caleb’s ribs. He wrapped his tail all the way up Caleb’s leg. “I’ll be thinking about you… a lot.”

Caleb rubbed Molly’s back. “When you’re with him?”

Molly took a deep breath and sighed. He nodded. “Yeah, when I’m with him.”

“Good,” Caleb said. He kissed Molly’s cheek. “I will be with you then. You will not be alone with him.”

“Yeah.” Molly smiled. He pushed his forehead harder into Caleb’s. “Yeah, that will definitely help. Thank you.”

“Are you afraid?”

“Not afraid, just… just not looking forward to this. The Gentleman is everything you’re not, which means he’s the fucking worst.” He brushed Caleb’s cheek with the back of his hand. “I wish I had been right. I wish you _were_ the Gentleman. But as terrible as he is, we need him. _We_ —” Molly’s tail squeezed Caleb’s leg, “—need him. Without his aid, there’s no play. No play, no… no reason for you to be here. You’d be gone, and we wouldn’t even have this moment we’re in right now.”

Caleb pulled Molly into an embrace, tucking his head carefully under Molly’s horn. “We will get through this,” he promised. “Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by the ever-wonderful and amazingly talented [Milli](https://twitter.com/_milliiii), without whom this fic wouldn't be half as good as it is. <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Getting to know you, getting to know all about you. Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me."
> 
> (Yes, I know, wrong musical, but it fits regardless.)

Caleb and Molly exchanged a few more kisses before sitting down and making a plan. Molly would request that he be the Cabaret’s liaison in the Mighty Nein’s production team, for the same reasons he had argued to Gustav that he should meet with Caleb about the script. Some may question his involvement since he was also the star of the play, but Molly had a good enough reputation for being fair that most people would trust him. Furthermore, he fully intended to make sure that everyone who wanted a turn in the spotlight would get one.

Molly relayed this information to Gustav — excluding his motivations — that afternoon. “This show really could be everything we’ve wanted for the past few years,” he said. “It’s new, it’s exciting, it’ll show how talented our crew is as well as our performers, _and_ it will appeal to a different audience while still providing our current audience with the acts they know and love.”

Gustav grinned dreamily. “I know. It’s going to be _spectacular_. Word has already spread around the Cabaret and everyone’s talking about it. Oh, speaking of which, Jester wanted to know if Brenatto’s troupe would—”

“The Mighty Nein,” Molly interrupted. “They’re calling themselves the Mighty Nein now.”

Gustav snapped his fingers. “Right! Yes! They changed it. Good on them, the previous one was awful. Either way, Jester asked if they would let her help with the set design. You know she’s been trying to get more involved in the creative side of theatre.”

“I’ll ask.” Molly patted his hand on Gustav’s desk. “But _this is what I’m talking about_. Not only will this show give us more opportunities for a theatre as a whole, but it can be an opportunity for some of us to get out of our ruts and try something new. You know the part in the play where the town holds a pageant to see which of them can best entertain the dragon?”

“Sure, I came up with it.”

“Exactly, as I knew you would. Well, I told their new writer that Toya should be in that pageant. She has been practicing so much but since she’s so young she was afraid she wouldn’t get on stage for another few years. If this town had a twelve-year old who could sing like that though, they would let her participate, right? Especially if she has the same backstory as Toya, no friends or family to take her in and maybe the dragon could at least provide for her.”

Gustav smiled. “Ah, so I _am_ the dragon in this story? Scouring the land for talented outcasts who don’t belong anywhere else?”

Molly laughed. “I think this dragon isn’t going to have your good heart, unfortunately. Strikes me more as a selfish beast, looking for living trinkets to collect. Maybe it could even get bored with Lucien and there will be a second pageant to find someone else to come live with it.”

“Eh, seems too repetitious, but you might be on to something. Ask the writer what he thinks.”

“Oh, I will. Maybe Lucien could even _suggest_ the dragon choose a second prize, not only to entertain itself, but as a companion for Lucien, except then the two of them could conspire against the dragon as well.”

Gustav walked around his desk to put his arm around Molly’s shoulders. “Molly, my dear boy, speaking of opportunities to find new roles, I think you may have a future as a writer yourself. That writer — Mister Widogast, was it? — will be lucky to have you assisting on this project.”

Molly lightly butted the side of Gustav’s head with one horn. “I’m lucky too. From what I’ve seen he has a lot of talent and promise. I can learn a thing or two from him.”

“And teach him a thing or two as well, I imagine,” Gustav said with a wink. “Whatever plays he wrote in Rexxentrum, I doubt he had a cast and crew like ours to work with. Show him the theatre sometime soon. Most of what Desmond and I want to renovate is out in the house, so if you show him around the shops and let him see what we have to work with, he’ll get a better sense of what he can include in this play.”

“Gustav, you mad genius, that is a _fantastic_ idea.” Molly kissed Gustav on the cheek. “I’ll send word to the Leaky Tap for him to meet me here…tomorrow?”

Gustav nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Tomorrow! The sooner the better! Perhaps we can even get this play up and running by Barren Eve? A little something to lift people’s spirits before the worst of winter begins?”

Molly wrinkled his nose. “That’s four months away. Renovations will take at least a month if you want them done by the time we get this show up and running, and we're not going to be able to rehearse then, are we? Three months to throw a show together from scratch is… well, frankly, Gustav, it's bloody insane.”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m getting a little carried away.” Gustav chuckled. “Not to mention in order to properly prepare and still put on a show every night in the meantime, no one would have any time to relax. Of course, we need to put up posts now letting everyone know that we'll be closed during the renovations, and that the last shows before then will be special because it will be the last time they can see the Cabaret as it used to be…”

Molly patted Gustav on the chest. “I’ll leave you to that, then. Best of luck.”

Gustav snapped out of his train of thought. “Hm? Oh, yes, thank you. And best of luck to you. If you’re going to be spending more time with Brenatto’s lot, you’re going to need it.” He smiled proudly and pinched Molly’s cheek affectionately. “I always knew you would do great things, my boy.”

“Couldn’t have done any of them without you, Gustav.” Molly gave Gustav a quick hug and a smack on the butt. “I'll leave you to your plans, then. This place won’t improve itself, after all.”

“Absolutely. I’ll talk to you later. And don’t forget! Take Mister Widogast on a tour as soon as you’re both able!”

Molly grinned. “It’ll be my pleasure.”

Almost as soon as Molly left Gustav’s office, familiar prancing footsteps charged down the hallway at him. “Molly Molly Molly Mollyyyyy!”

Molly pretended to look around for the source of the voice. “…Oh! Jester! Exactly the person I was on my way to find.”

Jester bounced up to him. Her tail had a big pink bow on it today, but it wasn’t the big pink bow Molly recognized. She put her hands behind her back, swaying her hips to make her lacy skirt swish back and forth. “So…how did your meeting go?”

“Which one? I’ve had a very busy day so far and it’s not even time for warm-ups yet.”

“You know,” Jester said. She grinned one of her squinting full-toothed grins. “The one with Caaaleb.”

Molly raised an eyebrow. “You mean the writer?”

“Yasha says you spent the night with him up in the Dragon.”

“I passed out _drunk_ in the Dragon, and he happened to be there.” Molly wasn’t surprised that Yasha had told Jester about Caleb. Jester gravitated towards secrets, the more scandalous the better. She also did not rest until she learned what that secret was, either by pestering the person with questions, snooping around to find it, or guessing what it might be until she sensed she had it correct. The last method worked on Yasha because Yasha was endearingly awkward and a terrible liar, so more often than not when Jester made the right guess Yasha became suspiciously silent.

“I heard he’s pretty cute.”

Molly shrugged. “Eh.”

Jester waved her tail. “But I heard the Gentleman is pretty handsome, too.”

“He is.” Molly folded his arms and squared his shoulders. “But _I_ heard that you’re looking to do some set design for the play.”

“I am!” Jester said. She clapped her hands together and folded them to beg. “Please please please? Can I at least help with painting it?”

Molly ruffled the hair between her horns. “You would have to ask Caduceus. This is a big project, so I’m sure he’s going to need at least a few people to help build _and_ paint it. Gustav wants me to give the writer a tour tomorrow. Should I ask him to bring Caduceus so you can talk to him?”

“Yes please!” Jester booped him in the nose. “And I want to meet Caleb.”

“You definitely will. I had no intention of hiding him away. He needs to meet everyone if he’s going to write good parts for all of us.”

“But you’re the star, right?”

Molly swooped his tail in a grandiose motion. “Aren’t I always?” he asked with a grin.

Jester put her hands behind her back again, scuffing her toe on the ground. “And um, the other star is Fjord, right?”

“For now, yes.”

Jester nodded. “That’s cool, that’s cool.” For someone who loved uncovering secrets, Jester never managed to keep her own as well as she thought. One of her favorite romance novels featured a half-orc love interest, and everyone could tell when she was reading it again because she did a lot of dramatic wistful sighing. The way she described that character made him sound as though he were built more like Bo than Fjord. That didn’t stop her from also sighing dramatically any time Fjord came up in a conversation. She did so at that moment, then added, “I’m sure it’s going to be really fun.”

Molly suppressed a laugh. “You know, Jester, most big stars in plays have understudies, don’t they?”

Jester’s eyes lit up. “Yeah?”

“You know, in case something happens like, I dunno, they get sick and lose their voice or trip and break their arm or some other unforeseen disaster.” Molly knocked on the nearest wooden surface. Jester did the same. “I don’t know who Fjord would get to be his understudy, but since we’re both tieflings and you’re fairly acrobatic when you want to be, perhaps you could be mine?”

Jester jumped up and hugged him before he could finish the question. “Yes yes yes! I’d _love_ to be your understudy!”

Molly patted her on the back. “Good, glad we got that settled. I have to go send a note. How about I ask them to meet us here at noon tomorrow? Maybe we can all get lunch afterward.”

“Sounds good!”

“Then it’s a date,” Molly said. “By the way, I love your new bow.”

Jester waved her tail to show it off. “Thank you, I really like it too. It really goes well with my outfit. I think I’m going to wear it for the show tonight. See you then!” She kissed Molly on the cheek and pranced away.

Molly breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn’t thought about having an understudy until just then, but fortunately it worked to get Caleb and the Gentleman off her mind. Hopefully she wouldn’t insist on accompanying him when he gave Caleb the tour. He had a few places in mind that he wanted to show Caleb while it was just the two of them…

* * * *

Caleb arrived with Caduceus the following day at the requested time. Caduceus had dressed up from his usual — as far as Molly could tell from the few times he had met him — loose pants held up by suspenders over a buttonless shirt, instead wearing more tightly tailored clothes with a forest greet vest. He still had his sleeves rolled up and the cuffs of the pants were dusty and frayed, but he looked good.

However, Caleb looked gorgeous.

Contrary to Caduceus, Caleb had dressed down from his outfit the previous day. He wore a button-up shirt with neither vest nor waistcoat, comfortable yet stylish pants, and best of all he had his hair tied up with a ribbon. Perhaps it was because it allowed Molly to properly see the handsome angles of his face, or because it exposed parts of his neck that Molly longed to nibble amorously, or because it made him appear more distinguished despite his casual attire, or perhaps it was all those things combined, but the mere sight it had Molly on the verge of purring. Even though he didn’t, his heart beat fast enough to feel like it was purring for him.

“Welcome, friends,” Molly greeted them. “Caduceus, Jester is waiting for you in our lounge. Caleb, you and I will start our tour out in the lobby. I know you’ve already been there, but I’m guessing you didn’t get to see much through the swarm of people?”

Caleb smiled somewhat sheepishly. "Among other impairments, yes."

Molly grinned. Gods, he couldn’t wait to get Caleb alone. “Well then, we’ll just escort Caduceus and be on our way, shall we?”

Jester pounced on Caduceus as soon as they walked into the room. Caduceus happily sat down with her and pulled some folded pieces of paper from his vest pocket. They were sketches of ideas Caduceus had had that Jester was thrilled to look over. With the newly formed set design team settled, Molly beckoned Caleb to follow him out to the courtyard and over to the lobby.

“I think Gustav is going to leave the frescos,” Molly said after pointing out the various amenities. “Goes with the theme of the building. Maybe if he decides to take down the tent for something more subdued then he’ll change the interior décor to match, but that wasn’t on his priority renovations list.”

“I like them,” Caleb said. “They make you excited for what you are about to see.”

“ _Exactly!_ Though, now that you mention it, he did say he might cover up the one of the devil toad with a panel for hanging promotional posters on.”

Caleb nodded. “Yes, if any of them had to be removed, then that one is the most, er, grotesque.”

“We don’t even _do_ acts like that,” Molly said. “Gustav never wanted to exploit anyone’s misfortune for money, especially physical misfortunes. Said it’s in bad taste. He just put that up because he saw something similar advertised in a carnival down in Trostenwald once and thought it would add to the ‘curiosity’.”

Next Molly took Caleb on a tour of the entire house, including both floors of balconies, so he could get an idea of the seating capacity. From there they went down under the stage to the orchestra pit, where Molly pointed out how the walls and ceiling were shaped to amplify the sound and direct it into the house. “Gustav wants to shorten the apron, though,” Molly said. “Not by much, but enough to fit a couple more rows of seats in, and he says a smaller stage is better for a play because it will let us move scenery back and forth faster because we won’t have to drag it so far.”

“That makes sense,” Caleb agreed.

Molly showed him the elevator that went from the basement level to the stage level, though they didn't get on. He didn't trust the old thing. “We’re definitely getting a new motor for this,” Molly said loudly to be heard over the cacophony of creaking gears and squeaking belts as he demonstrated why. “Then we can use it during the show without distracting the audience.”

The scene shop was the closest room to the elevator. Molly wasn’t keen on the smell. It stank of sawdust and varnish and metal shavings. Sometimes Molly came down to watch people turning wooden beams and sheets of metal into the set pieces they used on stage, but they didn’t have much call for new sets that often. The already constructed ones took up most of room, occupying whatever floor space didn’t have a table saw or a grinder or a shelf full of tools and nails and others such things.

Molly pointed out a few set pieces that might work for the play, like fronts of houses and shops, trees and bushes constructed to be in the background of a few skits, and a large “rock” made of paper mache and wire with a solid space Marion could sit on while stagehands shook long strips of blue fabric to make it look like she was singing in the middle of the sea.

Going down the hall, Molly unlocked a small closet full of dollies and carts and pulled Caleb inside. “What is this room for?” Caleb asked.

“Getting out of sight,” Molly said with a wink. He leaned against the wall, tail gesturing from between his legs in a beckoning motion.

Caleb laughed. “Is this why you invited me to visit your theatre, Mister Mollymauk?” he asked. “To show me all your favorite hiding places?”

Molly tossed his head in a shrug. The charms on this horns jingled merrily. “Gustav wanted me to give you a thorough tour, show you what facilities were at your disposal so you could write the best show possible.” He batted his eyelashes and grinned. “It so happens that in this room, _I_ am at your disposal.”

“I would never dispose of you,” Caleb said. He put his hands on Molly’s waist. Molly coiled his tail up Caleb’s leg. “You are far too precious to be used and tossed aside like a common rag.” He kissed Molly on the neck. Molly purred and tilted his head. Caleb kissed him again. “You are the Diamond Devil, after all.” He kissed the underside of Molly’s jaw. “You should be cherished, treated with due reverence and respect.” He kissed Molly’s cheek. “You know my feelings about you, _Liebling_ , and I swear I will always treasure you.” Then he brushed his lips over Molly’s, too light to be a real kiss. “I will always love you.”

Purring like a madman, Molly wrapped his arms around Caleb’s neck and kissed him hard. Why _hadn’t_ anyone treated him the way Caleb did? People had been kind to him before, of course, and loved him and adored him and praised him for his many wonderful qualities. Yet Caleb had known him three days and Molly didn’t even have the words to describe the way Caleb treated him. Molly wondered if this was how people who were truly in love treated each other. He wanted to treat Caleb this way, that was for sure. He wanted Caleb to feel special too, important and incredible and irreplaceable.

Maybe he _did_ love Caleb.

He liked Caleb. He thought it was cute that Caleb had such strong feelings for him. He admired Caleb’s poetry and his creativity and cordiality and the way he smiled and the way he kissed and the way he spoke and…

But was that love? The kind of love Caleb talked about? The kind of love Jester’s books _tried_ to talk about? It was too early to tell. Enamored, that was a better word for it, Molly thought. Someday Caleb’s affections might cool and he would take his poetry and kindness and leave. Molly could handle that. People showered him with pretty words then vanished by morning all the time. He hadn’t felt this way about any of them before, though. He needed advice. Later. For the moment, he needed to keep kissing Caleb. Love or not, he enjoyed this.

But Caleb pulled his lips away from Molly’s. In that brief second they were separated Molly whimpered. Then Caleb kissed Molly’s throat and nuzzled his cheek against it. “Your purring is very pleasant,” he said. “I could listen to it all day.”

“Could you?” Molly asked, grinning. He purred harder. Caleb took a deep breath and let it out in a satisfied sigh. “Someday we might have to try that. Since I could listen to you reading poetry all day, we could work it out so you read your poetry and I’ll purr and we’ll just stay that way from sunup to sundown.”

“I like the sound of that,” Caleb murmured. He lavished Molly’s neck with more tender kisses. “But wouldn’t the Gentleman notice if you vanished for an entire day?”

Molly growled. “The Gentleman can go fuck himself with rotten fencepost. You’re far better company.”

Caleb paused. He rested his head on Molly’s shoulder. “Molly, are you— Do you only like me because I’m not the Gentleman?”

“Oh, sweetheart…” Molly stroked Caleb’s hair, careful not to tug any out of his ponytail. “If anything, I dislike the Gentleman so much because he’s not _you_.” He nudged Caleb a little to kiss him on the forehead. “But let’s not talk about that soggy sod. I still have a theatre to show you, and I’m not done being kissed yet.”

That brought a beautiful smile back to Caleb’s face. “Well then,” he said, “if we cannot progress until you are satisfied, then I suppose it is up to me.” He cupped Molly’s face in both hands and kissed him, sweet and strong as apricot mead. Molly purred so hard it made him light-headed. He held Caleb close so he could feel it too.

Once Molly had well and truly melted into Caleb’s arms, he kissed along Caleb’s cheek to his ear. He flicked his forked tongue to caress the shell of it with one tip and tickle the inside with the other. Caleb squirmed and choked back a giggle, but he pulled Molly tighter to him. “Thank you,” Molly said softly. He gave Caleb one last kiss at the corner of his jaw then pushed them both away from the wall. He took Caleb by the hand. “Come on,” he said, “the prop room is next and it’s a _lot_ of fun.”

The prop room was only somewhat more organized than the scene shop. Molly didn’t come here often anymore, but it used to be his job to gather up the props everyone needed for that night and arrange them on tables in the wings so whoever was performing could easily find theirs, grab it, and go on stage. That was Toya’s responsibility now, and she did a good job of it. The prop food was all put away in the same crate, the fabric flowers were arranged in the theatre’s assortment of vases and pitchers, there was a shelf for Molly’s various juggling items, and all the fake weaponry was stacked in barrels or on shelves — though for some reason Toya had put Jester’s giant lollipop in with the swords and spears.

“Go on,” Molly urged Caleb. “Pick through everything and see what we could need for the play, or what we _will_ need for the play, if you can’t find it here.”

While Caleb did that, Molly laid out their sparse collection of fake vines. They were little more than hemp ropes with fabric leaves stitched to them, but Molly could bring one to Caduceus and ask if he thought it would work on set. Molly perched himself on an overturned barrel to watch Caleb sorting through everything, vine wrapped around him like a sash. Caleb carefully examined all the prop swords until he drew out one in particular.

“This one looks similar to what I imagined,” he said. He frowned. “But it is broken?”

“Yeah, that’s the sword we use when we want one to break during a scene,” Molly explained. “You know, like the person wielding it will do this big speech about how they’re going to defeat the other person with ease and boast about how great they are, then after the first blow on the other person’s shield the sword snaps in half and the person stares at it for a moment before running away screaming, that kind of thing. It’s for comedic purposes. But I’m sure we could fix that one up to make it sturdier if you really like it, or we can try to make you one just like it.”

Caleb carefully hefted the sword. Molly had to agree it was exquisite. The long broad blade was painted to look silver, and the hilt was wrapped in real leather. However, it was specially made with a bit towards the middle of the blade that socketed together but came apart with the right amount of pressure. The fact that the sword was so magnificent added to the comedic effect when it snapped in half so effortlessly.

“It really does look like the kind of sword that is meant to kill a dragon,” Caleb said. “These other ones are so… plain.”

Molly hopped off his barrel to examine the collection. The other swords weren’t all identical, but compared to the one in Caleb’s hands they were pretty boring. Some were wider, some were shorter, some were painted with fake rust, some were left unpainted. Oftentimes it was the plain wooden sword that defeated the breakable sword, also for comedic effect. It would be hilarious if the dragon in their play could be defeated by some random half-orc wielding a hunk of wood held together by string. However, the way Molly and Caleb had discussed the play the previous day suggested it would be mostly straight with a few light-hearted moments and maybe even a musical number aside from the pageant. For something like that, the hero needed a more elaborate weapon. Not to mention that even people in the farthest seats would see the gleam of silver in the hero’s hand and know that meant he was gallant and true of heart.

“We can fix it up,” Molly promised. “We might have to repaint it so the break isn’t as obvious, or, like I said, we can have the scene shop make a new one, maybe one that’s even better.”

Caleb smiled. “If it is not too much trouble.”

“To make one little sword? Compared to making an entire village or a dragon’s lair?” Molly grinned. “I’m sure it’s worth the trouble.”

There wasn’t much else that Caleb deemed usable for scenes they had already planned. A few props inspired him to write a dinner scene, possibly Lucien’s last meal in the village before going to live with the dragon. His imagination continued to amaze Molly. Once again, Molly didn’t even notice he was purring until Caleb pointed it out to him.

“I take it you like the idea?” he asked.

Molly lightly tapped Caleb in the hip with his tail. “I like watching you work.”

Caleb turned his head, but couldn’t hide his little smile or the pink rising in his cheeks. “I am merely… um… thinking out loud.”

“And I like it,” Molly said. He didn’t hear anyone out in the hallway, so he stole a quick kiss. “Feel free to speak your mind around me. So far I’ve enjoyed everything that comes out of it.”

They left the prop room with the vine still wrapped around Molly’s chest. Molly led Caleb down the hallway that went under the private section of the property. There was the large closet where they kept drapes and scrims and backdrops carefully rolled up where they wouldn’t get damp or rumpled. There was another, much smaller closet filled with music stands and chairs for the pit. There was a tiny closet that merely contained a spigot and a drain for filling and emptying mop buckets. It wasn’t terribly exciting, but Molly convinced Caleb to kiss him in the drain closet until they couldn’t stand the stench of mildew anymore.

Molly had a skip in his step as they approached the next door. “This is my favorite place in the whole theatre,” he said. He gestured grandly. “The costume storage!”

“Ah,” Caleb said in awe. “Why is it your favorite?”

“Because,” Molly said. He opened the door with a flourish. “Look at all that _color!_ "

It really was a sight to behold, regardless of how many times Molly came down here. One wall was entirely dedicated to shelves for shoes and hats. The other walls were lined with racks of costumes for every show the Cabaret had ever done, and there was a long rack down the center of the room to hold even more. Performers who wore particular costumes frequently enough kept them in their dressing rooms, but for parts that were interchangeable, like the comedy acts or dancers for Jester’s songs, everything was organized by act and size. There were vibrant dresses, flowing robes, tin suits of armor, full-body suits that resembled all manners of creatures, and raiment for kings, peasants, and everyone in between.

Molly took Caleb’s hand and let him to the shelves of hat boxes. “When I started out here, I kept stealing Gustav’s hat and trying to wear it, but it was too big to fit between my horns and too small to fit around them.” He selected one box and opened it to reveal the treasure inside. “So Gustav had a replica made for me, specially designed to accommodate my horns.” He held up the hat for Caleb to inspect. It was in better condition than Gustav’s hat, having been worn far less frequently. The brim had four divots, two larger ones in front and two smaller ones in back that accounted for the curve of his horns. “It doesn’t fit me anymore,” he said, “but we kept it in case we get any other young talented tieflings who want to inherit it.”

Caleb looked from the hat to Molly’s head. “How long ago was this?”

Molly shrugged. “Less than a decade? I don’t know, the years all blend together after a while.”

“They do,” Caleb said. Sadness washed over him and passed faster than puff of cloud obscuring the sun. “I am sure you looked adorable in it.”

“You’d be right about that,” Molly said. “But we’re not here to talk about me, we’re here to work, right? Speaking of which, next door is the costume shop, where we make all of these, but I don’t think you need to see that.” He suddenly wanted this tour to be over, because he intended to end it in his room. Seeing that fleeting sorrow in Caleb’s eyes filled Molly with an urge to hold him gently and let him rest somewhere pleasant. He knew no better place for that than his own bed.

They went upstairs, which Molly did not show Caleb in depth. He told Caleb about the upper floor where some of the other performers and crew lived, and pointed out where the main dressing room was and explained that the bigger stars like himself and Marion and the twins had their own dressing rooms that doubled as their living quarters.

“That’s where we’re going next,” Molly said. “My room. Everything else is offices and green rooms, stuff that doesn’t really affect how you write the play, so unless you’re dying to see them, I was thinking my room could be the last stop?”

Caleb smiled knowingly. “Ah? And why is that?”

“You’ll see.”

Even people who had known Molly for years expressed surprise sometimes when entering his room. Generally the first reaction people had was that this was not what they expected, that they thought his room would have luxurious drapes and jewels on every surface with an extravagantly comfortable couch or bed or something. As ostentatious as his personality was in public, however, Molly was a little different in private. He watched Caleb as they entered the room to see what bewildered him the most.

“…So this is your room?” Caleb asked.

Molly nodded. “Yep, every bit of it.”

As most people did, Caleb took a moment to look around and try to find some sort of theme to the décor. There wasn’t any, not really. Molly was an eclectic collector. It was not a particularly large room, just large enough to accommodate his bed, his nightstand, his dressing table, both his wardrobes, and his shelves of souvenirs, while providing enough floor space for him to do his daily limbering exercises. The floor was covered in small rugs of various shapes and colors puzzled together to fill the space. Rather than drapes he had a modified tapestry of the Platinum Dragon hanging across his window on hooks so he could pull it back and forth to let the light in. Among the assorted posters and pictures on his wall were large-scale painted recreations of his favorite Tarot cards, namely the Sun, the Moon, the Star, the Fool, the Hanged Man, the Knight of Wands, and the Two of Pentacles. Molly had specially commissioned those and he still adored them. The floor-to-ceiling shelf case stood between his wardrobes, and its contents had no system of arrangement other than the fact that Molly placed the trinkets he liked best at eye level.

“It’s…” Caleb turned his head to observe everything one more time. “It’s a bit chaotic.”

“Well so am I,” Molly said with a grin. He shut and locked the door behind them. “By the way,” he added more quietly, “the walls aren’t too thick here, so be careful how loud you speak.”

“Okay,” Caleb said at the same volume. Looking around once more he said, “And I do not mean ‘chaotic’ in a bad way. There is…simply a lot to take in. But it is a very nice room.”

“Thank you. You should try the bed.” Molly paused. “Not like that. _This_ bed is only for resting. I never bring clients here.” He sat down and patted the spot next to him. “C’mon.”

Caleb did as requested. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Wow. That is soft.”

“Goose feather,” Molly said. He opened the drawer on his nightstand. He selected his rosy pink horn caps and strapped them on. They were knitted wool and covered the last six inches of Molly’s horns. Two braids of yarn dangled off the end so he could tie them into his largest piercing hole. The part over the sharp tips of his horns had a thick puffball to provide extra cushioning. Jester had made them for herself, her mother, and Molly, but since she liked keeping busy she had knitted each of them several sets in various colors. One of the sets she made for Molly was designed to look like dicks, and while Molly thought they were hilarious, he didn’t want to embarrass Caleb. Caleb seemed more curious about them than anything. “They’re so I don’t poke holes in my bed,” Molly explained. “Or whoever else is in bed with me.”

“But you said you don’t bring clients here?”

“I don’t, but I have friends who enjoy a good feather bed and a cuddle once in a while.” Molly removed his shoes, tossed the hemp vine onto his dressing table, and stretched out on the bed. “Want a demonstration?”

Caleb smiled. “If people come from all over the Cabaret for the experience, then I would be honored.” He took off his own shoes, then lay down facing Molly. Molly was so happy to have him here that he couldn’t resist leaning in for another kiss. It was as sweet as all the others had been, if not somehow more so. Caleb put his hand on Molly’s waist and smiled. “I take it you don’t do that with everyone who comes to visit this bed?”

“Not like that,” Molly admitted. “A quick goodnight peck on the cheek, usually, but no, you’re the first person I’ve properly kissed in this bed.”

“Then I am even more honored, Mister Mollymauk.”

Molly grinned. “It’s an honor to have you here, Mister Caleb.” He kissed him again. They gradually scooted and adjusted until they were chest to chest, forehead to forehead, legs tangled together and Molly’s tail draped over Caleb’s back to gently caress him. Molly couldn’t remember the last time he felt this happy. Everything else in his mind was an unimportant blur. What mattered was the present, because in the present he had Caleb right beside him in a locked room and only their clothes separating them. Molly took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh of contentment. “It’s a nice bed,” he said, “but it’s even nicer with you in it.”

This time Caleb went in for the kiss. “It wouldn’t be as nice without you in it, either.”

“We can probably get away with being in here for ten, maybe fifteen minutes,” Molly said. “Anything you wanted to do?”

Caleb nuzzled his forehead against Molly’s. “It’s not very exciting,” he said. “I was hoping though to… to get to know you better? Hear more about you? I have enjoyed your stories so far, but I feel as if there’s so much more to learn.”

Molly contemplated the request. Everything else he had told Caleb was part of the tour, little anecdotes that were supposed to be about the theatre but also happened to feature him. He didn’t know how much deep personal information he wanted to share. Caleb was a lovely person and Molly could tell he was decent enough to be trustworthy, but he didn’t even really talk about his past with his family either. The ones who knew it knew not to bring it up and the ones who didn’t know it didn’t need to. “Only if you tell me some things about you first,” he said.

“…That is fair,” Caleb said. “After all, you have told me several things already, but I haven’t told you much, or anything, I suppose. There should be an equal exchange between us.”

“If that’s alright with you.”

“It’s…fine.”

Caleb wasn’t fine. Molly couldn’t tell exactly what was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up or his stomach feel full of lead, but he didn’t like it. He stretched to kiss Caleb on the forehead. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

“ _Nein, ich_ —” Caleb cleared his throat. “I don’t tell many people about this, but if you and I are going to be seeing each other frequently, then it’s best I explain these up front.” He unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt so he could roll the sleeves back. Pale lines and jagged shapes stood out against his already pale skin. Scars. Nasty ones. The worst were the clear straight lines across his wrists.

Molly’s breath caught in his throat. Of all the secrets Caleb could have, Molly never would have guessed this. “Caleb…”

Caleb swallowed. “I went through a, uhm, rough time in my life, not so long ago. I am…better than I was, and I know now that this—” he indicated the scars on his wrist, “—was not the solution to my problems.”

Molly pulled Caleb into a firm embrace. “I’m glad you made it through that. Again, if you don’t want to talk about it that’s okay. I don’t want you to dwell on whatever drove you to do that. Tell me something happy about yourself? You said you had a cat once, right? What was their name?”

A puff of soft breathy laughter blew across Molly’s neck. “Her name was Frumpkin,” Caleb said. “My parents got her because she and I had the same hair color — my hair was a brighter shade when I was younger. She was a very good cat, very patient. I was a um, heh, rambunctious child, and I put her through a lot. She was always willing to play with me, or let me hug her when I was sad. She um…” Caleb pressed his face into Molly and took a deep breath. “She died in the same fire that killed my parents.”

Molly nearly cried out in anguish. For someone who spoke so beautifully and had such a kind heart, Caleb’s past sounded fraught with misery. “I’m so sorry,” Molly said, even though he was aware that the phrase would do nothing to heal whatever had happened to Caleb.

“I am, too. My parents were not very old. I was away at school at the time, or I would have died with them. After that one of my professors took me in as a ward.”

“How old were you?”

“Seventeen. Old enough that I could potentially have struck out on my own, and perhaps I should have…”

The pain in Caleb’s voice was too much. Molly kissed his forehead again. “My turn to tell you about myself?” he asked.

Caleb nodded. “Sure.”

Molly took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Clearly Caleb trusted him, if he was willing to expose his tragedies like this. Though his tail curled in discomfort at opening up to someone he had known for such a short time, Molly felt it was fair to bare one of his own darker secrets in return. “I don’t know how old I am,” he said. “I don’t know where I was born, or what my parents’ names were, or if the image I have in my mind is what my parents actually looked like.”

“… _Was?_ ”

“Gustav found me starving and feverish on the side of the road north of Zadash. Soon after he picked me up my illness got worse and I was basically catatonic for a week. According to Gustav the only word I said clearly the whole time was ‘empty’. He thought maybe I was saying the initials ‘M.T.’ so he called me Mollymauk Tealeaf.”

Caleb paused. “What is your real name?”

Molly chuckled. “Well, now it’s ‘Mollymauk Tealeaf’, but the name I remember being called is ‘Lucien’.”

“Like your character in the play?”

“Yep. That’s why it was the first name that came to mind when I said it.” Molly sighed. “Everything before Gustav is a blur. I vaguely remember traveling with people but they left me on the side of the road, probably because I got sick and they didn’t want anyone else to catch it.”

Caleb’s fingers dug into Molly’s back. “You were _abandoned?_ ”

“And then found by the best possible person.” Molly curled his tail and held Caleb tight with it. “Whoever was looking after me before, whether they were my parents or just some people, clearly they didn’t care about me. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we’ve both lost things but also we’ve been lucky. You’re lucky you have memories of a family that loved you and having a cat and all that; I’m lucky that someone found me and gave me a family who loves me and who I love more than anything else.” He kissed Caleb tenderly and added, “Then we were both lucky to find each other.”

There was a pause during which Molly worried that Caleb had retreated into his sadness and wouldn’t come out again for a while. Then Caleb wove his fingers through Molly’s hair and pulled him in for a long kiss. “How lucky we are indeed,” he murmured.

Molly wriggled to pull aside the neck of his shirt. “And I have scars too, see? Except mine are from learning how to juggle swords.” He traced one finger over a few of the marks on his shoulder. The ones that weren’t on his tattoos stood out against his lavender skin even more than Caleb’s did, but he liked them. Gustav had fretted over him every time he found out Molly had been using real swords instead of the dulled practice swords he got him. He never stopped Molly from trying to learn, merely urged him to be more careful, or at least move out of the way instead of putting his arms over his head to protect himself from the falling blades.

“I wondered about those,” Caleb said. He also reached over to run his thumb along a particularly long one. Molly remembered getting that; he had thrown the scimitar at an angle and stumbled trying to catch it. Gustav made him promise to take a break from practicing until it healed. The memory was faint at the moment because Caleb’s touch felt so good, gentle and curious, just like him. Molly purred softly. Caleb smiled. “ _Ja?_ ”

“Mmmmnf.” Molly writhed and stretched to get comfy. He brushed his tail tip across Caleb’s back in short but slow strokes. “You have nice hands,” he said.

“Do I?” Caleb kneaded Molly’s shoulder, drawing out another moan and making Molly purr louder. “Should I spend the rest of the afternoon doing this, then?”

Molly nodded. He tilted his head into the mattress to better expose his neck and shoulder. “You can touch me however you want wherever you want for as long as you want,” he said.

Caleb’s hand stopped moving, save for a slight twitch. Molly worried that perhaps Caleb thought he was requesting sex, but then Caleb said, “There is a, um… another part of you I have been wondering about…” His face turned that adorable shade of pink.

“Oh?” Molly’s heart sped up. He felt his own blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Your… Your tongue.” Caleb broke eye contact with Molly and swallowed. “Ever since earlier when you… Well, I’ve been thinking about your tongue since then, and… kissing, and…”

Molly laughed. “You want me to use my tongue while I kiss you?”

Caleb nodded.

“Is now a good time?”

Caleb nodded harder.

“That sounds like a good way to end the tour, then,” Molly said. “I _do_ want us to learn more about each other, just so you know. This was a good start, but also maybe we went a little too deep a little too quickly? I’m glad you told me, because you’re right, if I noticed those on my own I would have asked and put you in an awkward place, so thank you. But let’s get to know each other in a different way for now…”

They pulled each other close again, chest to chest once more. Molly kissed Caleb tenderly at first, the way they established that Caleb liked to be kissed. When Caleb was ready, he parted his lips to invite Molly in. Molly didn’t need to be asked twice. He flicked his tongue into Caleb’s mouth teasingly, then held it out for Caleb to find. Caleb’s tongue carefully examined his, prodding at the forked tips and feeling the point where they split. Molly demonstrated how he could move each tip independently, not quite as nimble as his fingers but enough to lightly grip Caleb’s tongue between them and use one to pat it affectionately.

“Wow,” Caleb sighed in awe.

Molly wasn’t done showing off. He kissed Caleb with his lips pursed together to encourage Caleb to do the same. When Caleb did, Molly spread his tongue tips to briefly lick both of Caleb’s lips. Caleb pounced forward. Molly chuckled at his enthusiasm, but gave him what he wanted. They lay there completely entangled in each other for a few more minutes, kissing as deeply as they dared. Molly happened to be an extremely daring person, though he let Caleb set their pace. He was delighted to learn that Caleb had a daring side of his own.

The sound of people talking as they walked down the hallway brought the outside world back into Molly’s room. Molly wished it would go away. He liked having Caleb here in his bed, comfortable and content. Part of him was ready to roll Caleb onto his back, pin him down into the mattress, and pleasure him until he was moaning and screaming loud enough for the whole theatre to hear. Aside from the fact that Molly promised himself he would never fuck in his actual bed, he also promised Caleb that they wouldn’t go that far until they were both ready. Molly wasn’t used to waiting. Generally when he knew he was going to fuck someone he only had a day’s warning, maybe two or three if they scheduled in advance. He didn’t know when Caleb would be ready. He hoped it wouldn’t be too long, but he had no plans to rush him. This kind of kissing was a step forward, and even if this was as far as Caleb wanted to go for a while, that was fine. Molly could get himself off after Caleb left; he couldn’t take back a broken promise.

More people passed Molly’s room. Caleb gave Molly a few reluctantly chaste kisses. “We should go…”

“No,” Molly grumbled. He locked his arms around Caleb. “I know we have to, but we shouldn’t. I want to wake up next to you.”

Caleb smiled. “You do?”

Molly had just blurted that out. He found himself doing that a lot with Caleb. It was true, though. He wondered if there was something about Caleb that was like the magic sword in the play and compelled Molly to be honest. That was something to ponder later. He had said it, and he had to let Caleb know he meant it. He kissed Caleb again. “I do. They say you should wake up to something beautiful so the rest of your day will be beautiful, too.”

“Who says that?” Caleb laughed.

“Well, for one, I do. I’m sure I’ve heard it somewhere though.” Molly nuzzled Caleb and purred. “But if I woke up next to you then I would never get out of bed, because I don’t know how my days could be more beautiful than this.”

Caleb stared into Molly’s eyes, impressed. His face was almost completely red. “That was… Can I put that in the script somewhere? That was very poetic.”

Molly grinned. “Really?”

“ _Ja!_ ” Caleb kissed Molly and squeezed him tight. “ _Es war wunderschön._ ” He kissed Molly again. “ _Du bist wunderschön…_ ” They shared one more deep kiss, then Caleb pried himself out of Molly’s embrace. Molly let him, but only because he knew if they stayed in here much longer Jester was going to come looking for them.

Jester and Caduceus were waiting for them, and sure enough Jester grinned knowingly at Molly when they walked in. Molly gestured with his tail that she could pester him with questions later. By then he would have some suitable half-truths to tell her that would satisfy her while protecting whatever this was he had with Caleb. Their meeting went well, despite Molly’s mind repeatedly drifting back to his bed, Caleb in his arms as he purred over whichever bit of poetry Caleb had shared with him.

Molly may not know exactly what to call his feelings towards Caleb, but as long as he can keep them a secret from the Gentleman, he will happily go on feeling them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb learns new things about Molly and Molly learns new things about love.

After the tour, the meeting with Caduceus and Jester, and especially his time alone with Molly, Caleb felt more inspired than he had been in years. Over the course of the next two weeks he wrote nearly a hundred pages of script, albeit nearly half of that ended up as a crumpled carpet on his floor. Every few days he went down to the Cabaret to meet Molly, discuss his work, and watch the evening’s show. Gustav gave him free tickets because he wanted Caleb to study all the acts and try to incorporate as many as he could into the play. Some performances happened more frequently, like Ornna’s fire dancing and Marion’s singing. Molly performed in almost every show, whether he was on his trapezes or juggling swords or participating in one of the other acts. Caleb chose a different seat each time he attended, and Molly always found him and smiled to him.

However, Caleb could not meet with Molly after every show because sometimes the Gentleman came to visit him. Molly assured Caleb that not much happened during those sessions, only enough to keep him satisfied with Molly’s company and services so he felt he was getting his money’s worth.

“Fortunately I’m also quite skilled in non-sexual forms of pleasure,” Molly said with a little smile of relief. “Seems like a lot of the time he just wants someone to fawn over him and listen to his bloody nonsense about this and that while telling him how amazing he is. As though he doesn’t already have a fucking legion of cronies who can do that already, but I offer playful criticism and he doesn’t seem to mind. Though um… I do cross a line sometimes, it seems, and that’s when he likes to um… to handle me roughly until I agree with him or… placate him…” He looked down at his lap, tail curled around his ankles. “I’ve managed to keep him out of my pants so far but… I know it’s only a matter of time…”

Caleb was furious at Gustav and the Gentleman for putting Molly in this situation. Since he could do little else about it, he used it as further inspiration. In the play, which they were currently calling “The Dragon’s Prize”, the dragon grew to lust after Lucien after watching him perform for it so many times. It never forced itself on him, but it often attempted to seduce him in its disguised form. Lucien denied it each time. Meanwhile he fell deeper in love with Fjord’s character, Stone, who treated him compassionately. The dragon already had its suspicions that when Lucien went to town for supplies he was conspiring with the people there to kill it, but one of its spies — a snake played by one of the Jade twins — told it that they saw Lucien and Stone passionately kissing and the dragon’s jealousy filled it with rage. That was when it forbade Lucien from leaving its cave anymore and told the town to send Stone away or it would eat him. But it still didn’t trust Lucien, and it knew it needed the magic sword in order to know for certain if Lucien were still lying to him. It offered a great reward for the sword, and Lucien tried as hard as he could to regain its trust so he could get away before someone brought the sword to it.

“A little on the nose, isn’t it?” Molly asked when Caleb presented him with those pages. “Why not invite the Gentleman to play the dragon himself?” He was teasing, but he was also right. They lay in Molly’s bed together rewriting it to be a more subtle “fuck you” to the Cabaret’s investor.

The dragon’s lust became implied rather than blatantly stated, but it wanted Lucien to admire it and its jealousy towards Stone was more because Lucien preferred his company despite everything the dragon did to be merciful and provide for Lucien. The moral, they argued to Gustav, was that respect and admiration could not be bought, especially by someone with dark intentions; it had to be earned by a kind and honest heart.

“What a story!” Gustav exclaimed. “And it implies that even great and terrifying creatures such as dragons deep down crave validation and love like any common mortal.”

“ _Exactly_ , Gustav,” Molly said, beaming. “We knew you would get it. Some of the audience might not pick up on the nuances, but that’s fine. They’ll love it for spectacle, right?”

“Right!” Gustav clapped them both on the shoulder. “Keep up the excellent work you two.”

“Well, I’m glad he saw something in that,” Caleb said once he and Molly were back in Molly’s room. “I don’t want people to sympathize with the dragon, though.”

“People are going to draw their own conclusions no matter what you do,” Molly said. “It’s like you were saying about poetry, and how people have argued for centuries over what certain metaphors mean. But if the poet wrote exactly what they were thinking, it wouldn’t be the same.” He grinned. “For example, say… ‘I yearn to feel our hands meld together and our breaths to become as one’ sounds much more profound than ‘I need to cuddle you so bad right now’.”

Caleb chuckled. “Well, so long as you get your point across and you aren’t boorish about it…” He followed Molly into bed and murmured in his ear, “ _Let me be as a flower in your hair or the beads around your neck,/ the bracelet on your wrist or the oil upon your breast…_ ”

Molly purred in delight when he recognized the line from one of his favorite Marquesian poems. “ _Let me be as the sash around your waist or some other finery,_ ” he said with a grin, pulling Caleb closer. “ _Oh, I would even be your sandal, so you would always step on me!_ ”

At first Caleb was hesitant to share poetry with Molly. No one else in his life had cared for it much, not even his peers at school. Molly, however, enjoyed curling up with his head in Caleb’s lap or lying on the bed listening intently while Caleb read from one of his books or recited poems he had written himself. The sound and sensation of Molly purring was like thunderous applause, but instead of showering him with roses after his recitals Molly showered him with kisses. Caleb’s heart could barely contain its joy as he kissed Molly back.

Caleb had also learned several things about Molly these past couple weeks. Though they spent much of their time in Molly’s room, if they wanted to discuss topics more personal than poetry or the latest scene Caleb had written, they went to the Dragon. With the main door locked and the door on the balcony shut they could speak freely about their lives and their feelings. Caleb avoided the harsh years after his parents’ deaths and a few truths Molly would have to learn one day, but he gladly talked about his childhood and the celebration in his hometown when he and two other children were selected to attend school in the capital. Molly, in turn, told Caleb about his life in the Cabaret after Gustav found him.

“We assume I’m around Jester’s age because we both shed our velvet within a few years of each other. There’s no fixed age for when tieflings shed, but unless I was an early shedder I’m probably somewhere in my early twenties?”

“I found out I had a knack for the trapeze accidentally. One time I was running a message up to the fly loft and I tripped and fell over the railing. I managed to get my legs and tail on the railing to anchor me, though. It was terrifying, yes, but also… exhilarating. Gustav let me play on a trapeze at a safer height, and after a few months I had a basic routine worked out and I did my first show. I’ve been performing ever since.”

“The diamonds? Fake. They’re just beads strung onto a body net and cut to look like diamonds. At that distance under the lights no one can tell the difference.”

The most surprising secret Molly told Caleb was in exchange for Caleb admitting that the professor who took him in, Trent Ikithon, made him go to school to become a politician like he was even though Caleb hated politics, and that meant going to parties and events that he hated even more.

“I don’t like being around strangers,” Molly told him.

Caleb lifted his head from the pillow to better examine Molly in search of some tell that might indicate a lie or a joke. “ _You?_ ”

Molly shrugged. “Strangers are scary.”

“But… you’re a performer. And you… you…”

“Entertain clients? Yeah, it’s something I’ve had to get comfortable with. I tell myself it’s another kind of performance and I get into character before I meet up with them. I really like sex, so that makes it easier. I don’t like going out into the city alone, though. Usually I bring Yasha or Jester with me so I have someone familiar nearby. Helps me feel…safer.”

Caleb never would have guessed. “What about me?” he asked. “Were you afraid of me when you found out I was not who you thought I was?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Molly said. “I was so happy that this guy who I was going to have to submit to was gentle and bashful and kind…” He tenderly stroked Caleb’s hair. “…and handsome.” He smiled, but it faded quickly. His tail twitched against Caleb’s thigh. “Then you… weren’t that person, I didn’t know who you were or why you were there or what you wanted with me. People have tried to sneak in and see me or beg me to take them as a client, and… well, some of them don’t take rejection well. I didn’t think you were going to hurt me, but yes, I was scared.”

Caleb intertwined his fingers with Molly’s. “And later that night? When I climbed into the Dragon?”

“Also scary, a little,” Molly confessed. “Except by then I had a better sense of who you were and that you weren’t dangerous. I didn’t expect you to get Yasha and Fjord to help you up but…” He bit his lip. A hint of blush colored his cheeks. “Honestly? I hoped you would find a way up to me. I wanted you to want me. You weren’t really a stranger anymore. I guess… I guess I was more afraid because I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you. I didn’t want you to fall, but I also didn’t want you to get too close to me in case the Gentleman…”

“In case the Gentleman punished me,” Caleb said. “I would be lying if I said the thought does not still make me nervous, but I cannot stay away from you. Even if you sent me away that night I would have hoped to see you often while we worked on this play. I would not force my company on you, but I would cherish every moment I spent in your presence.” He kissed Molly’s hand. “You have no idea how happy I am that I get to be with you like this.”

Molly smiled, his eyes warm and a light purr tinging his words. “I don’t think I could have stayed away from you either. You won me over so many times that night. The poetry, the wine, helping me with the bandages when I was bleeding, fucking not giving up even when I locked you out. Granted, if anyone else had pulled that stunt I’d be pissed, but with you… Like I said, you won me over.” He kissed Caleb softly. “I guess that means I like you,” he said with a grin.

The one thing that gnawed anxiously at Caleb’s heart was the fact that Molly never said that he loved Caleb. He avoided the word altogether in their conversations, it seemed. He never pushed Molly to say it because he wanted him to say it naturally. Perhaps it was because they were discussing their fears, but something emboldened Caleb enough to ask.

“Mollymauk, I— I am glad that you like me, but do you…” Caleb took a deep breath. He looked into Molly’s eyes even though doing so made him even more nervous. “Do you love me?”

Molly stared blankly for a moment. Then he smiled. “Caleb, have I not made that obvious? Of course I do. I was only teasing. Well, I do also like you, definitely, so I wasn’t…really teasing?” He chuckled, turning his eyes away as his cheeks flushed a deeper rosy shade. “You know what I mean.”

“But _do_ you mean it?”

Molly’s eyes met Caleb’s again. Their red depths held an emotion that made Caleb’s heart flutter. “I mean it more than I know how to deal with it. I might not say it, and I apologize if that has given you the impression that my feelings for you aren’t… true, but the fact is I’ve never loved anyone this way before. Usually when I talk about loving someone I’m referring to my family, but that’s different. I don’t know how to say what I feel about you yet, but believe me, darling, I care about you and I cherish you and if it were up to me I’d tell the Gentleman to bugger off so I could brag about you and how lucky I am to be with you.” He kissed Caleb’s forehead. A jolt of warmth shot through Caleb’s chest. “But if the only way I _can_ be with you is in secret, then so be it. Doesn’t change how much I adore you.” He nuzzled Caleb and purred. “Like that one poem, about the trees that grew on opposite sides of the road but underground their roots grew together? Can you tell me that one again?”

Caleb blinked back the tear that had pooled in his eye. The gods did not make mortal hearts strong enough to contain the love he had for Mollymauk. “I did not bring that book today and I cannot remember it all, but I can try.” He cleared his throat. “ _Upon the way to Vasselheim there stand two noble trees…_ ” Molly grinned and snuggled Caleb closer. Caleb rested his head between Molly’s collarbones to hear and feel him purr as he recited the poem to the best of his abilities. The steady meter helped him remember some words, but even when he had to pause and think Molly continued to purr heartily.

Molly didn’t know how to be in love with someone. Worse, he couldn’t ask for advice without possibly giving him and Caleb away. He could lie and say he was falling in love with the Gentleman, but the thought made him gag. The Gentleman was a selfish bastard, rarely even took care of Molly after Molly finished him. He certainly never wooed Molly with poetry or asked him about his life or made him purr the way Caleb did. Molly had to pretend to like the Gentleman, but he was in no way obligated to give people the impression he _loved_ him.

Fortunately, Jester had started her constant dramatic sighing again, which meant she was rereading _Tusk Love_. Molly still considered her romance books to be pure fiction, but all stories held something true in them. That’s what Caleb said, anyway. It didn’t take much to get Jester to tell Molly everything about _Tusk Love_ , despite the fact that she had gushed to him about it before. It meant he didn’t have to read it himself.

“How do you know Oskar and Gertrude are in love?” he asked. “Does the book just say ‘And they loved each other’ and you assume they are? Books are weird.”

Jester pouted at Molly, her lower lip tucked up almost high enough to touch her wrinkled nose. “First of all, her name is _Guinevere_. And it’s not _weird_ , you just don’t know what this kind of love is like!”

Molly made a show of getting himself comfortable in his seat. “Then why don’t you explain it to me?”

“Fine! I _will!_ ” And explain she did. She talked for over an hour, during which Yasha came and sat down to listen as well. Jester grew more animated the longer she spoke. For the last ten minutes of her rant she snatched up a pillow off the couch and hugged it to her chest, rocking side to side while her tail wove smitten shapes in the air. “And it’s just the sweetest most romantic story _ever_ and I love it _so much!_ ”

“So… being in love is… just… being there for each other?” Molly asked. “How is that different from loving your family or friends?”

“It’s not _just_ being there for each other,” Jester said. “Weren’t you listening?” She sighed dramatically. “It’s about the way they feel so good when they’re around each other and they _yearn_ for each other when they get separated and they would do _anything_ for each other because they are _so totally in love!_ ”

Yasha quietly cleared her throat. “Um, if I may? That one part where Oskar surprises her in the morning with the berries for breakfast after she’s tired of meat reminds me of… well…”

Molly wrapped his tail around Yasha’s ankle. “Zuala?”

“Mhm.” Yasha’s eyes gazed into the distant past for a moment. Not many people in the Cabaret knew much about her wife other than the fact that she was dead. She had told Molly a lot, though, after Molly had taken her in when she came to them with nowhere else to go. They were both from Xhorhas, where training for the military started at a young age. When there were no conflicts for them to fight, they were also the hunters and scouts that provided food and safety for their people. Yasha and Zuala were in the same company and they developed a bond quickly, often teaming up to hunt or take down ferocious beasts. However, their people were very strict in their traditions, and both Yasha and Zuala were betrothed to other people. They married each other in secret. When their leaders found out, they were punished by being separated and sent into dangerous missions that were little more than death sentences. Yasha ran away and tried to find Zuala, but it was too late. After that she kept running until she eventually reached Zadash.

Jester knew a little more than most, enough to understand what the two of them had gone through. She hugged her pillow tight. “You and Zuala would have made a great romance couple,” she said solemnly.

Yasha chuckled softly. “Thank you, Jester. But… But Zuala and I used to surprise each other with little things all the time, especially if we knew it was something the other wanted or liked. She loved flowers, but not many grew where we lived, so every time I found one I either brought her to it so she could see, or if she couldn’t come with me I’d bring it to her. Every time, she would smile, even if I brought her the tiniest bud. Her smile was the best gift in the world, and her laughter…” She trailed off, staring down at her folded hands in her lap.

Molly hugged Yasha tight, wrapping his tail around her as well. Whenever she talked about Zuala before, Molly sensed how deep her sorrow was but that even in the deepest points there were remnants of happiness and love. He never understood until now, though. If anything happened to Caleb, the world would be a much worse place because it would lack his poetry and the sparkle of his eyes and the sweetness of his smile. Molly’s heart wailed at the mere thought. He held Yasha tighter. How her heart must wail every day living in a world without her dearest love. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“It’s okay.” Yasha sniffled and patted Molly on the back. “In our culture, when two people marry they marry forever, not just until one of them dies. She is still mine, as I am still hers, and I take comfort in that.” She squeezed Molly in a grateful hug. “But I also take comfort knowing she would be happy that I am where I am, with so many wonderful friends.”

Jester came in and joined the hug. “We love you too, Yasha.”

Yasha patted Jester’s arm. “Thank you, Jester.”

They sat that way for a moment before reaching an unspoken agreement that Yasha was done being hugged. Molly took that moment to think.

“So… being in love… is… wanting that person’s happiness above everything else?” he asked.

Jester pouted. “Mmm… sort of.”

Molly sighed. “Look, forgive me if I sound completely thick, because I can tell there’s a difference between loving someone the way I love all of you and being ‘in love’ with someone, but I just… don’t really get it?”

“Um…” Jester tapped her tail on the ground pensively. “Oh! Think of it like this. You know how much you like strawberry cake?”

Molly hummed a pleased moan of agreement. “Gods, I really do.”

“Okay! Well, if you took the strawberries and cream away, it would technically just be vanilla cake, yeah? But vanilla cake is still really good! It’s just that adding the strawberries and cream makes it _super_ good. So loving your friends and family is like vanilla cake, but then when you’re _in_ love with someone there’s something about them that’s like strawberries and cream on top.”

Yasha nodded. “Huh, that’s actually a good way to put it.”

Jester grinned sheepishly. “It’s from _Guard of My Heart_ , except they were talking about putting cherries on top of chocolate cake.”

“That’s also really good,” Molly said. “Fuck, now I want cake.”

“Me too,” Jester said. “Want to go get some?”

“Guh, _please_. Are you gonna come with, Yasha?”

Yasha shrugged. “I could go for some pastries, yeah.”

The three of them headed out into the city. It was warm enough that Molly spent most of the walk with his jacket slung over his shoulder fashionably. Jester talked about the plot and characters and her favorite parts of _Guard of My Heart_ for most of the trip to the bakery. Molly was only partially paying attention. He was trying to think of something he could do for Caleb to show his affection that was different from how he might show it to his family and friends. Unfortunately he hadn’t really asked Caleb about the things he liked beyond cats and poetry and other works of literature. He could tell there were dark and painful things in Caleb’s past he didn’t want to talk about, so Molly had let him pick his own topics of conversation when they weren’t discussing the play. Surely he had to like pastries though. Molly didn’t know a single person who didn’t like a good baked treat in some form or another.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” he said when they were almost at the bakery. “Why don’t we stop by the Leaky Tap on the way home and see the Mighty Nein? I’ve barely spoken to Fjord since we signed onto this show, and seeing as how he’s my future co-star I think that’s somewhat rude of me. And you could talk to Caduceus about your plans for the set design based on the new scenes Caleb has written and Yasha, you could, I don’t know, talk to Beau about the musical score?”

Jester had smiled at the first mention of Fjord’s name, but then she narrowed her eyes and that smile became more mischievous. “And isn’t _Caaaleb_ also staying at the Leaky Tap?”

Molly shrugged, though a slight blush crept across his cheeks. “Yes, but I’ve had plenty of his company recently.”

“I could talk to Beau,” Yasha said. “I um… I only know what you’ve told me about the play so far, but maybe Beau thinks there should only be music during set changes.”

“Like everything else, I’m sure Gustav will put it all up to a vote then make the decision based on which argument he likes best,” Molly said. He smiled. “Though maybe you could sway Beau’s opinion based on how much work you’d rather do during the show.”

“You should also ask _Caaaleb_ what he thinks about it,” Jester said.

Molly frowned at her. “Why do you keep saying his name like that?”

“Like _whaaat?_ ” she asked innocently but with that gleam still in her eyes.

“If you’re going to be like that I’m going to buy all the cinnamon-sugar coated doughnuts they might have and give them away to the first person I see under the strict condition that _you don’t get to have any_.”

Jester gasped. “You _wouldn’t!_ ”

Molly grinned, baring his fangs a little more than usual. “ _Try me._ ”

Jester crossed her arms and pouted, swishing her tail in a way that almost hit someone who was walking up around their group. “You’re _mean_ sometimes, Molly.”

“And _you_ have a habit of sticking your nose _and_ opinions where they don’t belong sometimes.” Molly smiled more pleasantly to show her there weren’t any real hard feelings. “You’re worse than a sister because I technically have no obligation to like you and yet I do despite it all which means it’s on _me_ if I’m bothered in your presence or not.”

“But you _do_ like me?”

Molly put his arm around Jester’s shoulders. “More than most.” Jester smirked at him with an unasked question but he could practically hear her saying Caleb’s name in that suggestive tone again. “At least, more than most, most of the time. But seriously, don’t be weird about things and I won’t give away all your doughnuts, alright?”

Jester rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry as a sigh. “ _Fine._ ”

She kept her word, and for that Molly bought her an extra doughnut, but he kept it in his pocket and said she could only have it if she behaved herself at the Leaky Tap. He ordered a sampler box with one of each of a dozen different pastries. Jester’s tail whipped side to side and her cheeks puffed up but she held her tongue. The doughnut in Molly’s pocket was cinnamon-sugar coated _and_ filled with blueberry jam, after all.

The Leaky Tap wasn’t relatively busy when they got there. The lunch rush was over and it was still too early for the flood of patrons who would come for drinks after work. They announced who they were here to see so they wouldn’t just be two tieflings and a large woman in a casual suit strolling up into the rented rooms. The person at the counter informed them that the Mighty Nein were in the largest room on the third floor, even though Molly already knew that from Caleb. However, the added “It’s the first and only door on the left” was much appreciated.

Molly paused on the second floor. He glanced down the left hallway and wondered which of those rooms was Caleb’s. It wasn’t as though he needed to know; Caleb had told him that the hole in his ceiling that led to the Mighty Nein’s room still wasn’t fixed so Molly could just call to him through that. Even so, he might sneak over here, or find an excuse to come work with Caleb in his own space, and he was curious. After a second or two of consideration, he tramped up the stairs with Jester and Yasha. He would learn what he needed to know soon enough.

The first thing they learned when they got to the Mighty Nein’s room was that Fjord wasn’t there. “He’s out working,” Caduceus said. “With uh… Without reliable acting work he has a job at the train station helping to load and unload cargo. Said it was basically what he did as a dock worker except it smells worse. He should be back soon though. Come in, I’ll make you some tea.”

Molly had assumed from the person downstairs calling this “the largest room on the third floor” that it would be fairly large. It was not nearly as large as he expected, at least not in terms of something four people could live in together. It was very obvious that four distinct personalities occupied this room, though. There were four beds, each different sizes and separated by standing curtains like in a hospital ward, lined up along one wall. The largest was under the window and surrounded by potted plants, and the smallest was barely visible under a heap of fabrics and jars and chaos. The bed on the far left looked like the one that had been here originally, or at least it merely looked to be the oldest, and was just a simple bed with linen sheets and a few postcards tacked to the wall behind it. The fourth bed had flyers for different shows hung on its wall, all of them showing various female performers, most of whom were scantily clad.

Caduceus went over to the side of the room that was clearly meant to be some sort of dining room, though it was little more than a table and chairs by a sink, some cabinets, and a wood stove with a chimney pipe that went up out of the ceiling. Molly, Jester, and Yasha were invited to sit at the table or on the couch over by the wall that was still partly covered by their cobbled-together set piece for the original play they were working on when Caleb moved in. Caleb’s description of it as “lumps of wood painted gray” was fairly accurate. Beside all of that was a wide plank lying flat on the floor with a small throw rug trying in vain to disguise it. Molly figured that that was the hole above Caleb’s room.

“Is Caleb home?” Molly asked, ignoring the smirk Jester shot him upon hearing that question.

“Probably,” Caduceus said. “If he’s not at the Cabaret working with you or out buying more paper, he doesn’t really go anywhere else.” He looked over his shoulder at the hole. “Come to think of it, he could probably do with a cup of tea. Could one of you call him up? Just push the plank aside and see if he’s busy.”

Molly immediately volunteered. He grinned giddily. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Caleb’s face. He lay down on the floor and pushed the plank enough to make a hole he could fit his head into.

Caleb’s room was so small yet seemed so large because of all the empty space on the walls and floor. There were barely any furnishings aside from the bed, the dresser drawers, a tiny desk with a typewriter on it, and a chair beside that. Molly had to twist his head a little to see that there was a wall-mounted lamp by Caleb’s bed, otherwise the main light source for the room was natural light from a small window above his desk and a glass door that Molly assumed led to one of the balconies visible from the outside. With a bit more straining Molly saw that Caleb was currently on his balcony. The warm breeze that blew into the room ruffled the papers on his desk, though it wasn’t enough to knock them to the floor.

Molly cleared his throat loudly. “Oh, Mister Caleb?” he called.

Caleb didn’t respond at first, not that Molly could see. After a moment he wandered inside, brow furrowed in confusion. Then he looked up and his eyes went wide. Molly grinned. “Mollymauk!” Caleb exclaimed. “ _Wie_ — H-How—” He rushed to stand directly beneath Molly. He was wearing simple brown slacks held up with matching suspenders over a long-sleeved button-up shirt, sleeves rolled down despite the warm day to cover his arms. “What are you doing here?”

Molly shrugged. “Came to visit Fjord, discuss what you’ve written so far, but he’s not home yet, it seems. Caduceus says he’ll be back shortly, so we’re waiting up here. Er, that is, Jester and Yasha are with me.” He smiled. “We brought pastries. You’re welcome to come up and share them with us. Caduceus also said he’ll make you some tea as well.”

“ _Ja_ ,” Caleb said, still blinking with a bewildered expression. “ _Ja_ I could um, come up and… chat.” He lowered his voice. “Is this okay?” he asked.

“Is what?”

“You being… away? Unavailable?”

Molly couldn’t miss the hint of vitriol in Caleb’s voice on that last word. He smirked nonchalantly. “Why, what do you mean? I’m here on business to discuss our new play with my future co-star. Besides, our new investor is generally busy during this time of day and… _ahem_ , prefers to call on me in the evenings.” He swished his tail, even though Caleb couldn’t see. “I am more than okay.” Lowering his own voice he added, “I would be more okay if I could spend time with you, even if it is around other people.”

Caleb stared up at him silently for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll be up shortly.”

Jester had that same smirk on her face when Molly came back to the table. He ignored her with a flick of his tail and asked Caduceus if he wanted a pastry. “Oh, no thank you,” Caduceus replied. “I ate recently, and uh, to be honest nothing I’ve found in this city compares to my aunt’s baking. It’s all either too bland or too sugary.”

“How can something be _too sugary?_ ” Jester asked, almost offended.

That sparked a mild argument that Molly added to once or twice, but as soon as Caleb arrived his attention was completely elsewhere. He smiled brightly at Caleb, who had pulled his hair back into a somewhat fluffy ponytail. Something about the way Caleb looked with his hair like that had Molly’s heart beating strangely, like it was full of champagne bubbles. The conversation paused long enough for Molly to offer the box of pastries to Caleb.

“Oh, er, thank you,” Caleb said. He deliberated for a moment with his hand hovering just above the box before he selected a blueberry muffin. Molly made a mental note. However, as soon as Caleb had taken a bite of the muffin Jester demanded to know if he considered the muffin either too bland or too sugary. Taken aback, his simple reply was, “Um… it is… sweet? But not too sweet?”

“You see!” Jester said to Caduceus as though that would settle everything.

Yasha, bless her, interrupted Jester before she could continue her rant about pastries to ask Caduceus what sort of cooking he grew up with. It turned out that Caduceus had been raised never eating meat or any other animal products, to the point where he had had his first glass of milk when he came to Zadash. That was fascinating enough to draw everyone’s attention. Under the table, Molly curled his tail around Caleb’s ankle.

Beau and Veth returned from their shopping before Fjord returned from work, and since they had brought home groceries Caduceus offered to cook one of his aunt’s special recipes if the trio from the Cabaret wanted to stay for dinner.

“Well… we shouldn’t eat too much,” Jester said. “We do have a show tonight, but so long as we’re waiting for Fjord, sure. Yasha, would you mind staying for dinner?”

“Uh, n-no, I suppose not,” Yasha said.

Jester turned to Molly, her face far too composed for her _not_ to be holding back a knowing grin. “And what about you, Molly?”

Molly shrugged. “If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Were you intending on making trouble?” Beau asked, her arms crossed.

“The thought occurred to me, but I wouldn’t want to be a bothersome guest,” he said. “If this dinner is as good as Caduceus says it will be, I might want to be invited back.”

Beau made a somewhat bratty noise, but said nothing. Molly squeezed his tail around Caleb’s ankle.

When Fjord came home from his shift at the train station things had turned into somewhat of a party, since Veth had brought out a bottle of wine and everyone but Jester and Caduceus had had a glass each. Molly held back his naturally flirtatious nature as well as his state allowed him, but by the bottom of his second glass he couldn’t stop himself from grinning at Caleb every chance he got. Caleb’s cheeks flushed from the drink and the attention and only made him more endearing.

They did talk about the play over dinner, which was quite good. It was roasted and sautéed vegetables wrapped in some kind of rice dough. Molly had at least four of the delightful dumplings, in addition to a cupcake out of the pastry box. The hour grew later until Jester said they should get back for pre-show warm-ups soon. Molly, who was recovering from his tipsiness but hadn’t shaken it quite yet, felt a pang in his heart. This had been such a wonderful experience, not only getting business done while enjoying a good meal and good company, but getting to see a side of Caleb he hadn’t had the chance to before. Caleb was shy at first, but a little wine and friendly encouragement brought him out of his shell. He smiled and laughed and contributed witty remarks and anecdotes to their conversations, and Molly had fallen harder in love with him.

“Before we leave, I was hoping for a tour of Mister Caleb’s room,” he said.

Jester snickered. “Oh? Why is that?”

Molly puffed up his chest and squared his shoulders. “Well, I’d like to see where the magic happens, where he comes up with all his marvelous work. I don’t _have_ to, of course, but you know I love exploring new places and… while I am acquainted with the rooms here, I’m not acquainted with his in particular.”

Caleb cleared his throat. “I do not mind. I had something I wished to give him anyway, and this will save me the trouble of having to remember to bring it to our next meeting.”

“There you have it,” Molly said with a wave of his hand. He stood up from the table. “Jester is right, though, and we should be on our way soon, so let’s get that over with, shall we?”

The two of them excused themselves. Yasha stopped Jester from following them. Molly patted his pocket, where Jester’s reward doughnut still waited for her. He followed Caleb downstairs. His heart thudded excitedly in his chest the way it did before he went out onto the stage. Caleb closed the door behind them. His cheeks were flushed a rosy pink. Molly imagined he must be blushing somewhat as well, judging by how warm his face felt.

“I uhm…” Caleb rubbed his forearm. “The thing I wanted to give you was just a uh… a book of simple poems I saw at the shop the other day. It had wonderful illustrations in it that er, perhaps you will enjoy as much as the poems, if… if reading them proves too taxing for you.” After a pause he quickly dashed over to his little desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a book. It wasn’t as thick as most of his tomes of poetry, but it was still expertly bound and the poems were accompanied by beautifully painted illustrations, as he said. “I-If you want I er, can also read you a few, n-next time I am there.” He smiled hopefully.

Molly beamed. “I would love that,” he said. He took the book from Caleb, letting his hand linger over Caleb’s for a moment. “Thank you, darling.” Their eyes met. Molly’s heart got that bubbling feeling again. His breathing became more shallow. “I… I have a very strong urge to kiss you,” he admitted quietly.

Caleb nodded. “I feel the same urge,” he replied. He licked his lips. “Though if your friends are waiting for you, maybe you should go.”

Molly shook his head with a soft snort of laughter. “They can wait another moment. I don’t know if I can, but I don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. This is your space after all.”

“It is. And…” Caleb smiled. “And it is a space in which I would like you to kiss me.”

Without another word, Molly stepped forward and pressed his lips to Caleb’s, softly yet gleefully. As usual, Caleb started off hesitant then rapidly gained confidence until he was gently holding Molly by the back of the head. Molly had his arms around Caleb, clutching him and his book tightly. He purred. His tail coiled against the small of Caleb’s back. The kiss was tenderly passionate, and all too soon it was over.

“I can visit again,” Molly murmured. “I can say I’m visiting Fjord again or that I’d like a change of scenery while we work on this play together.”

Caleb stroked Molly’s hair. “I— I would like that, please.”

Molly kissed him again briefly and sweetly. “Then I will. I’ll see you soon.”

“Soon,” Caleb echoed with another kiss.

Molly wished he could stay here, but he had a show to put on and he had to sober up before then. A brisk walk would help, as would a few glasses of water during warm-ups. It would be easier to stay here, warm and tingling from wine and love and savoring kiss after kiss, but sometimes what was necessary was not what was easy. With great difficulty, Molly pulled away from Caleb. He held up the book. “Thank you again,” he said.

“You are very welcome,” Caleb said. “H-Have a safe walk home.”

Molly smiled. “And have a good night, darling.”

Jester pranced behind him for half of their walk, on the verge of bursting from all the questions she wanted to ask. Molly assured her that Caleb had simply given him the book and showed him his room then bade him farewell. He gave Jester her cinnamon-sugar doughnut to occupy her for the rest of the walk. Yasha was interested in his new book, so he opened it to show her the pictures.

As he flipped through, Molly noticed something he hadn’t before. In the bottom corner of the title page, handwritten in a way that Molly knew well by now, was a brief dedication.

_For my favorite Star._


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly gives Caleb a gift, Beau gives Caleb some advice, and Caleb gives Molly a place to sleep.

Molly was true to his word. For every few days Caleb came to the Cabaret, Molly tried to visit Caleb at the Leaky Tap at least once. After his fourth “meeting” there, which was only a little more productive than the previous one where Veth had been absent for the weekend as she visited her husband and son, Molly made his usual excuses to go to Caleb’s room with him. He could barely contain his smile and his tail tip was twitching in anticipation.

“You know how I’ve been teasing you about how plain your room is?” he asked when they were alone together.

Caleb chuckled. “ _Ja, ja,_ I know. I just… have not gotten around to decorating it.”

Molly bounced on his toes. He felt like Jester when she was about to present her latest creative project. “Well, I thought I would help you out with a little something.” He pulled the small paper-wrapped object from his pocket. “I saw this at a new street cart and knew you had to have it.”

“Oh?” Caleb’s face lit up with curiosity. Molly felt his heart skip and was worried for a moment that the same thing was happening to him that made him fall off the trapeze, but it was followed by a warm pleasant sensation that spread through his chest and tickled his belly. Caleb carefully unwrapped the small object. It was a porcelain cat figurine, about the size of his thumb. Its shiny fur was orange with a white patch on its chest and it was wearing a big blue bow that matched its eyes. Caleb stared at it for a moment before his broke into a wide smile. “Oh, how precious…”

“They didn’t have one that was all orange, but there were other cats,” Molly said. “I figured you could start with something small, see how well it went with your uh… minimalistic décor, and if you wanted more then…” He shrugged. “I could probably find that cart again.”

Caleb held up the cat and examined it further. Molly hadn’t really when he bought it. He saw a cat with ginger fur and immediately slapped down a couple silver pieces for it. The owner of the cart had wrapped it up for him and that was the last look he got at it until now. Whatever flaws there may be, if there were any at all, Caleb didn’t seem to care. His eyes shone in adoration. He grinned at Molly. “Thank you very much, Molly,” he said. “I will keep her on my desk to be my little writing companion.” He ran his finger carefully over the cat’s head as though he were petting it. “Er um… if you _do_ find that cart again, I-I’m sure she wouldn’t object to having a friend.”

Molly’s tail swished triumphantly. He smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

When Caleb placed the tiny cat on his desk beside his typewriter, he did so with such reverence it was as though he was setting a holy artefact in its reliquary. Molly wondered if maybe he should have lit incense or even gotten into a position of prayer. That got him thinking about being on his knees and the sorts of things he could do to Caleb from there. Memories from a dozen sessions with clients whirled through his mind in an instant, all with him on his knees. Caleb hadn’t asked Molly to do anything like that. He barely asked Molly to do anything other than kiss him. Even though Molly was attracted to Caleb in a way he hadn’t been to anyone as long as he could remember, he also knew what it was like to have his desires and boundaries ignored in favor of someone else’s selfishness. He wouldn’t do that to Caleb. Caleb deserved better.

“Copper for your thoughts?”

Molly snapped out of his reverie. “Hm?”

Caleb was grinning at him, though it faded to a sheepish smile as his cheeks flushed a subtle rosy red. “Copper for your thoughts? Er… You… You asked me that, remember? When I was um, patching you up and admiring your tattoos.”

“Oh. Oh I guess I did, didn’t I?” Molly shrugged. “It’s just something I say when someone gets that—” He waved his hand in front of his face. “—look, like they’re stuck in their head somewhere. Did I look like that just now?”

“A little, _ja_.” Caleb further retreated into himself. “You don’t have to tell me, I just erm… never mind. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

Molly stepped forward and held out his hand for Caleb to take. Caleb hesitated for a moment, then laid his hand gingerly on Molly’s. Molly gave him a light squeeze. “It’s alright,” he said with a reassuring smile. “I was thinking about how this felt like a ritual, the Placing of the Cat or something. Wondered if maybe I should say a prayer, though I’ve always been rubbish at prayers. I just make them up on the spot based on what I want to ask.”

Caleb smiled more genuinely. “We could make up one now. Are we praying to the cat? Or on behalf of the cat?”

“We could try both,” Molly suggested. The mild discomfort he had felt from comparing Caleb to previous clients — and worse, comparing _himself_ to those clients and worrying he might unthinkingly act the same way they did — melted away from the warmth of Caleb’s smile. “First we pray to the cat, then _for_ the cat.” He turned to the little porcelain figure sitting on Caleb’s desk. He paused. “Um… Should we name it first?”

Caleb fingers tightened around Molly’s. “Frumpkin,” he said. “I want to call her Frumpkin.”

Molly nodded. He bowed to the cat. “Mighty and cunning Frumpkin, protector of the typewriter, we humbly stand before you and ask that you chase away all bad ideas and cases of writer’s block and anything else that might interrupt Caleb’s creative process. In exchange, um…”

“I will keep you free of dust and I will offer you treats if I ever need more specific requests,” Caleb suggested.

“Yes,” Molly said with another nod. “That.” He bowed again. “Welcome to your new home.” Then he turned his face up as though gazing into the heavens. “And to all who are listening, I pray that this cat never becomes scratched or chipped or broken in any way. Let… Frumpkin?” He checked with Caleb, who confirmed his had gotten the name right. “Let Frumpkin be an inspiration for our dear beloved writer.” He put his hands together, closed his eyes, and sent out an extra silent prayer, begging that the gods, Sehanine in particular, watch over their affair and hide it from the Gentleman and his associates so Caleb wouldn’t get hurt and the Cabaret wouldn’t lose its investor. “Thank you,” he finished.

“Thank you,” Caleb echoed. He smiled at Molly. “That was very nice of you. _Danke_.”

Molly smiled back. “Felt like the thing to do in the moment. Glad you liked it.” He sighed. “I should get going, though. Jester already gives me funny looks when I spend too much time alone with you. I don’t think there could be such a thing as ‘too much time’ with you, but… well… I am performing tonight, so…” He shrugged. “Are you coming to the show?”

“I can,” Caleb said. “I’m thinking that perhaps the townsfolk distract the dragon with some sort of spectacle — you know, while Stone comes to rescue Lucien — but I’m not sure what yet. I could do with more inspiration.”

“Y’hear that?” Molly said to the porcelain cat. “Caleb needs inspiration. Time to prove you were worth the silver I paid for you.” He was teasing, of course. Caleb’s delight had been worth a pocketful of platinum. The cat had already proved its worth a hundred times over. It made Caleb chuckle, though, which was what Molly wanted. He gave Caleb a brief kiss. “I’ll see you later, then.”

“ _Bis später,_ ” Caleb said. Molly could hear the longing in those soft syllables. He wished he could read Caleb’s mind. There were still so many secrets there. Caleb didn’t have to say what they were if he didn’t want to, Molly wouldn’t pry, but the more he and Caleb got to know each other the more Molly felt that beneath Caleb’s shyness and bright creativity was a sadness that could crush him if he bore the weight alone.

Molly kissed Caleb once more in farewell. He added a little purr at the end. It did its job of putting a smile back on Caleb’s face. Molly stroked Caleb’s side with his tail as he turned and walked out. He wished he could stay, but Jester was waiting and if he sat down with Caleb now they wouldn’t be able to drag him away until it was too late to get ready for the show. Even though he was coming to prefer Caleb’s company more and more over just about anyone else’s, he had duties and obligations that needed him more than Caleb did.

Except Caleb needed Molly in ways he wasn’t ready to explain yet. When Molly left, Caleb picked up the porcelain cat and sat down on his bed with it. He turned it over in his hands. No one had given him a gift in so long, especially not one so thoughtful. He hoped Molly loved him, but Molly still had yet to say it directly. He always answered “Yes” when Caleb asked if he did, and he said he loved things _about_ Caleb, but Caleb got the sinking feeling that history was repeating itself.

Caleb clutched the cat in both hands. Molly was kind. Molly listened. Molly respected him in a way Caleb hadn’t thought anyone would. Caleb had purposefully avoided telling Molly much about himself. Not only did he think the lesser details of his life would bore Molly, but the more “exciting” details were the ones he preferred not to think about, even though his nightmares didn’t give him much choice. Molly’s stories were far better regardless, all his tales of life in the Cabaret, the people he had met, the shows he had put on. But Molly listened, and he was kind. He gave Caleb a gift, and not just any gift but one that related to something Caleb had told him. Caleb had given Molly a gift too, so he told himself that Molly had only bought this cat for him so they would be even. That didn’t feel like the right answer, but it was the one Caleb expected was true so he convinced himself it was.

The board above the hole in his ceiling shifted. Beau frowned down at him. “Caleb, can you come up here and settle something for us?”

From behind her Caleb heard Fjord call out, “It was just a suggestion! If you hate it that much I don’t have to do it!”

“I say you _should!_ ” Nott exclaimed.

Caleb was curious about what needed to be settled. Whatever it was had certainly caused contention among his new friends. “I’ll be right up.” It wasn’t until he went to open the door that he realized he was still holding the little cat. He stared down at it for a moment, then clenched it in his fist and brought it with him.

The conflict, it turned out, was over a new accent Fjord wanted to try for his character. Beau thought it sounded stupid, Nott thought it sounded sexy, and Caduceus just wanted Fjord to use whatever accent would be most comfortable and easy for him. Caleb had Fjord read over some of his lines in the suggested accent.

“Ah’d be lyin’ if Ah said Ah wasn’ afraid of the dragon, and thanks to the spirit residin’ in my sword Ah can’t tell a lie. And Ah wouldn’ lie to you anyway, Lucien. Yer somethin’ special, and I don’t just mean regardin’ yer many talents.”

“You see!” Beau said, throwing her hands up. “That sounds so fucking dumb!”

“It does not!” Nott countered. She stood from her chair, squaring up her shoulders but still having to tilt her head back to scowl up at Beau. “It sounds manly and mysterious and I like it!”

Beau rolled her eyes. “Nott, just because _you_ think something’s sexy that doesn’t mean it’s the best thing ever.”

Nott wrinkled her nose and pursed her lips. “You wouldn’t know what makes a man sexy if it strutted up to you and flexed in your face!”

Fjord fidgeted with his pages. “Look,” he said, returning to his normal voice, “it was just a suggestion. To be honest, it was a sort of homage to my old captain. He talked like that and… well… he was quite the intrepid adventurer himself, so I thought it was fitting.”

“There you have it!” Nott said with a wild gesture. “There’s _meaning_ to it!”

Caduceus stepped in before Beau could retort. “Guys, please, there’s no need to fight. Caleb wrote the dialogue, so he would know better than any of us if there’s a ‘correct’ accent for Fjord’s character to have, right Caleb?”

Caleb rubbed his thumb between the porcelain cat’s ears. He didn’t like how they were all staring at him now. “Er um…” He shrugged. “I-I don’t see why we couldn’t try it. Fjord will learn the lines one way or another, and if we decide later that it doesn’t sound right for the part, he can try something else.”

“But do you think it’s _sexy?_ ” Nott asked.

Caleb twitched. He tried to play it off as another shrug. “Everyone has a different opinion on that. Some might think Fjord sounds best without an accent. I um, I agree with Caduceus; so long as Fjord is comfortable performing in that accent, he should be allowed to.”

Caduceus smiled. “Thanks, Caleb.”

Caleb nodded and rubbed at his forearm. “Well, if… if that was all you needed me for, then I should get back to work…”

“What’s that you’re holding?” Nott asked.

“Oh, this?” Caleb opened his hand to reveal the cat. “It’s just a little something Molly gave me. To decorate my room. I suppose compared to this place, my room does look very bare indeed.”

Beau narrowed her eyes slightly. Caleb felt uncomfortable in her gaze. He scratched his arm. She snorted. “It’s cute,” she said.

Caleb smiled uneasily. “Yes, yes it is. I’m going to uh… put it downstairs in my room.”

“Mind if I come down with you?” Beau asked. “There was something I wanted to ask you.”

“Oh erm, then s-sure.” Caleb wanted to be alone. No, he wanted to be with Molly. He had questions of his own to ask the tiefling, but he was afraid of the answers he might get. He was also afraid of what Beau might have to ask him. Beau was not the sort of person who let questions go unasked, however. It was best to just get this over with.

Back in Caleb’s room, Beau looked up to make sure the hole was covered, then crossed her arms and frowned at Caleb. “What’s going on with you and Molly?”

Caleb dug his fingernails into his palm. “In what regard?”

“I think you know.”

Caleb shrugged as casually as his nerves would allow. “We are writing this show together. He is helping me.”

“And that’s it?”

“That is it, _ja_.”

“So every time he’s come over here and you two have found excuses to be alone together, you’re just writing the show?”

“…Yes.”

“And every time you go over to the Cabaret and you’re gone for hours, you’re writing the show?”

“Yes.” Caleb didn’t like where these questions were going. It felt like an interrogation. It felt like he was giving the wrong answers. Panic bubbled in his chest.

Beau shifted her posture. “Yeah, nah, that’s bullshit.”

Caleb bristled. “And why is that?” He gestured to the stacks of paper on his desk. “We get work done, see? I always come back from my meetings with Molly with more pages.”

“Yeah, but I’ve seen the way you two are around each other. I know Molly, maybe not as well as some but enough. And I know you, not as much as I’d like to but _enough_. You’re different around each other. You’re more relaxed, and he’s less of a self-absorbed shithead. And don’t even get me started on the way you two look at each other, and the way you always end up sitting next to each other.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do.” Beau sighed. “Caleb, I get it. I was there, remember? When I went to sign our contracts Molly was signing one too, with that Gentleman guy who’s funding all this. I heard them talking about updates to their contracts while I was writing up ones for the Mighty Nein. That skeeze basically owns Molly now, or at least Molly is supposed to be at his beck and call and not take any other clients.” Her mouth twitched up in a smirk. “Are you an off-the-books client?”

“No!” Caleb was surprised by the force in his own voice. “No,” he repeated more softly. “I am not a… _client_ of Molly’s. It is… regrettably more complicated than that.” He turned the porcelain cat over in his hand. “I’m in love with him.”

Beau’s arms dropped to her sides. She stared at Caleb in disbelief. “Oh, _no!_ Oh, gods, Caleb, _really?_ Of all people, _him?_ ” She gripped her head with both hands. “You gotta be kidding, right?”

Caleb shrunk in on himself. “I am not,” he said, trembling slightly.

“Does he know?”

“Yes.” Caleb smiled for a fleeting second. “I think he loves me too.”

“You _think?_ ”

The voices in Caleb’s head echoed her, though they were more harsh, throwing those two words back at him like sharp stones. “H-He hasn’t s-said so, but he um…” He held up the cat. “He got me this. A-And he likes my poetry, and we’ve…” He trailed off. “I don’t know. I hope he does. He acts like he does. Sort of. I-I’ve been wrong before, so…” He hung his head. “I don’t know.”

Beau clicked her tongue. “Look, even in normal circumstances, I would tell you that being in love with Molly is a bad idea. Maybe you’re not the jealous type, I don’t know. Except now Molly is _contractually obligated_ to… ‘service’ a guy who pulls the strings for almost all of the criminal activity in Zadash, and _only_ that guy. If you two were just fooling around on the side, maybe that would have been alright so long as you didn’t, like, come out of his room with your shirt on inside-out or whatever. But _being in love with him?_ Even if Molly loved you back, the fact that the Gentleman demanded exclusivity means he probably _is_ the jealous type, and if he finds out that—”

“I _know_ , Beauregard!” Caleb interjected. He clenched his fist around the porcelain cat so hard he worried he might break it. Pain shot through his heart at the thought of accidentally destroying Molly’s gift. He carefully set it down on his desk then turned back to Beau. He couldn’t quite meet her eyes, so he stared at her left shoulder as he talked. “I am aware of the dangers, and so is Molly. He warned me the night we met that if the Gentleman thought I was interfering, I would be lucky to get off with a few broken bones.” He scratched his forearm through his shirt. “But… I can’t deny the way I feel about him, and he visits me nonetheless and he… treats me well. I-I don’t think he would do that unless he… um… unless he liked me enough to risk upsetting his benefactor.”

Beau was quiet for a moment. It was a long, uncomfortable moment. Caleb braced himself for a lecture or a scolding or even just a confirmation that this was all a bad idea and he should try to live without Mollymauk Tealeaf. Instead she nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“… _Wie bitte?_ ”

“Caleb, like I said, I know Molly. He’s an asshole, but he cares about the people at the Cabaret. If his options are playing it safe and following that contract to the letter or jeopardizing their funding by sneaking around with you, and he’s choosing you? That means something. He wouldn’t throw away this chance for just some random guy he’s working with. I mean, don’t get me wrong, when Molly wants something badly enough he makes some pretty stupid decisions, but he’s not a complete moron.” She shrugged. “Maybe he is just screwing around because he can, but there are less risky ways he could do it. I don’t have all the facts so I can’t tell you if he loves you back or not, but based on the way _Jester_ looks at you two? She can sniff out romance from half a continent away, and she looks at you guys like she’s already planning your wedding. Maybe she’s reading too much into it, but clearly there’s something there.” She offered Caleb a rare smile. “I wish you guys luck. Don’t fuck this up though, or we lose our chance too.”

Caleb stared at her, bewildered. “You’re not going to talk me out of it?”

“Do you want me to?”

“N- _Nein_ , I suppose not, but—”

“Then I won’t. You’re a smart guy, Caleb. And Molly’s pretty decent at bullshitting people. Between the two of you, maybe you can pull this off.” Beau curled her lip in a snort. “I thought that contract sounded shitty. Didn’t know how Molly was going to cope with it. Guess this is it. Be good to him, okay?”

Caleb was beyond confused. “O-Okay? Um… don’t you… hate him?”

Beau smirked. “Yeah, of course I do. He’s a piece of shit. But under that he’s loyal and caring and he makes an effort to improve the lives of people around him. So be good to him.”

“I-I will be.”

“Good,” Beau said with a nod. She took an awkward step forward to pat Caleb on the shoulder. “Glad we had this talk. If you ever need me to cover for you, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Caleb couldn’t think of any response to that other than to nod as well and say, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Beau said. Her smile hardened into something serious. “Like, literally, don’t mention it. The fewer people know about you two, the better.” She frowned to herself. “I should probably have a talk with Jester…” She shook her head then patted Caleb again. “Don’t fuck it up.” Then she left without saying anything else, leaving Caleb standing in the middle of his room wondering if Caduceus had put that weird mushroom tea in his drink earlier and this had all been a hallucination.

Caleb went to the show that night with mixed feelings. Beau had, in a sense, given Caleb’s and Molly’s affair her blessing, but if she could figure out what was going on between them then others could too. Caleb was afraid. Watching Molly perform, though, there was not a doubt in his mind that he was in love. He had hoped that one day his heart would heal and he could fall in love again, but despite being broken in so many ways, all the pieces of him loved Molly. He didn’t even feel like he was beyond fixing anymore, maybe. This whole situation was dangerous, but a life without love, without Molly…

He rubbed at the scars on his wrists.

They didn’t meet the next day. Caleb figured it was for the best. He spent his morning and afternoon writing, and when he was stuck he took a rag and polished the porcelain cat. He had promised to keep her clean, after all. He wrote a few different drafts of that new distraction scene. He could ask Molly which he thought would be best, or if he had any suggestions for something else entirely.

After a late supper, taken at almost the last minute that the bar downstairs was offering meals, Caleb went back to his room and read one of the books he had bought in the same shop he had gotten the book of poetry for Molly. Time flowed by the way it usually did when he read, and suddenly there was a knock at his door. He sat up, wary of who it might be. Anyone in the Mighty Nein would have knocked on the board in his ceiling, not his front door. There had been some noise from downstairs a while ago that temporarily bothered him while he was reading. Perhaps someone from that party had gotten the wrong room.

The knock came again. “Caleb?”

Caleb was out of bed in a heartbeat. “Molly?” Sure enough, when he opened the door, there stood the lavender tiefling, though his cheeks were flushed with drink and his eyes seemed redder than usual. “Molly, what are you doing here?”

Molly gestured towards the stairs. “Few of us came over for drinks. Bit of a pub crawl after the show. Except this is the third place we’ve visited and I think I had too much.” He pouted at Caleb. He did look disheveled, with his jacket unbuttoned and his hair tousled and a blotchy wet spot on his slate blue slacks. “Is it okay if I come in and lie down? Just for a bit, then I’ll be on my way.”

“Er, _ja! Ja_ , come in, have a seat.”

“Thanks.” Molly stumbled into the room. “Sorry if I woke you.”

Caleb shook his head. “No, no I was just reading.” He checked the clock. It was much later than he thought it was. Books did that to him sometimes, got him caught up in their setting to the point where he lost track of how time passed in the real world. He should have gone to sleep an hour ago. Molly’s sudden appearance had him wide awake, though.

Molly kicked off his shoes and lay down on Caleb’s bed. He groaned. “Gods, the room won’t stop spinning…”

“I’ll get you some water,” Caleb said. He took the cup from his desk, put on his slippers, and dashed to the bathroom to refill it. Molly was facedown and limp on the bed when he got back. “Molly,” Caleb said, lightly tapping Molly’s back. “Wake up, I brought you a drink.”

“…Huh?” Molly lifted his head wearily. “Oh. Thanks but no thanks, I’m drunk enough.”

“Not that kind of drink. It’s water.”

“Ah, then yes, I’ll have some, thank you.” Molly pushed himself up enough to take the cup from Caleb and drink. He chugged the whole thing in one go. “Gods, yeah, I needed that.” He flopped back down. “Sorry, don’t have my horn caps, so I might poke holes in your pillow.”

Caleb set the cup down and sat on the bed beside Molly. “It’s fine. I can always flip the pillow over.”

“I’ll sew it up if I rip it,” Molly said drowsily. “I’ll be careful though.”

“I’m sure you will be.” Caleb hesitantly put his hand on Molly’s back. The voices in his head hissed at him, but Molly didn’t protest. “Do, um… Never mind.”

Molly opened one eye. “Hm?”

Caleb blushed. “I was going to suggest that you sleep here so you do not have to walk back to the Cabaret intoxicated, b-but I’m sure if the others can make it back they can take you with them.”

Molly shrugged. “I could stay. D’you want me to?”

As much as Caleb wanted to admit that he did, Beau’s advice yesterday stuck with him. They couldn’t fuck this up. “It might not be a wise idea.”

Molly grinned and chuckled. “Good news, I’m fucking plastered. I couldn’t have a wise idea if you pinned one to my shirt.”

“Yes, but… what will people think? You walking out of here in the morning in the same clothes you wore tonight?”

“They’ll think I passed out drunk at a tavern and rented a room to sleep it off in. Especially if that’s what I say happened.” Molly rolled onto his side. “Or I’ll tell them I stayed with the Mighty Nein, since they live here. Technically not a lie, I suppose. You’re part of the Mighty Nein, right? And I’m staying with you.” He snickered. “And with the hole in your ceiling this is kind of the same apartment as the one above it, it’s just that the door is in the ceiling instead of the wall.”

Caleb smiled. “I thought you were too drunk to have good ideas.”

“ _Wise_ ideas,” Molly corrected. “I’m never too drunk for a good idea.” He flopped onto his back and stretched. “But this is your room. If you’d prefer your privacy for the night I could go upstairs. Or, yeah, someone could carry me home.” He put his hand on Caleb’s. “Of the three options I like this one best, though.”

“Do you?” Caleb’s heart fluttered in his chest. “Then… Then yes, you are invited to sleep here for the night, at least until you are sober enough to walk home under your own power.”

Molly beamed. “I appreciate it.” He yawned. “I think I’ll start now if that’s alright with you.”

Caleb nodded. “Yes, I should get some sleep myself.” He extinguished his reading light. There wasn’t much room on the bed for both of them. “I can sleep upstairs instead,” he offered. “Or on the floor.”

“Nope,” Molly said matter-of-factly. “This is your bed. I will scoot over.” His eyes shone dimly in the dark as he looked at Caleb with concern. “Unless you’re uncomfortable sharing a bed?”

“Um… a little. But it’s not— I can— It’s alright.”

Molly sat up. “Caleb, I don’t have to sleep here if you’re not comfortable.”

Caleb got under the covers beside Molly. “Really, it’s alright.” It wasn’t. The voices in his head screeched and snarled. He shrank into himself defensively, though there was no one there to hurt him. Molly wouldn’t hurt him. This was going to be fine.

“Well… if at any point it’s anything less than alright, let me know and I’ll go.” Molly lay back down, moving to the edge of the bed so Caleb had as much space as possible. “Good night.”

“…Molly, are you going to fall off the bed if you sleep like that?”

Molly adjusted himself. “Um… I might.”

Caleb reached over and gently pulled Molly closer to him. “You can sleep by me. We have cuddled before.”

“But that was _my_ bed. This is _your_ bed.”

“ _Ach ja?_ I hadn’t realized. In that case, I can assure you, so long as you promise to behave yourself, you can sleep as close to me as you need to.”

Molly paused, then scooted further into Caleb’s embrace. “Is this okay?”

Caleb nodded. “That is very okay.”

“Okay.” Molly sighed sleepily. “Then good night, Mister Caleb,” he said, voice already trailing off into slumber. “Thank you for the bed.”

“You are welcome, Mister Mollymauk.” Caleb gave him a quick kiss. “Sleep well.”

“You too,” Molly mumbled. “Love you…”

Caleb froze. “Um… come again?”

Molly’s tail coiled around Caleb’s ankle. “I love you,” he repeated, still a little slurred from intoxicated exhaustion, but clear enough to not be mistaken.

Caleb burned from his sudden blush and the rapid thudding of his heart. “I— I love you, too, Molly.”

“Tha’ss good…” Molly drooped in Caleb’s arms. Even his tail went lax.

Caleb stayed awake a little while longer. He couldn’t sleep after that. Molly had said it. He was drunk, but he said it. Caleb knew all too well that alcohol tended to loosen the truth from people. If Molly remembered any of this in the morning, they could talk about it then. Eventually Caleb grew tired enough to let himself sleep. He prayed his nightmares wouldn’t come tonight, or if they did that they didn’t make him jolt awake in a cold sweat, pleading or crying or screaming. Above all else, he prayed he wasn’t already dreaming.

Molly said he loved him.

Molly loved him.

It was a dream come true.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Molly helps him recover from a nightmare (and Molly confirms the feelings he drunkenly mentioned earlier), Caleb decides to trust his new partner with a bit of information about his previous one.

Molly awoke in the night to someone jerking fitfully beside him. He figured Yasha was having another one of her nightmares. This happened often enough that he barely had to think about what to do. He scooped the twitching figure into his arms and purred soothingly. As he took a deep breath in preparation for a harder purr, he realized that his bedfellow didn’t smell like subtle floral perfume and metallic sweat. It was a warm scent, earthy and alluring. And the voice that was whimpering soft words he couldn’t understand didn’t sound like Yasha.

Caleb.

For a moment Molly wondered if he was the one dreaming. Then he remembered last night’s plan. He had suggested the pub crawl. He had mapped their route so they would reach the Leaky Tap when he was already drunk. He had chugged both his ales in one gulp each so he would be too smashed to walk home. It seemed that his plan had worked and Caleb had allowed him to spend the night. That also explained the dull crackling ache in his head and the fuzzy sour taste in his mouth.

Molly held Caleb more tenderly. With utmost care he scooted up until he could tuck Caleb’s head to his chest so Caleb could hear and feel him purring. Caleb struggled weakly. Molly’s heart fluttered in a nervous panic. If this didn’t work, he didn’t know what would.

“ _Lass mich_ ,” Caleb murmured. “ _Tut mir… Es tut… leid… Bitte… Ich… nicht so gemeint… Lass… Lass mich… As…trid… Wo ist…_ ”

“Shh shh,” Molly said softly. He stroked Caleb’s hair and continued to purr. “Caleb, it’s alright.” He kissed the top of Caleb’s head. “Whatever you’re seeing isn’t real. You’re in your bed in the Leaky Tap. This is Molly. Mollymauk. You know me, don’t you?”

“ _Mo…lly…_ ” Caleb’s face contorted with such heart-wrenching sadness. He trembled and twitched and sniffled. “ _Hilf mir… Bitte hilf…_ ”

Molly kissed him again. “Yes, darling, it’s me. Wake up. Please, Caleb, wake up. Get out of there.” He had one other go-to method for pulling Yasha out of her nightmares, but he didn’t know how Caleb would react. He had to try _something_ though. Hearing Caleb plead with such hopeless desperation and not understanding what he was asking for pained Molly like a knife to the chest. He wriggled his tail under the covers until he found Caleb’s foot. He lightly traced his tail tip along the pad of it to tickle him.

Caleb jolted and shoved Molly with flailing hands. “ _NEIN!_ ” He sat up, breathing heavily. Molly gave him his space. It took a few gulps of air before Caleb looked around. He froze. “Molly…”

“It’s alright,” Molly said, keeping his voice low. “You were having a bad dream. I um, heh… I startled you pretty bad. You weren’t waking up so I tickled your foot.”

“…Oh.” Caleb scratched his arm. He didn’t scratch it like he had an itch. His fingers dug into his nightshirt with such force Molly worried that even Caleb’s blunt nails would tear it. “ _Es tut mir leid_ ,” he said. “Er um, sorry.”

Molly sat up beside him. “You were saying that in your sleep. _Es toot meer lied._ Were—” He bit his lip. “You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to. I’m guessing you were apologizing to someone for something.”

Caleb didn’t answer. He just kept scratching his arm.

“Hey.” Molly put his hand on Caleb’s and gripped it so Caleb would stop scratching. “Look, I’m sorry too. I just… Well, I couldn’t let you stay wherever that dream had taken you. Again, you don’t have to talk about it, but please don’t hurt yourself.”

Caleb let Molly hold his hand. He gripped it even harder than Yasha usually did when Molly woke her up from nightmares. Whatever horrors Caleb had experienced clearly affected him deeply. Molly’s natural curiosity prodded him to ask about it again, but he didn’t want Caleb to suffer. In the dim light from the windows he could see the fear clouding Caleb’s eyes, along with something he couldn’t identify but he knew he didn’t want Caleb to feel it.

“Do you need me to leave?” Molly asked.

“N-Need? Erm… No, not um… You don’t have to.”

Molly stroked the back of Caleb’s hand with his thumb. “Would you _prefer_ it if I left?”

Caleb was quiet for a long moment. He turned so he wasn’t looking at Molly anymore, which meant Molly couldn’t quite see what emotions flashed through his eyes as he thought. Usually Molly was so good at reading people, but what concerned him most in this moment was that, from what he could see, Caleb was simply concentrating on not having any emotions at all.

“Caleb…” Molly kept his voice soft, calming. “Caleb, whatever happened to you, whatever you’ve done, I don’t care. The man I’ve gotten to know this past month is… frankly better than half the people I regularly work with. If you hadn’t shown me your scars and told me about your family I would have assumed you’d always been a happy, talented, kind person from the day you were born. You weren’t, and that’s okay, because you are now, right?”

The silence stretched on another tense moment. “M— Molly, do you remember coming into my room or were you too drunk to know what was happening?”

The question took Molly by surprise. “I… I think I remember? I wasn’t too confused when I woke up here.”

“Then you don’t remember telling me that you love me?”

Molly raised his eyebrows. He dug through the dark haze that he had slipped into after that second ale. He had knocked on Caleb’s door, come inside, sat on the bed, taken off his boots, checked with Caleb that it was okay that he was there, and gone to sleep. The exact wording of their conversation was muddled, but he definitely remembered how he felt. He remembered how his heart had leapt when Caleb opened the door, the bubbling joy at the thought of sharing a bed with him, the concern that he was overstepping Caleb’s boundaries. But above all he remembered the pulsing point of golden light in his chest. It had danced like candleflame but it was as strong and sure as a sunrise. He had no other word for it so he called it love.

Caleb cleared his throat. “I am… sorry. I didn’t mean to um, to—”

“I said it,” Molly interrupted. He moved closer to Caleb, his hand still firmly grasping Caleb’s. “I said it, and I meant it. It just occurred to me now that I’ve probably never said it out loud and _I’m_ sorry if you thought that meant I didn’t feel it but I do.” He smiled. “I love you, Caleb. I love you in a strange… new… _exciting_ way. It feels good but it scares me because I don’t know how to deal with it. I’d like to learn how, if you have the patience to stay with me as I figure it out.”

Caleb stared at Molly. His carefully constructed mask that showed no emotion cracked and fell away. His eyes shone and his mouth twitched and his brow furrowed and unfurrowed as he seemingly felt every emotion he had been repressing all at once. “ _E-Echt?_ ” He swallowed. His hand trembled in Molly’s. “You really love me?”

Molly smiled. He leaned forward to nuzzle his forehead to Caleb’s and purr. “I do, darling. It took me a while to figure out, but I’ve tried to explain it away as so many other things and none of them fit, so all that leaves is love.” He kissed Caleb’s cheek. “I love your poetry, I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love how gentle and tender you are, I love it when you tie your hair back and when some of it comes loose and frames your face, I—” He laughed. “I could go on and on. Is that what you were having a nightmare about? That I didn’t love you?”

Caleb’s smile faded. “No um… I…” He clenched his jaw. “I was dreaming about… ehm…” He took Molly’s hand and guided his fingers across the thin line of pale uneven skin across his wrist.

Molly didn’t need another hint. “Ah.” He traced that line back and forth delicately. “Then yeah, absolutely, don’t feel obligated to tell me anything. That’s yours. It’s up to you to decide when to share it, if you do at all.” He smiled and stroked Caleb’s hair. “Whether you share it with me or not, I’ll still feel the same way about you. No one has made me purr like you do in a very long time. So long as you continue being the you that I know, then everything’s alright. Even if I knew your world-shattering secrets, that wouldn’t change a thing. You’re still you.” His smile grew warmer. “And I love you.”

“And _I_ love _you_ ,” Caleb said. His voice cracked like he was about to cry. Molly instinctively pulled Caleb into an embrace. Caleb held him tightly. His fingers dug into the backs of Molly’s shoulders. “Thank you,” he said, shaking.

“You are more than welcome,” Molly replied. He stroked Caleb’s hair a little more, purring quietly and soothingly the way Marion used to when he was younger and had trouble sleeping.

It worked. Caleb’s grip gradually relaxed. His breathing slowed. Molly had never had to comfort someone this much. Yasha just needed someone to confirm that she had woken up and then stay with her as she fell back to sleep. Toya had needed someone to help her get used to her new life, but she firmly believed her mother was “with the angels” now and wasn’t too sad about her passing. Caleb needed something Molly wasn’t sure he could provide. He wanted to be the person who could, though. He wanted Caleb to have someone to rely on who could help him and care for him and love him. A few puzzle pieces locked together in his mind. Maybe no one had loved Caleb before. Molly struggled to believe that. Caleb was so wonderful in so many ways, who _couldn’t_ love him even a tiny bit? Someone awful. Someone who had hurt him. Someone Molly hoped he never met because he didn’t want to go to jail for beating the fuck out of them.

Caleb relaxed further into Molly’s embrace. “ _Danke_ ,” he said softly.

Molly kissed the top of his head. “Are you going to try to go back to sleep?”

Caleb clenched one fist. “I… Sometimes when I wake up in the night I work until I’m tired again. But I erm… don’t feel much like writing at the moment.”

“Do you want to read a poem for me? Or maybe I could try to… to come up with one for you?”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Caleb said. “I’ll close my eyes and if I sleep, I’ll sleep. If I don’t…” He shrugged.

Molly kissed him again. “I’ll be here either way. Concentrate on my purring, okay? If you um… feel yourself thinking in a bad direction, come back to me. I’ll protect you.”

Caleb nodded. “Thank you, Molly.”

They settled back under the covers. Caleb’s bed wasn’t nearly as comfortable as Molly’s, the sheets and thin blanket felt lacking and the pillow felt so flimsy that Molly was afraid to move his head lest his horn rip it open. Even so, he wasn’t going to get up and leave Caleb alone like this. He got into a position he figured he could fall asleep in and held Caleb so Caleb’s head rested on his chest. He purred for him in a steady calming rhythm. That rhythm meant he had to breathe in a way that calmed himself as well, and he slowly but surely slipped back into unconsciousness, stroking Caleb’s hair until he fell asleep completely and his hand went still.

Caleb tried to follow Molly’s advice. When he heard the door slam open and Ikithon’s accusing voice barked in his ear he buried his face into Molly’s chest. When rough hands grabbed him and he saw them preparing the syringe he squeezed his eyes shut tight and focused on the gentle weight of Molly’s hand on his head. For every unpleasant memory that clawed its way to the forefront of his mind Caleb found something about Molly to think about instead and force them back.

Sleep came uneasily, but it came.

Caleb awoke snuggled firmly against Molly. Their legs were tangled together and Molly’s tail wove between them. What Caleb assumed was the tip had come to rest on his thigh. He liked Molly’s tail. He had never been friends with anyone who had one. It fascinated him. There were so many questions about it he wanted to ask, but he had no idea what questions might be considered inappropriate. If he asked Molly if the tail felt more like an arm or a leg Molly might just stare at him in disdainful confusion and bluntly tell him that if felt like a tail. Caleb withered at the thought of coming off so foolish to Molly. He resolved not to say anything at all.

Molly sometimes twitched peacefully in his sleep. It reminded Caleb of how Frumpkin’s paws or ears would twitch when she took her frequent midday naps in the sun. His father said it meant she was dreaming, and Caleb would watch her and her tiny twitches, trying to imagine what cats dreamt about. What did tieflings dream about? Caleb pressed his ear to Molly’s chest as though he could hear some clue in Molly’s heartbeat. It was a nice soothing heartbeat. Caleb hoped that meant Molly was having a nice soothing dream.

Daylight grew stronger. As the sun rose, the shadows around Caleb’s room retreated closer to the objects that cast them. Molly slept soundly and Caleb imagined what he must be dreaming about. Some of his ideas would make for interesting poems, so he made note of them in his mind to write down later. He didn’t want to wake Molly. He didn’t want to get up either. He had to know this was alright. No one would come into the room and catch them, drag him away to whatever punishment they thought would work on him that day. There was a possible punishment for all this if the Gentleman found out, though Molly did technically have a reason to be here. But it wouldn’t be ice water or electric shocks or _that room_ again. Caleb closed his eyes tight. Tears squeezed onto his cheeks. He gripped Molly’s shirt tight and focused on the steady heartbeat below his ear and the light twitches against his thigh.

After what might have been hours, Molly stirred. He groaned softly and stretched. He smiled at Caleb. “Good morning,” he said, voice raspy from sleep. He brushed a bit of Caleb’s hair back behind his ears. “Did you sleep better?”

Caleb nodded. “I did. Thank you.” He smiled in return. “You um… You helped. Your presence, and your… advice. It helped.”

Molly kissed Caleb’s forehead. “Good.” He untangled their legs so he could stretch again. “Mmmgh… Where’s your bathroom? I really need to piss.”

“Oh, erm… it is down the hall to the left, at the very end. Or if there are too many people in there, there is also one downstairs by the bar, but it doesn’t have showers.”

“I think I’m going to wait until I get home to shower, but thank you.” Molly rubbed his cheek on the top of Caleb’s head. “And thank you for letting me stay here.”

“You are welcome.” Caleb hugged Molly, hesitant at first but then he buried his face in Molly’s shirt and held him tight. “I hope you have a good day.”

Molly chuckled. His tail stroked Caleb’s leg. “Are you kicking me out?”

“I— Weren’t you leaving?”

“To go take a piss, yeah, but I was gonna come back afterwards.” Molly combed his fingers gently through Caleb’s hair. “I’m not the sort of person who fucks off at the first opportunity. Not to mention I still have a nasty headache that could probably be cured by a mediocre tavern breakfast.” He chuckled, and his laugh trilled with an amused purr, both of which cut short abruptly. “Unless you wanted me to leave?”

Caleb gripped Molly’s shirt. “No I just— I—” He sighed. “I thought you would have to, because…”

Molly nodded. “Because.” He kissed Caleb’s head. “You’re not my client. You’re a good friend who gave me a place to sleep off my hangover, and who graciously invited me to breakfast afterward, and I, as your grateful guest, accepted.”

Caleb chuckled. “Ah, is that how all this happened?”

“If anyone asks, yes.” Molly purred and rubbed Caleb’s back. “The truth is that I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Speaking of which, did you want to come over and discuss the script later?”

“I would love to,” Caleb said. He smiled into Molly’s chest. Molly was full of pleasant surprises.

Molly managed to extend his stay by another hour or so, which took even longer because right as he and Caleb were finishing up their breakfasts amongst the other tavern patrons, Beau and Fjord and Nott came downstairs and invited themselves to their table. Beau smirked at Caleb throughout Molly’s explanation for his presence, but Fjord and Nott accepted it without question. Caleb had hoped for a goodbye kiss. Instead, after a short conversation with the Mighty Nein, Molly excused himself back to the Cabaret. He did, however, trace his tail up Caleb’s leg as he stood from his chair, and when he bowed politely in farewell he smiled to Caleb especially. At least, that’s what Caleb hoped he was doing.

Caleb headed over to the Cabaret early that afternoon, hauling his typewriter case in one hand and a briefcase with the script pages so far in the other. He had an idea for a new scene, one where Lucien got so drunk during a visit to town that when he realized his time away from the dragon was up he ran through the woods and tripped and injured himself, but Stone had followed him to make sure he was alright and helped him craft a crutch from a nearby tree branch. It had the opportunity for some good comedy as well as a tender moment between the two of them as their romance blossomed. Molly claimed to be good at stage falls, but when he offered to demonstrate Caleb told him that wasn’t necessary, in case Molly did accidentally hurt himself.

Waiting to let him into the Cabaret was Calianna, a half-elf with clear draconic heritage that showed in black scales covering one side of her body. She was very sweet, he had found, but preferred her role backstage. According to Molly, she had originally come to the Cabaret because she acknowledged that her appearance made her a curiosity and thought it was the only place she would ever find work, but Gustav refused to make money by putting someone on display because they looked strange, so he offered her a job as a stagehand. Like nearly everyone else Caleb had spoken to about Gustav, she was grateful to him for his kindness. Caleb couldn’t like Gustav as much as the others. He resented him for giving Molly away so easily.

Molly greeted Caleb warmly when Cali brought him to the Dragon. He was in a better state than he had been that morning. His hangover had faded, he had taken a nice long bath that left him smelling like lavender, and he had changed into a comfortable wide-necked buttonless shirt and thick leggings. He was reading the poetry book Caleb had given him, but he put it down the moment the door opened.

“Thank you, Cali dear,” he said. “I anticipate we’ll be here for… at least two hours? Either way, I am _unavailable_ until further notice, alright?”

Cali nodded. She smiled. “Alright!” she said cheerily. Poor girl didn’t know about Molly’s contract. Fortunately, despite her demeanor, she was good at politely yet firmly convincing people to turn around and walk away when they weren’t wanted somewhere. If Molly didn’t want to be disturbed, then Cali would see to it that no one so much as set a foot on the Dragon’s stairs.

Once she was gone, Molly grabbed Caleb in a tender embrace. “I’m glad you could make it,” he said.

“Me too.” Caleb nuzzled Molly’s shoulder. His hands were too full to hug Molly back, but Molly could feel his affection regardless.

They got into their usual arrangement in the sofa chairs by the little table. Caleb unpacked his typewriter. “H-How are you liking the book so far?” he asked, nodding to the poetry book.

“It’s nice,” Molly said with a smile. “I still say your work is better, but maybe I’m biased.” There was also the fact that Molly never really read anything in the first place. Not only did he struggle with the written word in general, but there had never really been any books that held his attention long enough for him to finish them. He preferred hearing stories from people who had been there and experienced them firsthand, even if he could tell that a good number of details were exaggerated. It was one of the reasons he liked listening to Caleb read or recite his own poems; the feeling behind every word was coming straight from the source.

Caleb grinned bashfully. “Perhaps you are.” He reached into a compartment of the briefcase and pulled out a page with handwritten text on it. “I um… I brought another of mine that I… um… I wrote… for you? At least, inspired by you.”

Molly’s tail curled happily. He leaned his chin on his hand. “Did you? Will you read it for me, please?”

“Hmm… I could.” Caleb cocked an eyebrow at Molly and smiled. “After we have done some work.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Molly sighed. He smiled too. Caleb was fond of presenting Molly with rewards or favors he could earn with patience and cooperation. It helped them actually make progress instead of skipping straight to the kissing and cuddling. “I do actually have something to discuss with you.”

“Oh?”

Molly nodded to the gramophone in the corner. “Yasha picked out a couple records that sound like music she was thinking of for the show. The set changes and all that.”

Caleb nodded. They had agreed that there would be instrumentals between scenes and some light music to set the mood when there was an exceptional amount of romance or tension happening. “Would you like to start with that?”

“We can,” Molly said. “Maybe it will inspire you.”

Caleb smiled and his eyes sparkled like sunlight on water. “You do a fine job of that, but I suppose I should take inspiration from multiple sources.”

Molly got up, pausing to give Caleb a quick kiss on the cheek, and skipped over to the gramophone. Yasha had marked the records with bits of ribbon tucked into their sleeves. He picked the furthest one to the right. Winding up the gramophone was always the most fun part, in his opinion. He put some flair into the way he turned the little crank, hoping it would impress or amuse Caleb. The horn of the gramophone hissed briefly then the music began. Molly vaguely recognized the piece. It wasn’t one he played for clients often, though the more he listened to it the more he vaguely recalled hearing it while entertaining someone shorter. A dwarf maybe? Or a particularly rotund halfling? They all blurred together after a while. He turned to Caleb to ask what he thought so far.

Caleb’s smile had vanished, and with it the sparkle in his eyes. He was staring at the gramophone. His hand gripped the arm of his chair hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

Molly’s heart dropped. “Caleb?” The music. It had to be something to do with the music. He hastily pulled the needle off the record. It continued to make soft hissing sounds but the music had stopped. He looked back to Caleb.

Caleb had furrowed his brow in a slight frown. “You didn’t h-have to do that,” he said.

“Darling, you… you weren’t alright.” Molly sat in his chair, leaning over to Caleb, checking him for any signs of further distress. “Did something bad happen to you while that song played?” He knew the feeling. He couldn’t listen to some of the records in their collection because he associated them too strongly with clients who had hurt him during sessions after specifically requesting that music.

“Er um…” Caleb avoided eye contact with Molly. He absentmindedly scratched his forearm. “Not exactly. Um…”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Molly insisted. “I just… won’t play that anymore. Are there any other songs like that? Ones you never want to hear again?”

Caleb chewed his lip. “It’s not that I never want to hear it again,” he said. “But… I…” He sighed. “I always asked… Astrid… to dance with me… to that song.”

Molly recognized that name. It then clicked that he had heard Caleb whimper it in his sleep. He had thought it was just Zemnian words he couldn’t understand, but hearing Caleb say the name now put it all together. “Sh-She was one of the kids from your town you went to school with, yeah?”

Caleb nodded, still not making eye contact. “She was also…” He took a deep shaky breath. “She was the only other person I tru— the only other person I was ever _mutually_ in love with.”

“…Oh.” Molly didn’t like the way Caleb’s eyes were turning bloodshot, the way he kept scratching at his arm. She had hurt him. Somehow she hurt him. Or she was dead. Molly bitterly hoped it was the latter, then winced at what an awful thought that was. “I’m sorry. Did something happen?”

There was a moment in which Caleb did nothing. Even his fingers had stopped mid-scratch. Then he nodded again. “ _Ja. Ja,_ sss-something happened.” The corner of his mouth twitched into a fleeting smile. He sniffled. “But before that, we were happy. She um… She was also training to go into politics. Heh, she wanted to be a Lawmaster, b-but we used to joke that she would someday end up as the Starosta of our hometown. She was much better at parties than I was. I was um… I used to be good with people, when I was younger. It was why Ikithon thought I would be a good politician. I got overwhelmed at parties, though, after too long. All those people… never… never really thinking about the people they would serve, only their… own interests… their own… reputations.” He drifted off a bit, eyes clouded with memories.

Molly put his hand on Caleb’s arm. He was trying to anchor Caleb to the present, and also keep him from scratching himself again if those memories agitated him too much. “But Astrid didn’t mind all of that?” he asked.

Caleb shook his head. “No,” he chuckled. “No, she fit right in. And she was a wonderful dancer. That was one of the main reasons I agreed to attend most of those parties, so I could dance with her.” He nodded to the gramophone. “That song, in particular, Vostyr Silberbach’s _Abend der Feen_ , w-was the one I had figured out the rhythm to enough that I could keep up with her. Silberbach is from Rexxentrum, so his music was played there often. I heard this one at every other event that had dancing, and I always asked her to dance. She always said yes.” He looked at Molly. His eyes were even more bloodshot, and tears threatened to fall from their corners. “But that was a long time ago. I-I-I have not danced with anyone since.”

Molly got up so he could kneel in front of Caleb. He kissed Caleb’s hand and held it to his cheek. “Thank you for telling me all that,” he said. “It didn’t sound easy to say, and I’m proud of you.” He smiled. “I am most likely not as good at dancing as she was, since most of my experience is for skits where everyone is supposed to fall down or get chased off stage by a bear or something in the middle of the dance, but I’m good at not stepping on people’s feet, and keeping my tail from getting stepped on.” He kissed Caleb’s hand again cordially. “If you don’t mind, _I_ would like to dance with you. Doesn’t have to be that song. Doesn’t even have to be to music at all. But if you ever want to…” He let the question settle between them. He wouldn’t be offended if Caleb declined. One of these days Caleb might change his mind, and Molly would happily dance with him then instead.

But Caleb smiled and nodded. He sniffled. “I would like to dance with you too,” he said. “And this song is fine, though erm… I only know the leading position.”

“That’s fine,” Molly said, beaming. “I can go both ways.”

Molly got to his feet and held out his hand to Caleb. Caleb took it to pull himself up. Molly bowed to kiss his hand once more, then put the needle back down on the record. The music began again. Caleb was trembling. His eyes were slightly out of focus and he was staring somewhere past Molly’s nose. Molly let him contemplate for a moment. Eventually Caleb put his other hand on Molly’s waist. He looked up at Molly. Molly smiled at him encouragingly.

Caleb stammered, “I-I-I am ss-sorry if I am… a bit rusty…”

“No worries, love,” Molly said. He nudged his forehead to Caleb’s. “Take all the time you need, I’m right here.”

Caleb smiled, but there was still so much pain and sadness deep in his eyes that Molly could barely smile back. “Thank you,” Caleb said softly. Then he began to lead the dance.

His steps were unsteady at first, but as the song went on his confidence grew. There wasn’t much room in the Dragon for dancing, but Molly suspected Caleb wasn’t ready for sweeping ballroom dances yet. Mostly they stepped back and forth and turned on the spot, and once Molly learned the pattern he was able to take a little of the lead himself. The music swelled so he took wider steps, bringing Caleb with him.

“You know,” Molly said, “this is around when my cue would be to ‘trip’ on someone’s dress or get knocked over or run offstage. I uh… don’t actually know how to properly… _stop_ dancing.”

Caleb chuckled. “I will show you.” The song finished its climax, the boisterous horns and drums giving way to the delicate woodwinds and violins once more. It definitely made Molly think of a magical night in the forest, especially if that magic involved more dancing with Caleb. His heart was racing and the fine hairs on his neck were standing on end from excitement. As the pace slowed, so did Caleb’s steps, until the violins played their final note, and Caleb took a step back to bow, holding Molly hand so his forehead touched the back of it at his lowest point. He looked back up at Molly with a glowing smile. “And that is how you finish a dance. A-At least, that is how I was taught to do it.”

Molly smiled with a delighted purr. “Thank you for passing on your knowledge to me,” he said. He cupped Caleb’s cheek. “I’d like to kiss you now, if that’s alright.”

“Th— That would be quite alright,” Caleb replied. Something dark flashed behind his eyes for the briefest second. Molly saw it often, and he wasn’t sure what it was, but he mostly saw it before Caleb showed him any sort of affection. Maybe that would be the next thing Caleb explained to him. It was gone now, and Caleb stepped back into Molly’s space, tilting his chin up.

Molly kissed him gently. His tail swept around the both of them, loosely holding them together. Caleb put his hand on Molly’s shoulder. It was shaking. Slowly he slid it over to hold the back of Molly’s neck. Molly purred to tell Caleb that was okay. Caleb pressed into the kiss harder.

They stood there, kissing to the sound of the gramophone hissing and popping until it wound down. Molly was once again struck by how _right_ this felt. When he kissed clients it wasn’t something _he_ did, it was the character he was embodying for that session. He was actually himself around Caleb. He was kissing the way he wanted to kiss. Best of all, Caleb kissed him back the way he wanted to _be_ kissed. They weren’t heated passionate kisses, but there was love in them. It was new but Molly was already addicted. If he could, he would kiss Caleb every day for the rest of his life.

But, when Caleb pulled away, Molly didn’t chase him. He just purred and brushed his thumb over Caleb’s cheek. Caleb turned to kiss Molly’s palm. “ _Danke_ ,” he said. “That was… I missed that. A-And you are a surprisingly good dancer.”

Molly grinned. “You’ve seen what I can do on a trapeze and you’re surprised I can be even half that graceful on the ground?” he asked teasingly. “Hmm, maybe you just haven’t seen enough demonstrations of how much talent I actually have.”

“You mean there is _more_ to you?” Caleb stared at Molly in exaggerated shock. “I must admit, I am beyond curious to see how you could possibly have _more_ surprises.”

“Well, Mister Caleb, you are in luck.” Molly kissed the tip of Caleb’s nose. “Here at the Cabaret of Curiosities, we specialize in dazzling and delighting our audience with one surprise after the other.” He chuckled. “We just can’t do it all in one show because then things would get boring.”

“I don’t think you could ever bore me,” Caleb said. He stroked Molly’s hair, then brushed the back of his knuckles up the curve of Molly’s horn. “You are a fascinating individual, Mister Mollymauk.”

Molly lifted his chin proudly. “Why, thank you.” He smiled more softly and pressed their foreheads together. “And thank you again for trusting me. If… If you ever feel like telling me more, I swear by my tail, by my horns, by my very beating heart, that I will keep your secrets safe.”

Caleb took a long deep breath and sighed. “Someday, perhaps” he said.

Molly nodded. “Someday.” He pressed a tender kiss to Caleb’s lips. “Caleb?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.” Molly beamed. It was strange to say, and yet so freeing and wonderful.

Caleb lip quivered, but then he smiled back. “I love you too, _Liebling_.”

Molly purred. He embraced Caleb with another short kiss. “We really should get some work done, though. Eventually.”

“Oh? I thought you were providing inspiration.” Caleb playfully squeezed Molly’s sides. “Were you actually trying to distract me this whole time?”

Molly laughed and wriggled in Caleb’s grip. “I would never try to hinder you in your work. These things just… happen.” He coiled his tail around Caleb’s ankle. “But I’m glad they did. I like dancing with you.”

“I like dancing with you too. We could um… do it some more… later?” Caleb smirked. “ _After_ we have enough to show for our efforts today.”

“Sounds fair.” Molly reluctantly untangled himself from Caleb with one last kiss. “Back to work we go, then.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly accidentally triggers Caleb's PTSD but they work it out and Molly consults his cards for advice.

The warm breezes were giving way to chilly winds and Zadash was abuzz with activity as the Harvest’s Close Festival approached. The dark metal lampposts received a splash of color in the form of banners and fabric streamers, shops put holiday-themed displays in their windows, and — much to the excitement of the young and the disgruntlement of the elderly — a roller coaster was being assembled piece by piece in the largest square of the Pentamarket beside the usual carousel.

However, at the Cabaret, everyone was busy for a different reason. They were coming up on their last show before the building closed for renovations. The big finale was scheduled for a week after the Festival. To prepare for the upcoming construction, everything from the basement that wasn’t needed for the last few performances was being packed up and taken to a warehouse Desmond had procured to store it all until the building was ready. Molly wasn’t adept at heavy lifting, so his contribution was mainly helping to fold up everything in the costume storage that could be folded and put it in boxes, and what couldn’t be folded was carefully put into garment bags or padded crates. It meant Molly didn’t have time to visit Caleb, but, unfortunately, he was required to make time for the Gentleman.

Caleb worried about Molly in those days they spent apart. Molly wouldn’t talk about what happened during his new sessions, but there was something off about his smile when he inevitably changed the subject. It reminded Caleb of when Molly was reading lines and suddenly realized his character was supposed to be smiling.

Worst of all, the Gentleman specifically wanted a meeting with all members of the Mighty Nein to ask how the production was coming along. Caleb nearly refused to go. Except Molly would be there, along with Jester and Yasha, and Caleb wanted to be there to protect him. How, he didn’t know, but he was aware that he would throw himself between Molly and the Gentleman in an instant if he needed to.

It was clearer to Caleb every day that there were things he wanted to do for Molly that he… couldn’t. Not yet. Every time his mind drifted into the vicinity of those thoughts the shouting and the pain would grip him, silent and undamaging. _That’s unnatural. That’s unhealthy. That’s sick. You are a sick man and we tried to cure you, but you were a failure. Always a failure. Couldn’t even cope with how disturbed you truly are. You never should have left. You should have let us fix you._

But Molly was patient and considerate. The afternoon before their meeting with the Gentleman, Caleb lay with him in his bed in the Cabaret. The voices were screaming their vitriolic chorus, but Caleb had learned by now to drown them out with Molly’s presence. Sometimes, like now, when they were really bad, Caleb asked Molly to purr for him so he could press his ear to Molly’s chest and listen to that instead. He liked the many ways that Molly could purr. This time, Molly purred low and gentle, like a distant thunderstorm.

“I’m not looking forward to this either, to be perfectly honest,” Molly said. “I’m not going to be… _this_ Molly while he’s around. I’m going to be ‘in character’ the whole time and that means…” He sighed. His tail tightened around Caleb’s ankle. “Well, whatever happens, know that whatever I do to _him_ , I’d rather just be here with you.” He kissed Caleb’s forehead. The soft touch of his lips sent ripples of warm moonlight down Caleb’s back. “You are _far_ better company, and I actually _want_ to hold you and kiss you and listen to you.” He combed his fingers through Caleb’s hair. “How about a poem before we go? A nice fun one we can both be thinking about, to keep our spirits up.”

Caleb still wasn’t used to having someone who not only liked hearing him read poetry, but actually asked him to do it. “ _J-Ja_ , I suppose we have time for a short one.” Caleb nuzzled his ear to Molly’s chest. The steady heartbeat and soft purring calmed his nerves. “Would you like one from your book or…”

Molly kissed him again. “If you have a new one you’re working on, I’d like to hear it. Or you could tell me the one about the bear and the raven again. I like that one.”

Caleb chuckled and buried his face in Molly’s shirt. “But that one’s so… _silly_.”

“And I like it,” Molly said. Caleb couldn’t see the smile but from the way Molly’s purr changed he knew there was one on Molly’s face now. Molly scritched the back of Caleb’s head. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it’s one of my favorites and, as I said, a fun poem might help us get through this better.”

“Well, alright…” Caleb had written this poem on a tipsy lark before he left Rexxentrum. He had been in a mixed mood at the time and to spite the dark and brooding poetry that bubbled in his heart like boiling tar he had come up with a strange little children’s poem, lighthearted and somewhat fantastical. Even after he sobered up he had liked it enough to hone it into something more comprehensible, though the first time he recited it for Molly was also the first time he had heard it aloud and he realized how daft it sounded. But if that was the poem Molly wanted to hear again, Caleb would happily oblige.

Molly’s purr took on an excited tone. He held Caleb tighter for just a moment, then relaxed again. “Thank you, darling.” His tail released Caleb’s ankle so it could curl up around Caleb’s hips and stroke the small of his back. It was comforting. Caleb took a deep breath as he recollected the poem, and began.

“ _In the deep green valley where thick trees grow_

_A great big brown bear wanders to and fro_

_With a raven perched on top of his head_

_Nestled in his fur like a fuzzy bed._

_Stumbling and tumbling the bear moves along,_

_While the raven sings its loud warbly song._

_But the bear is old and cannot see,_

_And sometimes he will bump into the trees._

_To help him out as they take their long walks,_

_The raven will let out a warning squawk._

_All of the other animals can hear_

_So they are aware when the bear is near._

_One rainy day a branch came crashing down_

_And knocked the poor raven onto the ground._

_The bear couldn’t see where his friend had gone_

_But was too worried to continue on._

_A rabbit hopped by and saw the bear’s plight_

_“I’ll get help!” she said. “It will be alright!”_

_The bear sat down and he started to moan._

_Without his dear friend he felt quite alone._

_The rabbit returned, and she brought a few_

_Larger animals who knew what to do._

_Two deer took their places at the bear’s sides_

_So they could help him and act as his guides._

_A young fox picked up the raven with care_

_And carried him behind the old blind bear._

_The raven recovered after some rest,_

_Tucked safely and soundly into his nest._

_The bear jumped for joy and cried happy tears_

_When the raven hopped back between his ears._

_They still go for walks, this funny old pair,_

_Though the raven has learned to be aware,_

_While he is acting as the brown bear’s eyes_

_He has to check for what falls from the sky._ ”

Molly applauded. “I’m telling you, Caleb, you would be a _fabulous_ actor. You can already remember pages and pages of lines, and your voice has such a captivating cadence to it.”

Caleb blushed and buried his face in Molly’s chest again for a moment. “I… Thank you, _Schatz_ , b-but I… I erm…”

“You don’t want to be on the stage, I know.” Molly kissed the top of his head. “Stage fright is perfectly normal, and one day you might not have it anymore. Then again you might have it forever. Not everyone is fit to be a performer. I don’t think there’s a single job in the world that _everyone_ would be good at if they tried. Plays need writers, so here you are.” He rubbed Caleb’s back affectionately. “Though I think the fact that you would be such a good actor is what makes you a good writer. A _great_ writer. You have a unique talent.”

The heat on Caleb’s cheeks intensified and spread to his ears. “Yes well er um… I am very happy that you think so.”

“The others do too. We talk about you sometimes when Jester wants to know how the work is going. Frankly I think she’s hoping I’ll drop a hint that what we do is… not always strictly professional, but we get enough done that I can tell her about it without revealing how much time it took us to do that and how much time we spent… well, like this.” Molly scooted back enough to look Caleb in the eyes. His warm red gaze and adoring smile were like a balm on Caleb’s nerves. “I really do like just… being with you. You know that, right?”

Caleb nodded. “I am erm, starting to think perhaps you do,” he said, trying to smile teasingly. However, the thought of Molly talking about him when he wasn’t there, the thought of _anyone_ talking about him without his knowledge, made him nervous. He cleared his throat. “But uhm… unfortunately we do have a meeting to get to soon, and… well, it cannot really happen without us, can it?”

Molly sighed. “You’re right.” He got a mischievous glint in his eye. His lips pulled back into a smile that showed off his fangs. Caleb liked Molly’s fangs, but he was wary of this smile. Molly shifted to sit up at Caleb’s side. “Before I forget, I had an idea for a scene that maybe we could discuss today.”

“ _A-Ach ja?_ ” Caleb said. “And w-what is that?”

“Lucien and Stone’s first kiss,” Molly replied. “When they realize how deeply attracted to each other they are.” He straddled over Caleb. Anxiety prickled Caleb’s back like an itchy blanket trying to smother him, but he took deep breaths and kept his focus on Molly’s eyes. Then Molly took Caleb’s hands in his. “Stone wants to march straight to the dragon’s lair and kill it, but Lucien knows that even with a magic sword, facing the dragon alone would be suicide, and he can’t bear to see Stone hurt, or worse.” Molly guided Caleb’s hands up above his head and pinned them to the mattress. “So they fight, and Lucien gets him like this, and then…” Molly leaned down, dipping his head slowly towards Caleb’s.

But Caleb was gone. The anxiety collapsed into total panic that left him frozen. It didn’t help that Molly was gripping him right over the scars on his wrists. He hyperventilated. Sight and sound faded into a haze, but in the back of his mind Caleb heard them telling him not to struggle, saw them getting the jacket, felt the tears welling in his eyes as he whimpered stammering pleas to be left alone.

The weight on his body shifted and moved to the side. Someone far away was saying his name. Caleb shut his eyes tight. His tears spilled down towards the bed. The world rattled and pitched like a carriage careening down a hillside. Fingers gently brushed across his forehead. They were going to strap him down for electroshock again. He slapped the hand away and leapt out of bed. His feet landed on worn fabric, not frigid concrete, and when he tried to run he tripped over a chair that he definitely didn’t remember ever being there and he tumbled to the floor.

“ _Caleb!_ ” Molly’s voice finally cut through his waking nightmare. Caleb opened his eyes. He was in Molly’s room, splayed on Molly’s patchwork of rugs. He was crying. The urge to run still surged in his limbs, but he was exhausted. He looked back at the bed. Molly was staring at him in confusion and fear. “Caleb, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… Whatever it is I did, believe me, darling, I didn’t want to do _that_.” He reached out one trembling hand. “Come here, please? You don’t have to but I— I—”

Caleb took a moment to catch his breath. He crawled back towards Molly, too tired to push himself off the floor. His mind was racing. Molly hadn’t done it on purpose. How could he have known? It wasn’t his fault. Caleb had to make Molly understand it wasn’t his fault. In order for Molly to have known why that brought up such frightful memories, he would have to know what had caused them. Caleb feared that if Molly knew that part of his past, then this bright and delicate romance of theirs might shatter into unreconcilable shards.

Molly made space for Caleb to slump back on the bed. He made a point not to touch Caleb at all, which wasn’t what Caleb wanted. The voices were howling and his soul hurt. Listening to Molly purr while the tiefling stroked his hair might make it all go away again, for a little while. Caleb couldn’t speak, though. He could barely think through the maelstrom of screams and pain whipping through his mind. So he just dragged himself into Molly’s lap. However, as his tears soaked into Molly’s pants, Caleb forced out a quiet strained apologetic noise.

“I’m sorry,” Molly said.

Caleb weakly shook his head.

“I’m sorry anyway.” Molly paused. “Am I— Is it okay if I touch you? Or is there anywhere you absolutely don’t want me to touch?”

Caleb trembled and swallowed. “T-Touch…”

“Nod if that was permission to touch you.”

Caleb nodded.

Molly sighed in relief. “Okay. Okay, thank you, darling.” He gingerly stroked Caleb’s back. “Y— I know people who get flashbacks, sometimes. Not ones that bad, but I’m guessing I accidentally reminded you of something terrible?”

Caleb nodded again. He sniffled.

“Was it when I held your arms down?”

Another nod.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. Heh, doesn’t matter, I suppose. You got scared regardless, and I’m so sorry, love.” Molly rubbed his hand in soothing circles on Caleb’s back. “I get that you don’t want to talk about it, but I’d like to know where your boundaries are. You don’t have to tell me why they’re there. I’m just… a little… _playful_ sometimes and I don’t realize that even though I’m having fun, the other person isn’t. I’ve been trying to work on that.”

Caleb patted Molly’s leg stiffly. They _would_ have to establish boundaries at some point. Molly had to know that Caleb didn’t like being held down, didn’t like sudden loud noises, didn’t even really like being barefoot unless he was in bed. But then he might as well tell Molly that he was going to struggle with showing affection beyond simple intimacies until he could convince himself that it wasn’t a test or a trap and there wasn’t a punishment waiting for him if he gave in to temptation. At the moment Caleb was too tired to even think about all those things. They could talk later.

Molly silently caressed Caleb for a few minutes. He wasn’t purring. Caleb could understand why not. The request was on the tip of his tongue, though. Of all the things he wanted to say to Molly, that took priority over everything else. So when Molly asked if Caleb wanted a glass of water or anything, Caleb’s quiet blurted reply was, “Purr for me. Please.”

“Okay. Should we lie down together or stay like this?”

“Down.”

Molly nodded. He carefully curled himself around Caleb so Caleb could better listen to him purring. Caleb nuzzled his ear to Molly’s chest. The rhythmic rumbling combined with the heavier beats of Molly’s heart drowned out the noise in Caleb’s head. He closed his eyes and listened. Molly resumed rubbing his back, which also helped. So far nothing bad was happening to either of them. They couldn’t stay like this for much longer, but Caleb needed to be closer to normal before their meeting, and he wasn’t there yet.

“…Caleb?”

“Hm?”

Molly’s tail hesitantly curled around Caleb’s ankle. “I really do love you. I’m not… good at it, yet. Being in love. You don’t have to tell me about yourself, but I would appreciate feedback so I know I’m going in the right direction. Is that a weird thing to ask?”

Caleb shook his head. “You’re fine.” His voice trembled, but at least he wasn’t crying anymore. He was just so _tired_ all of a sudden.

Molly stroked Caleb’s hair. “Thank you for your patience.”

Caleb tried to chuckle. It came out as more of a hiccup. “Thank you for yours.” He held Molly tighter. “I love you too, but I am also not good at it.” They never allowed him to be.

“You’re better than I am,” Molly said. “Honestly? I feel like I don’t contribute anything to this relationship other than a place for us to meet and all the problems that mean we can’t—” He sighed. “You don’t have to stay in this with me if it’s too much for you.”

Part of Caleb wanted to take Molly up on that offer. He could step back and wait until Molly’s contract was over and in the meantime he would continue to unlearn everything that had been forced into his head. Except being away from Molly would be like being in a world with no air, a world with no color, a world where there always seemed to be something missing. Caleb was too deep in love with Molly to simply walk away. He shook his head. “No.”

Molly kissed the top of his head. “Then I’ll try harder. Whatever you need from me, just let me know.”

Caleb snorted a soft quiet laugh. “Time. I need time.”

Molly purred. “If I had all the time in the world, I would give it to you, harnessing the past and future to make the present last forever.” He kissed Caleb again. “I’d give you joyous days of sunshine and intimate nights under the stars…”

As much as Caleb appreciated that Molly remembered his poetry, _that_ poem in particular was salt in the wound at the moment. He swallowed and nodded. “ _Ja_. If only.”

“…Caleb, I— Again, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I’m worried about you. What can I do to help?”

Caleb shrugged. “This. It is helping, I promise.”

Molly nodded. “Being held like this isn’t… y’know, bringing up bad memories?”

“Nn-mm,” Caleb hummed. “I feel, erm… comfortable.” That was a word he hadn’t used to describe his situation in a long time. It was true, though. Molly wasn’t holding him in a restricting way, and his purrs were soothing. It was nothing like those days, those long years of agony. If anything it was so strangely wonderful that Caleb worried, not for the first time, that he was simply back in _that room_ imagining all of this. But how could he have imaging Molly’s scent? The unique décor of his room? The deep and unmistakable love he felt for him?

Molly draped his tail loosely around Caleb’s legs. “Would talking about the meeting take your mind off things?”

Caleb gauged how mentally exhausted he was. “A little, but um…” He balled his fist on Molly’s back. “I think a moment to rest would… would be better.”

“We can do that. And then do you want anything to drink? Maybe a snack?”

“ _Wasser, ja._ ” Caleb closed his eyes and nuzzled closer to Molly. “Perhaps some fruit if you have any.”

“Last I checked we had a few pints of blackberries.” Molly’s tail fidgeted. “Speaking of fresh produce, um, would you want to go to the Festival with me? Not just me, of course, but if you didn’t already have plans…?”

Caleb pondered for a moment again. “I erm, wasn’t planning on doing much. I— I haven’t been to one for years, and I don’t know if-f I could cope with the chaos.”

Molly kissed the top of his head. “I’d be there to help you. Would it be better if we brought everyone? The whole Mighty Nein? Then if things get too crazy they can, I don’t know, make a space for you? Ensure you have some way to get out if you need it?”

“That might work, I suppose.” Caleb smiled. “I do miss the games. And the food. I don’t know if they celebrate in Zadash the same way they do in Rexxentrum, but if it’s anything similar then there are a few things I wanted to do, if I felt up to it.”

“Have you ever been on a roller coaster?” Molly asked, voice tinged with excitement.

“Er… I cannot say that I have, no.”

Molly purred. “They just started bringing this one a couple years ago, but it’s _so fun._ It moves so fast but there’s so much going on that it feels like you’re riding it much longer. It might be too much for you, if you’re worried about chaos, but maybe you would like it.”

Caleb chuckled. “I have heard about them. They sound… intimidating.”

“You don’t have to, it’s just something that will be there if you get a sudden spell of courage. And you’re right, the food is always incredible. I’ve seen Jester eat half a dozen candy apples, one after the other. I don’t know how she does it. Her sweet tooth is even more powerful than mine.” Molly scritched the back of Caleb’s head. “I want to win you something at the games. I’m pretty good at Trebuchet. Do they have the Trebuchet game in Rexxentrum?”

“Where you stand with your back to a basket and you have to throw a sack of beans into it? _Ja,_ we even had that in the little village where I grew up.”

Molly’s purr trilled happily for a moment. “I’ll win you something from that.”

Caleb smiled and rubbed his hand gently on Molly’s waist. “I would like that, if it wouldn’t um… alert anyone to our situation.”

“I can make it look like I picked you at random,” Molly assured. He took a deep breath and let it out in a hard sigh. “Well, talking about candy apples has made me hungry. How about I go get you that fruit and a glass of water? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Caleb didn’t like the thought of being alone, but coming down from that panic had left him with a slight headache. “That would be good, thank you.”

True to his word, Molly was back before Caleb could truly miss him. He brought the water and a bowl of assorted berries. The two of them sat up in Molly’s bed and ate while they went over what they were going to discuss at the meeting. Jester and Caduceus had basic sketches of the three main sets they were going to need, the village square, the dragon’s cave, and a forest clearing with set pieces that could be moved around to look like different areas depending on where in the forest Lucien and Stone were meeting. Yasha had written up a quick simple sheet of music, which Molly doubted the Gentleman could read, but that she could use to explain the sort of music she envisioned for the scene transitions. Beau had been working on figuring out how to make Gustav’s dragon costume, the large one that he would have to partially puppet so they could have a “real” dragon on stage instead of just presenting Gustav as the dragon’s disguised form in every scene. They would have a better understanding of what the new stage was capable of after it was built, but this would prove to the Gentleman that his investment was not being wasted.

By the time they had to get going, Caleb had mostly recovered from his flashback. The guilt in his heart felt a little heavier. Not telling Molly what had happened to him wasn’t lying, exactly, but it was withholding important truths that could help Molly understand why Caleb was the way he was. Caleb wasn't ready for Molly to know that much about him, not yet. Perhaps he would tell him a little, about Astrid, or about Ikithon. Or his real name.

Molly worried about Caleb for the rest of the day. He didn’t show it, because he didn’t want Caleb to blame himself for upsetting him, but it was hard to focus on being flirty and seductive with the Gentleman when underneath his doting façade he wanted nothing more than to go back to his room and keep holding Caleb until whatever had frightened him was less than a distant memory. What made things worse was that Caleb had to watch as Molly touched and caressed and kissed the Gentleman throughout their meeting. He didn’t do it much, but it was what was expected of him so he couldn’t _not_ do it.

That evening, Molly lay awake in bed thinking of previous clients who had paid him extra to have him help them through some sort of secret trauma. Some had been abused, some had been neglected, some had simply held onto some regret long enough that it festered inside them and they wanted to act out what they wish they could have done in order to get some closure. From the way Caleb was acting, Molly suspected there were elements of both abuse and neglect in his past.

Molly could relate, to a certain extent. Someone had left him on the side of that road, and the fact that he couldn’t remember anything before that might not simply be due to his fever. Though he tried not to dwell on a past that simply wasn’t there anymore, he suspected that maybe he had chosen to forget everything, that whatever life he had before Gustav had been so wretched and horrible that the only way to move forward and stay sane was to start over with a blank slate. Caleb clearly remembered everything that had happened to him, or at least enough that certain memories could still hurt him if he go too close to them.

“Caleb Widogast,” Molly murmured to himself. “Who hurt you? Why? And can you tell me where they live so I can make sure they never hurt you again?” His eyes landed on the poster on his wall based on the Sun card. That’s what Molly associated with Caleb; enlightenment, vitality, happiness. But there were clouds Molly hadn’t seen before. He wondered if perhaps that impression he got of Caleb was simply an act, like the personality he had to adopt as he wooed the Gentleman.

Curious, Molly sat up and pulled his cards from his nightstand drawer. He shuffled them and asked very hard about Caleb. What was the best course of action? What obstacles could he expect? Was there any insight the cards could give him about Caleb’s past?

He did a basic three-card spread. A full ten-card spread would be more comprehensive, but the issue with doing readings for one’s self was the reader’s unfortunate habit of projecting their own expectations into the cards. If he tried to do a full spread without Caleb here to guide his answers, he would just make up what connections he thought made sense, and the more cards he had to interpret the more lost he could make himself. Three cards was plenty for a start.

Page of Wands. Creativity and passion. Yes, that sounded like Caleb. His deck knew who he was talking about, which was good.

Strength. Not always what people thought it meant, like so many other cards in the Major Arcana. It wasn’t a card of brute force, but tempered force. Knowing one’s strengths and sticking to them with utmost resolve, yet remembering to be compassionate so you didn’t accidentally harm anyone without the same strength you had.

The Star. Molly looked up to the poster he had based on this card. It was about regaining hope and faith, gaining inspiration, finding serenity in troubling times.

Molly laid the three cards out before him and tried to figure out what they meant. The Page was about Caleb’s personality, it seemed. Regardless of everything that had happened to him, at Caleb’s core he was creative and passionate. Strength was somewhat trickier, since it had so many interpretations. Did Caleb need strength? Was his deck telling him that Caleb was strong enough to deal with this on his own? Then there was The Star. Usually the last card drawn in a three-card spread had something to do with the future. It was a good omen, if it meant that Caleb would find hope and serenity. But if this was advice for Molly, then it meant Molly had to be the inspiration for that serenity, guide Caleb like the stars guide sailors through uncertain seas.

For clarification regarding the Strength card, Molly checked the top and bottom cards on the deck. On top was the Knight of Wands. Molly knew this one well, since he also had a poster based on it. The Knight of Wands was daring and passionate, full of flaming energy and occasional overconfidence. A few people had joked that this card was perfect for Molly, and aside from the lovely artwork of the knight on his fiery steed leading a charge with a gleeful expression, Molly had chosen to have this one made into a poster because he somewhat agreed with them. But on the bottom of the deck was the Ten of Wands, a card that meant taking on the burden of responsibility, being held accountable, choosing to do things the hard way. It felt like a warning that by trying to help Caleb, Molly was going to end up shouldering a great responsibility. He furrowed his brow in determination. He tapped the Strength card.

“So long as I temper myself and remain steadfast, I can help Caleb carry his burden,” he told his deck. “I may be overconfident, but if I’m going to be Caleb’s Star then it’s fitting that I should blaze as bright as I can to guide him out of darkness.”

Since none of the three worst cards in the deck had shown up in this reading, Molly felt assured that things were going to be alright. He would have to be careful about that overconfidence of his. He had been confident that Caleb would like acting out Lucien’s and Stone’s kiss, but that was not the case at all. But in order to play to his strengths he would have to find a way to temper his energy and passion into something useful. He pondered on what that might be as he prepared himself for bed.

What occurred to Molly, with a sense of what was either an odd coincidence or perhaps a twist of irony, was that all three of the non-Arcana cards had been from the suit of Wands.

And Wands were the suit of fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to my Tarot deck for providing Molly’s reading. 
> 
> When I was starting to explain the plot to him he spat out The Sun and 5 of Pentacles as a pair, which basically means “The friendly enlightened guy with Severe Problems?” And if that’s not Caleb...


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Harvest's Close Festival! Time for games and food and rides and an angsty cherry on top!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to Milli, who rolled for Caleb, Jester, and Yasha.

The sky was overcast yet bright for the Harvest’s Close Festival. Though the weather continued to grow colder, the day was warm enough that most people got by wearing light jackets. Molly wore his colorful embroidered coat because it had enough pockets to store whatever small trinkets he decided to purchase today, as well as the coin to pay for it all. Jester warned him that it might get dirty if they spilled food on it, but Molly winked and told her he had cleaned far worse stains from the silk before. Besides, he wanted to be noticeable. How else would Caleb keep track of him in these crowds?

Yasha struggled to keep up. Despite having the longest legs in their group, both Molly and Jester were in such a rush to join the festivities that Yasha nearly had to jog to match their pace. The sounds grew louder as they approached. It was a long walk from the Cabaret to the Pentamarket, and Molly did occasionally stop at the odd booth that had set up away from the main grounds, but that only meant he had to move even faster if he was going to have enough time in the day for all the fun he knew he was about to have.

The Mighty Nein were at the southeastern entrance to the Pentamarket, as agreed. Molly spotted Caleb’s auburn hair pulled back into a ponytail and everything else faded away. He headed straight for him, only deviating from his path to duck out of the way of passersby. Even Jester was far behind him by the time he reached their associates. Caleb lit up when Molly approached, which only made Molly smile brighter.

“Well hello!” he greeted them. “Fancy seeing you all here.”

Caduceus swiveled his ears. “I mean, we agreed to be here, so— Oh wait, haha, I get it.” He smiled proudly to himself for getting the joke. “Yes, it is a pleasant surprise that we happened to meet up here at this festival where there are a lot of other people we could have run into instead.”

Fjord patted Caduceus’s back. “Either way, glad you could make it. We just got here a moment ago.”

“Kinda surprised you didn’t keep us waiting longer,” Beau said. “Thought you would need a couple hours to make yourself look… I dunno, Molly-er.”

Molly flicked his tail and turned up his nose. “It’s a casual festival,” he replied. “Just a little autumnal eyeshadow and jewelry that’s not easily snatched off me by quick-handed thieves and I’m good to go. At least I bothered to put _that_ much effort into my appearance today.”

Beau adjusted her jacket over her wrinkled button-up shirt. “Yeah, because I don’t _need_ to put effort into looking good.”

“I think you _both_ look very nice today,” Jester said as she caught up. “Hi everyone!”

"Jester is right," Molly said. “We look nice in our own ways.” He threw his arms open to Beau. "How about we hug and call it even?" he asked with a grin.

Beau scowled and took a defensive position. "You know I don't do hugs, Molly."

"But it's a holiday," Molly said. "Come here, just a quick one..."

"I said no, fucker!" Beau said, swatting at him with an open palm.

Molly pouted. He knew she was going to do that. "You're no fun. I bet even Mister Caleb would hug me on a day like today." He turned his nose up at Beau and held his arms open for Caleb instead. He smiled more warmly. "Wouldn't you, Mister Caleb?"

Caleb froze. His cheeks reddened immediately. “Er I um… That is, I— I—” He swallowed. “I-I have heard you do give excellent hugs, so…” He smiled in return, despite the anxiousness Molly noted in his eyes. He walked into Molly’s embrace, gingerly wrapping his arms around Molly’s back. Molly tried to convey in that one simple gesture all the love and joy he felt at being able to spend this day with him. Caleb’s smile was more relaxed when they parted. “Okay, _ja_ , now I know. You _do_ give very good hugs.”

Molly smirked at Beau, who scowled in return. “I still don’t want a hug,” she said.

“Not even from meeee?” Jester asked.

Beau hesitated. Molly’s grin widened. Jester was especially cute today with harvest-colored ribbons on her horns and a necklace of beads carved to look like berries. Beau shuffled her feet. “Well…”

“ _I_ want a hug from you, Jester!” Veth exclaimed. She skipped over and got onto her tiptoes to give Jester a hug.

Beau growled in capitulation. “Okay, yeah, fine, _Jester_ can hug me, but that’s because Jester’s not _weird_.”

Jester squealed in delight and threw her arms around Beau. Beau blushed almost as much as Caleb had. She awkwardly returned the hug with a few pats to her back. Jester grinned. “Thaaank you, Beau.”

A few more hugs were exchanged for fun, and so Molly’s hug to Caleb wouldn’t seem so suspicious. Afterwards they took a moment to agree on where they were going to go once they properly entered the market. Molly and Jester wanted to go on the roller coaster, but knew from experience not to do so after eating. The games were popular, so popular that the lines were going to be long. The shopping booths were always interesting, from the farmers’ stands to the boutique carts to the simple tables where amateur crafters had a chance to sell their wares. Jester pranced on the spot, hopping from one foot to the other while her tail waved excitedly behind her, and asked if they could please please _please_ get some candy apples and look at what was for sale. Beau and Fjord were quick to agree with her and the others didn’t have anything more urgent they wanted to do, so their first mission was to find a candy apple vendor that wasn’t already swamped with customers.

Molly kept his eye on Caleb, though he did so in a way that wouldn’t make outside observers think he was staring. Caleb stuck towards the middle of their group, behind Jester and Veth and Beau but ahead of Fjord and Caduceus. Molly walked beside Yasha and gradually steered her so he was walking next to Caleb as well. Caleb did not appear too distressed by all the noise so far. Molly was on alert to either comfort Caleb himself or urge one of the others to do it for him if the need arose. However, his protectiveness couldn’t match his joy from being able to share one of his favorite holidays with Caleb. All the colors, the excitement, the food, only Zenith with its fireworks and performances could surpass it. However, Caleb had arrived too late to celebrate that in Zadash, but Molly looked forward to spending it together next year.

They managed to snatch up a fresh batch of six candy apples from the second vendor they came across, though Veth preferred the caramel apples so she purchased one and Caduceus didn’t want either which meant they all walked away happy. They walked through the Pentamarket. The streets were full of people, families with small children, couples arm in arm, small flocks of youths clutching tight to purses of money for sweets and games. Booth attendants called out to advertise their goods and services. From opposite sides of the market came sounds of music, one piping out of the carousel and the other an uncoordinated symphony of street musicians occupying whatever street corners were available. As they walked by, Molly tossed a silver piece into each hat or bag or violin case. There was also the sound of screams from the roller coaster, but they were screams of delight as much as fear, and Molly remembered the way he felt after riding it the past two years. His stomach was already knotting with excitement.

The line for the Trebuchet game was surprisingly shot, so all of them who wanted to play quickly took a spot to wait. Molly was up first. He took his place with his tail pointed at the basket. He hoped that would help him determine where to throw the little sack of sand they had given him. However, he glanced over at Caleb, intending to give him a smile that said, “ _This point is for you,_ ” but Caleb was already smiling at him and he winked. Rather than encourage Molly, which was certainly the intention, it made Molly’s heart flutter and he threw the sack with too much force. He heard it hit the ground with a soft _thpff_.

“Ohhh… sorry…” the Crownsguard attending the game said. “You have two more tries, though.

Molly smiled to hide his embarrassment. “First game of the day,” he said. “Got a bit too excited.” He sheepishly took the next sack.

“Wooh!” Yasha called out. “Go Molly!”

This time Molly closed his eyes and tried to visualize the basket. He heard another _thpff_. He turned and saw it had landed a few feet to the left. His tail lashed in frustration.

“One more try!” the Crownsguard said, handing him the last sack.

Molly gritted his teeth. He had to win _something_. Otherwise, how could he give Caleb a gift? There was plenty of coin in his pocket for him to play this game as many times as he chose, but the thought of standing here with an audience watching him fail again and again was _not_ appealing. He was so anxious at the mere thought that he overcompensated for his previous mistakes and the sack didn’t even make it to the basket.

The Crownsguard hissed pityingly. “Ah, better luck next time!” They turned to the line of people. “Who is next?”

Caleb stepped forward. “Uh _ja!_ I suppose that would be me!”

Molly trudged back over to Yasha. She clapped him on the shoulder with a sympathetic smile. Molly smiled back and watched Caleb take his turn.

The first two tries, Caleb seemed to struggle with the weight of the sack. He stumbled and fumbled and both times it fell too short. On the third try, to everyone’s surprise, it hit the rim of the basket then flopped in. Molly applauded and bounced on the balls of his feet.

Caleb stared at the basket in disbelief. “Oh!” he exclaimed, eyebrows raised.

“Congratulations,” the Crownsguard said. “You have won yourself a fine prize.” They presented Caleb with a single perfectly ripe strawberry.

“Thank you,” Caleb said. He smiled proudly, though he still had a look of shock in his eyes.

Molly had to hold himself back from hugging Caleb when he returned to their group. “Well done!” he said.

“Yeah, can’t believe you actually got one,” Beau remarked.

Caleb snickered softly. “You doubted me, Beauregard?”

Beau shrugged with a teasing smile. “I dunno, you just don’t strike me at the most uh… physically skilled guy, y’know?”

Molly carefully tapped Caleb on the arm, doing his best to appear nothing but friendly. “I’ve found that our Mister Caleb is full of surprises.”

Caleb chuckled. “You could say that.” He fiddled with the stem of the strawberry. “Um, a-after that candy apple I am not really in the mood for something sweet again, and I do not want this to get crushed in my pocket. Mister Mollymauk, I recall you once told me you were very fond of strawberries. Would you like this one?”

Molly’s tail twitched at the tip. “I-I um… Well I wouldn’t want to deprive you of your well-earned prize…”

“I do not mind,” Caleb said. He held the strawberry out on his palm. “You would appreciate it more than I, and therefore you should have it.”

Molly looked into Caleb’s eyes, silently telling him how much he loved him. “I can’t argue with that logic.” He took the strawberry from Caleb. His fingertips brushed deliberately over Caleb’s palm. “Thank you, Mister Caleb.”

“ _Gerne_.” Caleb smiled warmly, and the chill in the air vanished. All Molly could feel was the heat radiating from his heart and the burning urge to kiss Caleb out of appreciation.

The rest of their group took their turns. Beau landed her first and third shots, Jester got her first two but the last one hit the outside of the basket and fell off, Veth got all three and won another caramel apple, Fjord missed all of them though his last shot teetered on the rim for a moment, and Yasha only got her second one but she was pleased with herself regardless. Beau and Jester gleefully bonded over their winnings, dubbing themselves the “Double Berry Club.” Caduceus, who wasn’t interested in the games much at all, applauded all of the winners with his usual broad smile.

Molly had gotten back in line. He stepped up with his five copper. “Once more for me,” he said. He was determined to win. Fjord hadn’t won anything either, but Molly wasn’t doing this for himself. Caleb wouldn’t accept a strawberry, perhaps, but a caramel apple…

“Don’t hurt yourself!” Beau called out with a smirk. Jester shushed her.

“… _OW!_ ” Molly did, in fact, hurt himself on his first throw. He had tried to keep his arms too close together in hopes that that would improve his accuracy and he instead slammed one arm into his horn. The sack flew wildly off to the side, almost hitting a passerby. His friends laughed, so he tried to play it off like he didn’t care. Except then on his second throw he hit his _other_ arm on his other horn, resulting in a similar miss. “ _GODSDAMNIT_ ,” he shouted.

“Molly, what did I _just say?_ ” Beau teased.

“Yeah yeah yeah, fuck you.” Molly was fuming. Not only was he losing again, but he looked like a damn fool. Normally he didn’t mind making a fool of himself, though more often than not he was doing it on purpose. Now his arms and pride hurt and he _still_ hadn’t won Caleb a single bloody prize. He prayed for one good shot and flung his arms back.

“Oooooh…”

Molly turned. The sack had landed mere inches from the basket. He was already reaching into his coin purse when Yasha rushed up and hoisted him onto her shoulder. Molly protested, “Yasha no! Put me down! I can do it! I know I can!” His coins scattered to the ground. “Yasha, come on!”

“Nope,” Yasha said. “You can try again before you leave, but you need to calm down first.” She walked away. Beau had a shit-eating grin on her face. Molly flipped her off.

Once they had traveled a good distance from the booth Molly said, “I can walk fine, Yasha. Put me down. We’ll go do King’s Vault next, alright?”

Yasha set him on his feet, but kept an arm around his shoulders. “King’s Vault,” she agreed. Molly had an excellent record with that game. If he lost that, then he would really be disappointed in himself.

“Erm, Molly?” Caleb had walked up beside them. He held out his closed fist. “I um… I got the coins you dropped. Here.”

Molly cupped both hands to accept them. He momentarily caught Caleb’s hand in his as well. “Thank you,” he said. Gods, how he wanted it to be Caleb’s arm around his shoulders. Next year, hopefully. By then this new play might have earned them enough money to pay off their debt to the Gentleman and they could safely end his contract. For the time being, he would try to win something, anything, just so he could give it to Caleb.

The King's Vault was being run by a young half elf with her hair tied up. "King's Vault!" she cried. "King's Vault! A chance to double your fortune!"

Molly strode up confidently. "I'll play a round,"

The half-elf smiled. "Will you be putting down a gold or a silver today?"

"Just a silver, for now," Molly said. If luck wasn’t with him today, he didn't want to lose all his money to this and have none left to go back and try the Trebuchet again.

He put his silver coin on the table. The half-elf covered it with a cup then mixed it around with the other two. "Well, then" she said with a grin. "Which is the right cup?"

Molly smirked. "The one on the right, of course."

She lifted the cup, and there was Molly's silver piece. "Well done!" she said. "Which means you win another silver as well." She pulled the second coin from a little sack and handed it to Molly. "Congratulations."

Molly immediately turned and handed the silver piece to Caleb. "Here. I'd go win you another strawberry, but you said you didn't like them all that much, so now you can buy yourself whatever treat you want. You know, provided it costs less than a silver."

Caleb blinked at the coin in his hand and tried to hand it back to Molly. "Oh no no, it is fine, really!"

Molly shook his head. He held Caleb's hand in his, palm up, and pressed the silver to it. "I insist, Mister Caleb. As a token of thanks for your generosity."

Caleb smiled and sighed softly. "Well, if you also insist then I cannot deny you, Mister Mollymauk. Thank you."

Molly grinned. He held Caleb's hand in both of his a moment longer, then patted Caleb and stepped back for anyone else who wanted to play.

"I'll give it a try," Beau said. "One silver or one gold, right?"

"That's right," said the half-elf.

"Then I'll put down a gold." Beau smirked to Molly. If he could do it, so could she.

The half-elf shuffled the cups. Beau struggled to follow the one with her gold piece in it. The pressure was on and she lost focus for a fraction of a second as she thought about gloating to Molly when she won two gold instead of his two silver. That was all it took for her to lose track of the right cup.

"Alright," said the half-elf. "Where's your coin?"

Beau's eyes darted from cup to cup to cup. Why hadn't she tried to notice something different about the cup itself when the half-elf first put it down? "Uh... the uh... the middle cup?"

The half-elf lifted the middle cup. There was nothing there. "Oh, so sorry." She retrieved Beau's coin from under the left-most cup and put it into a different pouch on her belt. She smiled. "You're welcome to try again."

Beau wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, one more. But a silver this time."

She tried to notice some distinguishing feature about the cup her coin was under. Before she could find anything, the half-elf began shuffling. Beau blinked in surprise and once again lost track of her cup. She guessed the middle one again, but that still was incorrect.

"Again?" the half-elf asked.

Beau clenched her fists. "Nah, I'm good. Better quit while I'm behind."

Jester comforted Beau by reminding her that they were still in the Double Berry Club together, and they ate their strawberries as the group moved on to the next game. Over at one of the local stables, the horses had been cleared out to make way for the Eagleshot archery game. There were three targets set up, and one stall had the various prizes on display. Molly immediately spotted a felt red dragon toy that he knew he had to try to win for Caleb.

Veth tugged Caleb into line with her. “I’m sure you can at least get the easiest target, Caleb!” she said.

“I um… I mean I could try it,” Caleb said. He smiled, though shakily. “What is the harm in trying?”

Molly patted Caleb on the back. “No harm at all. And if you can wield an arrow as well as you wield a pen I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Caleb snickered and bashfully looked away. “No promises…”

There was only one person ahead of them, a little girl who hit the closest target with help from one of the two Crownsguard attending the game. She happily took a wooden sword from the selection of prizes for that target and ran back towards her parents.

Caleb opted to go first. He tied his hair up to keep it out of his face while he played. Molly bit back a whimpering purr. He did love it when Caleb had his hair tied back.

Clearing his throat, Molly walked up to the Crownsguard at the prize stall. “Say there, what do you need to do to win that dragon toy there?” he asked.

“The big one? Hit the farthest target.”

Molly nodded. “Thank you. I will do that.” He eyed the other prizes. They were alright. There were a few other toys that would be nice, perhaps. He couldn’t search through them too long. Caleb was about to take his shot.

Gods, he looked so elegant, pulling the bowstring back, lips pouted just a little as he concentrated, a thin lock of stray hair cascading down his forehead. He was aiming at the closest target, but at the last second he shifted, released, and _FFFPT…_

He hit a bullseye on the farthest target.

“ _HOLY FUCK!_ ” Molly cried out. A nearby mother with her child shot him an angry look and escorted the child away. Molly didn't care. He was madly in love with Caleb right now and the urge to go hug him was so strong it hurt. He had to stay outside the shooting range, however, even if he was allowed to show Caleb that much affection in public.

The two Crownsguard applauded. "Well done! A very good shot! And you've still got two more tries! You can go for another large toy, or hit the middle for a smaller toy, or the closest for a wooden sword."

Caleb missed both times, first due to a sneeze then second by just barely undershooting and hitting the wooden base of the middle target. He sighed and lowered the bow. “Well…”

Everyone cheered for him anyway. The Crownsguard at the stall beckoned him over. “Pick any you would like!” she said.

Caleb sheepishly looked at all the prizes, then pointed to the large red dragon. “I’d like that one, please,” he said.

"A red dragon for the red head, coming right up!" The dragon was made of cheap felt with button eyes and a little forked tongue sticking out of its mouth. However, it was firmly stuffed and it had cute little wings. Molly wished he could have won it for Caleb. He searched through the displays of other prizes, hoping to find something as good as that. There was another dragon among the smaller prizes, a yellowish-tan one that was probably trying to look gold. But then Molly saw it. It was perfect.

Beau stepped up. "I want a wooden sword," she said, eyes full of determination. She put down a silver piece. She hit the closest target on her first try, but missed the other two. She didn’t care. Once she had her sword she playfully attacked Caleb’s dragon with it. “Sword of Truuuth!” she yelled.

Caleb actually laughed and played along with her. Molly watched, smitten, until he realized it was his turn.

Sadly, his luck was not with him again, and he missed all three shots. Before anyone could stop him, he handed another silver to the Crownsguard. “Just one more,” he promised Yasha when she scowled at him.

“Knock yourself out,” she said plainly. “It’s your money.”

First shot, miss. Second shot, miss. Molly’s heart was racing. His tail lashed back and forth. He stretched the bowstring to get a better sense of it. This had to be it. This had to be the one. He took a deep breath and nocked the bow. He eyed the middle target, willing himself to find the right trajectory to hit it.

“For Caleb,” he whispered. And he released the arrow.

 _Thgdgdgdgdgd_ …

A perfect bullseye.

Molly screamed in relief and victory. Behind him he heard Caleb shouting in delight. That almost made the whole ordeal worth it, but even better was that now he would get the prize he wanted for Caleb. He strutted over to the prize stall. “I want _that_ one,” he said, pointing.

The Crownsguard nodded and retrieved his prize. It was, indeed, perfect.

Molly walked over to Caleb, beaming brightly and his tail swaying proudly behind him. "What do you think?" he asked, holding up his new toy.

It was a cat. At least, it was probably intended to be a cat. It had been towards the bottom of the display, clearly thrown in there in case they ran out of more desirable prizes. The cat was smaller than the dragon, but sewn from a similar felt. Its ears were mere triangles stitched to its head. Its tail might as well have been a limp stocking. The eyes were uneven, one being half an inch closer to its nose than the other. However, it was dyed to be an orange tabby.

"Looked like the sort of fella not many other people would give a home to," Molly said. "I think he's quite charming though, in his own way. I'm already smitten with him.”

Caleb stared at the cat, mouth slightly open. “He is… quite a sight.”

Molly hugged it. “Yes he is, very unique. I love him.” He smiled, gazing into Caleb’s eyes. “I love him so very much.”

Caleb blushed. He cleared his throat. “W-Well then it is a good thing that you er um… were able to rescue him from the prize booth. Like you said he… he doesn’t look like the sort of prize many would wish to take home with them.”

Molly kissed the top of the cat’s head. “Then he’s a perfect fit at the Cabaret of Curiosities.” He fully intended to gift the misshapen cat to Caleb later. His heart glowed with pride. He had an actual prize to give to Caleb, not just a silver piece or a strawberry. And he had won it with a clean bullseye. Even Caleb had hit his bullseye a little to one side. Molly had struck true. He was so overcome by his delight he didn’t even realize Veth had taken her turn until she walked up with her arms full of two plush toys and another wooden sword.

Their last game for the time being was Titan’s Grasp. Jester went first and failed to tip over the massive stone block, but then Yasha stepped up with the hammer. Molly already knew this was going to be good. He held his new stuffed cat tight. Sure enough, Yasha slammed the hammer down onto the fulcrum and the block didn’t just tip over, it _rolled_ over. Molly whooped and cheered. “That’s my angel!” he shouted.

“ _Donnerwetter_ ,” Caleb said, awestruck.

Molly laughed. “Have you seen the size of her harp? _You_ try hauling that beast around without incredible muscles.” He peeked at Beau, who clearly had a lot on her mind right now as she stared at Yasha.

Yasha came back with a hefty purse. No one else had moved the stone at all so far, which meant the pot of winnings was quite a handsome sum. “Lunch is on me, I guess.”

“Where to?” Veth asked.

“Hang on, didn’t we agree to rides before food?” Fjord asked.

“ _ROLLER COASTER!_ ” Jester exclaimed. She patted her stomach. “My candy apple is all good and digested and _I am ready to ride!_ ”

The roller coaster and carousel were set up in the largest square of the market, about a ten minute walk from where the games were. At least, it took them ten minutes to get there because it was hard to maneuver eight people through the crowds without getting separated. Molly always stayed close to Caleb. The music of the calliope grew louder and louder as they approached, and so did the sounds of excited screams.

“Have you ever been on a roller coaster, Mister Caleb?” Molly asked. He had asked before and knew the answer, but he wanted an excuse to talk to Caleb, to hear his voice. “I imagine if they have any in Rexxentrum they must be even more impressive than the one they bring here.”

Caleb smiled but shook his head. “Ah, _nein_ , we uh… I have not, no. Not the last time I checked.” Something in his expression conveyed unease. Molly wasn’t quite sure what, but he understood that his answer was tied to a sensitive subject. Caleb hadn’t mentioned anything previously. Molly wondered if he would ever find out what brought on these sudden flashes of despair.

The roller coaster was called The Swooping Griffon. It was a complex construct of wood and steel. The cart was designed with a griffon's head carved into the front, elongated wings painted on the side, and the crouching hindlegs and tail of the griffon carved onto the back. It had seats for about a dozen people, though the first two rows of seats were designed for smaller people and the back row was built for people with larger frames.

Fjord and Yasha all opted out of the roller coaster. Fjord claimed it was because someone needed to hold all of their prizes. Yasha, at least, was honest.

“I’m afraid someone is going to throw up,” she said. It had astounded Molly to find out that, despite Yasha’s hardened appearance, the moment she even heard someone throwing up she had to double over herself to wretch. It seemed like the sort of thing that shouldn’t bother her, but Molly didn’t judge her for it.

Beau cleared her throat. "Uh, Jester do you wanna um, sit with me? If this is Caleb's first time I don't wanna be there if he barfs and I definitely don't want to sit next to Molly."

Molly flicked his tongue out at her. "I'll gladly sit with Mister Caleb. I don't care if he throws up, so long as he doesn’t get any on my coat.”

Caleb’s eyes grew wide. “I would never do anything to soil your coat, Mister Mollymauk. It is a work of art.”

Molly smiled. “Thank you.” He ran his hand over the burgundy silk. The embroidery had taken him months, but sewing was a nice little hobby to pass the time between performances, and he and Jester and Marion tried to spend at least one afternoon a month doing crafty things together.

It took two more runs of the ride until it was their turn. The previous riders exited, some wobbling, some bouncing with energy, some clutching their stomachs or their chests. Veth was seated up front with a young dwarf and Caduceus sat in the very back with a somewhat rotund dragonborne.

Molly bowed graciously and gestured to the cart. "After you, Mister Caleb." He climbed in after him and wound his tail around Caleb's ankle. "Don't worry, I'll be here in case you need someone to turn your head outside the ride," he said with a grin. He pulled down the lap bar that secured them in place. It screeched as metal ground against metal, but it locked into position securely. The ride attendant came down the line checking that everyone had their lap bars down and didn't have anything on them that might get flung off the ride. Molly held onto the bar. "You can grip it like this if you're frightened," he said. "I find it's more exhilarating if you put your hands up during the ride."

Caleb chuckled softly and gripped the bar as well. "I think I’m good for my first ride to just hold onto the bar." he smiled and nudged his knee against Molly’s gently.

Molly smiled back, glad they could have this little moment of closeness. He tightened the coil of his tail on Caleb's ankle. "I've got you," he whispered.

The ride attendant made the last announcement advising everyone to keep their arms, legs, tails, and so on inside the cart while it was moving. Then he went to his control stand, pulled a lever, and the cart began to move.

They slowly rounded the first curve in the track. The generator was situated on the ground in the center of the ride and the noise was terrible, but Molly paid it no mind. They reached the incline that led to the top of the highest loop. He reached over and put his hand on Caleb's, which was clutching the bar as though his life depended on it. "Here we go!" Molly said as their cart climbed up and up.

The cart slowed to almost a stop at the peak of the incline. They were about as high as the head of the Dragon and Molly could see out over the rooftops of the Pentamarket. The world stretched out beyond that towards the horizon. The sky was hazy but bright and Molly was having the time of his life. He gripped Caleb's hand with a comforting squeeze. And then the cart inched forward and sped off down the track.

The ride lasted merely a minute, but it was a minute of fast-paced loops and hills and shrieked laughter. Molly put his free hand in the air to feel the wind rushing past him, or rather to feel himself rushing through it. Caleb made panicked noises, but Molly kept his hand and tail on him to let him know everything was going to be fine.

The cart pulled back up to the platform and Molly was grinning giddily. He wanted to go again. Caleb didn’t look too well, though, so Molly let him lean on his shoulder while they stepped down to let others onto the ride. Molly had let go of Caleb’s ankle, but he tucked his tail around Caleb’s waist to keep him steady.

“I think we should find him a place to sit down,” Molly said.

Caduceus nodded. “Can we do it away from all this noise though?” he asked, raising his voice.

They headed back in the direction of the market where the food stalls were. There were plenty of tables there to sit at. The smell was amazing. The air was thick with the aroma of cooking meats and fried batter and baked goods.

One stall in particular got Caleb’s attention. “Käsespätzle?”

Molly chuckled. “You alright, Mister Caleb?”

Caleb pointed. About thirty feet away was a brightly painted yellow sign with black lettering on it that Molly assumed read “Käsespätzle” among other things that he did recognize, like “Pretzels” and “Beer”.

“Is that what you want for lunch?” Veth asked.

“ _Ja_. I love Käsespätzle,” Caleb said. He groaned softly. “I haven’t had any in years.”

“What even is it?” Fjord asked.

“It is… like noodles, a special kind of doughy noodle with cheese and onions and chives. At least, my mother used to sprinkle chives on it.”

Molly swished his tail. “That sounds delightful. I would like to try some.”

They all went over and Caleb placed their orders. He spoke in Zemnian to the older half-elf man at the booth. Molly hadn’t heard Caleb speak more than a few words of Zemnian at a time. It was a fascinating language, and coming from Caleb is sounded beautiful. He had had Zemnian clients before, but they didn’t speak it to him, not that he would have understood it if they did. He wanted to learn from Caleb though. He wanted to learn so they could have entire conversations in Zemnian and he could sit and listen to Caleb talk for hours.

Caduceus picked up a veggie and hummus wrap from the neighboring booth, and they all had a pretzel each from the Zemnian food stall as well as five servings of Käsespätzle to share amongst themselves. A table large enough to accommodate them all became available after a lap around the seating area and both Veth and Beau darted over to claim it. It was nice to sit down. All that walking was starting to hurt Molly’s feet. However, not one bite into his pretzel, Fjord passed out face-first onto the table.

"Oh, godsdamnit, Fjord," Beau sighed. " _Now?_ You gotta do this _now?_ " She rolled her eyes then gingerly patted his back. "Yeah, yeah, I know, you can't control it, but seriously.”

“I call dibs on the rest of his pretzel if he doesn’t wake up by the time I’m done my food,” Molly said.

“Doesn’t he have any medicine he can take so this doesn’t happen?” Yasha asked.

“Not really,” Beau said. “Caduceus has a tea he makes for him before he goes to work that’s supposed to help so he doesn’t pass out while he’s lifting stuff, but he didn’t have any today.” She wrinkled her nose. “Agh, gross, he’s drooling on the table.”

Molly took his first bite of Käsespätzle. It smelled wonderful, but the taste and texture was even better. His tail curled in delight. “ _Mmmmhh…_ ” He shoved another spoonful in his mouth. It was like eating the pure essence of savory cheesy goodness. “Caleb, I can see why you love this stuff.”

Caleb smiled blissfully through his own mouthful. “It was my favorite food growing up.”

Everyone else who tried it agreed it was delicious. Even Caduceus, who generally didn’t eat anything with meat or dairy in it, tried a little bite. “I like the onions,” he remarked. “And the noodles are a very interesting texture.” However, he was much happier eating his hummus wrap.

Right as Molly was asking who wanted to split Fjord’s pretzel with him, Fjord woke up. His cheek glistened from lying in the puddle of his own drool. “Huh wha— what happened?”

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” Jester said cheerily. “Your pretzel was so good you passed out.”

Fjord frowned at the pretzel in front of him. “…Oh. I mean— I— Um—” He cleared his throat. “It is a good pretzel, I suppose.”

“Dude, you have to try some of this kazy-whatever,” Beau said. “It’s like, the best comfort food ever.”

They finished their lunch and headed back out into the rest of the festival. They headed in a direction they hadn’t gone yet. Molly asked Caleb about other Zemnian foods he had as a kid. Though there was that vague hint of discomfort in his expression, Caleb smiled and told them about the bakery down the street from where he lived and how it was his job every morning to walk down there with his three copper pieces and get rolls for his family’s breakfast.

Down one street there was a crowd gathered around what first appeared to be a small wooden house that had appeared on the sidewalk, but Molly hopped onto Yasha’s shoulders to see over sea of people and noticed it had a set of wheels and tongue to be hooked up to horses or oxen, whichever were strong enough to pull it. A big sign on the side read “Fizzleflash Photographers”, or so Yasha said when Molly asked her. A gnome walked up a set of stairs to the door of the mobile shed, knocked, and after a moment was allowed in as another gnome came out. A third gnome with the same frizzy brown hair as the other two was ushering a young couple over to a place where a temporary wall had been set up with lights pointed at it.

“Photographers!” Molly exclaimed, patting Yasha excitedly. “They’ve got a photography booth set up! Gods, it’s been ages since I’ve had my photograph taken! Not since Gustav hired that one dwarf who took those photos of the performers to sell for souvenirs in the lobby.”

“Well, it looks like there’s a line but we can definitely go get ours taken,” Yasha said. “Unless you want one of just you?”

Molly knew exactly the photo he wanted to take. “We can talk about it. Looks like the booth is only large enough to fit a couple people at a time, so we can’t all go at once. I hope they won’t mind if we show up as a group and mix around who gets pictures with whom…”

Everyone wanted their picture taken. Beau asked one of the gnomes, who introduced himself as Oswald Fizzleflash, if it would be alright if they all got pictures in twos and threes but some of them ended up getting their photo taken more than once.

“So long as you’ve got the coin for it,” Oswald said. “One silver per photograph, five copper for extra copies.”

Yasha held up her bag of Titan’s Grasp winnings. Paying for their lunch had barely put a dent in it. “We’ll be fine.”

Oswald grinned. His thick mustache appeared to grow even fluffier. “Yes, miss, I do think you will be. Right this way!”

Molly got a picture taken with Yasha and one with Jester. They somehow squeezed all five members of the Mighty Nein into the little booth — though Caduceus had to be kneeling in front next to Veth — for a group photo, and that was the only one Caleb was in. While Jester and Beau got a picture to commemorate their Double Berry Club, Molly walked up to Caleb.

“Mister Caleb, I would be honored to get a photo with the writer of our first big play.”

Caleb’s cheeks turned pink. “Oh, well, er… I uh… I would be honored to have my photo taken with you as well, Mister Mollymauk. After all, I-I would not have had the chance to write this play without you.”

Molly beamed. “Shall we go next then?”

Caleb nodded with his own lovely smile. “ _Ja, ja_ we can do that.”

The two of them stepped into the booth, leaving their plush toys outside with Yasha. Caleb stood stiffly by Molly’s side. “Come now, Mister Caleb,” Molly said. “Do you want people to see this photo years in the future and think that we were uncomfortable around each other? We’ve known each other long enough that you can come a little closer.”

Caleb shuffled over. “Like this?”

Molly put his arm around Caleb’s shoulders. “Like this, if you don’t mind.”

Caleb blushed again. He nibbled his lower lip. “I-Is that going to be alright?” he asked quietly.

“I won’t show anyone if you don’t,” Molly replied, grinning.

After a heartbeat of hesitation, Caleb put his arm around Molly’s waist. He smiled. “Okay.”

“Alright, fellas,” Oswald said. “Look this way!”

There was a bight flash that left stars winking in Molly’s vision. He didn’t care. He had just gotten his photo taken with Caleb. He was going to have a photo of the two of them together. He would have to keep it somewhere safe, of course, but on nights after dull or dreadful sessions with the Gentleman it would be nice to go back to his room and see Caleb’s smiling face, even if it was just a flat image on paper.

They had to wait until all the photos were developed, but sooner than expected another member of the Fizzleflash family approached them with a thick envelope. “Here you are!” he said. “They’re all organized for ya.”

Beau took them out and quickly thumbed through them, counting to make sure there were enough copies of each. She nodded. “Thanks,” she said. She tipped him a silver piece.

“Thank _you_ ,” he replied. Before he could leave, Molly tipped him another gold piece. His jaw dropped. “Thank you _very much!_ ”

Molly grinned. “Keep up the good work,” he said.

Since not everyone had a secure place to put their photographs, they agreed to stop at the Leaky Tap for drinks when they were all finished and divide them up then. In the meantime, they had shopping to do. Fjord didn’t look pleased about it, but when Jester looped her arm around his and began to lead him towards the stalls, his demeanor brightened.

Molly’s pockets were full and his purse was nearly empty by the time they finished. He bought many new items of jewelry, some knick-knacks for his shelves, a few useful things, and box of assorted pints of berries. Mainly he was trying to support everyone who had come out to sell their wares today. Some of them relied on festivals like this one to earn most of their money. Molly was happy to help.

They happened to pass by the Trebuchet booth on their way out of the Pentamarket and Molly paused in his tracks. After confirming with the group he went over for one more try. There was a different Crownsguard attending it, which was good. They wouldn’t know how badly he had failed before.

Molly was relaxed now. He had already won something for Caleb. Two things, including the silver piece. This was just to prove that he could get the sack in the basket at least once.

And he did. And he did it again, and again. The others applauded with amazement. Molly grinned. He pulled two more copper from his purse. “Can I just throw one more?” he asked.

The Crownsguard took his copper and handed him another sack. “Alright, but you’ve already won the apple.”

“I know, but I want a strawberry.”

“You’ve got strawberries right here!” Beau said, pointing to the box he had left with them.

Molly stuck his tongue out at her. “It’s not the same!” he called back. He took his position, remembered how he had stood the past three times, and threw the sack up behind him. He made it into the basket again. “ _YES!_ ” he exclaimed. His tail swished and swirled and looped with delight. He took his candy apple and strawberry and skipped back over. He handed the apple over to Caleb. “For you,” he said. “If you’re still hungry after today.”

Caleb smiled. “I… could find room in my stomach for more, I suppose.” He took the apple from Molly. The stick wasn’t very long, so their hands brushed together, sending a tingle down Molly’s arm. Soon they would be back in the Leaky Tap, and hopefully he and Caleb could have a moment to themselves there.

While the Mighty Nein went up to their rooms to drop off all their things, Molly made the excuse that he needed to use the restroom, though he waited until he saw someone heading towards the small bathroom on the ground floor so he would have to use the one upstairs. Jester grinned at him, and Yasha just said, “Don’t cause any mischief.”

“Mischief? Me?” Molly chuckled. “I’m not Jester.”

Jester wrinkled her nose, but resumed her grin right after.

Molly brought the stuffed cat with him. He knocked on Caleb’s door, which opened for him before he could finish. With the door shut, Molly scooped Caleb into his arms for a loving embrace. “Gods, what a day,” he said. He kissed Caleb’s cheek. “I had fun. Did you have fun?”

Caleb smiled. “Yes, Molly, I had a lot of fun.” He hesitantly leaned in and pressed his lips to Molly’s. Molly kissed him back tenderly. It was like a beam of sunshine breaking through the clouds. He purred.

“I technically got this for you,” Molly said, holding up the stuffed cat.

Caleb chuckled and kissed Molly again. “You can keep it, unless you do not want it.”

Molly bit his lip. “Well, I was _going_ to win the dragon for you, but then… y’know…”

Caleb nodded. “Which is odd because _I_ won it for _you_.”

“Really?” Molly asked with a grin.

“Mhm, though I wasn’t sure how I was going to get it to you. Perhaps we can simply tell everyone we traded?”

“We can do that.” Molly kissed Caleb once more. “I love you.”

“I love you too, _mein Schatz_.”

Molly thought he was so in love it was making him light-headed. Then the world tilted and he stumbled. “Oh…” His knee gave out and he collapsed forward onto Caleb.

Caleb gripped him tight. “Molly?” His voice was panicked. “Molly? _Bist du okay?_ ”

“Nnngh… water…” Molly swallowed. “I didn’t drink enough water today…”

“Okay. Okay. Water. I can get you water. _Komm hier, setzt dich._ ” Caleb took Molly to the bed and had him lie down. “I’ll be right back, okay?” He smoothed some of the hair off Molly’s forehead. “It’s going to be okay.”

Molly laughed weakly. “I know, I’m just thirsty, darling.”

That did nothing to calm Caleb’s worry. “I’ll be right back,” he repeated. Then he dashed out of the room.

Molly was still holding the stuffed cat. He clutched it to his chest. He felt almost drunk, but as though he had drank an entire cask in one gulp and the drunkenness had hit him all at once. He wondered if that was what Fjord felt before he passed out. At least this time he hadn’t passed out as well. Poor Caleb would have thrown an even worse fit.

Caleb came back with a glass of water and Yasha and Jester. “Molly!” Jester exclaimed. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know, too much excitement, not enough water,” Molly said. “Fortunately Caleb was there to help me when he found me in the hall. I just need a moment.” He sat up. His head still tried to convince him that the floor was at a completely different angle. The water felt good on his parched throat. He really should have been drinking water throughout the day. “Thank you,” he said to Caleb.

Caleb was panting. “Please don’t scare me like that again,” he said. The pained pleading in his voice was almost too much for Molly to bear.

“Not if I can help it,” Molly said, giving him a reassuring smile.

Jester put her hands on her hips. “So are you two in love with each other or what?”

“ _Jester!_ ” Yasha said.

“What?”

Molly looked to Caleb. Caleb was already red from running down and up the stairs, but it was getting worse. “I…” Molly licked his lips and drank more water. “I think you already know.”

Jester squealed. “I _knew_ it! I _knew_ it! You two are _so totally in love!_ ”

“Yes, but you know what will happen if the Gentleman finds out my affections lie elsewhere,” Molly said in a warning tone.

“Yeah, but there that just makes it _forbidden love!_ One of the best, most _romantic_ kinds of love!” Jester put her finger over her lips. “I promise not to tell anyone though. Your secret is safe with me.”

Molly nodded. “It had better be.”

“What? Oh, come on, Molly, you think I would tell everyone that you and Caleb are sneaking around to make out? That would _ruin_ it! And also yeah we would lose all our funding and stuff probably…”

Molly finished the rest of his water. He felt a little better. “Caleb?”

Caleb rubbed at his forearm. “Yes, the fewer people who know about this, the better,” he said quietly. He nodded. “But I do love Molly very much.”

“And I love Caleb.” Molly reached out for Caleb’s hand. Caleb stared at him for a moment, then took Molly’s hand like he expected it to burn him. He relaxed when it didn’t. Molly felt a pang in his heart nonetheless.

It took about fifteen minutes before Molly was well enough to get up. He accepted Yasha’s offer as a support while they walked back downstairs. Molly acted like nothing had happened, and soon they were back to talking and laughing and discussing their favorite parts of the day. They divided up their photographs. Molly quickly tucked the one of him and Caleb away in one of his pockets, though the brief glimpse he got of it sent butterflies fluttering through his stomach.

Molly didn’t drink much that night, other than water and a single mug of ale. He didn’t want to collapse on the way back. He and Yasha and Jester were halfway to the Cabaret when he realized he had left the stuffed cat in Caleb’s room. That was what he told Yasha and Jester, anyway.

“Oh well,” he sighed. “I’ll just have to go back and get it tomorrow before warm-ups.”

Jester swatted him with her tail. “Yeah, sure, because no one else can bring it to you instead.”

“You’re right, absolutely no one.” Molly grinned. “It’s just something I’ll have to do myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time...
> 
> Bring tissues.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb reveals some of his many secrets to Molly, not knowing if Molly will even want to stay with him once he knows the truth.

Caleb sat on the edge of his bed, the stuffed cat Molly had won for him clutched to his chest. He rocked back and forth with it. He had had another nightmare, which was not new in and of itself, but this time Molly had been there. Molly was walking with him through the market, hand in hand, pointing excitedly at all the places they were going to visit that day. Then out of nowhere, _they_ grappled Caleb to the ground. Two held Molly and pulled him away. Caleb had cried and screamed and begged them not to hurt him. “ _Nehmt mich! Nehmt mich aber lasst ihn los! Wenn ihr ihm was antut bring ich euch um!_ ” But they had spoken to him in that infuriatingly calm and condescending tone, telling him not to be hysterical. Then there was the needle. Caleb had awoken with tears streaming down into his pillow and a tight knot of panic and despair in his chest.

Molly needed to know. Molly _deserved_ to know. As much as Caleb wanted to put his past behind him so his life in Zadash could truly be a new start, the scars in his mind and soul proved to be as permanent as the ones on his arms. If he and Molly were going to have any sort of lasting relationship, Molly needed to know why Caleb had nightmares almost every night, why he never talked about his life after the age of twenty-three, why it was so fucking hard for him to be as affectionate as he yearned to be. He just didn’t know when he would find the right time.

There was a knock at his door. Caleb first looked up at the plank over the hole in his ceiling. It was still in place. The knock came again and he realized it really was at his door. He didn’t answer. Whoever it was, he didn’t want to talk to them. He wanted to be alone, except he didn’t. He wanted to be with Molly.

“Mister Caleb?”

Caleb tightened his arms around the stuffed cat. “…Mo— Mister Mollymauk?”

“I’m sorry, did I wake you? I tried to come after you might have eaten breakfast but I can wait downstairs if you’d prefer…”

“ _Nein!_ No, no, Molly, you can come in just… just give me a moment…” Caleb contemplated putting the toy down, but he had the feeling that it was acting as a stopper keeping all his sorrow from gushing out at once. If he let go then he would burst. However, he had only briefly stepped out of his room to visit the restroom and otherwise he had been sitting here as an unkempt mess. Holding the stuffed cat firmly with one arm, he tried to groom himself a little, comb his hair into something presentable and smooth the wrinkles on his bedclothes. He unlocked the door. It took him a moment of breathing to feel composed enough, but then he turned the handle and allowed Molly inside.

The smile on Molly’s face faded somewhat. “ _Did_ I wake you?” He brushed a bit of Caleb’s hair back behind his ear. “I’m not going to say you look terrible because you’re as handsome as ever, but you… um…” He licked and bit his lip. “You don’t look _well_. Is everything alright?”

Caleb trembled. His confession swelled inside him like a bubble in a vat of boiling tar. “C-Can we sssit down?” he asked quietly.

“Yes, of course, darling. Come here…” Molly put a steadying arm around Caleb and led him back to bed. “Did something happen?” He stiffened. “Did someone come to see you? One of… _his_ people?”

Caleb shook his head. “No, it was um…” He sniffled. “A nightmare. I had a nightmare. And it…” He scratched at one of the scars on his forearm. He swallowed. “It made me think a-about all the th-th-things I haven’t t-told you.”

Molly gingerly laid a hand on the small of Caleb’s back. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

Caleb chuckled weakly. He appreciated Molly’s blind trust in him and his secrets. He sniffled. “I… do. I want to tell you… at least the important things. In fact I was just thinking—” He stopped and frowned. “…Molly, why are you here?” It wouldn’t be the strangest delusion he had ever had, nor the most vivid. If this _was_ all in his mind, he would feel more comfortable just telling “Molly” everything.

“Because I left my prize here last night,” Molly said. He flicked one of the stuffed cat’s ears. “A _complete_ accident, of course, what with all the chaos from my fainting spell. But it was a good reason to come see you nonetheless.” He caressed Caleb’s cheek with his knuckles. “Seems I came at an um… I don’t know whether to call it opportune time or odd time or what. Whatever it is, I don’t think you should be alone for it.”

“You are right,” Caleb said. “I suppose.” He hesitantly leaned into Molly. Molly put his arm around him and rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. “ _Danke_.”

Molly kissed the top of his head. “Why don’t you tell me one thing, hm? Just one, to start. We can work from there. Maybe what your nightmare was about? You said it was what made you think of the things you wanted to tell me.”

It would be a good place to start. It wasn’t quite the catalyst of events, nor the climax of it, but there was a fair amount that had led up to it and more that occurred after. Caleb sniffled again. “I-I-I dreamt about the people who came and took me to the asylum.”

Molly nodded, then froze. “…The what?”

Caleb huffed a soft laugh. “ _Das Verbesserungs Sanatorium_. It uh, roughly translates to ‘The Sanatorium for Improvement’. Many of us used to called it ‘ _Das Vergessen Sanatorium_ ’, or ‘The Sanatorium for Forgetting’. People were left there to be forgotten. I was left there for… for almost ten years.”

“… _Why?_ ” Molly turned his head to look at Caleb in bewilderment. “You’re one of the most well-together people that I know.”

“Not everyone thought so.” Caleb stared ahead, eyes blank as they gazed into the past. “Ikithon didn’t think so.” He took a deep breath. “There were several things he considered… _wrong_ about me. Eventually it was too much for him to bear and h-he thought I would just be an embarrassment. So he had me committed.”

Molly paused for a moment. “Seriously though, for what? Is it because you didn’t want to be a politician?”

“That was part of it, yes.” Caleb could hear Ikithon’s voice clearly in his head, rising to be heard above the others. _I don’t know why I put so much effort into you when you waste your potential at every turn. What will those fanciful poems grant you later in life? A mountain of debt and no connections but to other soft-headed artists. You’re better than they are, boy. Start acting like it._

Molly scoffed. “And they put you away for ten years for that?”

Caleb scratched at his arm. “Erm… Well, the first five years were for… Ikithon’s reasons. The last five were… because… I tried to… kill myself.” Whether he would tell Molly the exact circumstances of that attempt, he didn’t know. Perhaps not today. This was already so much for him to process.

“…Oh.”

The voices in Caleb’s head were shouting his name, his real name, telling him to calm down, to stop struggling, to accept that he was sick and that they were trying to help him. He trembled. “A-A-And I—” He swallowed. “M-My name was-sn’t ‘Caleb’ back then.” He braced himself for Molly’s reaction. Confusion, anger, horror, all the scenarios played in his mind in a heartbeat. His heart plunged.

Molly was quiet for an eternity. After two silent seconds he asked, “The way my name wasn’t always ‘Mollymauk Tealeaf’?” He was… curious. That was it. Caleb didn’t hear anything else in his tone, and he was so used to hearing subtle rejection in every response anyone gave him. But Molly was just curious.

“Er… I— _Ja_ , um, I suppose you could say it was… something like that.” Caleb proceeded with caution. This could still be a trap. “I-In fact it was very much like that. You took a new name after the people who were caring for you decided they did not want to care for you anymore, right?”

“Mhm.” There was the negative undertone. Molly’s tail tip twitched. Caleb winced. Molly spoke so casually of when Gustav found him, but of course it must be a sore subject. Caleb knew how he felt.

“Well, that is what happened to me. When I got out of the asylum, Ikithon would not let me live with him again. I— I had not been ‘fixed’ the way he wanted me to be. But h-he did not want to continue paying for my treatment, and I was nothing but a dark stain on his reputation.” Caleb hung his head. He didn’t want to live under Ikithon’s roof anymore either, but the coldness Ikithon had shown him upon his return, after that long carriage ride alone because Ikithon couldn’t be bothered to leave Rexxentrum to fetch him, even though it didn’t surprise him it still hurt. “The first thing he did when I got back was hand me papers to have my name legally changed so no one could ever associate the two of us again.” He sniffled. “Then he gave me enough money to survive on my own for a few months and banished me from his house.” He trembled. Somehow during his confession he had leaned away from Molly. He shivered from the lack of Molly’s natural warmth.

Molly had one arm draped limply behind Caleb’s back. Caleb expected him to pull it away, but instead Molly asked, “Is it alright if I hug you?” His voice was quavering too, and quiet as though he thought anything louder would cause Caleb pain.

Caleb didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t how he thought this would go. He had at least thought Molly would raise his voice out of alarm or disgust, and yet he was doing the exact opposite. Caleb loved him so much it hurt. It reminded him of when he was a child and he came inside after playing in the snow for so long that his fingers froze; thawing them back out made him feel like his blood was full of broken glass. He took a few short shallow breaths, then nodded and leaned back into Molly’s side. The heat from the tiefling and the love he felt for him thawed his frozen heart and filled it with a thousand shards of glass.

They sat in silence for another moment. Molly’s embrace was comforting. His quiet understanding was even more so. “I think ‘Caleb Widogast’ suits you quite well,” Molly said. “What was it before?”

Caleb struggled to say it. “Bren. My nnn-name was Bren… Aldric… Ermundrud.” The voices in his head took up the chorus. _Bren, we’ve talked about this. Herr Ermundrud, you’re only making this worse for yourself. Come now, Bren, you know this will only hurt for a moment but you’ll feel better when we’re done._

Molly nodded. “I prefer ‘Caleb Widogast’. Far more interesting. Unique. Almost mystical.”

Caleb couldn’t help but smile. And then he laughed, though it was a soft cracked laugh. “That— It is funny you would say that. It is a name I made up as a child, when we played games of make-believe. My friends and I pretended to be a group of adventuring spies, sneaking around the village fighting evil. I have… forgotten many of the other children’s names, as well as the names they gave themselves for our game, but we had a warrior, whose weapon was just a somewhat pointy stick, and the son of a priest who insisted on praying for our missions so we named him our cleric, and… and one boy who just liked kicking things, so we always made up something that he needed to kick for us. And I was our mage, Caleb Widogast.” He chuckled. “I thought it sounded like a wizard’s name. The kind who lives in a tower with shelves and shelves of books and was always surrounded by his fascinating magical creations.”

Molly stroked Caleb’s back. “Mmmhmm, the kind of wizard that an adventuring party like that would come to for potions and magic scrolls to help them in their quest.”

“ _Ja genau_ , except I kept handfuls of flower petals from my mother’s garden in my coat pockets and I would ‘cast spells’ by throwing them at things. When I could convince Frumpkin to play with us, she was my familiar, but if she ran away I said it was… because she was a magic creature who couldn’t always be in our realm or… something…” Caleb sighed. “I also pretended I could see through Frumpkin’s eyes and that was how I knew more than anyone else about what we were supposed to do for our missions. In uh… In retrospect I realized that I was just used to being smarter than the other children so I wanted an excuse to know things they did not.”

Molly nodded. “Kids are like that. Or so I hear. I don’t remember ever being that age. I don’t know if I had friends my own age or if they all avoided me because I’m a tiefling.” He shrugged and kissed the top of Caleb’s head. “But you sort of grew into a wizard that suited his name. Instead of casting spells with flower petals you cast them with words.” He purred and his tail nuzzled Caleb’s leg. “Words so powerful they even charmed the Diamond Devil himself.”

Caleb couldn’t fully shake his anxiety, but Molly’s encouraging attitude allowed him to smile. “You are… erm… taking this better than I anticipated.”

Molly shrugged. His tail tip flicked back and forth, tickling Caleb’s ankle. “There is one thing I’m having trouble understanding, though.” He frowned at Caleb, but it was a concerned and confused frown rather than an upset frown. “Did Ikithon pay off the asylum to let you stay there? If he just told them you didn’t want to pursue the career he wanted you to, that’s not enough to commit you. Why didn’t they notice you didn’t belong there?”

Caleb trembled. As much as he liked that Molly’s eyes still looked at him with affection and care, he had to turn away. This was the big confession, the part Molly needed to know most of all, but it might be the final straw that made Molly realize this was more than he could handle. Caleb’s worry and doubt surged like a fire touching a puddle of oil. “Because many of the doctors at the Sanatorium had the same notion Ikithon did, that… intimate and sexual relationships should only be between men and women, and anyone who thought otherwise, especially anyone with other desires, was…” Caleb winced as the word was shouted at him by a dozen silent voices. “…sick.”

There was another long heavy pause as Molly turned over what Caleb had just said. His hands tightened into fists. His tail lashed angrily. He held Caleb tighter. “Are you telling me,” he snarled, “that you were sent to an asylum for _ten years_ because _they thought having an interest in other men meant you were mentally ill?_ ” Caleb had never heard him so angry, not even when he talked about the Gentleman. Molly wasn’t shouting, had barely raised his voice at all, but there was a seething rage that coated every word he said. He had dropped into his Infernal accent as well, though without the purring behind it Molly sounded… _dangerous_.

“I-I was only supposed to be there for five years,” Caleb said. “Or until I w-was ‘fixed’.”

Molly hissed through his teeth like an angry cat. “There was _absolutely nothing wrong with you_ ,” he said. “ _They_ were the sick ones if they kept you locked away just because you would rather get into poetry than politics and because you… what? Thought men were attractive too? Weren’t you dating a woman at the time?”

Tears pooled in Caleb’s eyes. “I was.” He choked on a sob.

Molly’s bristled posture relaxed in an instant. “Hey, hey Caleb, it’s alright. Look, that was a lot for you to get off your chest. If you need time to recover I’ll still be here. I mean, I have a performance tonight so I can’t stay all day, but for the next few hours? I’m all yours.” He kissed the top of Caleb’s head. “Let’s lie down. Would you like something to drink? Water? Wine? Whisky?”

Caleb shook with repressed sobs. In the asylum, the staff left the crying patients alone when they were merciful, but often they would deem a person “hysterical” and prescribe them “treatment” for it. Over the years Caleb had come to associate openly crying in front of someone with being dunked into a tub of ice water, or injected with the “medicine” that kept him docile and barely coherent. He had cried in front of Molly once before, because when Molly had pinned him to the bed it reminded him of when the doctors held him down so he couldn’t fight back when they brought out the needle with its numbing concoction. Molly hadn’t punished him for crying then. It was still hard for Caleb to trust anyone to see him like this. He had to start somewhere though. “W-Water,” he stammered.

“Okay.” Molly kissed him again. “I’ll be right back, love. Here, you have your new cat friend and this dragon that you won so brilliantly yesterday. Hold onto them, they’ll keep you company while I’m away.” He tucked the soft toy dragon under Caleb’s arm beside the cat. He gave Caleb one last kiss on the cheek before he dashed away.

Caleb clutched both plush creatures to his chest. He resumed his anxious rocking that he had been doing when Molly arrived.

Molly was beyond furious. He felt his demonic blood boiling with rage. There was an old superstition that tieflings, when angered or injured, could shriek with such hellish fury that anyone who heard it would burn from the inside out. When Molly and Jester were kids they tried screaming at each other to see if they could do anything like that, but the most damage it did was to people’s quiet afternoons. Molly knew that in this moment, if he saw any of those “doctors” that had been responsible for locking Caleb away for ten years, he would unleash that fury upon them until they were smoldering puddles of blood and bone.

It wasn’t that Molly had never dealt with anyone who had been abused before, far from it. Plenty of his clients had some dark memories they wanted help overcoming, usually by reenacting them so they had a chance to do things differently or reverse the roles so _they_ were the aggressor and Molly was the victim. Molly charged extra for sessions like that, but trauma was such a heavy burden to bear that most people would pay anything to find some closure and be rid of it. Caleb had been abused for _ten years_. Gustav had just taken Molly in around the time Caleb was sent to the asylum. Molly thought of everything he had done in ten years — finding a new family, learning new skills, building his career as a performer, making a name for himself, becoming the star of the Cabaret — and it sickened him to know that through all of that, every single moment, Caleb had been trapped in an asylum because his heart was so full of love that he didn’t care if the person he adored was a man or a woman.

Molly requested a pitcher of water and two glasses down at the bar. He also inquired if there was any hot food that was ready to be served. They had a stew that was almost done, though it hadn’t been fully seasoned. Molly requested a small bowl of that. Caleb might need something warm and mild to help him cope with his sadness. It had always helped Molly when he was going through hard times in the past. The woman at the bar served him the soup and told him they had stirred in a bit of salt and spices, then apologized if it wasn’t very good.

“I’m sure it will be fantastic,” Molly said with his most charming smile. He put down a generous amount of coin. “Thank you very much.” Holding the tray they had provided him with very carefully, he went back upstairs to Caleb’s room.

Caleb was in the same spot on his bed. He had been moving, but once Molly entered he froze. Molly set down the tray on his desk then went to his side. Caleb had that far away look, as though his brilliant mind had been dragged away somewhere dark and foreboding.

“Darling,” Molly said softly. All his anger faded out of sight. Caleb needed warmth and love. “Darling, please put your arms around me.” He kissed Caleb’s forehead. “Please.”

It took a moment for Caleb to respond. He set the stuffed animals aside, though he did so with slow stiff movements, like a machine that wasn’t functioning quite right. Then he turned back to Molly with that same lost expression. He looped his arms around Molly’s waist. That physical contact brought him back a little. He drooped against Molly’s chest.

“It’s alright, my love,” Molly said. He kissed Caleb again and smoothed back his hair. “Can you feel me? I’m right here. I’m here and I love you and no matter what, nothing changes between us, alright? Except, well, now I know things, and because of that there are topics I know to avoid.” He nuzzled his cheek to the top of Caleb’s head. “I get the feeling you have more to tell me, but later. There will be time for that later. Here and now, take some deep breaths. It’s going to be alright.”

Caleb shivered. He buried his face in Molly’s chest. He wasn’t crying. He had been on the verge of crying when Molly left. Molly was worried. Caleb was burying his sorrow. What made it worse was, the way he was postured, it was like he was bracing himself for something, something awful, something painful. A punishment. And he wasn’t afraid either. This was a reflex. Punishment had been so commonplace wherever they had sent him that his automatic reaction was to expect it when he showed weakness. It broke Molly’s heart.

“It’s perfectly natural to feel things,” Molly told him. “None of your feelings are wrong. None of them mean you are— that you—” He sighed. “You. Are. Not. Sick.” Caleb flinched at the word. “You are _not_ ,” Molly repeated. “You have such deep feelings, my darling. I can see it in your writing. You aren’t just writing lines for us to read, you’re writing _emotions_ for us to feel. I realize I’ve worked on the character with you so I already had the general idea for how Lucien would feel in certain situations, but the fabulous poetry that you wrote for him, he has _depth_. It’s so easy for me to get into character because just saying the lines you came up with makes me feel what he’s feeling, and you couldn’t write like that if you didn’t truly know what it means to feel.” Molly balled his fists, gripping Caleb’s nightshirt tight. “He feels lost and confused, he feels grief, but he also feels _hope_ , and _love_.” Molly cupped Caleb’s cheek. “Caleb, I love you so very much. Please understand that nothing you have told me changes that.”

That did it. Caleb spasmed. His whole body seized up. And then he began to weep. He held onto Molly like he expected someone to come rip the two of them apart any moment. Molly embraced him tenderly yet firmly to let him know he wasn’t going anywhere. Gradually Molly guided Caleb onto the bed so they could lay side-by-side. Caleb hiccupped with little sobs. Molly purred softly to soothe him, though he doubted Caleb could hear them over the sounds of his own whimpering and sniffling. He purred anyway, because if it helped Caleb even the slightest bit, then it was worth it.

There was a knock on the plank in Caleb’s ceiling. “Caleb?” It was Veth. “Are you alright?”

Caleb stopped crying immediately. He froze in that hunched position, waiting for the pain of punishment.

“Not right now, Veth,” Molly called up.

“Molly? What are you doing here?”

“I said _not now, Veth_.” Molly stroked Caleb’s hair. “It’s alright,” he said quietly. “You’re allowed to cry, and it’s not her business to pry. She cares about you too, though. Everyone in that room considers you their friend and they care about you. You’re far _far_ away from anyone who wants to hurt you.” That wasn’t a total lie. The Gentleman and his underlings didn’t want to hurt Caleb because they didn’t know what was going on between him and Molly. Molly intended to keep it that way. “Shh shh, that’s it. You’re alright, my love. It’s okay to cry.” He kissed Caleb’s lovely auburn hair. “I brought you some soup. It smells really good. Do you think you could eat a spoonful of it? One little spoonful. And I brought you water, too. If nothing else, you should drink something.”

Caleb trembled in Molly’s arms. “ _Warum mm-machst du das?_ ”

Molly didn’t know what that meant. He gently curled his tail around Caleb’s waist. “You can take a moment if you need to.”

Caleb pressed his face back into Molly’s chest. Though it muffled his voice, he spoke in Common this time and Molly could understand him. “Molly, _why are you doing this?_ ”

“Doing what?”

Caleb didn’t answer. Not with words. He curled tighter into himself and shook as he started sobbing again.

Molly panicked. “Caleb, darling, if something I’m doing is upsetting you, please tell me.” He pulled his tail away in case it was bringing up a bad memory.

However, Caleb blindly groped for it. Molly let him have it, though the Gentleman was fond of grabbing and pulling his tail so he was somewhat nervous himself. Caleb was gentle though, albeit desperate. He clutched Molly’s tail in both hands. “Wh-Why aren’t you mad at me?” The words came out of him at a halting fractured pace.

“I have no reason to be,” Molly said. “I’m bloody _furious_ at everyone who tried to extinguish your bright heart, but mad at _you?_ Absolutely not. You don’t deserve it.” Molly looped the part of his tail Caleb wasn’t holding back around Caleb in an embrace. “You didn’t deserve any of what happened to you.”

Caleb cried a little more. He still seemed anxious about it. Molly was morbidly curious. What had they done to him? Had they tried to strip him of every emotion? Turn him into a whipped dog that would cower when they so much as looked at him so he would never think for himself again? And yet, ten years of that, ten years of living nightmares, and Caleb had held onto his faith in love and poetry, his passion to create.

And he had fallen in love with Molly.

Molly was so overcome by what that meant that he almost cried too.

“Caleb,” he said, voice low and rumbling from purrs. “I love you. It must be so hard for you to love me, when they spent ten years telling you that loving someone like me meant you… had something wrong with you. But Caleb, you beautiful, wonderful, _incredible_ man, I am so grateful that you do.” He shook his head and smiled. “I lied. This _does_ change things because I love you even more than I did when I woke up this morning. I didn’t think it was possible but I do. You’re like sunshine they tried to smother with clouds and a fog of lies, but you kept shining anyway. They dimmed your light, but they couldn’t put it out, and I love you for that. I love you and I’m proud of you and _fuck me_ I don’t know what I did to earn your love but I promise I will cherish it until the end of time.”

Caleb’s sobs and sniffled faltered again, but he wasn’t flinching or retreating deeper into himself. He lifted his head to look at Molly. His shimmering blue eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with red, but they were beautiful as ever. “I-I _do_ love you, Molly, because you are so bright yourself.” He swallowed. “You are a clear night of stars, piecing the darkness with your twinkling dancing light. You are warm, generous, caring. You walk the world as though it is your stage and you play the part of an aloof performer and a carefree courtesan, but beneath that you are valiant and you would do anything for the ones you love.” He sniffled and rubbed his eye. “Even if that means selling yourself to the most awful people so your friends and family can have the money to live well.” He held Molly and scooted up so they could be more eye-to-eye. “I have never met anyone like you. You _are_ a star, not just of the stage but… _a star_ , right out of the heavens and into our world. I, a mere mortal, am humbled just to be in your presence.”

Molly stared at Caleb. His heart was about to burst with love. “Compared to the sun, a star is less than a candleflame. _I_ am humbled to be loved by _you_ , my sunshine.”

Caleb smiled softly. “My starlight.” He caressed Molly’s cheek. “My muse. I write the way I do because you spark those feelings in me. I— I thought perhaps when I came to Zadash, I would find someone I could love from a distance and draw my inspiration from them. I pictured myself becoming enamored with a woman I saw across a café, or perhaps a handsome man who worked at a bookshop, but _they_ are the candleflames compared to _you_. Fleeting, easily put out, only providing enough light to work by. But you, my love, you are what has gotten me through my dark times these past couple months. Your enduring light, guiding me over rough seas like millennia of sailors who have looked to the sky in their times of need. _That_ is what I love about you.” He kissed Molly’s cheek. “And here you are, you have pulled me from the darkness yet again.” His smile faded. “There… There is so much more I could tell you, b-but you are right. There will be time for that later.” He pressed their foreheads together. “I am tired now…”

It was impossible. Molly’s love for Caleb had grown _yet again_. If things continued this way, Molly wouldn’t be able to contain it all. He would never stop purring because his thoughts would always be of Caleb and how much he loved him. He kissed Caleb with tempered passion. He wasn’t about to pounce on Caleb with fevered kisses when the poor man was so drained. “Would you like some soup?”

Caleb nodded. “ _Ja_ , perhaps only that one spoonful, though.”

Molly helped Caleb sit up. He held the bowl steady for him, since Caleb’s hands were shaking. His own hands trembled slightly as well, vibrating with energy and adoration. Caleb managed not just one, or two, but four spoonfuls of soup. After that he was satisfied with the water Molly had brought with the meal. Molly ate some of the soup as well. It wasn’t bad, though, yes, it could use more seasoning. The soup was not important. Caleb was.

The two of them lay in each other’s arms for another hour or so. Caleb spent most of that time napping. Molly thought over everything he had learned today. _There is so much more I could tell you…_

Molly was afraid of what more Caleb could have endured.

Caleb awoke with clearer eyes and a brighter smile. Molly kissed him sweetly. It made sense, now, why Caleb had panicked during the accidental seduction, why he got aroused but was adamant to not do anything about it, why he was even more cautious about their affair than Molly was. Molly understood, and he respected Caleb’s boundaries. They might not always be this way. Clearly Caleb wanted to overcome whatever brainwashing those fuckers had done to him to make him repulsed at the thought of loving a man. Molly would help him. Molly would do anything and everything to let Caleb put his past behind him for good.

Alas, they could not spend the whole day together. Molly eventually had to get up and return to the Cabaret to begin preparations for tonight’s show. Caleb insisted he take the stuffed dragon with him.

“I won it for you, my starlight,” he said. “But may I keep the cat?”

Molly smiled. “I won that for _you_ , my sunshine. Of course you may keep it.”

It took several more kisses and whispered promises of love before Molly felt comfortable leaving. Their parting was cruel. Caleb needed someone to be there to love him. On his way out, Molly darted upstairs for a brief moment. He quietly told Caduceus to bring Caleb some tea in a little while, perhaps a snack as well. Caduceus’s ears perked up with understanding and he nodded. That provided Molly with some relief. He felt much better as he left the Leaky Tap, dragon held firmly in his arms.

When he got back to his room, Molly set the toy dragon down among his pillows, then knelt on the floor beside his bed. He lifted his mattress. Hidden in a safe corner of his bedframe was the photo he and Caleb had taken the day before. He sat there on the floor admiring it for a little while. Sunshine and starlight. Sun and Star. Molly glanced up at his posters. His reading about Caleb had included the Star. Had they predicted that Caleb would call Molly his starlight unprompted? Then there had been the Strength card. Molly thought it meant strength that was needed, but perhaps it had meant the strength Caleb already had. Resolve, staying true to one’s self, Caleb truly had that strength inside him, and that was what had gotten him here after everything he had been through.

Ten of Swords. Bearing a burden. Molly knew what that card meant now, too. Caleb had shared the heavy weight of his past, and maybe he hadn’t expected Molly to want to carry it with him. But Molly would. Molly would stay by Caleb’s side and support him as they worked through Caleb’s trauma.

Molly kissed the image of Caleb in his photograph. “I love you, my sunshine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art is, as always, by the champion of Widomauk doodles, [Milli](https://twitter.com/_milliiii). If you love this fic, you should know that Milli is my constant source of inspiration and this fic would not exist without her, so you already love her too and you might not have realized it! Now that you do, go tell her you love her! DO IT!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where Caleb regains even more confidence and gets to do fun things (some of which involve trapezes).

There were times when Molly wished he hadn’t fallen in love with Caleb. After learning the truth about Caleb’s past — or at least some of it — those times became more frequent. However, they all coincided with times that Molly remembered that the Gentleman existed.

Before Caleb, Molly could only compare his experiences with clients to previous sessions. He would step into the Dragon, or wherever the client decided to meet, fully in character and maybe only thinking about a sewing project he was working on or ways he could improve his performance, things that didn’t distract him from what he had to do. He didn’t even have much in his life that sessions could interrupt. Some nights he and Jester would get together and unwind by painting each other’s nails or helping Yasha braid her mane of hair or baking tasty treats to share with everyone. Those were nice, but rescheduling those wasn’t a problem.

But now…

Molly disliked the Gentleman more and more every time they met. Marion had known him before he rose in the ranks of the Myriad, and simply described him as “the sort of scoundrel you dream about running away with even though you know it could never last.” Clearly, time and power had changed him. Molly barely even listened when the Gentleman bragged or complained about his work. He was too busy thinking about Caleb, and how much he would rather be sitting with Caleb’s head in his lap and listening to Caleb read poetry. Then after the confession, Molly prayed every day that the Gentleman wouldn’t call on him and he would be free to go to Caleb and comfort him or help him through whatever nightmares plagued him from his past.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Caleb, upholding his end of the contract would have been so much simpler.

Except Molly knew he would do it all again, given the chance. He would definitely put his foot down and refuse to add the exclusivity clause to the contract, but there was little he could do about that now, not without endangering people he cared about.

Molly only had one chance to spend time alone with Caleb after the confession and before their last show before the Cabaret closed for renovations. He told Gustav he wanted to “finalize the script” so everyone could start memorizing their lines while they waited for the new stage to be built. For that, he invited Caleb over for a midday meeting in his room. Frankly he didn’t like being in the Dragon much these days. It just made him think of damp skin beneath his hands and against his lips.

The moment they were alone together, Molly pulled Caleb into a gentle embrace. “How are you?” he asked.

Caleb didn’t answer right away. “Would um… Would you be upset if I said I was… erm… _surprised_ that you wanted to see me after… um…”

Molly placed a tender kiss on Caleb’s neck and pulled back to smile softly at him. “I told you, darling, what you told me changes nothing. At least, I don’t love you any less.” He cupped Caleb’s cheeks. “In fact I’m more in love with you now that I know there’s more to you than I thought possible. I knew you had depth but I wasn’t expecting an ocean like that.”

“S— So you… s-still love me?” Caleb asked. His eyes shone with hope. It was a good look on him.

“Of course I do.” Molly kissed Caleb’s forehead. “I’m sorry I haven’t had time for you like this. My schedule will be more open after we close down for renovations.” He grinned. “And, best of all, _the Gentleman is going away for three whole weeks!_ ”

Caleb stared in awe. “Really? For what?”

Molly shrugged. “Business up north. He didn’t go into detail, but he invited me to come with.” He rolled his eyes. “Said that since I wasn’t going to be performing I should take some time off. I’m pretty sure he would want me to stay in whatever room he’s renting so… y’know. But I told him that as _wonderful_ as it sounds to get out of Zadash on what is sure to be a _fascinating_ journey and it would be _ever so nice_ to spend more time with him—” Molly stuck out his tongue and gagged. “—I am needed here.” He smiled. “I have to make sure the writer behaves himself while everyone starts memorizing their lines. Wouldn’t want him making changes at the last minute and cutting my time on stage.”

“I would never— Oh.” Caleb smiled in understanding. “Ah, yes. Well, I guess that foils my plans.”

“I knew it.” Molly nuzzled their foreheads together. “You would rather have me out in the audience with you. Maybe next time, Mister Caleb. Maybe next time.” He stroked Caleb’s hair. “Can I kiss you? Please?”

Caleb nodded. He leaned in and met Molly halfway. Kissing Caleb was far more pleasant than kissing the Gentleman. He wasn’t a confident or skilled kisser, like several of Molly’s clients had been, but Molly felt something with Caleb he hadn’t felt with anyone else. It was the glow of the audience’s approval, the warmth of friendship, the softness of being vulnerable yet the calmness of knowing he was absolutely safe. Molly knew all these sensations individually, but feeling them all at once and then some was new. He liked it.

They sat down on Molly’s bed. Molly asked the question he had been asking himself over and over for almost a week. “Caleb, what can I do to make you more comfortable?” He loosely curled his tail around Caleb’s waist. “Whatever you need me to do — or avoid doing — all you have to do is ask.”

Caleb folded his hands in his lap and thought for a moment. “I— I don’t like being held down. And um… they… they made us walk barefoot all the time, claimed it would help by letting the… sickness flow out into the ground or… something… b-but these days I like to keep my feet covered, even if it’s just socks. S-s-so if we ever um… did anything th-that required removing our… our clothes then… keep in mind why I might keep my socks on.”

Molly nodded. The hair on the back of his neck bristled. No doubt the patients at the asylum were made to go barefoot because it made running away more difficult. “Anything else?”

“Um…” Caleb averted his eyes even more as his cheeks took on a rosy hue. “I— I _do_ want to… be intimate with you, in a s-sexual way. But they… _strongly_ discouraged us from acting on our urges so it um… it is going to take me some time to… erm… _unlearn_ all of that.”

“I can imagine.” Molly took Caleb’s hand and held it lightly. “We can start small, if you want? I’ve had my shirt off around you before, right? I can take it off now and you can touch me or just look at me until you feel comfortable. Sound good?”

Caleb took a few deeps breaths. He nodded.

“Alright.” Molly kissed Caleb’s cheek. He unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off onto the bed behind him. Caleb looked at his tattoos the same way he had that first night, blue eyes bright with interest and admiration. Molly held his arm out for Caleb. “Do you want to touch them?”

“I… would, thank you.” Caleb traced the flowing lines of Molly’s tattoos, starting where the peacock and the snake merged together and changed into each other, trailing down over the spiraling body of the snake and the meadow of flowers it coiled through. When he got to the snake’s eye on the back of Molly’s hand, Molly turned his hand to show the other eye on his palm. He brushed his thumb over Caleb’s fingers. Caleb was tense at first, and flinched slightly at Molly’s touch, but the calm quiet of the room and the intimacy of the moment helped him relax over time.

“See?” Molly said softly. “You’re alright. Nothing to worry about.” He grinned. “You’re just examining some fine artwork. No one could blame you for that.”

Caleb smiled with a breathy chuckle. He caressed his fingertips back up the underside of Molly’s arm. This time they followed the fanned tail of the peacock until they reached the feathers that spread up Molly’s cheek and above his eye. Molly purred quietly. Caleb hesitantly inched his touch towards the base of Molly’s horn.

Molly squeezed Caleb affectionately with his tail. “You can touch those too,” he said. The Gentleman was fond of gripping Molly by the horns whenever he could come up with a reason to do so. Plenty of clients did, especially when they needed something firm to hold onto. It didn’t hurt much more than having his hair yanked, though the horns were attached to him far better. That didn’t mean he liked it. However, he trusted Caleb would be more gentle with him.

And Caleb was. His lips parted slightly in awe when he first felt them. “They are… fuzzy?”

Molly nodded with a smile. “Most tieflings have some amount of velvet on their horns even after they go through puberty. Mine doesn’t go all the way to the tip, but it feels nice, doesn’t it?”

“ _Ja,_ it does.” Caleb stroked the thin layer of velvet between the ridges of Molly’s horn. “It is different than I thought it would be.” He ran his thumb over Molly’s horn bands. Molly had on his mismatched set, gold on one horn and silver on the other. He couldn’t see but he could clearly imagine Caleb’s pale skin turning even paler from the reflection of the metal. Caleb would look good in silver. Gold wouldn’t go as well with his skin tone, but silver would make the red of his hair and the blue of his eyes more vivid. He continued down the curve of Molly’s horn, though he slowed to a stop before he reached the drilled hole. “Erm… Did um… Did getting this done hurt you?” he asked.

Molly shrugged. “I don’t have a lot of feeling in my horns. Rattled my head a little, but I went to a professional and they’ve worked with tiefling horns before.” He slipped his finger into the hole to rub the hard substance coating the inside. “They sealed it up with epoxy so nothing would get infected or injured further, and it’s only gotten a few nicks and scratches in it in… three years? Four? After I started taking clients but I can’t remember exactly.”

Caleb chuckled. “Time doesn’t have much meaning for you, does it?”

“Not really. I keep track of what holidays and festivals are coming up, and I have my calendar to remind me of people’s birthdays, but I don’t exactly make note of the specific days that things happen to me, so when I recall it later I remember more of the what than the when.”

“ _Interessant_ …” Caleb murmured, almost to himself. He gingerly touched the hole in Molly’s horn and the delicate chains hanging from it. He followed one to where it connected to Molly’s ear. Molly purred. Caleb caressed Molly’s ear, which made him purr harder. He smiled. “I take it you like when people play with your ears?”

Molly smiled and purred a little more enthusiastically. “Not all the time, but I definitely like when you do it. Just don’t flick the points please.”

Caleb frowned. “Do people do that?”

“Humans, mostly. I think it’s because your ears are so round, but I don’t know if that happens to all the other pointy-eared races or if it’s just me.”

“Well the thought hadn’t crossed my mind,” Caleb said. “I had several elven and half-elf peers at school, including a few professors. Er... _flicking_ their ears would have been extremely bad manners.”

“You do strike me as the well-behaved type,” Molly said with a nod. “Figured I would mention it just in case you were curious.”

Caleb smiled somewhat bashfully. He curled a lock of Molly’s hair around his finger. “Would you believe that I was quite a troublemaker when I was younger?”

Molly could picture Caleb sneaking away with another student to some off-limits area of the school so he could court his partner with poetry and some more physical activities. “I can believe that you got up to some mischief, but I don’t think you got in trouble for it,” Molly said. “You probably charmed anyone who tried to report you and they were so taken with you that you had a stack of warnings to your name but never anything enough to tarnish your record.”

Caleb was quiet for a moment. He continued absentmindedly playing with Molly’s hair. “You are uhm… not far off, actually. It was one of the reasons Ikithon thought I would do well in politics.”

“Yes, I know the type.” Molly could, if he wanted to, reveal a few nasty secrets about some of the more prominent figures in the Tri Spires district, but Marion had advised him early on not to try. Those people were in their positions because they were very good at convincing people to listen to them. A charlatan from the Outerstead who tried to muddy their reputation would only ruin their own life, while those in power would use their influence to remain immaculate to the public eye. But Caleb was too kind and compassionate. He would get eaten alive by those who were more bloodthirsty.

Caleb stroked Molly’s hair for another moment, then pulled his hand away. “That was nice,” he said with a little smile.

“It was,” Molly agreed. “Think you’d be comfortable touching anything else?”

Caleb froze. His cheeks turned pink but his eyes had that worrisome blankness to them.

“I meant like my tail or the tattoos on my back or something,” Molly said hastily. “Nothing too intimate, yet.”

Caleb relaxed and the smile returned to his face. “I’ve uh… been curious about the… spikes? Ridges? The bumps on your tail.”

Molly shifted so Caleb would be able to reach his lower back. “Ridges, crests, however you want to call them. And yeah, absolutely, touch them all you want.”

“It’s not… rude?”

“Not if I give you an invitation,” Molly said. He smirked. “I know they’re very close to my butt, but I assure you, it’s not considered inappropriate. It’s not something you can just do to any tiefling who has them, but if another tiefling saw you touching mine in public they wouldn’t think you were a pervert or anything.”

Caleb blushed harder. He bit his lip. “A-Alright then…” He patted the one furthest down Molly’s tail, away from his ass. He raised his eyebrows. “They are soft. I mean, not _soft_ , but… it is… cartilage? Not bone?”

Molly nodded. “That they are.” He chuckled. “Seems this has turned into a lesson on tiefling anatomy somehow.”

Caleb smile bashfully and giggled softly. “It would appear that way, yes.”

Molly wanted to ask if Caleb’s knew about other parts of tiefling anatomy, specifically that tiefling cocks also had ridges. Caleb was taking this at his own pace, though. Leaping ahead to the topic of sexual equipment would be too much. Caleb might know, he might not, it didn’t matter in this moment. He was moving up Molly’s tail, exploring each ridge gently. It felt good. Normally when people handled his tail like this there was a predatory undertone to it, their light touches masking rough intentions. Caleb was merely curious. Molly purred to show how relaxed he was.

Caleb only briefly touched the topmost ridge on Molly’s tail. He withdrew he hand as though he had nearly burned himself. Molly wagged the tip of his tail happily. “Thank you,” Caleb said. He hadn’t completely stopped blushing, but he also seemed calm and content.

“Any time,” Molly said. He pulled his shirt back on. “Would you like to get a drink? There might be someone at the bar, or I can grab us a bottle of something. Then we can actually look over the script and decide if we’re ready to hand it out for everyone to start memorizing.

“A drink would be… lovely, thank you.” Caleb leaned in and kissed Molly’s cheek. Molly turned his head towards him. Caleb understood. He leaned in again, this time pressing his lips to Molly’s. He smiled. “And perhaps after we are done we can do more of that.”

Molly purred. “That _does_ sound lovely.” He stood and offered Caleb a hand. “Shall we, Mister Caleb?”

Caleb took Molly’s hand and pulled himself to his feet. “We shall, Mister Mollymauk.”

* * *

A few days later, Caleb received a peculiar note. It came to him via Caduceus, who had gotten it from Jester after he went over to discuss the way they wanted to paint the backdrop for the village. Rather than a folded piece of paper it was rolled into a scroll, tied with ribbon, and then the ribbon was sealed with unmarked wax. Inside it said, “You are cordially invited to come say farewell to our beloved stage. Please come tomorrow at 10am. Tell no one else.” The handwriting was neither neat nor scrawling, though it did look like effort was put into making it legible. If Caleb couldn’t already guess who the invitation was from, instead of a signature there was a doodle of a sunburst beside a cluster of stars with a tiny heart between them.

Caleb smiled. He had equated Molly with starlight since that first night, when Molly had hung above the crowd on his trapeze, adorned with the net of false diamonds that sparkled in the bright stage lights. He liked that Molly thought of him as sunshine. Caleb didn’t feel like he shone as bright as Molly did, but he was trying to be happy. Molly was helping with that.

The people at the Cabaret of Curiosities were so used to Caleb coming and going that when he arrived at the side entrance and knocked, someone let him in without questioning why he was there. He made his way to the stage, not needing an escort to guide him through the winding corridors.

There was no one there. Caleb checked his pocket watch. He was perfectly on time. The second hand of his watch ticked past the hour and it was ten o’clock, as the note requested. Worry crept into Caleb’s mind that perhaps this was all a prank of some sort.

"Overhead!" came a shout from above him.

A dull repetitive clank echoed in the empty theatre as a single trapeze descended from the catwalk. Molly climbed over the railing, shimmied down one of the ropes, and perched on the bar. He was wearing a simple wide-necked shirt and leggings with no shoes. He crossed his ankles and grinned down at Caleb.

“Hello, love,” he said. “You’re early.”

Caleb looked at his watch again. “It is ten o’clock.”

Molly shrugged. “Well, I wasn’t quite ready yet, which means you were early. However, it made for an interesting entrance, yeah?”

“It did,” Caleb said. He smiled as he walked closer. Molly was sitting a foot or so above him. His feet were about level with Caleb’s head. Caleb thought about reaching up and tickling them. He didn’t want Molly to lose his balance though. “Is anyone else coming to this farewell party?”

Molly shook his head. “Private event, invitation only. And I only sent out one invitation.” His tail swayed back and forth like a slow pendulum. “Now that we’re done with our usual performances for a while, we’re going to pack my trapezes away until the new stage is ready. Before that, I was hoping that… well…” He smiled. “I thought maybe you would want to try them?”

Caleb’s eyes grew wide. “M-Me? On the trapeze?” He laughed nervously. “I am nowhere near as graceful as you are. I would fall off.”

“You might, you might not. I’d be here to catch you either way.”

In a move that Caleb could barely keep track of, Molly managed to both flip himself around and then hook his knees around the bar so he could fall back and hang upside-down while still facing Caleb. The charms on his horns and drawstrings on his shirt dangled opposite to their usual positions. He had his shirt mostly tucked into his leggings, though one corner had come out and exposed the lean lavender muscles of his waist. Caleb admired the little peek under Molly’s clothes. Then he realized what was almost squarely at his eye level. His cheeks grew hot. If he wanted to, he could take a few steps forward and nuzzle his face between Molly’s legs. The voices in his head rose from their ceaseless disapproving mutters to admonishing screams in an instant.

Caleb’s memories dragged him back to the asylum. He felt the restraints on his wrists and ankles, the chill of the metal and leather chair on his naked body, the vulnerability of being forced to sit with his legs apart. This was another test. They were watching. They were staring at his groin, looking for any sign of arousal. If they noted any there would be pain. Most likely the ice water, though depending on which doctor was overseeing his “treatment” today it might be the electroshock. Caleb retreated into his usual defense. He stared blankly, not seeing anything, and silently recited poetry to himself to take his mind off whatever they were using to tempt him into disobeying.

_Ich würde dir nicht die Welt geben, Liebster, auch wenn sie meine wäre…_

“Caleb?” Molly’s voice came to him from far away. A tail reached out and waved in front of his eyes. “Caleb are you alright?”

Caleb blinked. He had one foot in the past and one in the present. He nodded reflexively.

Molly reached out his arms. “Caleb, come down here please?”

“Hm?” Caleb struggled out of that chair. He pulled at his restraints as he had so many times in the real world. Molly’s eyes loosened them. Caleb felt himself being pulled towards those glowing red gems, out of the darkness and pain. He got on his hands and knees and crawled over to Molly.

Molly stroked Caleb’s hair the moment it was within reach. “Hey,” he said. “You went away for a moment. Did you go somewhere bad?”

Caleb averted his eyes and nodded.

“Oh, Caleb.” Molly swung forward to lightly kiss Caleb’s forehead. He accidentally hit Caleb on the nose. “Ah, fuck, sorry,” he said, grimacing.

Caleb smiled weakly. “It is alright,” he said with a light chuckle. He rubbed at his nose. “Thank you.”

Molly cocked his head. “For hitting you in the face?”

“For… bringing me back.” Caleb shifted into a more comfortable seated position. “You were right, I went to a bad place. But I’m back now. You rescued me.”

Molly beamed. “Yeah?”

“ _Ja_.” Caleb scooted closer. He cupped Molly’s cheek. It was odd with Molly upside down, but Caleb found the situation endearing. He smiled and looked into Molly’s eyes. They had a very faint pale pupil at the center, he had noticed. It was the sort of thing one really had to be paying attention to see, but so long as Molly didn’t mind him staring Caleb didn’t mind getting lost in their crimson beauty.

Molly took Caleb’s hand and kissed it. After a moment of thought he kissed the scar on Caleb’s wrist as well. Caleb’s heart skipped. No one touched his scars. He considered them a reminder of his cowardice and weakness. Yet Molly kissed them the way his mother used to kiss his skinned knees and scraped elbows, as though a kiss could heal the wound. Caleb smiled at Molly. Molly smiled back.

“I love you,” Caleb said softly.

“I love you too, my Sunshine.” Molly’s eyes fluttered shut. He pursed his lips ever so slightly.

Caleb leaned forward again, both hands braced on the floor, and kissed him. Oddly enough, they fit together nicely like this. Caleb’s nose nuzzled into Molly’s chin. He felt Molly’s nose pressed into his beard. Somehow, when Caleb spent all those years picturing the sort of romance he would like to have someday, he had failed to consider that he and his partner would be silly together like this. He hoped whoever he fell in love with liked to have fun, but Molly was beyond any expectation he had ever had. If he could have purred, he would. Fortunately, Molly was purring hard enough for the both of them.

Neither of them wanted to end the kiss. They made an unspoken agreement that it needed to, though. Molly couldn’t stay there all day. Caleb sat back. He pulled his knees to his chest and smiled at his beloved. “Ready to come down?” he asked.

Molly grinned. “Depends. Are you ready to go up?”

Caleb tightened his arms around his legs. “I erm… I…”

“You don’t have to,” Molly said. “But if you wanted to do that now then I would have to get off first.”

“Uhm…” Caleb swallowed. He looked up to where Molly’s legs were still firmly hooked around the trapeze bar. He was amazed Molly wasn’t tired yet. Or perhaps he was and he simply wasn’t saying anything. “I… could try.”

“Alright, here I come then.” Molly curled himself up to grab the bar with his hands. He flipped over and dropped to the ground. He stumbled, almost falling onto Caleb.

Caleb quickly got up onto his knees to hold Molly steady. “Easy there,” he said. “Are you alright?”

Molly wobbled. He carefully lowered himself to the ground, one hand pressed to his forehead. “I think I was upside down too long,” he said. “All the blood is rushing out of my head now…” He drooped into Caleb’s arms. His eyes closed and his head lolled to one side.

“Molly?” Caleb patted Molly’s cheek. “Molly, wake up. Wake up. Molly?”

“Ngh…” Molly wrinkled his nose. His eyes opened to thin red slits. He shut them again and groaned softly. “Sorry, just needed to… to let everything settle.”

Caleb kissed Molly’s forehead. “Do not scare me like that,” he said.

Molly chuckled. “I’m sorry. Usually I’m not upside down that long. And I didn’t have much of a breakfast.”

“Well, we can get you something to eat when you’re feeling better,” Caleb said.

“I already am,” Molly said. He stretched, but remained in Caleb’s arms. A smile curled on the edge of his lips. “I do like this though.” He nuzzled Caleb’s chest. “Wouldn’t mind resting here for a while longer.”

Caleb ruffled Molly’s hair. “We can do this in your bed, which will be far more comfortable than a hard floor.”

Molly nodded. “You’re probably right,” he said. He sat up. He blinked a few times and shook his head. “Yeah, that definitely feels better. Thank you for the help, darling.”

“You are welcome.” Caleb stood up and helped Molly to his feet. Molly wasn’t completely steady yet. Caleb wrapped his arms around him. “Are you sure you are alright?”

“I’m fine,” Molly said. He patted Caleb’s back. “I do want you to get up on the trapeze though, just for a moment.”

Caleb looked up. He shivered. “Like I said, I… can certainly try…”

Molly kissed him. “And like I said, you don’t have to if you’re frightened. We can just go back to my room, have some snacks, whatever you want.”

Caleb wanted to be brave. He wanted to be strong. “I want to try,” he said with determination.

Molly smiled. “Okay. I’ll help you up.”

The bar was set so Molly only needed to lift Caleb a little while Caleb stretched his arms up to grab it. He hung there, toes only a few inches from solid ground, and yet it felt like such a long drop if he lost his grip. Molly gave him a boost so he could pull himself up and shakily take a seat on the bar. Caleb held the ropes like his life depended on it — which, frankly, it did — and adjusted himself to sit somewhat comfortably. He beamed.

“I did it!” he exclaimed.

Molly applauded. “I do love to watch the sun rise,” he said, laughing proudly. “Try swinging a little, like a regular swing but… y’know, narrower.”

Caleb shifted his trembling legs forwards, then tucked them back. Forward, back, forward, back. Gradually he built up momentum until he was gently swinging on the trapeze. “And you are sure this is secure?”

“Absolutely positive,” Molly said. “I locked off the rope and double checked it before I came down. You can come down now if you’re ready.”

Caleb bit his lip. He held his legs still so he would stop moving. “I want to try hanging upside down, too.”

Molly flicked his tail. “Um, alright. Are you going to be able to get back up?”

“We will find out,” Caleb said. He smiled confidently, though he didn’t feel very confident at all. This was another fear to conquer. If he could do this, and trust that Molly would be there to catch him if he fell, then he could take steps towards combatting some of his other anxieties.

Molly stood directly beneath Caleb and held out his arms. “Easy now,” he said. “Squeeze your knees as tight as you can around the bar and lower yourself slowly.” He pouted. “This would be so much easier if you had a tail. They’re great for balancing _and_ steadying yourself.”

“I-I-I will hhhave to manage wi-ithout one,” Caleb said. His arms shook nervously, which made his whole body shake. Molly was right there though. Molly wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him. He wouldn’t have suggested Caleb do this at all if he hadn’t had faith that Caleb would make it through this alright. Caleb gripped the bar tight with his legs. Carefully, he leaned back. Even before he was completely upside down the blood began rushing to his head. He could understand why Molly had been disoriented after righting himself. He would probably have a similar issue.

Molly put his hands on Caleb’s back to ease him down. After what felt like an hour of moving inch by inch, Caleb successfully suspended himself from his knees. He grinned. Molly applauded again.

“Can you pull yourself back up?” Molly asked.

Caleb tried to curl back towards the bar. The muscles in his core burned in protest. He drooped back down. “I erm… might be stuck,” he said. His face wasn’t just getting warm from all the blood rushing to it.

“I can help you get down,” Molly said. “You have to trust me though.”

Caleb weighed his options. “I trust you.”

Molly stood behind Caleb and held him firmly around the waist. “Okay, now let go with your legs,” he said. “I’m going to help you lower yourself onto your hands, then we’ll get the rest of you onto the ground. Sound good?”

Anything that got Caleb off this trapeze sounded good. His moment of bravery was over. He proved he could do this and that was enough. Molly was stronger than he looked. He supported Caleb’s weight even as Caleb slid towards the stage floor. Caleb pressed his hands to the dusty surface as soon as he could to hold himself up so Molly wouldn’t have to do all the work. As slowly as he had leaned back to hang upside down, Caleb oozed onto solid ground again. His butt was in Molly’s face briefly, for which he apologized.

“Don’t worry about it,” Molly said. “You’re not the first.”

Since it took Caleb so long to get his entire body down, his blood pressure had time to adjust. As such, he was barely dizzy at all when Molly pulled him up to his feet again. Now that there was nothing to be afraid of, Caleb was able to appreciate his accomplishment. “I survived!” he said, beaming once more.

“You did!” Molly hugged him and kissed his cheek. “I’m very proud of you, Caleb. I didn’t think you would be able to go upside down like that on your first try. I’m not surprised though. You constantly amaze me, so why should this be any different?” He smiled. “Are you ready to go eat and lie down?”

Caleb nodded. He felt emboldened. “And uhm… actually… I’m ready for… something else, too…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who were fans of [Milli](https://twitter.com/_milliiii)'s work before this might recognize the artwork. It was the first bit of AU art she ever posted, and though she promised it would make sense a while ago, now you finally get to see what part of the story it's from!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb takes his next steps towards being the person he wants to be again and Molly is a sweetheart as always (though he does have two new people to add to his Shit List).

Molly suggested they go to the Dragon. No one was going to need it today, as far as he knew, and he promised it would be more private.

Caleb’s heart was racing even more than it had when he was wobbling up on the trapeze. The fear they had driven into him urged him to call this off, tell Molly he changed his mind. Molly wouldn’t care, probably. But Caleb was determined. He was going to take another step forward today. It might not be the biggest step, and he would still be far from ready to be fully intimate with Molly, but in order to overcome his fears he had to face them head on. No one was going to punish him for this. Not unless the Gentleman found out.

The usual pitcher of water sat on the table beside the long couch. Caleb poured himself a glass and chugged it to soothe his parched tight throat. Molly locked the main door as well as the sliding door to the balcony. He drew the curtains so no one could possibly peek in and spy on them. Caleb appreciated the precautions.

“Are you ready?” Molly asked.

Caleb drank a little more. It didn’t loosen his throat enough to allow him to talk, so he merely nodded.

Molly walked over and kissed him softly on the cheek. “Okay. What did you have in mind?”

The words caught in Caleb’s throat. They clustered on the back of his tongue and would not move a hair further. He unbuttoned his shirt with trembling hands.

“Should I take my clothes off too?” Molly asked.

Caleb winced. He let his hands fall to his side. “Ah— I—” He cleared his throat. He had to speak or Molly would have to guess his way through this whole thing and that wasn’t fair. “I— want— to…” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was best to start from the beginning. “W-When I was in the asylum, and they were t-t-trying to um… _relieve me_ of my ‘unnatural desires’, th-they would s-strip me down and…” He nibbled his lip anxiously. Thinking about those times too much was weakening his resolve.

Molly’s eyes were full of soft pity. “You want to recreate that so you can have more control, don’t you?” he asked.

“Er um… in a sense.” Caleb scratched his forearms. “They stripped me so they would be able to tell if I was… becoming aroused, and then they would… well, try to arouse me. Th-They would show me erotic artwork of men, or illustrations of um… perverse acts. If I showed any reaction other than revulsion or indifference they would…” He hung his head. “…punish me.”

Molly stared, mouth slightly agape. “And they thought _that_ would stop you from finding men attractive altogether?”

Caleb shrugged.

“Can I hug you?”

Caleb assessed his current comfort level, then nodded.

Molly tenderly embraced Caleb. His chest rumbled with soft soothing purrs, though there was tension in his posture. “If I ever meet any of the people who abused you, I— I’ll scratch their eyes out and… shove my swords right up their arses.” He kissed Caleb’s head. “I know that wouldn’t change what they did to you, but hopefully it would stop them from hurting anyone else.”

“Mmh…” Caleb closed his eyes. He thought of the other patients who had been there with him. He wasn’t the only person thrown into the asylum simply to be put out of the way. The Sanatorium was located in a remote part of the mountains north of Rexxentrum. Troublesome relatives of prominent figures and persistent courters of people beyond their station were sent there “for their own good,” which was, more often than not, just for the good of the people they were bothering. No doubt that tradition would continue until someone burned the damn place down.

“Do you want to go lie down for a little bit?” Molly asked. “We can both keep our clothes on, but maybe… maybe you should take a moment to get into the right state of mind for this.”

Caleb made a soft noise of protest. If he didn’t do this now, would he ever find the courage to do it again? Or would he continually promise Molly he would get better and never actually do it?

Molly kissed Caleb’s forehead again. “Don’t strain yourself,” he murmured. “If you force yourself to do something you’re not ready for, you’ll only hurt yourself. Trust me, I’ve been there. Of course, my injuries were all physical, and I did recover from them over time, but I would have achieved my goals faster if I didn’t have to spend so much time healing from my own foolishness.”

That was sound logic. Caleb bristled at the thought of accidentally triggering a panic attack and having to spend the afternoon curled up in a ball while Molly fretted over him. “I’m so sorry,” he said.

“For what?” Molly asked, stroking his hair.

“I— You should not have to do this for me. It is like… like asking a professional artist to teach me to finger paint because I am too afraid of the easel to learn on my own.”

Molly chuckled softly. “That is certainly a way to look at it.” He cupped Caleb’s cheek. “Or you could look at it as though are asking someone who is very comfortable with their body and sexuality to help you be comfortable with yours. It’s something I’m happy to do.” He pressed their foreheads together. “It might be you discover that you really aren’t comfortable being intimate like that and you probably never will be. That’s fine. From what I hear, you don’t need sex in your life to be a complete person. This is the life I chose, but we could learn to live a different sort of life together, one we’re both comfortable with.”

Caleb trembled. His eyes burned with tears. This was too good to be true. Even if everything they told him in the asylum was a lie, he had spent years thinking he simply wasn’t meant to be happy. His parents’ deaths, Ikithon’s harshness, the asylum, Astrid… “Y-You want a life… with mm-me?”

“If you want one with me.” Molly smiled uncertainly. “I realize I’m not perfect, and I’ve never had an actual romantic relationship before, so I apologize in advance if anything I do makes it seem like I don’t love you. The only kind of love I’m good at is towards the people I’m close to, and… this is different. I can tell it is. This…” He nibbled his lip. “This _means_ something, and I wish I knew what. We’re both going to have to figure things out. One day you might decide this was better off as… as a bit of fun and nothing more. You’ll want someone more stable, or at least someone who isn’t involved with the head of the Myriad, and that’s completely understandable.” He caressed Caleb’s cheek. His smile warmed. “But if you’re still here when my contract is paid off, I will proudly walk down the street arm in arm with you. And in the meantime I’ll do whatever you need me to so you can be happy.”

Caleb stared in awe and disbelief. He searched Molly’s eyes for any sign of trickery. He braced himself for laughter as Molly ridiculed him for thinking anyone could ever love him that much. All he saw was tenderness. Molly cared. Molly loved him. It wasn’t a trick. Caleb kissed Molly impulsively. Molly kissed him back with an amused purr. Yes, the road they planned to walk together was dangerous, and getting caught would mean disaster for everyone they knew, but Molly was right. Their love _meant_ something. Casting it aside now would destroy them both. Caleb felt guilty for putting the Mighty Nein and the Cabaret at risk. He would feel guilty regardless of what decision he made. There was no right answer to their situation, only one that let them both have what they wanted without taking too many chances. And so long as the Gentleman didn’t have people coming to check on Molly while he was away on business, they were free to be together in moments like this.

“Molly?” Caleb said quietly.

“Hm?” Molly kissed Caleb once more then pet his hair. “What do you need?”

“I— I wish to lie down with you.” Caleb swallowed. He drove back the raging voices in his head. “Naked.”

Molly smiled. “Yeah?”

“ _Ja._ ” Caleb’s heart resumed its nervous racing. He could do this though. No one was here to catch them. Not the Gentleman’s lackeys and certainly not any of the doctors at the asylum. This was a safe place. He could relax here.

Molly kissed him again. “Alright, but if at any time you change your mind, don’t hesitate to speak up. I won’t be offended.”

Caleb unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. His hands shook hard enough to make it a struggle. “I-I-I um… I am-m not the most er um… _fit_ person,” he said, holding his shirt closed. “And I’m s-s-sure you can imagine how… how personal appearance was not my priority f-for a while…”

“It’s alright,” Molly said. “In my line of work I’ve seen all sorts. Everything from gnomes to half-orcs, and even a dragonborn, once.” Noting Caleb’s shocked expression, Molly grinned. “Visiting dignitary. She was… remarkable, but, of course, part of my services involves confidentiality, so we’ll just say I came out of that experience a bit _chafed_ and leave it at that.” He patted Caleb’s arm. “Humans are an odd bunch — a bit flat as far as ears and teeth go, and fragile as cardboard — but you’ve definitely got enough spirit and ambition to make up for it. And to be honest, darling, I don’t care if you’re out of shape or not; that’s not the part of you I’m in love with.” He stepped forward again to stroke Caleb’s hair. “But I’d also be lying if I said I wasn’t curious. Take your time, but whatever you’re afraid of, I promise it won’t happen.”

The problem was that Caleb was afraid of so many things. He was afraid of rejection, of failure, of breaking down. He had come this far, though. Molly was waiting. Caleb shrugged his shirt over his shoulders and let it slide down his arms onto the floor. He averted his eyes so he wouldn’t see Molly’s reaction to his naked torso. At least Molly already knew about the scars on his arms. Not everything about them, but they wouldn’t surprise him.

Molly purred. It wasn’t something Caleb expected to hear and it made his heart skip. “Caleb,” Molly asked softly. “Is it alright if I touch you? The way you were touching my tattoos the other day?”

Caleb swallowed his anxiety and nodded.

“Okay. I’ll be gentle, love, I promise.” Molly cupped Caleb’s cheek. He slid his hand down Caleb’s neck to his shoulder. Caleb hugged himself tight across the chest defensively. This was alright. There was nothing but tenderness in Molly’s touch. This wouldn’t hurt. No one was going to hurt him. Molly ran his fingers through Caleb’s chest hair with another purr. “Very handsome,” he murmured.

Caleb dug his fingers into his arm. _Lies_ , the voices hissed. _He’s playing along with you, making you believe you’re important or desirable, just so he won’t hurt your feelings. The moment he decides you’re not worth the effort he’ll tell you what he really thinks of you._

Molly’s hand pulled away. “Caleb?” Molly took half a step back. “Are you alright? Is this too much?”

“I— I-I-I am ff-fine, Mollymauk. Just uhm… not— used to being treated like this without there being a… punishment after…” Caleb closed his eyes and willed the voices to shut up for one godsdamned moment.

“There is absolutely no punishment for this,” Molly said firmly, though his voice remained calm and soft. “In fact, consider it your reward for surviving a mortal-made hell.” He placed his hands inquiringly on Caleb’s waist. Caleb leaned into Molly’s chest, accepting the offer of a hug. Molly held him comfortingly and stroked his hair. “You’re very strong, Caleb. You might not think you are but I do. It’s just that even the strongest person in the world couldn’t hold up a whole mountain for years and years. You’ve carried this burden alone, but you don’t have to anymore. I’ll help you so you can rest.”

Caleb pressed his face into Molly’s shoulder. If he hadn’t seen the way Molly acted around the other members of his Cabaret family, especially around little Toya, he would wonder why Molly bothered to care at all. Except it was clear that caring was just what Molly did. He disguised it as teasing or self-interest, but even when he was trading casual barbs with Ornna or Bo he was checking up on them, seeing what they needed, even if all they did need was a distraction from something that was bothering them. Caleb felt blessed that somehow he had fallen in love with someone whose entire being focused on making the world around him a better place.

Molly kissed the side of Caleb’s head. “Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you? What do you normally do when you’re feeling anxious?”

“I… I recite poems in my head…”

“Okay!” Molly said brightly. “That’s good! Can you think of any now? I’d love to hear one.”

Caleb struggled to think of any other than the one he wrote for Astrid, the one he accidentally blurted out to Molly. It had helped him win Molly’s affections, but he still associated it too strongly with dark times. There were poems he had already recited for Molly, which he could easily recite again. He wanted to tell Molly a new one though. There was one he could remember, except it was in Zemnian. He chose that one because translating it to Common as he recited it would further occupy his mind and make the voices quieter.

“ _Upon the road to Vasselheim stand two noble trees,_

_One of ash and one of elm, both tall and strong._

_Together they mark the way for pilgrims,_

_Forming an arch of branches across their path._

_Though when they were but saplings together_

_They did nothing but bicker at each other,_

_Rattling their branches and rustling their leaves_

_Trying to prove which was worthy to stand guard._

_Both claimed to be Melora’s chosen champion,_

_Sent to provide wood and shade and beauty_

_For travelers on their way to the holy city,_

_As well as the poor folk of the nearby village._

_They stood firm on either side of the road_

_And grew ever stronger to spite the other._

_In the spring they blossomed with flowers_

_For travelers to admire and pluck for their journey._

_In the autumn the elm’s leaves would turn to gold_

_And the ash’s leaves became red as the setting sun._

_Years passed, and over time they came to realize_

_That their boasting was more playful, teasing,_

_For they had come to admire each other, secretly,_

_And underground their roots grew ever closer,_

_Until one day they touched, there beneath the road,_

_Linking them together in an eternal bond._

_They reached out across the road to each other_

_Until their branches intertwined and linked them further._

_No longer did they argue over which was better._

_They provided for the pilgrims and villagers as one._

_In the spring their flowers bloomed together._

_Autumn found red in the elm and gold in the ash._

_They remained on their sides of Issylra’s road_

_But below and above they are inseparable._

_For Melora did choose to give them purpose,_

_To love and provide for each other for evermore._ ”

Caleb had fully relaxed into Molly by the time he finished. He had forgotten a few lines, something about the elm flexing its thick twisting branches and the ash dancing in the breeze, but he hadn’t wanted to pause and stammer his way through that part so he had skipped it. He felt worse about that than he did about being half-naked in the arms of another man.

Molly purred appreciatively and kissed him. “That was a lovely story,” he said. “Do you feel better?”

“I— do.” Caleb smiled. He hugged Molly, nuzzling into his warmth. “Thank you, _Liebling_.”

“Any time. What would you like to do now?”

Caleb thought for a moment. The voices were quieter and it was easier to actually think. “I would like to be on the bed with you. B-But I would also like to be fully undressed first.”

Molly rubbed his back. “Okay. I can help you if you need me to.”

Caleb shook his head. “I will be alright. I um… should just… do it quickly before I… I have second thoughts…” He reluctantly backed out of Molly’s embrace. His heart set off to a gallop again, but this time he was too busy trying to remember those lines he had skipped to pay attention to the memory of his time at the asylum. A prickle of shame ran down his spine reflexively as he took off his pants and made that memory more vivid. He wasn’t in the asylum though. He wasn’t in that sparse room with the unforgiving chair and doctors all around frowning at him. He was in a beautiful room with a beautiful man, and he was going to be alright. However, he did keep his socks on.

Molly stood in silence for a moment. As Caleb adjusted to his new state of vulnerability, Molly simply gave him the space to do so. After Caleb let out a deep breath and allowed himself to relax again, Molly held out his hand. “Come with me, love.”

They ascended the short stairway up to the Dragon’s bedchamber. Molly quickly undressed, put on a spare set of yarn horn caps he had tucked in the drawers, and got under the covers of the bed. Caleb barely watched him, but saw enough to bring a burning blush to his cheeks. He shuffled in beside Molly, mouth dry and hands shaking. The sheets were smooth satin that felt good on his bare skin. He made himself look Molly in the eyes. Molly was smiling proudly at him. Caleb smiled back.

“Not so bad, is it?” Molly asked. He kept a respectable distance between them, though he took Caleb’s hand in his. “Do you need to recite another poem or are you alright?”

Caleb still couldn’t remember exactly how those missing lines went. He barely cared about it anymore, since there were far more important things for him to consider at the moment, but he didn’t feel like reciting anything else in case he forgot parts of that too. He inched closer to Molly. “I am alright,” he said, almost believing it.

Molly kissed Caleb’s hand. “Good. If that changes at all, feel free to let me know.”

“I will.” Caleb had gotten past the difficult part. He was naked, but he hadn’t been forced into the chair and strapped into that exposed position. On the contrary, he was comfortable and covered, which was a relief. He was very aware that Molly’s equally naked body was less than two feet away from him though. Had he been in that chair, this would be when they would dump the first bucket of ice water on him. He tensed in anticipation, but there was only the warmth of the bed and Molly’s hand.

Molly stroked Caleb’s arm. “No one is going to hurt you,” he said. “Certainly not me, and I’m the only one who’s going to see you like this.”

“I know,” Caleb said. “It’s um… I—” He blushed again and bowed his head bashfully. “I am getting used to… erm, being… aroused… without anything bad happening to me.”

“…Oh.” Molly struggling not to smile and failed. “Take your time, then.”

Caleb nodded and closed his eyes. It had been so very very long since he had complete control over his body. Most of the “treatment” he had gone through sought to rob him of that control, either through drugs or conditioning or just being monitored and scolded when he did something the doctors didn’t approve of. They had limited what he was allowed to eat as well, mostly bland foods that wouldn’t “excite his senses”, so one of the first things he had done after Ikithon had given him his money and sent him on his way was to visit his favorite restaurant and order everything that he remembered enjoying. He had only managed a few bites of each dish, and even that made him sick. He hoped he wasn’t overindulging too quickly with this as well.

After a short silence, Molly’s tail started shifting uneasily. Caleb opened his eyes. Molly had a subtle frown on his face, which faded when he noticed Caleb looking at him. “Sorry,” he said. “I was wondering…” He nibbled his lower lip. “Forgive me if this is an inappropriate question, but… you’ve had sex before, right?” He patted Caleb reassuringly and quickly added, “It’s alright if you haven’t! I just didn’t know if you had before… well…”

“I have,” Caleb said. “It was… only with… with Astrid, never with a man, but… yes, Molly, I have had sex.”

“Ah. Okay.” Molly’s frown returned though. “Do you miss her?”

Caleb locked up. He didn’t know how to answer that question.

Molly grimaced. “Sorry, sorry, I really don’t mean to pry. Forget I said anything.”

“No, no it is alright.” Caleb sighed. “I wanted to tell you about her the other day, when I was telling you everything.” He turned over his arm in Molly’s hand to bare his wrist. “I did this because of her.”

Molly’s breath caught in his throat. He delicately traced his fingers over the thin pale line. “Caleb…”

Caleb laced his fingers together with Molly’s. “I loved her,” he said softly. “Back then I thought it was true love, the strongest love there could ever be. We had already been courting when my parents died, and she was there for me and I loved her all the more for it. She even knew about my… my appreciation for both sexes, but she never told anyone. After I got sent away, she stayed in touch with me. The asylum let me receive letters from her because they hoped my relationship with her would help me forget my ‘unnatural desires’.” Caleb tightened his grip on Molly. “Then after a few years her letters stopped coming. I… I didn’t know why. I feared I had done something wrong and the doctors were punishing me by keeping her letters from me, or by lying and saying she hadn’t sent me any.” He closed his eyes. The tears that had been forming broke and streamed down his cheek. “I wrote her a poem to tell her that when I was released, I wanted to give her all the time in the world to make up for the years we had been apart.”

Molly’s tail slid over Caleb’s ankles, but didn’t coil around them as usual. “Was that the poem you recited for me? When we first met?”

Caleb nodded. His heart was so heavy. He wanted to curl up and sleep until the ache of it went away, as he had so many times before. Molly needed to know the truth, or at least enough of it to understand. “I worked on it for months, honing it and memorizing it until I thought it was good enough. I had written her poetry before, but mostly short ones I came up with while I was… receiving treatment. I must have written it on paper a dozen times trying to make my handwriting as neat and perfect as I could so I could send it to her. But… But then a letter came, not from Astrid but about her.” He trembled. More tears fell. “It was from Ikithon. It included an invitation to her wedding.”

Molly gasped softly. “What?”

“Sh— She was betrothed to Eodwulf, the other boy from our village who was chosen to go to school with us. He was my best f-friend. Astrid never mentioned that he was courting her, barely mentioned him at all other than to assure me he was well and missed me too. B-But there it was, proof that I— that she didn’t want me anymore, or if she did that she was tired of waiting. Had _been_ tired of waiting. And… with the invitation was a note from Ikithon, telling me that Eodwulf was a fine respected man, a far better match for Astrid than someone like me, and that… that he wasn’t surprised Astrid had chosen him instead.”

“Caleb…” Molly brought his other hand up to brush away Caleb’s tears. “I thought I couldn’t hate Ikithon more, but fuck… He didn’t have to kick you when you were down like that.”

Caleb sniffled and swallowed. “The only thing that gave me hope in that place was knowing that I w-would have a life with Astrid when I was released. I… I had even heard they were planning on letting me go within a year.” He sniffled again. “I cracked. If I wasn’t mad when they put me in there, I certainly was after that.” He ran his fingers over the scars on his arm. “I started hurting myself. I would scratch and scratch until I bled. I… think I was trying to dig the sorrow out so it couldn’t hurt me anymore, but over time I came to prefer the physical pain over the mental and emotional anguish. And then…” He touched the scar on his wrist. He shook with suppressed sobs. “I just wanted it all to stop.”

Molly scooted closer to kiss Caleb on the forehead. “I can imagine,” he murmured. “It must have been so awful for you. And… didn’t you say you had to stay there another five years after that?”

Caleb nodded, no longer able to speak.

“Oh, my poor sunshine…” Molly started to move even closer, then stopped. “Is it alright if I hold you?”

Caleb was conflicted. He yearned for the comfort of Molly’s embrace, but they were both naked and he didn’t know if he could handle that. His need outweighed his fear in the end. He nodded again.

Molly was respectful, as always. He tucked the sheets between their hips so there would be a barrier there, but he gently pulled Caleb to his chest to rest against his bare skin. It was so warm. Caleb huddled into it. He sniffled and shook. Molly stroked his back and purred soothingly. “Gods, Caleb… Is there anything else you need to tell me about? I know I’ve said in the past I don’t want you to tell me anything that hurts too much, but now seems like the time to get it all out so you won’t have to hold onto it anymore.”

There were things Caleb could tell him. He could talk about his parents’ deaths, living with Ikithon, picking up the pieces of his broken life after leaving the asylum, but Molly knew the worst of it all. Talking about the rest felt like petty complaints compared to the abuse and madness he had experienced. But he could also tell Molly about why he didn’t hate Astrid, even if he wasn’t sure he could forgive her. He had gone to her house when he returned to Rexxentrum. A servant had opened the door and asked him to wait while they went and fetched her, but Caleb had lost his nerve and quietly slipped back outside. He ran. He was a coward. He just wanted to see if she was happy in her new life, but looking around at the home she and Eodwulf had made together, he could tell she was happy enough that he would be nothing but a bitter reminder of her past. That didn’t stop him from wondering about her. Molly couldn’t answer those questions. Furthermore, Caleb didn’t want Molly to know how much he actually still thought about Astrid. He loved Molly, in a different and possibly stronger way than he loved her.

“Caleb?” Molly kissed Caleb’s forehead again. “It’s alright. Rest if you need to. I’m right here.”

Caleb hummed in gratitude and closed his eyes. He couldn’t sleep away his heartache. He knew from experience that he might feel better when he woke but it wouldn’t magically remove those feelings, only bury them for later. He would be stronger later, though. He was on the verge of shattering and needed a bit of intimacy and peace to pull himself together. Then there were the voices growing louder in the back of his mind, hissing and screeching at him that his feelings for Molly were wrong, that finding comfort in his love meant he was sick, that the thin layer of sheets between them didn’t mean this wasn’t perverted. Sleep would quiet them, if only for a moment…

Molly stroked Caleb’s hair as he dozed off. The poor dear must be exhausted from feeling so much at once. It was good that Caleb was trying to overcome his discomfort with physical intimacy. Molly hated each and every person who had contributed to Caleb’s torment. That included Astrid and Eodwulf now. The more Caleb talked about his past, the more Molly feared that his parents had been the only people who were ever kind to him. Yet somehow, despite it all, Caleb was only ever courteous and well-mannered and affectionate. It proved that Caleb was, beneath all that pain, a truly good person. That goodness shone through like sunlight behind thick clouds. Molly wanted to chase the clouds away and let all of Caleb’s light shine. Knowing what had caused the clouds helped.

Caleb didn’t sleep for very long, but he slept peacefully. Molly worried he might have a nightmare here in the middle of the day. Instead, Caleb awoke after about half an hour, a little sluggish but no worse for the wear.

Molly nuzzled their foreheads together. “Good morning, my love,” he murmured softly. He paused. “It might be afternoon by now, actually, I’m not sure. But either way, hello there. Sleep well?”

“Mhhh…” Caleb stretched and nodded. He snuggled into Molly’s chest. “ _Danke…_ ”

“Are you hungry? Or thirsty? I can go get you something if you want to stay here and rest some more.”

Caleb put his arm around Molly. “Nnn… Stay…”

Molly’s heart melted. “Alright. I’ll stay.” He shifted to entangle their legs the way they usually did when they cuddled. He had to adjust the sheets between them to maintain some modicum of modesty. Hopefully this wasn’t too much for Caleb. To Molly, being naked in bed with someone was nothing to fret over. He usually slept naked and any of his Cabaret family members who spent the night with him in the hottest weeks of summer often did the same. Caleb hadn’t had anyone since Astrid though, that bitch. Caleb didn’t speak of her with any vitriol or anger, so Molly wouldn’t call her that to him, but he loathed her for what she did to Caleb anyway.

Gradually, Caleb recovered. He scooted up to be level with Molly. “You are so very good to me,” he said, smiling warmly. There was still something sad in that smile that made Molly’s chest hurt.

Molly kissed him. “It’s what you deserve.”

Caleb chuckled. “If you say so.”

“I do. And you know what? Most of the time, I’m always right.” Molly grinned. “I’m also an excellent judge of character, and when I look at you... hmm… yes, yes I see nothing but a man who deserves love and care. And perhaps another kiss.”

Caleb smiled, and some of the sadness faded. “Only perhaps?”

“Depending on whether you would like another kiss.”

“I would, if you don’t mind.”

“Ah, in that case…” Molly kissed him more passionately, though he held back from overwhelming Caleb with too much too soon. Caleb was making progress. He wouldn’t upset that by leaping right over Caleb’s boundaries.

Caleb responded well to the kiss. There was no tension, no hesitation, just affection. “Thank you,” he said. “And… so you know, while I did love Astrid very much, and she meant a lot to me, you are by far… _more_ than she is. Was.” He sighed. “I don’t know her anymore. Apparently I didn’t know her then either. And I am aware that we have not known each other very long and I do not know all of you yet, but what I do know, I adore, and I cannot imagine there is any part of you I would not love.”

Molly beamed. “Well I can tell you right now that you won’t have to worry about me running off and marrying the Gentleman, or anyone else for that matter. I’m just not the marrying type.” The tip of Molly’s tail flicked back and forth under the covers as he glanced at Caleb almost apologetically. “Does that bother you? That even though I love you I might never marry you?”

Caleb shrugged then slumped his shoulders. “I wanted to marry Astrid. I— It would have been nice to get married when I was young. At this point I am happy just to love and be loved in return.”

Molly nodded and nuzzled Caleb with a soft purr. “I can do that for you. I never pictured my dream wedding the way Jester always has, mostly because I thought no one would marry me so what was the point in planning ahead for that.” He snorted a soft chuckle. “Which is not to say that no one has asked me to marry them. Plenty of clients have made me promises if I would ‘be theirs.’ Money, luxury, jewels, anything I could want. Except it always felt like they were just trying to buy me, and I don’t belong to anyone like that.” He frowned. His tail lashed. “That’s not true. I suppose I technically belong to the Gentleman like that. At least that’s a temporary arrangement.”

“It’s not a fair one though,” Caleb said. “Gustav should never have put you in that position.”

“I had the option to decline and I didn’t,” Molly said. “I knew I could handle it. But, as I’m sure I’ve told you before, that was because it never occurred to me that I would be in love with someone else.” He stroked Caleb’s hair. “But I’ve had reasons to be busy most of the times he has called on me and so far I’ve been able to satisfy him with little more than good conversation and a massage when he requests one.” Molly didn’t mention what else he had done to satisfy the Gentleman, because frankly it was tame compared to what the Gentleman actually asked him to do and Caleb didn’t need to worry about him more than he already did.

Caleb frowned regardless. “But what if he decides you are not upholding your end of the contract? What if he forces himself on you?”

Molly shrugged. “I won’t let it come to that. Yes, there may come a time when I need to… put more effort into things, but for now everything is alright. And he’s not even around for the next couple weeks, which means I can put effort into far more enjoyable things.” He smiled and pressed his forehead to Caleb’s. “Like spending time with you.”

Caleb bowed his head. “I am… I have not been enjoyable to spend time with recently. I am sorry.”

“You’re fine.” Molly kissed him and purred. “I’m glad I get to help you through this. Otherwise you’d bear it all alone for who knows how long and I don’t want you to have to do that.” He stroked Caleb’s ankle with his tail. “How about this? We both agree that for the next… eh… let’s call it three days, that sounds manageable, we will both endeavor to be enjoyable people and have fun while neither of us has many obligations, alright?”

Caleb smiled. “Agreed,” he said, and sealed it with a kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gentleman is due to return, so Molly and Caleb plan on how to continue their affair unnoticed. Unfortunately, things don't go according to plan at all...

The next three days went by fine, as did the following two weeks of the Gentleman’s absence. Molly and Caleb still tried to be surreptitious about their meetings. Often, Caleb and the Mighty Nein would come over to read through the script with the other actors in the Cabaret. Nearly everyone had comments or questions about their lines, suggestions about what they imagined their character might say from what little they knew about them so far. Fjord demonstrated the accent he had been thinking about, and enough people liked it that it was officially decided that that was the voice he would give to Stone. Sometimes Caleb would let the Mighty Nein return to the Leaky Tap without him so he could discuss lines further with someone, and afterward he would sneak off to Molly’s room. The walls there were as thin as ever, but their intimacies were quiet enough that it didn’t matter.

They tried new things every time Caleb came to visit. Caleb likened it to dipping one limb at a time into water until you were fully acclimated to the change in temperature. Molly had his rule about never fucking in his private room, which helped keep Caleb comfortable; so long as they were behind Molly’s locked door, things would never go that far so there was no need to worry that they might

Caleb learned the many nuances of Molly’s body before Molly got to know his. Molly was very comfortable being naked and allowing Caleb to touch him wherever he wanted. Caleb had indeed heard about tiefling cocks — it was the sort of thing older students at Caleb’s school liked to gossip about, how each race differed in their anatomy and what that might mean about their sexual performance — so when Molly first showed him what happened when he became aroused Caleb wasn’t too surprised. He did remark that it was odd that the pattern was only on the underside, and that it was similar to the pattern of ridges on Molly’s horns. Molly had never been with another tiefling who had a cock so he couldn’t say for certain, but according to Marion the pattern of erectile cartilage differed as much as horns did.

But then Molly got a chance to explore Caleb, little by little. His bare chest one day, his legs up to the knee the next, followed by his thighs the day after that, although it took a few false starts before Caleb was ready to be touched in more private areas. The final test that he put himself through was sitting naked on Molly’s bed while Molly sat astride him, pinning him to the headboard, equally bare. Caleb had had a minor panic attack. When Molly tried to back up and give him space, Caleb just held him tighter. The best way out was through, because then he would be on the other side and wouldn’t go back to being scared again.

Their final week before the Gentleman’s return felt desperate, in a sense. Instead of seeing each other every other night the way they had been before, Caleb fabricated excuses to linger every night. Once, inspired by the trick Molly had pulled, Caleb got himself drunk and Molly declared that he was too intoxicated to walk home, even with an escort. Since nearly everyone had spent a night or two in Molly’s room and knew his rules about sexual misconduct, no one questioned it when Molly said Caleb would sleep with him, albeit on a bedroll on the floor that ended up not being used.

“I don’t want you to have to be with him,” Caleb said the day before the Gentleman was due to return. He had sent word ahead of him that he intended to come visit Molly after he was settled back in Zadash.

“Are you jealous, Mister Caleb?” Molly teased, though he fully agreed with Caleb.

Caleb sighed. “Not… _jealous_. Frustrated. You cannot stand him. Maybe you should tell Gustav to see if you can get out of the contract by expanding the amount of money he needs to repay.”

Molly stroked Caleb’s back. They were both clothed, lying in bed, Caleb’s head on Molly’s shoulder and his arm around Molly’s waist. Molly knew Caleb’s back now, though, knew the freckles and scars and the shape of his muscles. He traced his fingers over where he remembered there being a particularly large freckle. “I can’t ask him to do that,” he said. “I agreed to this. It’s a matter of honor. The Gentleman might feel insulted if I just say, ‘I’d rather owe you another hundred thousand gold than have to be your exclusive companion.’”

“Then don’t say it like that. Tell him… Tell him you are concerned it will negatively impact your performance if you have to juggle your time between him and rehearsals.”

“I _already_ don’t allow him to call on me when I think it will ‘negatively impact my performance’. The problem is that we aren’t starting official rehearsals yet and I don’t have shows I need to take time for anymore, which means I have fewer excuses to tell him to kindly fuck off for the evening.” Molly kissed the top of Caleb’s head. “Believe me, dearest, I’m doing what I can to give him the bare minimum, but I still have to give him _something_.”

Caleb clenched his hand into a fist on Molly’s chest. “I’m going to give Gustav my writer’s fee back.”

Molly stared at him with wide eyes. “Caleb, you don’t have to do that! You need that money.”

“No, _you_ need that money.” Caleb pushed himself up to meet Molly’s gaze. His brow was hard with determination. “I can find work elsewhere, even if I have to dig ditches all through the night, but the more money you have, the sooner you can repay your debts and be free of him.”

Molly opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated. He took Caleb’s hand in his. “I won’t ask you to do that,” he said. “If you’ve made up your mind, that’s all well and fine, but I can tell you now that Gustav won’t take it either, nor will Desmond. I suggest you hold onto that money, and instead of spending your nights digging ditches, help us make this the most incredible show it can be so we sell out every night and earn the money to pay our debts in no time.” He smiled. “And you can spend your nights with me instead.” He draped his arm over his forehead in a wilting gesture. “I imagine the pressure of stardom will lead me to have _many_ evenings when I am simply too exhausted for company, but if the writer wishes to meet with me and assist me with my lines, then how could I refuse?”

Caleb’s expression softened. He stretched up to kiss Molly’s cheek. “You are so very dramatic, _Liebling._ ”

“Thank you,” Molly said with a grin. “Think I could make a career of it?”

Caleb shrugged. “ _Ja_ , perhaps, if you could find a troupe that doesn’t mind being outshined on stage every evening.”

Molly purred. “If you came and watched me perform, they would hardly notice my starlight in the presence of such brilliant sunshine.”

Caleb chuckled and kissed Molly again. “Then I will wear a thick coat so it is not too distracting.”

They cuddled and kissed and told themselves reassuring things until it was growing to be a suspicious hour. Molly said if the Gentleman tried to pay him a call the next day, he would feign illness or an injury and have him sent away. Of course, it wouldn’t be anything so severe that he couldn’t rehearse his lines if a certain writer came by with a new scene he had invented at the last minute. Such tricks wouldn’t work forever, but they helped Molly feel that he was at least partially in control of this situation.

Molly felt bad for Caleb, though. He had almost no control over anything that was happening. He could provide more pages, more scenes, more lines that Molly would need to take time and memorize. The play could only hold so much. Already there was talk of paring down some of the scene that dragged on too long because Caleb gave Lucien multiple monologues. Furthermore, Gustav wanted more action. He wanted a spectacle, and while Caleb’s poetry was certainly charming, most of Gustav’s feedback included pointing out places where Lucien could show off his acrobatics or one of the other cast members could use their own skills on stage.

And yet Caleb never told Molly it was too much. He understood the consequences he might face if they were found out. Molly imagined they must remind Caleb of the punishments he went through at the asylum when they found out he was writing more poetry or fantasizing about men. Caleb was clever and cautious. He knew when to stay and when to go. He always stayed until it was truly foolish to do so. Molly appreciated his company. The members of the Cabaret had been his loyal friends and family for years, but somehow he hadn’t felt so complete until Caleb entered his life.

To show his appreciation, Molly decided to try to make that Zemnian dish they had had at the Harvest’s Close Festival. He wasn’t sure what was in it except for doughy noodles, caramelized onions, and lots of melted cheese. It was a place to start from. The kitchen happened to have everything he would need, although tomorrow he intended to go out to the markets and purchase more to replace what he used.

Jester came in while he was preparing the onions. The noodles were already boiling. Molly figured if he overcooked them they would be soft enough. “Hey _Mooooo_ lly,” Jester said, sashaying up to him. “Whatcha making?”

“Remember the lunch we had at the Harvest’s Close Festival?” Molly asked. “That really good cheesy noodle dish? I had a sudden craving for it so I’m trying to make it myself.”

“Oh, you mean the one _Caaa_ leb really liked?” Jester swished her tail knowingly and grinned. “Is he coming to visit today?”

Molly rolled his eyes. He brushed the onion skins aside and got the knife. “Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. He just kind of shows up when he wants to talk about the script.”

Jester wrinkled her nose in a wider grin. “He’s been doing that an awful lot lately.”

“Yes, well, what else do we have to do? We’re not putting on shows every night and they’re not done with the new stage yet. How are you doing with memorized the lines so far?”

“Oh, pretty good. Caleb is a really good writer, isn’t he?”

Molly sliced the onion in half and started dicing it. “Of course he is. That’s why we hired him.”

“And he’s _rrrrreaaally handsome too_ , isn’t he?”

“If you’re into that sort of thing, I suppose.” Molly tried to keep his hand steady, but he also wanted to look casual and aloof.

Jester stirred the noodles, her tail still swishing. “I was thinking about asking him out maybe.”

Molly tensed. She was trying to goad him into admitting his feelings. It wouldn’t work. “Tired of chasing Fjord already? Okay then.”

Jester whirled on him with a huff. “Molly, just say you like Caleb!” she hissed in exasperation. “He comes to visit you all the time, you don’t let any of us hang out with you two while you’re in your room, it’s _so totally obvious that you two are sleeping together!_ ”

That made Molly lose control of the knife. He pulled his hand away just in time to avoid slicing himself. He glared at her. “I am _not_ sleeping with him! You know the rules about my room!”

“Yeah, but that’s for _us_ , and for _clients_. Caleb technically isn’t a client, right? He’s not paying you, and you can’t have other clients now anyway.” Jester narrowed her eyes with a wry smile. “You two are totally fucking though, aren’t you?”

Molly lashed his tail in frustration. “I can honestly tell you we are _not_.”

Jester did seem surprised. Her tail drooped, but the tip twitched curiously. “Do you _like_ him though? Like, _like_ like him?”

“No,” Molly said reflexively. “He’s a likeable person, yes, but it’s not… we…” He paused for a moment. Jester would figure it out eventually. She thought she already had. It might be best to correct her. And when they were younger, pulling pranks and getting into mischief, Jester had always been good at distracting people or just drawing them away from wherever Molly was doing his part. She could be a valuable ally in keeping the Gentleman unaware. “Okay, yes, fine, I…” Molly set down his knife. He leaned on the counter and hung his head, braced for the reaction he knew was coming. “I have feelings for him.”

Jester squealed in delight. She leapt over and hugged him. Bouncing in place she exclaimed, “I knew it I knew it I _knew_ it! You _love_ him!”

Molly neither confirmed nor denied her statement.

Jester gasped. “You _do!_ Oh my gosh! Molly that’s _wonderful!_ ” She squeezed him harder.

“It… is, but it isn’t.” Molly patted her arm. At least he could still breathe. “If the Gentleman finds out he is _not_ going to be pleased.”

Jester nodded. She let him go and stepped back. Her shoulders were squared and her tail stuck out in determination. “Don’t worry, I’ve read _so_ many books where the lovers have to keep their relationship a secret. You’re going to be fine. I’ll help you!”

Molly smiled, but her mention of her books made him less sure about this. This wasn’t a fairy tale romance where an author would decide whether he and Caleb got to be happy in the end then craft the story accordingly. There were actual living thinking people involved, one of whom had a lot of power at his fingertips to make Molly’s and Caleb’s lives a hell of he felt so inclined. “Thank you, Jester,” he said. “Yasha kind of knows already, but don’t tell _anyone_ else, okay? _Especially_ not Gustav or Desmond.”

“Can I tell momma?”

“…I’ll tell her,” Molly said. “I had questions I wanted to ask her anyway.” He picked up the knife again. “If you want to help while you’re here, though, would you mind keeping an eye on those noodles for me? I want them soft, but not falling apart.”

“You got it!” Jester pranced back over to the stove and continued to stir the pot.

Molly knew Marion wasn’t going to scold him for his affair with Caleb. If the rumors were true, she had been in a similar arrangement with the Gentleman, once upon a time. She hadn’t been under contract, but she had been working for a stricter establishment that didn’t appreciate her giving out services for free. The Gentleman must have been so different back then, a lifetime ago, because while Molly couldn’t deny he had a certain charm about him, it was drowned in the smarmy self-entitled way he did everything. Would Caleb be like that someday? No, Molly assured himself with a frown as he continued chopping the onion. Caleb had suffered at the hands of people like the Gentleman too much to become like them. Caleb was unlike any client Molly had ever had, which made this all the more challenging. Molly would definitely have to seek Marion’s advice. She had taught him everything he needed to know about his new duties when Gustav decided he was old enough, including things that only another tiefling could teach him. Molly wanted Caleb, _had_ wanted him since that first night. He was willing to wait, but we was worried that when Caleb was ready, he was going to mess things up and make whatever anxieties Caleb had worse. Marion might know how to—

The knife slipped on the smooth curve of the onion. Molly felt it slice across his thumb, but then all he could think about was how oddly this felt like when he had fallen off his trapeze, and how he was going to be okay because the net was there to catch him.

Then there was a sharp thick pain in his head and everything went dark.

* * *

Caleb knocked on the back entrance to the Cabaret. He clutched his briefcase in both hands. No one answered, so he knocked again. He checked his pocket watch. After his visit when Molly had him get on the trapeze, he tried to be a minute or two late to their private meetings in anticipation of Molly’s sense of time. If Molly himself wasn’t there at the door waiting for him, Yasha would be there to let him in. Still no answer. Caleb looked around nervously. The script in his briefcase provided him with an alibi, but he did look somewhat suspicious just standing here knocking. He tried one more time, louder than before.

A moment later the door opened, but it was Ornna who answered. “Yes?” she asked, brow pinched in annoyance.

“Er um…” Caleb held up his briefcase. “I am here to see Mollymauk? I uhm… have a new scene I wanted to talk to him about.”

Ornna cocked an eyebrow at him. Caleb usually didn’t mind being around her at table readings, when there was some distance between them, but this close he could feel the heat of her fire genasi heritage stifling him. Molly was warmer than most people too, but his was a pleasant heat, like holding a bowl of fresh soup on a chilly day. Ornna’s presence was like sitting next to a sunbaked window in the dead of summer that you couldn’t open to get a cooling breath of fresh air. Furthermore Caleb got the impression that she wasn’t pleased to find him on the Cabaret’s doorstep. “Molly’s not taking visitors,” she said bluntly.

Caleb was confused. Had he gotten the time wrong? The date? “He… He told me to come at eight o’clock.”

“Yeah, well, all I know is he’s I’ll or injured or something like that, I don’t actually know or care much because he’s probably just throwing a fit over nothing for attention again. But I _do_ know that he’s not fit for visitors. Gustav’s orders.” Ornna waved her hand in a bored shooing motion. “So off you go then. Try back tomorrow.” With that, she closed the door in Caleb’s face.

Caleb stood, stunned, staring at shut door. Molly had said he would tell the Gentleman he was sick or injured so they could meet instead. But _Gustav_ had ordered that Molly not have any visitors? That could mean that Molly really _was_ unwell, but it could also mean that Gustav had found out about them. It could mean everyone would turn him away when he came by for anything other than these last few meetings about the script. His heart clenched.

Or it could mean that Molly himself had asked Gustav to make the excuse for him. Molly didn’t want to see Caleb anymore, and this was his way of expressing it.

Caleb turned and walked back to the Leaky Tap in a daze. He managed to wait until he was back in his room, sitting with his head in his hands, to let the tears flow.

* * *

Molly awoke in his room. Two people were talking, but he didn’t understand that until after he had listened for a moment. Initially he thought it was buzzing insects. He lay very still so they wouldn’t come sting him. Except his head already hurt like he had been stung by a dozen wasps all concentrated on the same place. He winced. The motion pulled on the skin of his forehead, including the bandages that were wrapped around him.

The door opened and shut. A single set of footsteps came over to Molly’s bed. Molly peered through barely open eyes. He saw a large dark black-and-gray form above him.

“Hey Yasha,” he croaked.

“Molly!” Yasha dropped to her knees and took his hand. “Oh, gods, Molly, I’m so happy you’re awake!”

Molly winced again, this time from how strong Yasha’s grip was. “Ahh! Angel, please…”

Yasha relaxed her hands, though she didn’t let him go. “Sorry. We were really worried about you though.”

“We?”

“Yeah, me and Jester and Gustav and a couple other people too.”

Molly’s hand was itchy. Unfortunately Yasha was holding the only other hand he had to scratch it with. He wriggled his tail up to rub at it with one of the points. His hand was also wrapped in bandages. “What happened?”

Yasha frowned at him sadly. “You fainted and hit your head on the counter,” she said. “Jester was there, though. She carried you to Gustav so he could call for help. Doctor says you don’t need stitches in your hand, but you _are_ going to need to replace those bandages every day for a week until he can come back and have a look at it.”

Molly didn’t know what to make of all this. Everything hadn’t fully come into focus yet. He closed his eyes tight and tried to remember. Then his eyes snapped open as his heart plummeted. “Caleb!” he exclaimed, struggling to sit up. “Where’s Caleb?”

“Hey hey! Lie back down!” Yasha gently but firmly took Molly by the shoulders and held him still. “What about Caleb?”

“Caleb was supposed to come meet me today! What time is it? He’s going to be here at eight o’clock.”

“Molly…”

“Gods, did Jester finish the noodles?”

“Molly!”

“I can—”

“ _Molly!_ ” Yasha clamped her hand over Molly’s mouth. Sometimes it was the only way to get him to stop talking. She exhaled. “Molly, it’s after ten.”

Molly’s heart filled with dread. “No. No no no no, it can’t be. It was… It was just barely seven when I put the noodles on. I… I can’t have been out for that long, can I?”

Yasha gave him a pitying look. “I’m sorry.”

“But Caleb? Did Caleb come by? Was he looking for me?”

“I don’t know,” Yasha said. “Gustav told everyone not to bother you.” She stood up. “I should go get him. He’ll want to know you’re awake.”

Molly just nodded. “Okay.” Caleb had come. Of course he had come. He was always so punctual, right there at the door when Molly let him in on the occasion that he came over without the rest of the Mighty Nein. Someone would have told him Molly was injured. Which meant wherever Caleb was, he was probably worried sick. If Molly wasn’t having trouble establishing exactly where the floor might be if he stood up, he would go to the Leaky Tap immediately and let Caleb know everything was alright. As it was, he wasn’t sure anything was alright.

Yasha returned with Gustav a few minutes later. Gustav clapped his hands together in relief. “Ah! Molly my boy! Good to see you finally awake. I was starting to worry that you would be out all night.” He sat on Molly’s bed. He took Molly’s hand and smiled. “Reminded me of when I first found you and you slept through most of your fever. Most people didn’t think you would make it, but I said to them, ‘This one’s strong, I can tell! He can get through this!’ And that’s what I told the doctor too, isn’t it Yasha?”

“Mhm,” Yasha said, nodding.

Gustav patted the top of Molly’s head. “I knew a little bump on the head wouldn’t be enough to do you in. But what happened? Jester said the two of you were cooking, then suddenly you just collapsed and you were bleeding all over the place.” Quietly he added, “Don’t worry about the kitchen, we got that all cleaned up. Jester forgot to turn the stove off though, so your dinner was _far_ too overdone by the time we got to it.”

Molly didn’t care about any of that. He needed to talk to Caleb. “Yeah, yeah I’m sure it’s fine.”

“…Molly, are you alright?” Gustav put up his hand with his thumb and pinky finger bent in. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“What’s a finger?” Molly asked. He snickered. “You’ve got three fingers there, my name is Mollymauk Tealeaf, this is my room at the Cabaret of Curiosities, and I cut my hand while chopping an onion because I wasn’t paying attention. Must have fainted at the sight of the blood.”

Gustav furrowed his brow. “You’ve never fainted at blood before.”

Molly shrugged. “There’s a first time for everything, I suppose.”

“Mmm, well…” Gustav turned to Yasha. “Go let Jester know Molly’s awake. She’ll want to know, too.”

“Okay, Gustav.” Yasha reached out to squeeze Molly’s hand one more time before she left.

When it was just the two of them, Gustav said, “Alright, Molly, tell me. What really happened?”

“What I told you,” Molly said. “I was chopping onions, I cut my hand, next thing I know I’m here.”

Gustav thought quietly for a moment. “The doctor did say a shock like that might have made you feel weak at the knees, which would be when you hit your head. Are you sure there’s nothing else?” He stared intently at Molly. “Something that could have been a factor?”

Molly knew that expression. He never liked it. It meant he was caught. “Like what?” he asked innocently.

“Like the stress of trying to hide your little trysts with a certain someone from me,” Gustav replied, cocking an eyebrow. “I know you’ve been sneaking him out of the Cabaret hours after the rest of his troupe has gone.” When Molly began to protest, Gustav put up a hand. “No point in denying it, Mollymauk. I see more of what goes on around here than you might think. And I know this contract puts you in a rather constricted position that you’re not used to, so alright, you had some fun while the Gentleman was away.” Gustav pointed his finger at Molly. “But it stops now, yeah? Our _generous investor_ has returned, and I had to let him know you were unavailable tonight, but once you’re better, if he comes calling on you again, I’m afraid you’ll have to answer.”

“I know that, Gustav,” Molly growled. His tail tip flicked angrily. “And there is _nothing going on between me and Mister Caleb._ ”

Gustav sighed. “So long as the Gentleman believes that, very well. But the best way to make him believe there’s nothing going on is for there to _actually be nothing going on._ That means no letting Mister Widogast into your room after rehearsals, no solo ‘script adjusting’ sessions with him, and for our sakes, if Mister Widogast and the Gentleman both happen to attend rehearsals, _do not_ let the Gentleman catch you making eyes at the writer.” He poked Molly in the chest. “Remember, if you break that contract, we lose _everything._ ”

“I _know, Gustav!_ ” Molly’s tail thrashed. “Which is why I would never even _think_ about having an affair with anyone else right now! I know how much effort you’ve put into getting us this far and I won’t let it go to waste!”

The two of them stared each other down for a moment. Molly wasn’t about to flat out admit that Gustav was right. He had to prove that if anyone asked, he had no feelings towards Caleb whatsoever other than gratitude for his work.

“Get some rest,” Gustav finally said. “You should drink water. Doctor’s recommendation. He left some medicine too, which you should take twice a day, help your wounds heal faster. Hopefully you won’t get scars from these ones, at least not the one on your head.” He stood up. “Goodnight, Mollymauk.”

Molly held Gustav’s gaze. “Goodnight, Gustav.”

Gustav left, though he checked over his shoulder on his way out. Molly was still staring at him. It was only when Molly was alone again that he closed his eyes and allowed himself to worry again. What was he going to tell Caleb…

Yasha came back once more, this time with Jester, who flung herself at Molly and hugged him. “Oh gods Molly it was so awful because I was just watching the noodles like you told me then I heard this big _thump_ and I looked and you were on the floor and there was blood all over the place and I was so worried I didn’t even turn the stove off I just rushed you to Gustav because he would know what to do and you were—”

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down,” Molly said, patting her back. “I’m alright now. Just had a little fainting spell. Nothing to worry about.”

Jester pouted at him. Her eyes were wide with concern anyway. “And poor _Caaa_ leb!” she said. “If he was supposed to be here tonight then someone must have told him to go away because you were unconscious and he’s probably in room right now thinking that you’re _dying_ or something!”

Molly sighed. “I know…” He gently tugged her tail. When she sat up he looked her in the eye with a serious expression. “I need you to deliver a message for me.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their relationship hits a rough patch as outside forces pull them apart, but fortunately Molly and Caleb have allies who can help them.
> 
> And even in these dark times, Caleb finds plenty of inspiration.

Caleb lay in bed, eyes open but not seeing much of his room around him. He had the lumpy stuffed cat Molly had won at the Festival clutched loosely to his chest. Sleep hadn’t been easy and he was tired. Still, it was a time when people would expect him to be awake. One of the Mighty Nein might even pop their heads through the hole in the ceiling that had yet to be fixed and ask him to join them for breakfast. Then again maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe no one really liked him. Maybe the asylum had stripped away too much of him without putting anything of value back that he simply wasn’t capable of having meaningful connections with other people. He didn’t blame Molly for not truly loving him. He just wished it hadn’t been like Astrid all over again, everything fine one moment and then suddenly he was shut out. The comfort he found in this was that the heartbreak could prove a source of inspiration for some poetry, if he could bring himself to get out of bed and write any down.

There was a knock at his door. At first Caleb thought it was Molly. He dared to hope for one shining heartbeat. That hope sank back into the mire of melancholy when he heard Caduceus’s voice coming from the other side.

“Hey Caleb, I brought you some tea.”

Caleb lifted his head. Tea? Caduceus had brought him tea? Why? “Er, come in,” Caleb called out. He didn’t call very loudly, since it felt wrong to disrupt his mood of quiet sorrow. The door opened nonetheless and Caduceus entered with a fresh cup of tea on a saucer. Caleb pushed himself up and set the stuffed cat aside. “Uhm, I do appreciate it, but… may I ask what the occasion is?”

Caduceus’s ears swiveled. “Ah, well uh… I wasn’t exactly listening in last night but…” He gestured to his large ears. “I’m pretty perceptive. Forgive the assumption, but it sounded like you had a rough night. Thought maybe some hot tea would uh… soothe any remaining unfortunate feelings you had.”

“Oh.” A reflexive jolt of anxiety had spiked down Caleb’s back when Caduceus said he had heard him crying. However, Caduceus’s reaction hadn’t been to scold him for being hysterical, quiet though he had tried to be, but to bring him a comforting cup of tea. Caleb accepted the cup and saucer with a soft “Thank you.” The warmth reminded him of Molly. However, as opposed to Molly’s perfume with its underlying scent of lavender, this tea smelled sweet and tangy.

“Added some citrus and vanilla,” Caduceus said, ears perking. “Usually helps me feel better, at least.”

Caleb tried a sip. “Oh Caduceus this is wonderful,” he said with a genuine smile. “Thank you very much for your kindness.”

Caduceus smiled back. “Happy to help,” he said. “If there’s anything else you might need, you know where to find me.”

Caleb chuckled and fiddled with the handle of the cup. What he needed was something Caduceus couldn’t provide him. He thought he had had it with Molly. All the progress he had made with Molly’s help… the way Molly had treated him… like he meant something… “Yes, I know where to find you,” he said. He took another sip of tea. The flavors coated his tongue and the warmth pooled in his chest. If only he could hold onto that feeling while his heartbreak healed.

Out in the hall there were rushed heavy thumps of someone charging up to Caleb’s door. Caduceus had left it ajar, and suddenly it slammed open. “Knock knock, Caleb! I hope you’re not _nnnaked!_ ”

“ _Jester?_ ” Caleb exclaimed. A bit of tea sloshed from the cup as he jumped in alarm, but fortunately he caught it with the saucer. “ _Was m—_ Wh-What are you doing here?”

Jester didn’t answer right away. She beamed at Caleb’s current guest. “Hi Caduceus!” she said cheerily.

“Hey Jester,” Caduceus said. He seemed amused by this sudden intrusion.

“Umm, I need to speak to Caleb in private, please,” she said. “Just for a minute. Then I wanted to talk to you too. Do you have time right now? Or, you know, when I’m done here?”

“Sure! I’ve uh, also got some hot water left over if you want tea.”

“Oh I’d _love_ some tea! Thank you, Caduceus.”

Caleb sat and stared at this exchange, still bewildered that all this excitement was happening in his room when not five minutes ago he had been comfortably wallowing in solitude. “Erm, Jester, n-not that I don’t appreciate your visit, it’s just um… _why_ are you here?”

Jester looked at him with confusion, as though she had already explained. Then her eyes lit up with realization. “Oh! I’m here because Molly sent me.”

“Molly?” Caleb sat up straighter. He set the cup and saucer on his nightstand. “What about Molly?”

Caduceus bowed his head and stepped back towards the door. “I’ll uh, leave you two to it.” He frowned then muttered to himself, “Two to to two too…” He shook his head. “Come on up when you’re done, Jester. I’ve had an idea for the ending but it involves a cannon full of flower petals and I uh… I’m not sure if that’s a thing we can do.”

Jester gasped. “ _We can make it a thing!_ ” she said, her voice so strained with excitement it was nearly a growl. Caleb could hear her purr as she considered the possibility. The script called for a shower of petals at the end as Lucien and Stone shared a triumphant kiss, but so far they were just going to have crew members up in the fly loft dumping them out of buckets.

When the door shut behind Caduceus, Caleb got to his feet. He was shaky from lying in bed for over half a day. “Jester,” he said pleadingly. “How is Molly?”

“Okay, so first, everything’s fine. I mean, technically it’s not because Molly hit his head pretty badly last night and there was like, blood and stuff everywhere, but other than that he’s okay!”

Caleb’s heart dropped so fast it made him nauseous. He had to sit back down. “Wha— _What?_ Jester, what happened?”

Jester tucked her tail around her chest and fiddled with the bow at the end. “Weeell, he was making that good cheesy noodley dish we had at the Festival because you were coming over and he knows you really like it, but he was chopping up an onion for it and the knife slipped and cut him and then he was like ‘Oh my gosh I’m bleeding!’ and fainted, but he hit his head on the counter. Good news: I was there and I took him to Gustav and he got all bandaged up but he was out for…” Jester blew out through her pursed lips. “…like three hours or something. He was _super_ sad he missed you. Except turns out Gustav realized you two were sneaking around together and now he doesn’t want Molly seeing you as much because he should be focusing on the play and the Gentleman.” The way Jester said his name made it clear that she didn’t think highly of him either.

Caleb sat quietly as his mind sorted through all this new information. He felt guilty for automatically assuming that Molly had been so heartless that he would just abandon him like that. Molly was such a caring person, of course he would injure himself making a surprise dinner before he would ever hurt Caleb like that. Caleb was sad he wouldn’t get to try Molly’s attempt at Käsespätzle. Some other day, perhaps. He cleared his throat. “So uhm... I suppose this means you know about… _us_ as well?”

“Oh, yeah! I mean, I kinda figured there was something between you two because y’know I read a _lot_ of books about love so I can tell these things.” She winked at him with a few clicks of her tongue. “Don’t worry though, your secret is super safe with me.”

Beau had said something similar, not about romance novels but that she could tell he and Molly had feelings for each other just by watching them. Fortunately she had kept mum about it as well, and she had ushered the others away and made excuses for him when he stayed behind after rehearsals to be with Molly. There were times when she shot him warning glances when she thought he was being too casual with Molly in public, though she never actually said anything. Caleb wasn’t sure if that was because she didn’t think this was enough of her business to get fully involved, or if she just trusted that the two of them knew what they were doing and loved each other enough to make it work. He hoped it was the latter, but if nothing else this incident had proved how fragile his hopes really were.

“Aaaand I have a message for you!” Jester said, putting her hands behind her back and swaying her tail proudly. “Molly says that even though you two can’t meet up as much as you used to, he wants to be able to check in with you and let you know he’s thinking of you.” She paused and rushed over to his balcony. She thrust the door open to step outside. “Huh! You _can_ see if from here.” She came back in, shutting the door behind her. “Okay, so, this is like, _so romantic_ and I love it, but…” She pressed her fists to her mouth and squealed quietly in delight. “He’s going to sit on the Dragon’s head and light a lantern because he knows you can see it from your balcony and he says if you want you can light one back to say you’re thinking of him too!”

Caleb was struck once again by awe and adoration and shame. His poor Mollymauk, his Starlight. He wanted to go visit him and comfort him. In his mind’s eye he saw Molly tucked into a hospital bed, a proper clean one with soft light diffused through the gauzy curtains of a nearby window, his head wrapped in bandages and perhaps even a cast on one of his horns. Jester would have mentioned if Molly had broken or chipped a horn when he hit his head, but the image stuck nonetheless. He saw Molly get up on shaky legs, shuffle to the window, and light a lantern for him, gazing out in the world and hoping that somewhere Caleb still loved him. Caleb picked up the stuffed cat and hugged it.

Jester’s eyes grinned wider. “Isn’t that the cat Molly won at the Festival? Did he give it to you? That’s so _sweeeeet!_ ”

Caleb pet one of the cat’s thin triangular ears. He didn’t answer her question, since she clearly already knew the truth. “Tell Molly I will keep my eyes out for new stars tonight.”

“Oooh, secret messages!” Jester winked. “I’ll be sure to tell him. Anything else? You know like, ‘Your kitty misses you,’ or liiike… ‘Look to the sky for a symbol of my love,’ ooor…”

“Er, just tell him I will be watching for him tonight.”

Jester nodded. “Okay! I will tell him a _certain someone_ is going to be looking out for a new star tonight.”

Caleb smiled. “Thank you, Jester.”

“You’re _welcome!_ ” Jester said with a self-satisfied nod. She grinned brightly at him. “Okay! I’m going upstairs to talk to Caduceus now. If you have anything else you want me to tell Molly, let me know!”

“I will, Jester. Thank you again.” When Caleb was alone in his room again the atmosphere felt completely different. The air that was once thick and heavy and just made Caleb want to sleep was alive and electric with anticipation. Caleb threw on some acceptable clothing and ran downstairs to inquire after a lantern.

* * *

There was a lovely sunset that afternoon. Caleb’s balcony didn’t quite face the setting sun, but since he was waiting eagerly for nightfall, he happened to watch the sky turn from pale blue to soft orange to dusky pink with clouds that reminded Caleb of Molly’s lavender skin. With much grunting and straining he moved his desk in front of the balcony door so he could sit and stare out across the city towards the Cabaret of Curiosities. He even opened the doors to let in the cool autumnal air.

Caleb typed up a few poems he had jotted down handwritten notes for. It was slow work, since he looked up every third word or so to make sure he hadn’t missed Molly’s signal. The street lamps were lit and lights came on in the windows of the other buildings, but Caleb knew where the Dragon’s head lay, just over half a mile to the southeast. He could sprint there if he wanted to. He could scale the walls of the courtyard the way he had climbed the Dragon to be with Molly that night, that first time he had let an impulse overcome his fear.

Looking back on it, it felt like a dream, the kind where one knows they are dreaming and thus become aware that they can do anything. In that case, so many strange things had already happened to Caleb that night that one more impossible miracle wouldn’t be too farfetched. That didn’t make it any less of a leap of faith. This was a leap of faith as well, though in reverse. Instead of Caleb hoping Molly would give him a chance once he reached the top of the Dragon, now Molly was going to climb the Dragon seeking a second chance from Caleb. Caleb contemplated leaving his lantern off, drawing his curtains, leaving Molly and the Cabaret to their arrangement with the Gentleman. But no, no of course he wouldn’t. His heart wouldn’t let him. The thought of turning a cold shoulder to Molly hurt as much as hearing that Molly was injured. So Caleb waited, lantern at the ready.

He glanced up from his typewriter and there, by the blank space among the buildings where the Cabaret’s circus façade usually displayed its array of colored lights, was a bright spot that hadn’t been there before. Caleb squinted. The street lamps made it hard to see, but he was sure that that light had not been there the last time he looked up. He turned off all the lights in his room and lit his lantern. He rushed out onto the balcony to raise it high. Then he realized how suspicious that might look to anyone below. He retreated back inside but kept his lantern visible. He hoped with all his heart that Molly could see it, if that dot of light was indeed Molly. For tonight, he was going to assume the best instead of dreading the worst.

Molly was out there, trying in any way he could to tell Caleb he loved him.

According to the clock on his wall, Caleb sat at the edge of his desk with his lantern for half an hour, staring out at the faint star on the city’s horizon. But in his head he was gone for hours. He imagined that he swooped from his balcony over to the Cabaret, silent and unseen as a raven in the night. He landed beside a delighted Mollymauk, who kissed him in greeting then led him down into the Dragon. They held each other, kissing and apologizing for any misunderstandings about what happened last night. In Caleb’s mind he lay beside Molly on the bed, took off the tiefling’s clothes, kissed his beautiful warm skin with its glorious tattoos, made his way down down down to the part of Molly he longed to lavish with attention…

The voices broke him from his fantasy, along with the reflexive anticipation of shock from ice or electricity. It wasn’t his fault they had provided him with so much erotic material over the years, nor that he had such a good memory. There were things he wanted to do with Molly, and Molly wasn’t even here. He couldn’t be punished for thinking. It was the haven he had found in the asylum: thinking. They could never prove that he was thinking something naughty, just as no one could prove that he had lit a lantern tonight for any reason other than because he wanted to light a lantern, and the fact that across the Outerstead Molly had happened to do the same thing at the same time was a complete coincidence.

Caleb got an idea. He waited until the other light went away, at which point he blew a kiss to the darkness, put a fresh sheet of paper in his typewriter, and began a new poem.

* * *

Every night for the next week, Caleb and Molly would speak to each other with their lanterns. The only message they were sending was “ _I love you,_ ” but that was enough. Caleb presented a new scene to Gustav, one where Lucien and Stone devise a way of checking in with each other, ensuring that Lucien was well and the dragon wasn’t preventing him from wandering within its realm of influence among the forest’s beasts. Lucien would stand at the edge of the dragon’s territory and light a lantern, then through the trees in a place where the Dragon’s spies could not see him, Stone would light one as well, and they spoke to each other even though they were so far apart.

“ _My Sunshine, my Sunshine,_

_Please show me your light divine._

_See, I am here, your Star_

_Calling to you from afar._ ”

“ _My Starlight, my Starlight,_

_I see you through this dark night._

_Look how my light is burning,_

_For you I am always yearning._ ”

“ _Sunshine I wish you were here_

_To fight off my doubts and fears._

_The terror won’t let me go,_

_But Sunshine I love you so._ ”

“ _Starlight I’m always with you,_

_And yet I am lonely too,_

_But keep my light in your heart._

_The terror can’t keep us apart._ ”

Caleb explained to Gustav that it was a way of showing off the theatre’s lighting capabilities, as well as showcasing Molly’s and Fjord’s emotional range in a moment of vulnerable hope. When the Gentleman expressed confusion over such a late addition to the script, Molly told him he had had the idea while the Gentleman was away and hadn’t left him with a way to keep in touch, and that “the writer” had insisted on adding the Sunshine and Starlight names to make it more poetic.

But in a rare moment when they were alone together, Caleb had whispered to Molly, “Whenever you recite this, think of me, and whenever you think of me, recite this to yourself. When you’re with him, you can say you’re just trying to memorize the lines, but I will hear you.” He took Molly’s hand and put it over his heart. “I will feel you calling to me in here, my Starlight.”

Molly had kissed him, purring softly. “My Sunshine…”

Beau and Jester, who had been keeping watch for anyone who might stumble across them, hissed that Gustav was coming, so their kiss was cut short. Both of them hated to part again. They murmured promises that they would find a reason to be together in private again, and not just for a few minutes at a time.

The new poem did help. Molly practiced it by sitting in his room, holding the photo he and Caleb had taken at the Festival, and pretending he could hear Caleb reading out Stone’s lines in response to his own. He felt sad frequently. The empty space Caleb had filled was hollow without him. At least he could look into the image of Caleb’s face and tell himself it would all be alright soon. He didn’t know when soon was, but it had to be coming.

However, Molly had yet to discuss Caleb with Marion. If Gustav had realized what was going on between him and Caleb then maybe she had too, but whether she knew or not, Molly had questions he wanted to ask, advice he wished to solicit.

When he knew Jester wasn’t there, Molly knocked on the door to the rooms she shared with her mother. From inside, Marion bade him welcome. She smiled at him as he entered. “Ah, Jester mentioned you wanted to come talk to me about something.”

Of course she had. Molly didn’t mind. He hugged his tail around his leg. “Yeah, um… is this a good time?”

Marion set down the book she had been reading. “For you, my little plum? I am free for the rest of the afternoon.”

Molly smiled. “Then… I could… I could really do with a face massage while we talk if that’s alright.”

“Perfectly fine.” Marion sat at the head of her bed and patted the mattress. Molly lay down with his head in her lap. She began tracing lines along his cheeks and forehead, taking care around his healing bruise. “Okay my dear, what is on your mind?”

At the moment, Molly’s mind was full of pleasant tingles. Marion has taught him how to do this to clients because it was very calming and some clients just wanted a way to relieve their stress. It was already making this burden much easier for Molly to get off his chest. “I’m in love with Caleb,” he said.

“Oh that’s wonderful!” Marion exclaimed. “You two do seem to get along beautifully. Though I imagine it’s making it difficult to maintain your contract with Baben— ahem, with the Gentleman, hm?”

Molly sighed. “Yeah…” He bit his lip. The next part was the tricky part. He didn’t want to reveal Caleb’s secrets, but he needed advice. “And also… um… the uh… _affair_ Caleb and I have going is working so far, aside from Gustav noticing and telling me I shouldn’t see him as often.”

“That’s the hazard we face,” Marion said. “Our hearts tell us one thing and our employers tell us another. That was how it was with…the Gentleman, back in the day.”

“But there’s something else.”

“Oh?” Marion gently rubbed the base of Molly’s horns with her thumbs. “Something wrong?”

Molly lost the ability to think for a few seconds, focusing instead on feeling the tingles intensify. He purred, then remembered why he was here and cleared his throat. “Caleb and I haven’t… I mean, we’ve had intimate moments with each other but we haven’t had sex.”

Marion chuckled. “That might be good for you. For once you can have a partner who doesn’t expect such things from you.”

Molly flicked the tip of his tail. “That’s true, but we both _want_ to, it’s just… well… he… can’t. Not yet.”

“Ah, can’t as in he prefers to wait until marriage or can’t as in… _can’t?_ ”

“No no, he _can_ , but… he… he had very strict caretakers and now whenever he tries he gets...” Molly gestured vaguely with his hands in an attempt to convey how anxious Caleb could be and the way he locked up when something triggered a bad memory.

“Say no more,” Marion said, lightly walking her fingertips down the sharp curve of Molly’s jaw. “Sexual repression is still commonly forced on young people, even these days. If your Caleb is struggling to overcome what he has been taught then all he needs is some patience. Make sure he feels safe with you, ease him into it little by little until he does not even realize he has done something that he would have been punished for by someone far more cruel than you.”

Molly felt like pudding. Marion was _very_ good with her hands. It made articulating his feelings even more difficult. “I have been, but isn’t there a way to make that, y’know, go faster?”

“Disrespectful ways, yes. The sort of ways that we would call Blude or Bo to put a stop to if it happened to us.” Marion chuckled. “You are spoiled, my little plum. For years you have been able to lure anyone you wish into bed with you, but now you face an actual challenge that requires a bit of waiting and you have come to me pouting about it.”

“I’m not pouting,” Molly said with an undeniable pout. “I just… want to be sure I’m doing this right.”

Marion nodded. She rubbed little circles around Molly’s cheekbones. “It sounds like you are. And if you truly love him then you must listen to what your heart tells you is right. It won’t let you hurt him. When the time is right, both of you will get what you want. It might be tomorrow, it might not be for a few years, but it will happen.”

Molly’s tail wriggled. “I… can wait, if that’s what he needs.”

“He does,” Marion said. She looped her own tail around his and smiled knowingly at him. “I assume he is well-endowed, though, if you are so eager to be with him that way.”

“ _Guh_ , Marion, it’s _gorgeous._ Not just for a human, either.” Molly held up his hands to demonstrate. “It’s _just_ the right amount of girth and not long enough to give him an ego about it but _long enough_.” He whined. “It took _weeks_ for him to be comfortable with me touching it though and I’m _so_ proud of the progress he has made but _gods_ I want to play with it some more.”

Marion giggled. She pinched Molly’s cheeks. “You have waited this long, Mollymauk. A little more waiting won’t hurt you.” She resumed the gentle massage, though her smile became more bashful. “And um… the Gentleman? Have you been able to take out your urges on him or is that not the sort of services he requests from you?”

Molly pouted again. “I haven’t had sex with him either,” he muttered. “Just a little oral pleasure now and then to keep him satisfied but… I don’t… actually want to sleep with him.”

“Well, oral pleasure is not so bad. He was quite fond of it, and quite good at it as well, as I’m sure you’ve discovered.”

This conversation was going places Molly would rather not visit. He tucked his tail closer to his chest. “He um… He has made it clear that he will strictly be receiving, not giving. Says he wants to get what he’s paying for.”

Marion’s expression fell. “Oh. That… That does not sound like the Babenon I knew.” She sighed and stroked across Molly’s brow. “It goes to show what a couple decades and a new position can do to a person. …But are you doing that trick with your tail I showed you? The one he used to like?”

“Oh, yeah, it has been working wonders, thank you.”

“Good. At least some things don’t change.”

They sat in silence for a moment as Marion continued the massage. Molly spoke up with his final question, the one he had really been avoiding. “About Caleb again though… What if I’m just… not right for him?”

Marion shrugged. “Then you let him find the person who is, and you remain a close and caring friend to him. This is another lesson you never really got the chance to learn. Clients come and go, and it doesn’t matter if we see one only once or a dozen times because we don’t develop connections with them like that. But I get the feeling you are bonding with Caleb and you care for him deeply, like you care for your family here, and no one in the Cabaret has left you or broken your heart in such a way.” She leaned forward to place her hand on Molly’s chest. “You have such a good heart, little plum. I wouldn’t want to see it broken either. If this Caleb ever does anything to hurt you, come tell me and I’ll set him right.”

Molly chuckled. “That probably won’t be necessary, but thank you.” He sighed. “No, Caleb is… fantastic. He’s kind and clever and sweet and he has passion like nothing I’ve ever seen but he has also been through such hell. What he needs is someone who can help him and I really want to be that person, but… well, like you said, I’ve never had that connection with someone, except for Yasha and maybe Toya, but I— This is different. This is so different. It’s weird. I just worry I’m going to fuck it all up.”

“You might,” Marion said. “But you also have the power to set things right yourself.” She stroked the crest of Molly’s brow gently. “And I’m always here to talk to if you need me.”

“Thank you, Marion,” Molly murmured. He relaxed into her lap for the rest of the massage. Their tails were still linked together, which was also comforting. Marion had once said she had known Molly was going to be alright the day she was sitting by his sick bed and suddenly felt his tail trying to hold hers. It was something tiefling children often did with trusted elders when they wanted to know they were safe. Molly hadn’t even said a word other than “empty” yet, but that gesture showed he understood the people at the Cabaret were going to take care of him from now on. He was so grateful for everything they had done for him. As much as he loved Caleb, he did feel guilty about doing something that might cause them all to lose the funding Gustav worked so hard to get, but his heart told him he couldn’t just walk away from Caleb. This was going to be tough either way. At least he still had his family to support him.

Caleb was his family now too. Molly would support him however he needed it.

* * *

The new stage was finally finished. Molly and the others had snuck peeks at its progress whenever the construction crews weren’t there. Seeing it without all the equipment and spare material lying around was different though. The long apron was gone, shortened into a more traditional proscenium apron about ten feet wide. The rows of booth seats were gone as well. The house could seat almost a hundred more people. The orchestra pit had changed as well. There was now a short wall at the front of the house that wasn’t quite as high as the stage but still blocked the view of the pit from the audience’s view, and there was a small set of stairs at the center of the stage's edge that connected it to the wall. The conductor would stand beneath that for further coverage so the movement of their arms wouldn’t distract the audience. There was a part of the play where the bestial servants of the dragon slithered and crawled to its lair to report the news to it, and some of them were going to come in from the house up those little stairs. Molly was excited to see it all in action. The secondmost thing he was excited for was the new elevator that went down to the scene shop. Compared to the previous one it was quiet and smooth and Molly rode it up and down half a dozen times for fun.

However, he was most excited because the Cabaret hosted a private opening party for the new stage and the Gentleman had had to leave early to attend to some business. He said he would be back later that evening, but his absence meant Molly could be as openly friendly with Caleb as he wanted to be. Not quite, though, since what he really wanted was to take Caleb back to his room so they could just be together.

It was a nice party regardless. Jester and Yasha had baked cupcakes for everyone and Desmond had prepared a lovely array of heartier snacks and drinks. To test out the new stage, they ran through a few scenes to get a sense of how much space they had to work with. Caduceus showed off the sketches he and Jester had been working on to let them know where he intended set pieces to be, but eventually he wandered off, head tilted up as he muttered to himself about how to hang vines from the battens.

Once things began winding down, Molly came and took Caleb aside to a more secluded area backstage. Caleb kissed him without hesitation. “I missed you, Starlight,” he said quietly.

“I missed you too, Sunshine.” Molly kissed him again. “Do you want to go back to my room? I think we’re not doing any more scenes so they won’t miss me if I vanish for… oh… an hour or so.”

Caleb nibbled his lip. He put his hands on Molly’s waist. “C-Can we go to the Dragon instead? I— I—” His heart was beating so fast. He knew his face must be bright red but it didn’t matter. He had waited this long to say these words and damn it, he was going to say them. “I want to make love to you, Mollymauk.”

Molly furrowed his brows in confusion for half a second before they shot up in surprise. “What, _now?_ ”

Caleb nodded. The voices in his head were so angry with him, but he didn’t care. They didn’t matter. Molly did. “I have been thinking about this since the night you were injured. I think… I _am_ ready.” He kissed Molly’s cheek. His hand slid down to cup between Molly’s legs. Molly gasped softly. “I-Is this alright?”

Molly swallowed. His voice was low and thick with purrs. “It’s very alright, darling, but are you sure? Don’t think you have to do this for me if you’re not one hundred percent comfortable with it.”

“I uhm… heh, I don’t know if I will be _one hundred_ percent comfortable with anything for quite a while, but…” Caleb brushed his thumb over the growing bulge beneath the fabric of Molly’s pants. “We know the Gentleman will be gone for a time, and we are both here together and… and since rehearsals are going to start now I do not know if we will get another chance like this.”

“Caleb…” Molly gently took both of Caleb’s hands in his. “We have time. I can always make excuses o-or feign sickness again, or I can just come over to the Leaky Tap for drinks and, oops, accidentally find myself in your room again, or—”

Caleb stopped him with a kiss. He squeezed Molly’s hands. “ _Liebling_ , I _am_ ready. Trust me, I have put a lot of thought into this.” He hung his head slightly. “And… And I need to do this. I need to prove I am strong enough to face my anxieties, even though I can hear the doctors and… Ikithon all telling me that I’m weak…”

Molly cupped Caleb’s cheeks and turned his face upward to kiss him. “Then let’s go to the Dragon and show those bastards how wrong they are.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Molly confront the consequences of their actions and their friends conspire behind their backs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is preceded by the Explicit-rated short fic [Come What May](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514789), which picks up where chapter 17 ended.

The air in the Dragon was warm and smelled heavily of exertion. Molly took deep breaths of it. The nature of the scent was not unfamiliar to him, but the specifics were new. Rather than reeking of expensive cologne or the sweat of someone who never had to lift a finger for their wealth, it smelled like Caleb. There was also the fact that Caleb was resting in his arms, smelling very much like himself and then some. They were both still coming down from their respective highs. Molly purred proudly and kissed the top of Caleb’s head.

“S-Sorry for um… for not… lasting very long…” Caleb said, burying his face bashfully in Molly’s shoulder.

Molly chuckled. “Caleb, with how many years you weren’t allowed to get any relief like that, I’m a little impressed that you lasted as long as you did.” He kissed him again. “Besides, I followed after you soon enough. _I’m_ sorry about your back, though.” He traced his fingers lightly over the rows of parallel lines that crisscrossed the skin on Caleb’s back. Caleb had seemed to like it in the moment, or at least it hadn’t caused him to falter, but Molly felt bad for doing something that left a mark.

Caleb shook his head. “I… _anticipated_ there being some sort of pain for… what I was doing, but compared to what I was expecting that was… good.” He rubbed Molly’s chest. “But I did alright?”

“I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t the best I’ve had, but it was _so_ very far from the worst. And you can’t expect someone who just relearned how to walk to be a world-class dancer right after. You just need more practice.” Molly purred with a blissful grin. “But I’m guessing you’ve had some practice before this. I can’t think of a single thing you did I wouldn’t ask you to do again.”

“Well they… They _did_ provide me with a lot of erotic material in the asylum. I wasn’t supposed to enjoy any of it, but I have a _very_ good memory.”

Molly laughed. It was the laugh Ornna always compared to a seagull and teased him saying that’s where Gustav got the idea for his name. It wasn’t the laugh he used with clients; it was his real laugh. “So their plan completely backfired? Instead of completely turning you off from the thought of having sex with another man they accidentally taught you how to be better at it?”

Caleb chuckled, blushing on top of the deep pink that lingered in his cheeks. “ _Ja,_ I suppose they did.”

“That’s… amazing.” Molly curled his tail around Caleb’s leg. “I mean, I still wish you never had to go through that bloody nightmare in the first place, but…” He chuckled and shook his head. “That is just so funny, I’m sorry.” He nuzzled his cheek to Caleb. “But I’ll never hurt you like that, I promise. If you like being scratched, that’s fine. If you want to be bitten, that’s fine. But I will never punish you for loving me.”

“… _Danke_ ,” Caleb said softly. He tilted his head to kiss Molly’s cheek. “Thank you for everything, _Liebling._ ”

Molly kissed Caleb’s forehead. They had already thanked each other so much, yet they both had reasons to be grateful. “Thank _you_ for trusting me. I know how tough of a time you’ve had getting to this point and I am _so_ proud of you, my love. I’m glad I can be here for you.” Caleb had given him such a gift. A handful of clients picked Molly as their first time with a hired companion, and some chose to work through their past traumas with Molly’s help, but this was completely different. Rather than filling Molly’s pockets with coin in exchange for his cooperation during a night or two, Caleb had allowed Molly to walk beside him as he took these crucial steps to recovery. Molly just wished they could be more open with their relationship so he could boast to others about how well Caleb was doing.

Caleb stroked his fingers up and down Molly’s chest. “We should… uhm… We should get going soon though, _ja?_ Won’t they wonder where we went?”

“We’ll tell them we were running lines,” Molly said. Caleb was right, but another minute or two of bliss wouldn’t hurt. The sun hadn’t even set fully yet, and if the Gentleman was even going to come back as he said he would, he preferred to visit at night when it was easier for him to move unnoticed. He had enough Crownsguard in his pocket to keep from being arrested on sight, but one doesn’t get to be the head of a criminal operation without having a few people who want him dead. Some nights Molly prayed that one of the Gentleman’s enemies would find him while he was on his way to the Cabaret and put an end to this for him.

They drank in each other’s presence a moment longer. Molly purred softly while he stroked Caleb’s hair. It would be better if they could clean themselves up with more than the simple wet rag Caleb had used to wipe away the mess they had made of each other, but there was no time for that. Molly had a bottle of perfume in the drawers, tucked on his side of the drawer where most of them kept their little trinkets and things they used to prepare for sessions with clients. That ought to be enough to cover the scent of Caleb, not that Molly wanted to be rid of it so soon.

All good things must come to an end, or so Molly had been told. The best parts of his life had thus far been fairly consistent — his family’s love and support, his role as the star of the Cabaret, the adoration of the men and women who clamored for his services — and this wasn’t truly an end. It was a pause, a scene break. The spotlight would be on someone else for a while, they he and Caleb would have their time together again. For now, Caleb helped him to bundle up the sweat-soiled sheets and tuck them into the sink closet for Molly to retrieve later. Molly wished he could have a souvenir from this evening, something to put on his shelves with all the others. He smiled knowing that he had Caleb’s love as a souvenir of sorts, and when this was all over he would put that on display whenever he had the chance.

As they were getting dressed, Caleb slid into Molly’s arms and held him tenderly. “Thank you again,” he said.

Molly scritched the back of Caleb’s head. “You are so very welcome, my Sunshine,” he purred. “Even if we don’t get the chance to do that again for a while, I’m glad we got to do it now.” He kissed Caleb’s forehead. “I’m so proud of you,” he said with a broad smile.

However, the pleasant feelings Molly had that had him drifting like a cloud of bubbles out of the Dragon were cut short by the sight of Gustav waiting for the two of them at the base of the stairs. He had his arms crossed and he didn’t look pleased in the slightest.

Caleb stammered, “Oh er um h-hello, er, Herr Fletching, M-Mollymauk and I w-w-were just— just—”

“Running lines,” Molly interjected. He took Caleb’s hands and looked into his eyes with exaggerated yearning. “Stone, my dearest love, you know I’m telling you the truth when I say I would rather stay with you in this clearing for eternity, but you _must_ go before that horrid beast comes looking for me.” Poor Caleb stared in panic, but Molly rubbed his thumbs over the backs of Caleb’s hands to reassure him.

Gustav sighed. “Mollymauk,” he said in the tone that meant this was not the time for humor. “Wouldn’t it be better for you to rehearse your lines with your actual scene partner?”

Molly shrugged. “Fjord was busy talking to Jester. After all, she needs to rehearse with him too. Hey, speaking of understudies, I’ve been thinking, who are we going to get to be Fjord’s understudy? After all, if he’s going to have one of his collapsing fits and needs to be replaced...”

“Yes, I’ve been thinking about that too.” Gustav frowned at Caleb. “Though I suppose you would rather Mister Widogast be his understudy? With how often you two have… gone over the script together, he probably knows the lines by heart.”

Caleb slipped his hands out of Molly’s and tucked them in his pockets self-consciously. “Oh no, no, I uhm… I am n-not one for the stage…”

“In that case you should leave the rehearsing to those who _will_ be performing on stage,” Gustav said curtly. To Molly he said, “And don’t change the subject. Need I remind you that you are supposed to be _available_ in case our generous investor happens to return and wishes to see you?”

Molly whipped his tail side to side. “I am, when I am not rehearsing or otherwise preparing for a show.”

“And now you are neither.” Gustav jerked his head in the direction of the door back to the house. “So I suggest you return to the festivities.”

“Well alright then.” Molly tilted his chin to saunter past Gustav in a huff.

“As for you, Mister Widogast,” Gustav continued. Molly slowed to hear what he had to say. “I thank you for all the wonderful work you’ve done. The play is fabulous and we at the Cabaret of Curiosities look forward to bringing your words to life. However, I think we’ll be able to handle any changes to the script ourselves from here. You are welcome to watch our rehearsals, but your presence is no longer required for any other matters.” There was a hardness in Gustav’s voice, a dare to challenge his authority.

And yet Caleb replied, “With all due respect, Herr Fletching, if you truly cared about the company Molly kept, you would not have sold him to a criminal.” Swift footsteps approached and Molly picked up the pace so he wouldn’t be caught eavesdropping. Caleb caught up to him anyway. His eyes were wide. “Oh fuck,” he whispered. “I-I-I did not mean to say that out loud I-I just— I mean, it _should_ be said but—“

Molly curled his tail around Caleb’s wrist. “You’re not in trouble,” he said. “Gustav needed to hear that.”

Caleb was trembling. “B-But now he will _really_ be sour with me.”

“Well _I_ appreciate you saying it.” Molly offered Caleb a warm smile. “Give him a week or so, and once the rehearsals really get underway he’ll barely notice you, or the moments when you and I happen to be missing at the same time…”

A brief smile flickered across Caleb’s face as well. He twisted his hand to rub Molly’s tail with his thumb. “Or um… p-perhaps he is right and we shhhould um…” He swallowed. “Maybe we should take some time where we are not seen together, at least by anyone who might… get upset by it…”

Molly’s heart broke, but Caleb and Gustav had a point. He checked over his shoulder. Gustav had not moved from the base of the Dragon’s stairs. He hoped that meant Gustav was thinking long and hard about what Caleb had said. While he knew Gustav’s attention was elsewhere, he snuck a kiss on Caleb’s cheek. “Whatever we do next, we’ll make it work, yeah? At the very least I’ll light my lantern for you when I can.”

Caleb nodded. A stronger smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “ _Ja,_ okay.”

Molly smiled. He nestled the tip of his tail in Caleb’s palm, felt a wave of comfort pass through him when Caleb squeezed it gently. With resolution in his voice he repeated, “We’ll make it work.”

* * *

Caleb sat in bed, rereading one of his favorite tomes of poetry. It was one of the first things he had purchased with the money Ikithon had given him as both an act of defiance and a step towards becoming who he wanted to be rather than what he was expected to be. Caleb Widogast had far more freedom than Bren Ermundrud had had for over fifteen years, and he could buy and read whatever books he pleased.

The board over the hole in his ceiling moved aside. “Oh, right, uh… knock knock?”

Caleb glanced up. “Hello Beauregard,” he said. “Can I help you with something?”

“Yeah, put some real clothes on, we’re going to get coffee.”

“…What?”

“You heard me. Ten minutes.” Beau started to move the board back, but ducked her head down to add, “Wear something nice.”

Caleb continued to stare up at the hole in his ceiling for a moment after Beau closed it up. Beau was usually the most forward of the Mighty Nein — though Nott could be pushy in a maternal sort of way — so Caleb wasn’t entirely taken aback by her sudden “invitation” to coffee. He was more concerned about why he should wear something nice. However, he didn’t have much else planned for the day anyway. Since Beau hadn’t told him to put on his very best clothes, he simply put on a clean shirt with his favorite vest over it and his least wrinkled pair of pants. He also tied his hair up simply because he could hear the wind rushing past his windows and he wasn’t keen on constantly tucking his hair back as it got blown around.

In almost exactly ten minutes, Caleb was ready to go, having also stopped by the Leaky Tap’s upstairs restroom to wash his face and freshen his breath. He suspected that perhaps Beau has found someone else who might want to produce a play of his, or at least publish some of his poems in a local periodical. She would have told him to bring his work if that was the case, but Caleb had the feeling that whatever this was it would behoove him to make a good impression. Beau herself was dressed a little more smartly than usual. Her attire wasn’t exactly the kind Caleb would expect for a meeting with a producer, but it was always clear when she made an effort to be presentable and this was certainly one of those times.

“Okay good,” she said. “You look fine. Let’s go.”

“Go _where_?” Caleb asked.

“I told you, we’re gonna go get coffee.”

Caleb furrowed his brow. “That is it? We are just getting coffee? Why?”

Beau shrugged. “Because you need to get out of your room and stop being boring all the time.”

“Beauregard, I have only just recently started, erm, spending more time in my room ‘being boring’, and it’s not even all the time.” Caleb looked around. “Is anyone else coming?”

“Fjord’s at the train station and Caddy and Nott are both out. And can’t I just invite you out to coffee so we can spend time together?” Beau folded her arms at him in a casual façade.

Caleb gave her a skeptical look. “Are… Is this your way of asking me on a date?” From everything Caleb had seen he didn’t assume Beau was of that inclination, but stranger things had happened to him.

Beau pulled a face. “Eugh, no.” She put her hands out. “Not like that, I mean, you do look fine, but just… _no_.” She gestured for him to follow her. “Come on, let’s get going.”

Caleb accepted that he wasn’t going to get a real answer out of her, so he trailed behind out the door and towards the Pentamarket. It was good to stretch his legs and get fresh air, even if the circumstances were a bit odd. The walk was almost completely silent. Beau just marched forward with determination and purpose. They passed half a dozen establishments that offered coffee, but Beau ignored them all.

After almost half an hour with no further explanation, Beau slowed her steps. Caleb fell in at her side. Were they at their destination?

“Oh my gosh _Beau!_ ”

The cheery voice was undeniable, but it was one of the last voices Caleb expected to encounter out here. Nevertheless, Beau waved and changed her trajectory towards the table outside a nearby café with the familiar blue tiefling.

And the surprised-looking lavender tiefling sitting beside her.

“Wow isn’t this _so crazy?_ ” Jester said. “Like, _what_ are the odds, am I right?”

Caleb couldn’t believe their luck either, then he saw the smile Molly was giving Jester. “We’re just here for the ‘scrumptious chocolate croissants’, huh?” he asked with a knowing flick of his tail.

Jester pouted and gestured to her plate of pastries. “Yeah, they’re really really good! You said so yourself!”

Molly stole a flaky croissant off her plate and it was in his mouth before she could complain. He waggled his eyebrows at her, then turned back to look at Caleb. There was something so soft and joyous in his expression, Caleb felt a poem sprouting in the back of his mind, lines unfurling and metaphors blossoming, though he feared whatever words his planted on the page would not come close to capturing the way he felt right now.

Beau took a seat at the table without being asked. “Come on, Caleb, sit down,” she said.

Caleb settled into the only chair that remained, one next to Molly. He tried to act as surprised yet casual as the others, but his heart leapt and danced in his chest and he couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances at Molly. Under the tablecloth, Molly’s tail found its favorite resting place around Caleb’s ankle. A traitorous blush crept into Caleb’s cheeks. He cleared his throat. If anyone asked he would blame it on the sting of the chilly late-autumn winds that were bringing warnings of the winter to come. “I take it you two um… also wanted to enjoy this lovely day?” he asked, addressing Jester but sneaking another peek at Molly out of the corner of his eye.

It was Molly who answered. “According to Jester, ever since I started focusing more on rehearsals and learning my lines, I’ve become ‘boring’ and was in dire need of even the smallest adventure out into the real world.”

Jester hummed and squeaked in protest through her massive mouthful of pastry. “I didn’t say _you_ were boring!” she exclaimed after swallowing. “I said doing nothing but rehearsing was boring! And, you know, you’ve been so busy with the play and… and stuff that I thought to myself, ‘Oh gosh, Molly _really_ needs to go out and do something else.’ So here we are! We’re getting pastries and going shopping!” She turned to grin and Beau and Caleb. “If you guys want to come shopping with us you’re welcome to do that too!”

If the parallels between what Beau had told him before they left and Jester’s reasons for getting Molly out of the Cabaret hadn’t confirmed Caleb’s suspicions that this was all planned in advance, he knew for absolute certain when Beau shrugged and said, “Yeah sure, we can do that.” Beau was not the type for shopping as a pastime. On the few occasions Caleb had gone out with her, either to purchase groceries or pick up more ink and paper for his typewriter, Beau had mapped out their route through the shops for maximum efficiency so they wouldn’t have to spend more time out than necessary. If anyone took longer than she expected to browse or select an item she would stand off to the side groaning until they moved along.

“I’m sure they had other things planned,” Molly said, smiling sociably. But Caleb knew that smile. He had seen it on the faces of dozens of other students and their mentors in politics, the smile that meant whatever they had said was just to be polite and they actually meant the complete opposite.

“No no!” Caleb interjected. “If anything I was um, looking for an excuse to get out today. I have uh… been working on transcribing all my handwritten poems into something I can send to publishers and to be honest I was yearning for a bit of fresh air.” He was yearning for time with Molly. Despite spending thirty-three years without him, a whole week had passed since Caleb dared to set foot near the Cabaret and each day had been another shard of broken glass in his heart. Sitting here at a perfectly normal café, having only met up with the Cabaret folk “coincidentally” so no one could accuse him and Molly of anything, all that glass scattered into glittering dust carried away on the wind and leaving Caleb with nothing but relief and gratitude to Beau and Jester for setting this up.

Beau went inside to order coffee for herself and Caleb. A moment later, Jester finished scarfing down the second-to-last pastry and excused herself to buy more. Molly picked the last one — an apple turnover — off the plate and offered it to Caleb. “The pastries here _are_ really good,” he said with a smile. “When Jester asked if I wanted to come here and have some I agreed right away. I’ve been… yearning for some fresh air myself, too.”

Caleb accepted the treat and took a bite. The glaze was sticky and sweet and reminded him of pastries they sold in a bakery in Rexxentrum, not too far from the Academy. Students used to go there after classes and the proprietor would offer them free samples from whichever baked good had been burnt or broken in the oven that day. Not all the memories from Caleb’s past were terrible, but he was glad to be making new ones that were even better. He smiled back at Molly. “Thank you, Mollymauk.”

Molly’s tail squeezed his ankle gently. “Even under our current circumstances, you can still call me Molly. After all, that’s what my friends call me, and we’ve spent enough time together to be friends, right?” He looked around. “No one could fault us for spending an afternoon together as friends, right?” The second question had a hint of concern in it. Caleb wanted to put his arm around Molly and assure him that everything was okay, and they would make it work, as they said they would.

Instead, Caleb crossed his ankles to hold Molly’s tail. “Of course not,” he said. “You are such a friendly person. You could make friends with a stranger in a tavern and take _them_ out for an afternoon of pastries and shopping and no one would think anything of it.” He nodded to the interior of the café, where Beau and Jester appeared to be deliberately dawdling. “And we did not come here alone. This was a… a happy accident.” He took another bite of pastry. “Who _wouldn’t_ want to come here on such a fine day and enjoy something sweet?”

Molly exhaled. His shoulders relaxed. He rubbed the tip of his tail against Caleb’s foot. “Who indeed?” His smile grew warmer. “I missed you,” he said quietly.

“I missed you too, my Starlight.” Caleb had watched out his window every night since they last saw each other, waiting to see his favorite star rise. A couple nights Molly had not appeared, and Caleb had worried perhaps he had given up on them, but he would return the next night, the little lantern light dancing and flickering in a desperate form of communication. Caleb would hold up his own lantern and wave it back and forth to respond that, yes, he was still there, and the apology was accepted.

There wasn’t much they could say out loud in public, even though the other café patrons were paying them no mind. So they looked into each other’s eyes and spoke that way.

Caleb furrowed his brow and sighed. _Molly I’m so sorry if I got you into trouble._

Molly smiled with a light tilt of his head. _Don’t be absurd, I never stay in trouble for long._

Caleb glanced away for a brief second, then lowered his head as he looked back at Molly through his lashes. _I still feel responsible. I was the one who asked to sneak away. I don’t regret that, but I wish circumstances were better._

Molly stroked Caleb’s foot with his tail again. His expression softened. _I don’t blame you for anything. I wanted that too. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t. I’m glad we got to do it at all._ He smiled and subtly took Caleb’s hand under the table. _I’m still proud of you._

Caleb smiled sadly. He brushed his thumb over Molly’s. _Thank you. I hope I can continue to make you proud._

Molly brushed Caleb back. _You’ll do fine._

“Who wants _doooughnuuuts?_ ” Jester called out cheerily.

Caleb slid his hand out from Molly’s. Molly reached to take it back, but withdrew as well. His tail remained firm around Caleb’s ankle, just as Caleb’s ankles remained crossed over Molly’s tail. “What— _ahem._ What kind of doughnuts?” Caleb asked.

Jester set the platter down in the center of the table. “We’ve got sooome… chocolate ones, we’ve gooot… ones with sprinkles, we’ve gooot…this cool twisty one here…”

“I’ll take that,” Molly said, snatching it off the plate.

Beau wrinkled her nose in shocked confusion at him. “What? Why?”

“Because you were too slow,” Molly replied. He grinned at her, lips curling to better show off his fangs. It wasn’t the frightening snarl Caleb had seen him do before, more of a teasing dare.

Jester plopped back down in her chair. “I _did_ get it with you in mind, Molly,” she said. “But you should share it with Caleb. I don’t know if he’s had one before.”

It was then that Caleb became aware that he was the oldest person at the table by several years, and therefore _should_ have had plenty more opportunities to eat all manner of doughnuts. However, considering he had lost a decade of his life in the asylum, it put him about even with the rest of the group. “I-I um, I have had similar ones, I think.” He gently rubbed his ankle along Molly’s tail. “If Molly does not wish to share, then… um…”

“Nonsense,” Molly interrupted. He held the two sides of the doughnut and pulled to unravel it. He offered one half to Caleb. “I’ve already eaten, and while I _do_ love these, I won’t deny Mister Caleb a chance to taste its goodness.”

Caleb smiled. “ _Danke_ , Mister Mollymauk.” It was a good doughnut, much softer than Caleb expected and it had a hint of cinnamon that grew more apparent the longer Caleb chewed.

Jester grinned at both of them, barely containing her glee. Caleb thought he could hear a faint whistling sound like a kettle starting to boil, but perhaps it was simply Jester squealing at a pitch too high for human ears. He cast his eyes down to the table and took a sip of the coffee Beau had brought him while he willed his cheeks not to be so red.

“So how are things at the Cabaret?” Beau asked. Her tone implied that they were getting off topic, though they had barely spoken at all so far.

“Gustav figured out a workaround for if Fjord passes out during the show,” Molly said, popping the last of his half of the twist doughnut into his mouth.

“Did he?” Caleb inquired.

“Mhm. If Fjord collapses while he’s on stage we’re going to say one of the dragon’s spies poisoned him and we need to get him to a doctor. If he passes out offstage we’ll say he’s testing out a potion of disguise to try to hide from the dragon and send Bo out in his place.”

Caleb cocked a curious eyebrow. “Bo as in Bosun? If Stone was trying to disguise himself, would it not make more sense to disguise himself as anything _but_ another half-orc?”

“That’s what I said!” Jester exclaimed. “Like, we don’t even have to have another guy stand in for Fjord. Maybe Stone decided to disguise himself as a girl because then the dragon _really_ wouldn’t recognize him.”

“I suggested we use Darrow, since they’re about the same height and I wouldn’t mind kissing him if I needed to for a scene,” Molly said. “But he already has a part and Bo doesn’t, even though he’s just a background character who could _easily_ be recast.”

Caleb hat met Darrow a few times during readings. He was certainly handsome and outgoing, and Molly got along with him well. Darrow didn’t live at the Cabaret like some of the performers. Molly had said he came and went as work became available, but he considered Darrow part of the Cabaret family in a sense, since he had been in so many of their shows. Caleb could clearly imagine Molly kissing Darrow on stage, or otherwise. His heart sank a little. Molly had so many better options for partners. One of these days he would tire of Caleb and move on to someone like Darrow. Caleb glanced down into the coffee cup in his hands glumly.

“Caleb?” There was a tug on Caleb’s leg. He hadn’t even realized he had uncrossed his ankles to let go of Molly’s tail, but it was still firmly wrapped around him. Molly leaned into Caleb’s field of vision, brows knitted in concern. “Are you alright?”

“Hm? Oh.” Caleb put on a smile. He hoped it didn’t look at fake as it felt. “Just uhm… thinking of how I would have handled the situation, that’s all.”

Molly frowned harder. “Does it bother you that Gustav is making changes to the script like this?”

Caleb shook his head. “He made it very clear that the Cabaret would handle the script from now on unless they really needed my help. But uh… I… I _do_ like the idea of a potion of disguise, however I… I think the concept would be best introduced early in the story, e-except that if Fjord passed out before that—”

Molly and Jester both knocked on the wood of the table in unison.

“—perhaps it would be best to have an alternate script? At least for the beginning. That way everyone will be prepared to shift the story around Stone’s absence if need be. And should anything happen before the show even begins, then the top of the show can be postponed until Fjord wakes up.”

Beau nodded. “Well, Gustav hasn’t banned _me_ from the Cabaret. Yet. I can bring that up with him if you want me to.” She shrugged. “I can also put in a good word for you and maybe convince him to let you visit for social reasons again.”

Caleb’s cheeks grew warm despite the nippy air. “Erm, thank you, Beauregard, but… I…” He sighed. “Given the circumstances, Gustav _does_ have a point about the um… the risks that my presence brings.” He glanced at Molly, who was still watching him with a crease of worry between his eyes. “Though I must admit I enjoyed my time there.”

Jester rolled her eyes. “It’s so _stupid_ ,” she groaned. “Like, just because you and Molly— _ow!_ ” She pouted at Beau, who shot her a pointed look. “…You and Molly um… did most of the work on the script already, that doesn’t mean you can’t keep coming to visit and helping out!”

Molly sighed. “Gustav has his reasons,” he said. He took one of the doughnuts with shavings of white chocolate sprinkled into strawberry frosting. He didn’t take a bite of it though. “Caleb _did_ do so much for us, and he’s grateful for that, but… _I_ at the least can’t keep helping with the script because I have… other responsibilities…”

Caleb crossed his ankles over Molly’s tail again. Gustav should never have put Molly in this situation. No amount of excuses or reasons would convince Caleb otherwise. Molly was a person, and people were allowed to change their minds. Once Molly realized he didn’t want to be in this contract he should have been able to negotiate himself out, but doing so might cost the Cabaret its funding because the Gentleman was a pompous and vindictive asshole. Caleb had even considered writing to Ikithon asking for money to help the Cabaret pay off Molly’s contract. He suspected Ikithon would burn any letters from him unread, however, and he didn’t want to deal with that man further anyway.

Eventually they steered the conversation to cheerier topics. The costume designs were coming along and Jester and Caduceus had gotten approval on most of their sketches for the sets. Gustav had liked the idea of firing a cannon of flower petals at the end of the show, just for an extra bit of spectacle. They would have to add a warning in the show’s program that there were things that might overwhelm the elderly or infirm, but that had excited him further because it would inspire more curiosity. While everyone talked, Molly and Caleb continued their intimate embrace of ankles and tail. Even though Caleb had a trickle of sweat running down his spine in fear that someone might notice, this small gesture of affection warmed his heart better than his coffee ever could.

The shopping that followed their time at the café went about as Caleb expected. Jester’s and Beau’s ideas of how much time was needed to select their purchases were vastly different. Jester liked admiring the craftwork of nearly everything she looked at, whereas Beau simply scanned the shop for something resembling what she wanted and taking it to the counter for purchasing. Beau didn’t seem to mind waiting for Jester, though, but she sighed and groaned at Molly and Caleb if they paused for more than a few seconds.

Molly’s way of shopping was far different from Caleb’s as well. Caleb knew what he needed and he would ask the shopkeep if they had that specific thing, but Molly would ask them, “What’s special today? What are you proud of? What’s the _weird_ thing you’ve been having trouble selling?” Some shopkeeps had to stare and think for a moment to understand how they should respond, but the ones Molly dealt with frequently often led him straight to their most unique wares for him to peruse. By the time they headed back to the Cabaret, Molly’s satchel contained such things as a frog-shaped incense holder, a remarkably gaudy hat pin, a lace bookmark, and a figurine of Erathis that hadn’t been painted properly so instead of stern her face appeared mopey. When Caleb asked what Molly intended to do with all of these, he merely replied, “Some are going to be gifts and some were just so I could give the shop a bit of money.” Beau grumbled about him wasting his coin, but Caleb found it endearing.

Jester invited Caleb and Beau to come inside with them and stay for dinner. Caleb could picture Gustav clearly, scowling as he had when he stood at the base of the Dragon’s stairs. Then there was the lingering chagrin Caleb felt about snapping at Gustav about Molly’s deal with the Gentleman.

“Er um… Th-Thank you, Jester, but I um… I…” Caleb couldn’t think of a good excuse not to stay, at least not a plausible one. The dinners at the Leaky Tap were decent, but a homecooked meal would certainly be better. If he was Jester’s guest instead of Molly’s then perhaps Gustav wouldn’t be so irate. He did have work to do, but nothing that couldn’t wait until tomorrow. And yet. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Mister Caleb,” Molly said with a charming smile. “I’m sorry if we’ve given you the wrong impression, but this is not a place where good ideas happen. Except for yours, but that was a fluke.”

“We could stay,” Beau said. “It’s just dinner, right?”

Caleb’s hands trembled. As much work as he and Molly had done to free him from the conditioning the asylum had forced on him, there was one thing jammed into Caleb’s mind they had neglected to correct: fear of defying an authority figure. “I-I-I am sorry,” he stammered. “I am-m tired and I would not— would not be good company.”

Molly’s smile faded. He tucked his tail around his legs. “I mean if that’s wha—”

“Not that I don’t think _you_ would be bad company!” Caleb blurted. “I s-simply do not wish to be a burden. Some other time, perhaps.”

“Yeah, totally,” Jester said. “Like maybe you could make something and we could make something and then—” She gasped. “We could have a _picnic!_ Oh my gosh I haven’t been on a picnic in _ages!_ The rest of the Mighty Nein is invited, too. Caduceus makes the _best_ food. Well, maybe not as good as Desmond, but it’s _really good._ ” She bounced on the balls of her feet, tail swishing side to side in excitement. “I even know this super cool place where we could have it just outside the city walls. There’s trees and like a lake, um, actually it’s more of a really big pond but it has a little beach and it's super cute and we could rehearse some of the forest scenes there because there will be actual trees for us to interact with!”

Caleb blinked a few times while his brain caught up with the rapid stream of words. “Um, I don’t see what purpose I would have at such a picnic…”

Jester huffed and rolled her eyes. “Because it is a _picnic_ and you are _invited_ and we’re _all_ going to _be there_.” She stared hard at Caleb, her mouth pressed into a thin line and her tail swishing in Molly’s direction.

“Oh. Oh I see! Yes, well, then I am honored to be invited. Um, thank you for erm… not leaving me out.”

Beau clapped Caleb on the shoulder. “Yeah, you are part of the Mighty Nein, after all. If we’re invited, you’re invited. It’ll be fun.” Turning to address Jester, she said, “I’ll talk to the others and see when they’re available. Fjord has his other job and I think Veth had plans to visit her family soon, but I’ll let you know.”

Jester beamed. “Great! Talk to you sooooon.” She took Molly by the arm and waggled her fingers in a farewell wave. “It was nice to see you today!”

Molly smiled, his eyes falling square on Caleb. “It really was,” he said warmly.

Caleb smiled back. “It was,” he echoed.

Even with his anxiety about lingering at the Cabaret too long, parting from Molly was still hard on Caleb. This picnic sounded better and better in his head the more he thought about it, however. They would be outside the city walls, almost guaranteed to be far from anyone who could report to Gustav or the Gentleman. And Caduceus was indeed a phenomenal cook. It would be interesting to see what he would make for a picnic.

“See? Was that so bad?” Beau asked about a block from the Cabaret. “I told you you needed to get out more.”

Caleb nodded. “Mmh, you were right.” He took a few steps in silence, then quietly said, “Beau?”

“Yeah?”

“…Thank you.”

Beau smiled. “Don't mention it.” Her expression suddenly became more serious. “No, like, really, don't mention it, because, y'know, stuff.”

Caleb chuckled. “Yes, I know, but this was good.” He sighed, letting some of the tension release from his shoulders. “I just wish I could do it more often…”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mighty Nein embark on a picnic with ulterior motives. Molly and Caleb find new reasons to love each other. Fjord "7 Wisdom" Tough and Caduceus "9 Intelligence" Clay find out what has been going on for the past few months. Beau continues to be Beau.

Molly contained his excitement for the upcoming picnic when he was in public, but whenever he got back to his room and remembered it was happening, his tail inevitably twirled around in happy loops and he would cover his mouth to keep from making too much noise about it. Once or twice he even took the photograph of him and Caleb out from under his mattress, set it on his vanity, and gazed adoringly at the image of Caleb while imagining what other scenarios he could potentially come up with to get him over to the Cabaret, or to get himself over to the Leaky Tap overnight again. There were several, but he would have to space them out in such a way that wouldn’t make Gustav or the Gentleman suspicious.

Caleb did come to rehearsals, alongside the others. Beau was there to oversee their little group, but Caduceus and Jester were up on stage together most of the time so they could put markers down where the sets might go. If Gustav ever shot a curious or cautioning glance in Caleb’s direction, Beau would turn to him and loudly ask, “Is this what you had in mind?” or “What are your thoughts on it, Caleb?” Molly still had some negative opinions about that woman but they were quickly being outweighed by the good she was doing, however bluntly or awkwardly she tried to do it.

It wasn’t the most gorgeous day when he and Jester and Yasha went to rent a wagon for the picnic. It was the first Miresen of Cuersaar and it had already snowed several times, leaving scattered heaps of sooty slush on the side of the streets where it hadn’t been trampled by feet or wheels. The sky tried to make itself visible through the haze of clouds, but even the bits of blue seemed more frigid than they had just a month prior. Everyone had to be bundled up in coats and capes, except Jester who didn’t get bothered by the cold much and simply wore a traveling cape to be fancy. Fortunately they had plenty of blankets to spread around so no one would have to sit directly on the cold ground and there was little wind that day to whip the chill into their clothing. And Molly wouldn’t have minded if they ventured out at night with no moon and a thick layer of iron clouds covering the sky. Caleb would be there, which meant the sun would be shining.

They picked up the Mighty Nein outside the Leaky Tap and Molly was glad he had paid the extra money for a larger wagon with two horses. He knew transporting eight people was going to be tricky enough, but thanks to Caduceus’s cooking they had two full baskets of food in addition to the basket of muffins and cookies Molly had baked with Jester the night before. Caleb had a package wrapped in brown paper and twine, which Beau explained was the bread and cheese she had gone out to purchase with him that morning.

“Good thinking, Mister Caleb,” Molly said. “We’ll need appetizers.”

Caleb blushed and tucked his face into the collar of his coat. “ _Ja_ , well, I did not wish to attend this picnic empty-handed. I thought it would be, uhm, rather rude of me, since I still don’t know what else I will be contributing.”

Beau massaged her temples. “Caleb, for the last time, you don’t have to _contribute_ anything to go on a picnic. We want you to come, you said yes, and that’s all you need to do.”

Despite Beau’s reassurance, Caleb still looked uncomfortable. Jester reached out to pat his arm. “Thank you for bringing it though,” she said with a bright smile. “I like bread!”

Caleb smiled weakly back. “I-I like bread, too.”

Molly itched to sweep Caleb up in his arms and tell him that the only gift he needed to bring was himself because nothing else could compare to that. Instead he added, “And I love a good bit of cheese. Let’s get going before all this marvelous food spoils, shall we?”

Jester was very insistent on arranging everyone in the wagon so they would all fit. Caduceus offered to drive, since he drove his family’s wagon into town all the time back north, so he sat up front. This was all well and fine, according to Jester, because part of her logic for who should sit where was based on how long their legs were, and Caduceus was so tall he would have had to squish himself in an uncomfortable position for the whole trip. However, this also meant that Molly and Caleb ended up sitting next to each other. Jester didn’t make any extra remarks about it, but she gave Molly a big wink before explaining where the others would sit.

The ride out of the city took about an hour. Once they were beyond the walls and out into the surrounding farmland, Molly boldly stretched up his arms then put them around Yasha’s and Caleb’s shoulders. Yasha didn’t even bat an eye, since this was normal for their friendship, but Caleb stiffened and glanced at him nervously. Molly smiled and continued the conversation he was having with Fjord and Beau about Darrow being officially chosen as Fjord’s understudy after Beau had somewhat flippantly pointed out the flaws in Gustav’s choice to use Bo.

Eventually Jester got bored and started a game of “I Spy” with Veth, who was sitting beside her. Molly looked around for the things they mentioned as well, or at least he pretended to. What he was really doing was watching Caleb, seeing whether he seemed comfortable with all of this. Caleb had neither moved closer nor farther from him during the ride. However, his blue eyes also glanced around whenever Jester or Veth called out something they had spotted.

Veth was stuck trying to figure out which “something with spots” Jester had spied. Caleb blurted out, “Is it the spots on the birch bark?” He immediately blushed as everyone’s attention turned to him. “I-I-I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I didn-n’t mean to butt in, I just— I wasn’t sssure if that’s what she meant by spots and I was curious and…” He dipped his head. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re right!” Jester said. “I _was_ thinking about the trees. And you can play if you want to.”

“From what I’ve witnessed, Mister Caleb is _quite_ observant,” Molly said. Caleb had certainly noticed things about Molly that Molly had thought no one else cared to see. He smiled at Caleb. “But do give the rest of us a fair chance before you go getting the correct answers for everything, alright?”

Caleb blushed even further. He returned Molly’s smile, but it was shaky and uncertain. “I-I can try.”

Molly nodded. “Then why don’t you tell us what _you_ spy? I’m rather curious now about what you’ll come up with.”

“Oh, um…” Caleb examined their surroundings. “I spy… something… metal.”

Jester and Veth both turned their heads wildly from side to side searching for a metal object. Molly nudged Caleb with his tail and grinned. “Is it the weather vane on that house over there?” He had seen Caleb’s eyes linger in that direction longer than the others.

Caleb nodded. His smile was more steady. “Correct, Mister Mollymauk. I see you have been keeping out of the game to give the others a fair chance as well.”

Molly shrugged. “I’m a lucky guesser.”

“Your turn to spy, Molly!” Jester said. Her tail tip swished back and forth in delight. Molly thought he could hear her purring as well. So long as she didn’t start comparing them to couples from her romance novels, hopefully her enthusiasm wouldn’t give them away.

By the time they got to the lake, nearly everyone had had a turn spying something. Caleb bit his tongue a few times when he spotted the thing first. Molly shifted to lean into him affectionately and gave him a smile when he put his weight into Molly as well.

It was, as Jester had said, not a very large lake. Were it a bit rounder, it could possibly fit into the Cabaret’s courtyard. It did have a pebbly beach and a copse of trees around it, and the ground on one side was flat enough to set up their baskets. The occasional breeze blew through to ripple the surface of the water and disturb the reflection of the sky and trees above it. Molly had come here with Jester a couple times over the years, almost always during the heat of summer when it was much busier. Today they were the only ones there except for a few songbirds and a solitary rabbit that turned tail and fled the moment they steered their wagon off the road.

Caduceus got the horses set up where they could have their own picnic of grass and shrubberies while the others laid out the food. There was a main course of vegetable pie and roasted potatoes coated in herb butter, which they reheated on a fire that Yasha expertly built from the dry brittle twigs off the trees. Fjord sliced up the bread and cheese for everyone to enjoy first. Molly hummed in delight as he ate and happily flicked his tail so Caleb would know his contribution was appreciated. It truly was; Molly had had a light breakfast and his stomach had been rumbling for the past ten minutes. A nice bit of bread and cheese was exactly what he needed.

The Mighty Nein had also brought along several bottles of ale, both alcoholic and ginger for those who preferred being sober. Jester and Caduceus partook of the ginger ale as they chatted about what parts of their current surroundings could inspire elements of the forest sets.

Molly had only had a few swallows of his ale, but he felt bold nonetheless. “Definitely include a tree sturdy enough for me to climb and do tricks on,” he said. He pointed as he got to his feet. “Like this one over here.”

But something held him back. “Molly, wait.” It was Caleb. Molly fell back on his butt. Caleb let go of Molly’s hand as suddenly as he had grabbed it and his face turned red again. “Y-You uhm… had that look on your fff-face like you were about to do s-something… foolish, and I-I didn’t want you to get hurt.” He cleared his throat. “It uh, heh, wouldn’t do us a favor if you injured yours-s-self right as rehearsals start, eh?”

Jester thumped her tail on the blanket. “You guys, we’re the only ones around, you know? Technically there’s no reason you two have to keep pretending while we’re out here.”

Fjord frowned. “Pretending what?”

“That they don’t love each other, duh!” Jester rolled her eyes and huffed. “It’s _stupid_ that you can’t even act like you’re friends when you’re at the Cabaret together. Go on! Do what you want to do, we don’t care.”

Molly smiled bashfully at Caleb. He opened his mouth to tell Caleb that she had a point, when Fjord interrupted, “Wait, that they _what?_ ”

“You mean you haven’t noticed?” Veth asked incredulously. “They’re always making eyes at each other when they do line reads at our room in the Leaky Tap.”

Caduceus waggled his ears in confusion. “Oh, does that mean they’re in love? I thought they were just really happy with how the script turned out after they spent all that time working on it together.”

Beau groaned in exasperation. “Okay, hands up if you already knew Caleb and Molly were into each other.”

Everyone but Fjord, Caduceus, and Caleb raised their hands, though in Caleb’s case it was because he was too busy blushing and looking somewhat mortified by people talking so openly about his relationship with Molly.

“Yeah, no, then it was just you two who didn’t know,” Beau said. “I’d say I’m surprised but… eh, I’m really not, actually.”

Molly had to admit to himself that getting up so quickly then being pulled back down had made him dizzy, and perhaps climbing a tree with the intent of swinging upside down right after eating and drinking wasn’t the best idea after all. He cautiously curled his tail around Caleb, not quite holding him but suggesting that he might if Caleb indicated it was alright. Caleb was still deep red and there was a glint of panic in his eyes. “Caleb?” Molly said quietly.

Caleb kept staring ahead, but he groped to his side for Molly’s tail, which he pulled gently into his lap as he fidgeted with the flat spade. Molly purred and tucked the length of his tail closer to Caleb.

“Okay, but seriously, _when did this happen?_ ” Fjord asked, flabergasted.

Beau rolled her eyes and groaned. “It’s been like, _three months!_ How did you _not_ notice?”

“Well we’ve all been a bit busy in those three months!” Fjord gestured to Molly and Caleb. “Some more than others, apparently! And doesn’t Molly have some kind of arrangement with the Gentleman?”

“ _Yes_ , which is why we’re keeping it _secret_ , dumbass.”

Fjord frowned. “But… But seriously, isn’t the agreement that Molly isn’t supposed to be… _with_ anyone else or the Cabaret loses funding? That’s what Bo said.”

Jester, Yasha, and Molly all looked at each other uneasily. “Which is why this is a _secret_ ,” Molly repeated. “I know it’s so bloody risky and stupid but…” He shrugged with a sheepish grin. “That’s how much I love Caleb.”

Caduceus smiled with his ears down but pointed forward. “Aw. That’s sweet. Well, don’t worry. I’m great at keeping secrets. Comes with uh… handling people’s funerals and such. Lotta secrets come out after people die. And so far I’ve kept all of them. I mean, well, most of them. Almost all of them. A few were uh… not the kind that should be kept. But this is. The kind that _should_ be kept, that is.”

Molly chuckled. “Thanks, Caduceus.”

Caleb squeezed Molly’s tail. Molly turned to check on him. He was looking back at Molly, more rosy than red now. His blue eyes shone like remnants of summer in the pale winter landscape and his smile was like the promise of sunrise. “I love you too,” he said softly.

The moment was only slightly ruined by Jester suddenly crying out, “Oh my _gods_ it’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever _seen!_ ” She pressed her knuckles to her mouth and purred between squeals of joy and adoration. Her tail swished around wildly in delight.

Fjord sighed and propped his cheek on his palm. “Alright then, I suppose if it’s… the real thing and all, then…” He shrugged. “You’ve been doing a good job of hiding, if I haven’t noticed anything for months. I promise no one else will hear about this from me.”

Beau patted him on the back. He let out a breathy “ _Oof!_ ” from the impact. She merely nodded at him in approval.

From then on the picnic was far more relaxed. Molly sat with his tail holding Caleb close, though not in a way that might remind Caleb of being restrained, and Caleb gradually leaned into him more and more until they were keeping each other propped up. The food was delicious. They all talked and told jokes and Jester even sang a song her mother had taught her, one about an admiral’s daughter who ran away from home and when her father took his fleet out to find her they were ambushed by the enemy and all their ships were destroyed, leading the daughter to swear vengeance. It was hauntingly beautiful, and since Molly and Yasha both knew the parts where Marion had accompaniment when she performed it they joined in at the appropriate times. It was the most enjoyable outing Molly had gone on in a long time.

Molly had to get up to piss sometime after they started dessert, and when he came back the mood had changed. The air felt more heavy yet electric, full of anticipation. Everyone was looking at him or Caleb. Molly curled his tail closer to himself. “Um… hi?”

Caleb got to his feet. “Molly, do you want to um… to take a walk with me?”

Jester waved to Molly gesturing that he should go, a giddy grin on her face. Yasha smiled and nodded. Veth drunkenly cooed in approval. Even Beau was smiling somewhat proudly at Caleb.

“Well, I don’t see how I could turn down such an invitation from one such as yourself, Mister Caleb,” Molly said with a polite sweeping bow. He looped his arm with Caleb’s. “Where to?”

“Oh, er um… ah…” Caleb smiled giddily and put his trembling hand on Molly’s arm. “There is a uhm… a tree that Jester said is uh… popular with… with couples…”

Molly nodded. “I think I know the one she’s talking about.” He gestured with his tail. “Let us be off on our walk, then.”

Caleb’s smile grew wider, but turned shy again as he looked out over all their friends watching them. “Ah um… _ja_ , let’s.”

The tree in question was on the other side of the lake, towards the top of a small slope further into the copse of trees. It was an old willow. The wispy hanging branches formed a curtain that wasn’t as thick now that only a scattering of leaves remained on them, but it offered a modicum of privacy. Furthermore, the bark of the trunk and some of the lower branches was worn smooth and covered in carvings left by couples who had come here for a private moment of their own in the past. Jester liked coming up with stories behind the initials and names. This one here met his true love at the market, these two had been friends since childhood, this name that had been crossed out got caught with the milkman, and so on. There was no way of knowing the truth, but Molly hadn’t understood why anyone felt the need to leave such a mark on a random tree where no one knew who these people even were.

Not until today.

They sat on the ground together. It was hard and cold and Molly wished they had brought a blanket. Caleb’s presence made it all tolerable though. Molly put his arm around Caleb and pulled him into a hug. Caleb gladly rested his head on Molly’s shoulder and held him in return.

Molly purred softly. “This is nice,” he said.

Caleb nodded. “It’s a relief the others are so understanding.”

“I’m relieved Fjord hadn’t figured it out,” Molly said. “It means the Gentleman probably hasn’t either.” He regretted saying the name as soon as the syllables formed in his mouth. He cupped Caleb’s cheek and kissed him. “But none of that matters right now, yeah? We’re together, there’s no one else around…” He checked to be sure no one had followed him. “Mhm, and even the people who _are_ around don’t mind if I do this.” He kissed Caleb again.

Caleb sighed and leaned back into Molly. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

Molly rested his cheek on the top of Caleb’s head. “I know, neither do I. But this isn’t so bad, right? At least we’re together.”

Caleb held Molly a little tighter. “Gustav wouldn’t approve.”

“Yeah, well, Gustav isn’t here. He can disapprove of whatever pleases him, it won’t change the fact that I love you and I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you.” Molly purred more soothingly. “Another thing he can’t do is come chip our initials off this tree.”

“.. _Was?_ ” Caleb lifted his head to look back at the tree trunk. “Did you put them on here?”

Molly chuckled. “No, but I’m about to.” He patted Caleb’s back then got up and searched around for an empty enough patch of bark. There was one about hip-height on the side facing away from the lake. He got down on his hands and knees and lined up one tip of his horn with the tree.

Caleb quickly stooped down to put his hands on Molly’s shoulder. “Wait! Isn’t that going to hurt you?”

“It shouldn’t,” Molly said. He tapped the metallic cap he had on the end of his horn. “Not exactly using the horn itself to carve it.”

“…Then why not take that off and use it like that?”

Molly paused, nibbling his lip in contemplation. He had thought carving their initials with his horn would be more romantic somehow. His tail swished back and forth. Caleb had a point… “Alright,” he said. “That… _is_ more sensible, I suppose.” He sat back on his ankles. “I got a little carried away,” he said with a soft chuckle.

Caleb smiled adoringly. “I appreciate you wanting to use your own body to put our initials in this tree, but I would be happy even if you carved them with a pointy rock.”

Molly smiled back at him. He leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “I’d rather it be more personal than that.” He removed his silver horn cap and dug the tip of it into the tree’s bark. It wasn’t the most even of surfaces, but if dozens of other couples had done this before them then he could manage. He chipped away some of the rougher ridges of bark to create a smoother canvas, then etched “M+C” into it with a little heart around the plus sign. His wrist hurt by the end from having to press so hard yet remain so delicate lest he accidentally dislodge some of the bark and ruin the letters. Caleb’s glowing expression made it all worth it though.

“I love it,” Caleb said, putting his arm around Molly’s waist. He kissed his horn. “And I love you.”

“I love you too,” Molly said. He gently butted the base of his horn to Caleb’s forehead. “Even if we can never tell anyone else, someday someone will come here and see these initials and know that our love existed. They won’t know it was us exactly, but… it’s something.”

Caleb nodded. “It’s perfect.” He pulled Molly into an embrace. For a few moments they just sat there under the tree holding each other. Molly purred with pride that his silly idea had made Caleb happy. Caleb hummed and kissed Molly’s neck. “Your purring is beautiful,” he murmured. He shifted a little in Molly’s arms. “And… And um…” He swallowed.

Molly leaned back enough to see if Caleb was distressed. Caleb’s face was turning redder by the second. “Are you alright?”

Caleb swallowed again and stammered, “I-I-I asked the others a-and uhm… they sssaid if we wanted we could… could go back to the Leaky Tap after this, so you ca-c-can be with me. In my room.” He glanced at Molly bashfully, then his eyes darted away again. “I-If you want.”

Molly grinned. “I want,” he said. He kissed Caleb’s forehead. “I want very much.”

“A-And…” Caleb grew even redder. He put his hand on Molly’s thigh. “I-I was thhhinking we c-c-could… uhm…”

Molly’s ears and tail perked. “We could what?”

Caleb gripped Molly’s leg a tad too hard, then relaxed nervously. “Y-You liked it when I-I erm… used mmm-my mouth…”

As adorable as Caleb’s bashfulness was, Molly couldn’t bear to watch him stumble through this any longer. He took Caleb’s hand in his. “Yes, Caleb, I would love to come back to the Leaky Tap with you so we can give each other oral pleasure.”

Caleb started to hyperventilate. Molly panicked until he heard faint laughter whenever Caleb exhaled. “ _Thank you_ ,” he panted. “I-I’m so sorry that I c-cannot, um… I have trouble…”

Molly took Caleb gently by the chin to tilt his head. “Caleb, dearest,” he said warmly. “I have plenty of experience reading body language when verbal communication gets difficult. I do my best, but if I ever get anything wrong feel free to call me out on it, alright? And there’s no need to apologize. I completely understand.” Not for the first time, Molly had a raw fiery urge to take his juggling swords and run them through everyone who had ever hurt Caleb, who made him so frightened of asking for anything that would make him feel good.

Caleb nodded. “ _Danke_.” He turned his head in Molly’s hand to nuzzle against his palm. “I… I think we have been away from the group long enough.”

“Have we?” Molly asked with a smile and a flick of his tail. “They wouldn’t mind another minute or two without our company, surely. They can run their lines or Jester can summarize whichever novel she’s currently reading for the others.” He leaned down to kiss Caleb softly. “Just another minute…”

They drank in the moment like mulled wine, warming them both to the core as they sat on that cold ground. The crisp smell of chilled trees and the nearby frosty lake somehow made Caleb’s scent all the more powerful. Molly breathed deep as they kissed. His heart was so full. He had thought it was full before with all the love he had for his family and his work, but Caleb had poured into all the cracks and little gaps and Molly’s heart had made space to hold even more of him because this feeling was a pleasure like none he could recall. Given the choice of a hedonistic afternoon of ale and drugs and hired companions or a quiet evening sleeping in Caleb’s bed with him, Molly would choose Caleb nine times out of ten, and in the last instance he would insist on bringing Caleb with him to make the hedonistic afternoon even more indulgent.

But they didn’t have such an afternoon today. There was food and drink and company waiting for them back at the picnic, yes, and Molly appreciated the solidarity of the group. He wouldn’t have trusted the Mighty Nein with even a simple errand only a few months ago. After working with them and seeing how much they cared for Caleb, he wouldn’t rather entrust their secret with anyone else. Regardless, it was difficult to give up the privacy of the willow and the intimacy of Caleb’s increasingly eager kisses to return to the group.

When they got back, Fjord and Veth were rehearsing one of their scenes together, one where Stone and the spirit of his sword are arguing about whether Stone is lying to himself about how deeply he cares for Lucien.

“This isn’t just about slaying a dragon anymore,” Veth was saying. “You still crave the glory, the satisfaction of saving the day, but you know in your heart there’s something else.”

Fjord postured himself to be casually aloof, but a little too much so. In the odd accent he had chosen for his character he replied, “Y’know you’re right. Now it’s about freeing all the critters that dragon has under its thrall.”

Molly and Caleb quietly took their place on the picnic blankets to watch. Jester grinned at them knowingly and winked. Molly rolled his eyes and flicked his tail to tell her that it hadn’t been as steamy as she probably assumed.

Veth put her hands on her hips and leaned in with that maternal expectant stare. “Stooone…”

Fjord squirmed. “Yeah, alright! Fine! Don’t give me that look. I want to free Lucien too. I want him to be safe. I want him to be happy.”

“…With you?”

“…With me.” Fjord slumped to sit on the ground and put his head in his hands. “I never figured I’d be the type to want to rescue a damsel in distress.”

Veth chuckled. “Lucien isn’t much of a damsel, but he certainly is your type.” There was a pause, then Veth wrinkled her nose in a pout. “But… you… um…” She sighed. “Line!”

Caleb spoke up, “Whether you slay the dragon for the sake of the town or for a single person, it’s still a noble deed.”

“Thank you!” Veth said. “Whether you slay the dragon for the sake of the town or for one person, it’s still a noble deed. And if you save his home then Lucien will surely be more than grateful.”

“Not if he isn’t there to see his loved ones safe again.”

Veth crossed her arms. “Well then, you’ll have to bring him home to see it.” She waggled her shoulders and tilted her head in a smile. “And of course you’ll have to tell him the truth about how you feel.”

Fjord turned his head bashfully. “When the time is right,” he said after a beat of pause.

“I’ll make sure you know when that is,” Veth said.

Fjord chuckled. Molly liked the way he laughed with this accent. “I know you will.”

Everyone applauded. The next scene was Lucien in the dragon’s lair searching around for something that could help him weaken or fool the dragon, and when it came home from hunting he had to pretend he was preparing a bit of entertainment for it and pouted about how it ruined the surprise. There were elements of that first night Molly and Caleb had met in that scene, like Lucien explaining the mess he had made by claiming he had been so excited for the dragon’s return he hadn’t had time to tidy up. Molly tucked his tail around Caleb. If only there were some knight out there who could come and slay the Gentleman for them both.

They ran through another scene, one where Lucien and Stone meet up to plot against the dragon and they get caught by a snake — normally played by Yuli but this time played by Beau — that they team up to kill before it can report back to the dragon. Molly played the part of Lucien first, then let Jester practice the scene as his understudy. Beau seemed much more cooperative during the bit where Jester nimbly dodged the imagined set pieces so she could pounce on her and hold her down for Fjord to “kill” with a stick he had in place of his sword. When Molly had done it she had squirmed and kicked him off her as soon as she decided he didn’t need to hold her anymore, but for Jester she played dead and remained limp in her arms. Molly rolled his eyes. If Beau was going to court with Jester now that Yasha had been largely indifferent to her pursuits, Molly would have to step in and have a chat with one or both of them.

By the time they finished Jester’s turn with the scene, the western sky had early hues of pink and orange. They packed everything up so they could get back to Zadash before dark. Beau not-so-subtly invited Yasha and Jester and Molly to the Leaky Tap for dinner and drinks.

“I wouldn’t want to impose on the staff,” Molly said. “Or on Caduceus, since he already provided us with such a fabulous meal.”

“Then _I’ll_ fucking cook for you, if that makes you happy,” Beau said.

Molly widened his eyes and stared at her. “ _You_ can cook? This I have to see.”

“I think you’d be okay at cooking,” Jester said. “Maybe not _great_ , but that’s what you have Caduceus for!”

“That and the tea,” Caleb added. He smiled, but there was a shadow of nervousness in his expression, as though he didn’t know if he had spoken out of turn.

“Oh gods, yes, of course the tea,” Molly said. He wanted Caleb to feel welcome in this bantering conversation. “And you also happen to be wonderful company, Mister Clay.”

Caduceus smiled and swished his ears. “Thank you, Mister Tealeaf,” he said.

In the wagon, Molly and Caleb held hands until they got to a more busy section of the road. Molly purred softly under his breath as he rubbed his thumb over the back of Caleb’s hand and felt Caleb doing the same to him. It was a shame to have to let go, but they never knew who could be associated with the Gentleman and would report back to him. They couldn’t exactly go around chopping people’s heads off like Lucien and Stone did to the snake.

They piled out at the Leaky Tap, everyone carrying something to take back upstairs, and Caduceus and Jester went off to return the wagon. Molly felt like a champagne bottle about to pop. His tail wriggled and twitched in excitement, though once he realized it was doing that he held it in a more composed posture, still moving a little as though he was merely impatient to get to drinking. But Caleb’s room was just upstairs. It was far from a resplendent room, but it was Caleb’s, and they could be alone there. It was like being taken to where the sun rises every day in order to see all the colors of it up close. It was the performance of a lifetime to not seem eager to bound up those stairs, toss his armful of blankets into the Mighty Nein’s room, then leap down through the hole in the ceiling straight into bed with Caleb.

Absolutely no one batted an eye when Molly and Caleb excused themselves to his room. Veth said the rest of them would be downstairs having drinks and waiting for the others to come back, but her tone suggested that they could and should have as much fun as they wanted without anyone upstairs to hear them. Molly still wasn’t sure if he liked her or not, especially considering one of his first experiences with her was watching her drunkenly flirt with Blude then attempt to steal from the bar’s tips before coming to ask if they were hiring actors. She seemed decent enough, albeit a bit nosy regarding other people’s sex lives. In this moment Molly was too thrilled to be with Caleb in a comfortable private space to contemplate his opinions on her. He didn’t hop through the ceiling. He just followed everyone down the stairs and slipped away into Caleb’s room with him once they were sure no one was watching.

Caleb locked the door behind them. To Molly’s surprise, he turned and rushed into his arms. He clutched Molly tight, head rested on Molly’s shoulder. Molly held him in return and patted his back.

“Are you alright?” Molly asked.

Caleb nodded. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I am uhm… I do not take back the suggestion I made earlier, but I… I am nervous.”

Molly smiled. He purred soothingly. “You’ll be alright.” He kissed the side of Caleb’s head. “We can take it slow, like we always do. What would you like to do first?”

There was a somewhat long pause. Caleb’s grip tightened and relaxed a few times before he said, “I would like to lie down with you. Clothed, for now.”

“Okay.” Molly kissed him again. “We can do that.” He took Caleb’s hand and led him to bed. They kicked off their shoes, shed their outmost layers of clothing, then cuddled up in each other’s arms. Molly had forgotten just how tough Caleb’s mattress was compared to his own. It wasn’t as hard or cold as the ground beneath the willow tree. Even if they had simply spread out a blanket back at the lake and done this there, it wouldn’t have mattered if the ground beneath them was full of rough stones. Caleb’s embrace was exactly where Molly wanted to be.

Caleb gradually relaxed. He snuggled closer to Molly, pressing himself full-body against him. Molly purred softly and gave him little kisses on the forehead as he stroked Caleb’s hair. Caleb absentmindedly rubbed Molly’s back in return. A blissful short while later, he murmured, “Molly?”

“Hm?”

“I… I love you.”

Molly chuckled with a trilling purr. “I love you too.”

Caleb rubbed Molly’s back a little harder. “I uhm… There were times in the… in the asylum where I doubted I would ever love anyone like this. They… Heh. They did a pretty good job of convincing me that all of my desires, innocent or otherwise, were completely abhorrent and I should only focus on doing my duty to the Empire, marrying a nice girl and having children and raising them to be good and not think the way I…do. B-But love isn’t necessary for that life, and I feared that to fit in I could never follow my heart. It was one of the reasons I um… eventually… uhm…” He clenched his fist. Molly could almost feel the scars on Caleb’s wrists pressing into him through his shirt.

Plenty of Molly’s customers had been stuck in the kind of life Caleb described; they had married out of societal obligation and they weren’t attracted to their spouses and they wanted something other than the stress of maintaining their public face or raising their freeloading children. Molly hadn’t cared why they came to him, he just took their money and gave them the evening of reprieve they were looking for. He was glad Caleb didn’t have to suffer through that frustration though. There was one thing he had wondered before but never considered it worth bringing up. “Do… you… _want_ children?” he asked.

There was a pause long enough to make Molly regret asking. Then Caleb said quietly, “I don’t know how much of my desire for children is my own and what is… what they made me believe.”

“…So is that a yes?”

Caleb shrugged. “I think it would be nice to at least open my home to a child who was in my position, one who has lost everything and has nowhere else to go.”

Molly’s heart fluttered. He held Caleb with tighter affection. “If we ever have a home together, I’d like that too.” He chuckled. “I can’t exactly give you any of your own.”

Caleb chuckled as well, weakly but genuinely. “I don’t think I’m in a good place to raise my own right now, nor are you, with the show and… everything.”

“No, definitely not.” Molly nuzzled his cheek to the top of Caleb’s head. “But I think if you ever decided it was time to care for a child you’d be very good at it.”

“…Thank you.”

Molly kissed Caleb’s forehead again. “And as for the asylum and everything they told you, fuck them. Fuck them and their lies and their manipulation and their bloody outdated expectations.” He scritched the back of Caleb’s head. “You don’t owe the Empire anything. If anything they owe _you_ plenty.”

Caleb hummed quietly. “I don’t want anything from them,” he said. “I just want… to be me. The me I could have been if… I… hadn’t been sent away.”

“That’s a noble aspiration,” Molly said. He pulled back to cup Caleb’s cheek and look him in the eye. “I never thought I’d love anyone the way I love you either. I thought that kind of romance was just made up for Jester’s books, the way that there aren’t _actually_ a dozen or so disguised princes or princesses roaming the countryside at any given time hoping to take their kingdoms back.” He bit his lip in a snicker. It wasn’t really the time to be laughing, but the thought was too funny and he couldn’t stop.

“What is it?” Caleb asked.

Molly took a deep breath to compose himself. “Just thinking about how you and Jester both technically learned about love from reading smutty books.” He chuckled. “I know, you were in a relationship before, but nearly everything you know about having sex with men is stuff you learned from people who were trying to make you repulsed by it.”

Caleb smiled, though there was a flash of pain in his eyes that cut straight to Molly’s heart. “Yes is it uh… ironic, to say the least.”

Molly kissed the little crease between Caleb’s eyes, then pressed their foreheads together. “I’ve told you before, but I still thoroughly believe this; the reason they couldn’t change you is the same reason you can’t catch a thunderstorm in a bottle. There’s simply too much and it’s too powerful.” He put his hand over Caleb’s heart. “You have so much love to give. I wouldn’t be surprised or hurt if you had to take a second or third lover just so it doesn’t all go to waste.” He said it with a joking tone, but Molly did worry that he wasn’t enough for Caleb. As vast as his sexual experiences were compared to most, his worldly experiences were confined to the tiny patch of the continent that sat within view of Zadash’s walls. He didn’t even have memories of being loved by his birth family. How could he possibly give Caleb everything he needed?

“Never,” Caleb insisted. He took Molly’s hand in his. “I don’t need anyone else to love but you.” His smile strengthened. “You are quite a handful, Mister Mollymauk. But you are also patient and kind and… and you are everything I ever wanted and more. Why would I need to take other lovers when perfection is right here in front of me?”

That was the other way Molly felt inadequate around Caleb; Caleb had such a way with words, the sort of charisma Molly pretended to have but could never truly sustain for longer than a brief bout of foreplay before his clients were too busy to care whether he even spoke Common. He feared Caleb would never truly know how much he loved and appreciated him if he could never find the right words to tell him. All he had were his physical charms, and they weren’t exactly honed for gentle intimacy like this. All he could do was smile and purr and kiss Caleb to show him that he was grateful for his flattery.

Then, as Molly was getting comfortable just lying here softly kissing his beloved, Caleb’s hand inched shyly under his shirt. Molly purred at the warmth of Caleb’s skin on his own. He draped his tail in loops over their entangled legs. “Mhh…”

Caleb’s touch grew bolder as his hand crept higher. Molly inhaled sharply in surprise and arousal when before he knew it Caleb flicked his thumb over his nipple. Caleb kissed Molly more passionately, then pulled back and looked him in the eyes, pupils wide and vivid as a new moon in an evening sky. “Molly,” he said breathlessly. “I’m ready.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly and Caleb enjoy whatever secret moments they can have together, including a not-so-secret "surprise" birthday party and a spontaneous vacation.

Molly finished loosely braiding Caleb’s hair. Caleb reached back and ran his hand along it, feeling Molly’s craftwork. It felt nice. He would have to get up to look in his mirror to see it and he wasn’t ready to leave the bed yet. Instead, he leaned back against Molly’s chest. “How do I look?” he asked.

“Gorgeous,” Molly said. And he really seemed to mean it. His red eyes gleamed with adoration and his smile could be nothing but genuine in the way it warmed Caleb down to the core of his being.

Caleb blushed from the compliment. “Thank you. You are quite good at what you do.”

Molly purred. He brushed his thumb over Caleb’s cheek. “So are you,” he said.

Caleb’s blush burned hotter. “ _Ja_ , well, uhm… I know I am…most likely not the best you have ever been with but…b-but I try.”

“And that’s why you _are_ the best I’ve ever been with,” Molly said. His tail coiled tighter around Caleb’s arm in an embrace. “Because you try, and not for selfish reasons. Yes, previous…people have tried to please me the best they can, but that’s only so they can brag that they gave the Diamond Devil the best night of his life.” Molly smiled. “They’re all wrong. The best night of my life was when I met you, and all the nights I spent with you after that only got better and better.”

A bit of the shining sensation Caleb had felt during his climax returned, radiating out from his heart. He smiled warmly. “I feel the same way.”

Molly kissed Caleb’s forehead. “We really do need to do this again sometime. Maybe not… _everything_ , but we at least need to have some time alone.”

Caleb nodded. He snuggled up to Molly’s chest to better feel him purring. “I am sure that, with rehearsals becoming more intense, the star of the show will require time to rest. No other obligations. The play comes first.” He bit his lip. “B-But should the writer come to offer notes on his performance…”

“Then the star would gladly welcome him in and have a _very_ lengthy conversation with him.” Molly grinned. “After all, we _are_ supposed to be bringing your vision to life. I respect and value your feedback above all else.”

That was something Caleb hadn’t quite gotten used to yet, people actually listening to him. He had spent enough time with Molly that the shock of hearing it from him wore off after a few weeks, but at rehearsals when Beau encouraged him to speak up everyone actually listened and did what he said too.

They lay in bed a while longer, simply catching up on all the cuddles they had missed since Gustav made it clear Caleb was not welcome at the Cabaret for anything other than play-related business. Then Molly stretched his legs and tail. “Maybe we should freshen up before we head downstairs?”

Caleb clung to Molly gently. “That might be wise. Then um… Then if anyone sees us coming downstairs together I can tell them I was showing you where the bathroom was.”

“Good idea,” Molly said. “Though I don’t think anyone would pry too hard. I mean, if you just walked into a tavern and saw two people together would you go up and interrogate them on what they’ve been up to?”

“N-No, I suppose not.” In the asylum, it was always good to have an alibi, a reason for being in whatever room you were and doing whatever you were doing. At any moment, someone could come in and accuse you of doing something forbidden — or, as they called it, “counterproductive to your recovery” — then they would punish you however they saw fit unless you could prove you had done nothing wrong. The situation wasn’t exactly the same, and in some ways it was worse now. If the Gentleman suspected Molly was breaking the exclusivity clause of his contract, it wouldn’t just be Molly or Caleb that would be punished; the entire Cabaret would lose its funding and be thrust into horrific debt.

Caleb checked himself in the mirror when he finally got up to put some clothes back on. The braid looked odd at first, but the more he examined his reflection the more he liked it.

Molly came up from behind him and put his arms around him. “I know, I get caught up admiring your beauty, too.”

Caleb watched himself turn red. “I um… I…” He chuckled nervously. “It looks good. The braid. You did a good job.”

“My pleasure,” Molly said. He nuzzled his horn lightly against the back of Caleb’s head. “You look good with your hair tied up. Shows off more of your face.”

“ _D-Danke._ ” Caleb crossed his arms over Molly’s. “I am…glad that you like my face.”

Molly grinned. Something about his fangs made his smiles seem even bigger, more pleased. “I like more than just your face, love. One might even say I love you from head to toe and everywhere in between.”

Caleb immediately turned the compliment over and over in his head, trying to craft a poem around it. He blinked. There would be time for that later. He smiled and patted Molly’s arm. “And I love you from head to toe to _tail_ and everywhere in between.”

Molly purred and kissed the back of Caleb’s head. “Glad we have that established. But before we go out in public I should cover at least _some_ part of my head-to-toe-to-tail.” He embraced Caleb a heartbeat longer, then untangled himself and turned to retrieve his clothes from the floor.

Something caught Caleb’s eye and made his stomach tighten. “Molly, what is that on your back?”

“Hm?” Molly stood up and craned his neck to look at the reflection of his back in the mirror. Beside the dimple of his ass, over where the rear curve of his pelvic bone would be, there was a mark about the size of a gold piece, circular in the middle but tapered out on opposite sides. It almost resembled an eye. “Oh. Might be a bruise?” He twisted to try to look at it better. “I think…maybe it was from when I got up too suddenly because I wanted to climb a tree? Then I kinda sat down just as suddenly and…yeah. Musta been that.”

“It is…oddly shaped, for a bruise.” Caleb crouched to examine it. He ran his fingers over it delicately. “Does it hurt?”

Molly shrugged. “Clearly not or I would have complained about it by now. Haven’t you ever woken up with bruises you don’t remember getting?”

Caleb could recall waking up with bruises he remembered getting all too well. _Herr Ermundrud you must hold still. We are not trying to hurt you but you will hurt yourself if you keep struggling._ And Caleb would go limp in their rough uncaring hands the moment one of them called for the needle. Some of the other patients came to rely on the numbing concoction, but Caleb didn’t want to be numb. He just wanted to be happy. And now he was. He traced the shape of the bruise. “Hm, well, this one is quite striking.”

“Yeah, I think it goes well with my tattoo.” Molly lifted the wispy curls that tumbled down the nape of his neck to reveal the All-Seeing Eye symbol inked into his skin. “Maybe I should draw a triangle around that one too.”

“Perhaps _after_ you have washed up,” Caleb said. He stood up to kiss the eye on Molly’s neck. His heart fluttered at the sound of Molly’s soft sigh. He kissed him again so he could hear another. “You are a delight for the senses, my Starlight.”

Molly curled his tail around Caleb’s waist. “Oh am I?” he asked with intrigue in his voice.

“Mmh, wonderful to behold, to hear…” Caleb put his hands on Molly’s waist. “…to feel…” He kissed Molly’s shoulder, slowly and sensually. “…to taste…”

Molly purred, further proving Caleb right about how lovely it was to listen to him. His tail stroked the small of Caleb’s back. “Such a charmer,” he said. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were trying to entice me back into bed with you so we’d never leave this room.”

Caleb chuckled softly. “I would never do such a thing.” He brushed his fingers over Molly’s shoulder. “Unless you asked it of me, of course.”

“Tempting. Very tempting.” Molly turned to smile at Caleb. “But we do have friends downstairs who are probably gossiping about us, though if they are I hope they’re being subtle about it.”

“Oh.” Fear knotted in Caleb’s belly. “ _Ja,_ either way we should go put a stop to it.”

Molly nodded. “But first, to the washroom.”

They got fully dressed and walked casually but quickly down the hall to the guests’ washroom. It was unoccupied, to Caleb’s relief. On one side of the room was a simple toilet and sink and on the other was closed-off shower stall. The room smelled of mildew inadequately covered up by the bunches of dried flowers that hung in front of the frosted window.

Molly shivered and flicked his tail. “No bathtub?”

Caleb shook his head. “No, not in this one. There’s a private room that you can pay to use, but this is the public one.”

“Makes sense.” Molly frowned at the sparse set-up regardless. He shrugged. “So long as the water is clean enough, I suppose it doesn’t matter.” He changed his mind, however, once he turned on the tap in the sink and found that the water didn’t get much hotter than an hour-old cup of tea. “Caleb, how do you live like this?” Molly asked, rubbing his hands together vigorously to try to keep them warm as he washed them. He pulled a face before he splashed a bit around his mouth and cheeks to rinse them. He shuddered. “Don’t tell me the showers are this cold too?”

“I… I don’t mind it much,” Caleb said. The baths at the asylum had all been ice cold. It was supposed to be invigorating and cleansing for the mind as well as the body. He had preferred to stink for weeks on end until they forced him to bathe rather than go through that on a more frequent basis.

“Well now I know what excuse you can use to come over to the Cabaret. You can tell them how awful your shower is here, or better yet tell them it’s broken, so you _need_ to use ours. We have hot water _and_ a tub. You can have a proper soak.” Molly shivered again and rinsed out his mouth. “Fuck me, it’s like sucking on snow…”

Caleb smiled. “I appreciate the offer. Gustav will likely—”

“Don’t you worry about Gustav,” Molly interrupted. “He acts as our ‘ringleader’ but Desmond has just as much of a say in what happens in that building as Gustav, and I know for a fact that Desmond likes you.”

“…He does?”

“I mean, he hasn’t _said_ it to me, but he has complimented your work and he remarked that it was nice of you to include me in the creative process so much.” Molly turned the tap off and quickly wiped the water off his face. “The point is that Gustav has the authority to kick you out, but Desmond has the authority to tell you that you can stay.”

Caleb shuffled his feet. “I do not want to cause trouble between the two of them.”

Molly rolled his eyes. “Trust me, they find things to squabble over anyway. Now come here, my hands and face are bloody cold and I need to stand in the sunlight.”

It took Caleb half a moment to understand what Molly meant. He smiled and walked over to wrap his arms around Molly. “Better?”

Molly purred. He tucked his arms between him and Caleb and nuzzled his face into Caleb’s shoulder. “Much better, thank you. Did you want a turn?”

Caleb nodded. “In a moment. I need to keep you warm.”

“Thank you.” Molly pressed their foreheads together. “I really wish you could come stay with me at the Cabaret. I’d draw you a hot bath every night. You could even bring your typewriter and keep working while you got clean.”

“We could always burn down the Leaky Tap,” Caleb suggested. “Then I would have no other place to stay.” He was joking. Mostly.

Molly stared at him in bewilderment for a second, then burst out laughing. The sound of it echoed off the walls of the small room. “That’s _one_ way to do it, sure. We’d just have to make sure everyone got out first.”

“Oh of course. And I wouldn’t have to burn down the whole building, just my room.”

“Knocked over a candle when you fell asleep at your desk?”

“Something like that, _ja_.” Caleb shook his head. “Forget it. We will find a um, less destructive excuse for me to come over.”

Molly nodded. “Like I said, Jester has about a dozen romance novel-inspired schemes. We can go ask her about them.”

Caleb took his turn at the sink. He was used to how cold the water was but he shivered as well. Molly gave him warm kisses on both cheeks once he had dried them. They took advantage of their privacy to embrace a little longer. Anxiety prickled the back of Caleb’s neck thinking about what their friends might be saying downstairs, but Molly’s presence was intoxicating and he didn’t know if he could ever have his fill. He rubbed his hands up and down Molly’s back, exploring and memorizing his shape so he could think about it later when they were parted.

When they got downstairs, rather than gossiping, the rest of the Mighty Nein were listening to Caduceus telling them a story that involved his siblings finding the corpse of a Kenku in the woods near their home. Two seats had been left open at their table, which was actually two tables pushed together. When Molly sat down Yasha handed a tankard of something over to him.

“Here you go, Caleb,” Nott said. “I got you some beer.” She stood up on her chair to reach over and put the smaller mug in front of Caleb. She sat back down and addressed Caduceus, “So your siblings gave the Kenku a burial? That was nice of them.”

“Yeah, well, it’s kinda the family business. They weren’t sure what rites to say over it, which is always the tricky bit of burying a stranger.”

Beau frowned. “Do you guys find dead people in the woods by your cemetery often?”

Caduceus shrugged. “People die in the woods. Doesn’t happen often, but it happens.”

“I’m sure if they had any idea what was going on with their body, they’d be very grateful,” Molly said, taking a big sip.

“Do you not believe in an afterlife, Mollymauk?” Caduceus asked.

“No, I do, but as much as I like this body, if I were dead I’d move on to the next thing and not really mind if or how I was buried…”

That led to an odd conversation about what everyone wanted to happen to them after they died. Caleb wasn’t a fan of the topic. He had spent too many months contemplating his own death and how it could be an escape from everything if he couldn’t find another way out. He did mention that he wished to be buried in Blumenthal beside his parents and grandparents and other family members. From what he had overheard at the asylum, anyone who died there and wasn’t claimed by their family was just discarded, so he was glad to at least have the option now.

All too soon, the members of the Cabaret declared that it was their time to head home. Caleb was a decent way into his cups and it was only his reflexive silence around others that kept him from calling out to Molly as they left and telling him he loved him. The words withered on his tongue and left a sour feeling in his stomach. He laid his head on his arms and toyed with a drop of condensation on the table.

“Do you need to go to bed, Caleb?” Nott asked.

“Mmh…” Caleb pushed himself up. He felt heavy and sick all of a sudden. “I… I think I do.”

Beau got him to his feet with his arm slung around her shoulders. “Don’t do this to me,” she said as she tried to get him to walk straight. “I’m not super sober either and if you drag us back down the stairs I’m gonna be pissed.”

Caleb put one foot in front of the other. For motivation he told himself that Molly had snuck back around the building and climbed onto Caleb’s balcony the way Caleb had climbed the Dragon that first night. Deep down he knew it was a lie, but delusions like that had kept him going in the asylum as well, first about the life he would have with Astrid when he got out and then about the traveling he might do and the lovers he might meet. Even so, he was disappointed when Beau opened the door to his room and it was empty, save for the stuffed cat Molly had won for him, which was seated by his typewriter on his desk.

Beau saw him eyeing the cat with longing, so after she laid him out in bed she took the toy and placed it in his arms. “A’right, g’night,” she said. “And don’t worry, rehearsal’s t’morrow, you’ll see him then.”

Caleb clutched the soft cat tight. “Thank you, Beauregard. Good night.”

The door shut behind her, and Caleb fell asleep all too aware of how empty his room was.

* * *

Aside from rehearsals, Jester did, indeed, have many ideas for how to get Molly and Caleb together in secret. Some were more plausible than others, although she kept insisting that dressing Caleb up as Orrna’s sister and pretending “she” was staying at the Cabaret for a few weeks was a foolproof plan.

The one that was the most fun and yielded the best results was Caleb’s surprise birthday party. Molly had cleared it with Caleb beforehand, and Caleb’s actual birthday had passed on his way down to Zadash, but it was an excuse to get everyone over to the Cabaret to have a good time. Caleb even managed to look more than halfway surprised when Veth led him out to the courtyard and he first saw the decorations Jester had set up. Fortunately, to anyone who might be watching, Caleb simply had the reaction of someone who had overheard the secret party plans and was acting surprised to be polite.

And since it was Caleb supposed birthday, Molly felt comfortable giving him a big kiss on the cheek when he first arrived, followed by a hug that had to be too brief so Molly squeezed him extra tight. “Surprise!” he exclaimed. “Happy birthday, Mister Caleb!”

Caleb smiled in awe at the banner Jester had made, the fancy centerpieces on the tables, the bar loaded with pastries and drinks and a sumptuous-looking cake — chocolate with whipped cream and strawberries, as Caleb had requested after a bit of back and forth with Molly telling him that of course they were going to get him a cake, don’t be silly, it’s no trouble at all, and what’s a birthday party without a cake? — and the small pile of gifts they had amassed on one table.

“I… I do not know what to say.” Caleb smiled shyly, but with genuine delight in his eyes. “Thank you.”

Jester bounced up to him and took him by the hand. “Look! They even arranged the strawberries on top to spell your name!”

Molly flicked his tail at her. They had talked about how Caleb didn’t like to be grabbed suddenly, since she had a habit of doing it to everyone and thus did so to Caleb without thinking far too often. He followed behind as she more gently led him over to the spread of delicious treats they had procured for the event. Half the people who had come to this surprise party were here because of the promise of free food. The Mighty Nein had come over, of course, to celebrate with their friend, but the moment pleasantries were over, Beau went to the bar and started fixing drinks for people, and Veth was first in line.

Even if absolutely no one in the Myriad found out about this party, it was still worth it to see Caleb gradually grow comfortable with the attention everyone was giving him. Molly tried to think of some poetic way to express it. His thoughts took on Caleb’s voice as he remembered Yasha telling him about a flower she had encountered on her journeys, one that closed its petals at night but when the sun came out it spread them wide to bask in the light and warmth. Though his imagined poem wasn’t nearly as good as anything Caleb could really come up with, Molly still heard it clearly.

“ _The sun lights you face and you start to bloom,_

_And my heart can’t help but blossom too._

_You are lovely and precious and rare,_

_With beauty that I wish you would share._

_I want them to see what I see in you_

_So everyone else can fall in love with you too._ ”

The Dragon was right there. If Molly wanted, he could take Caleb up there and tell him that poem, see if he liked it. Perhaps later. If he vanished with Caleb now, they’d be gone for an hour, at least. Other than rehearsals, it had been almost two weeks since Molly and Caleb had been in the same room together. The play was coming along well. The only hindrance was that, in addition to preparing for the play itself, they were still outfitting the newly renovated theatre. That meant certain things had to be on hold until lights were installed or set pieces were built. And it meant that they couldn’t put on regular shows to earn money, so Molly had to see the Gentleman more frequently to earn more financial support.

Molly blinked and rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t going to think of the Gentleman today. It was Caleb’s birthday. Fake or not, that was the most important thing. And Caleb was about to open some presents. Molly took a seat nearby, but not too close, and waited with a swiftly thumping heart for Caleb to open the one he bought for him.

It seemed as though Caleb could tell which was Molly’s and had decided to save it for last, because every time he reached towards the neatly wrapped package he would move his hand at the last second to grab one nearby instead. Molly swished his tail impatiently. Everyone else’s gifts were fine — a stack of paper from Beau, a new scarf from Desmond, a box of candied oranges from Jester, and so on — but Molly knew that Caleb would like what he had gotten for him. At least, he hoped Caleb would. He was struck by a sudden pang of doubt and silently begged Caleb to hurry.

When Caleb finally picked up his gift Molly actually gasped quietly in excitement. He bit his lip. His tail tip quivered and curled as Caleb read the tag. “‘To Mister Caleb, from your Star.’” Caleb smiled at Molly. “Thank you, Mister Mollymauk. I am sure it is something…quite fabulous.”

Molly winked. “Oh, it’s something alright.”

Caleb appeared a little shocked when he opened the box to reveal a simple pair of slippers. Yes, they had a bit of nice floral embroidery around the toes, but otherwise they were just soft and warm. Caleb picked one up and ran his hand over the midnight-blue plush material.

“It’s getting colder,” Molly said. “And the Leaky Tap seems to have leaky windows as well. Figured you would need something to keep your feet warm while you work. Or if you need to run to the restroom in the middle of the night and don’t want to walk on the cold hardwood…barefoot.” He hadn’t forgotten what Caleb had told him about the asylum, about how he still wore shoes whenever he could and thick socks when he couldn’t just because the feeling of the floor under his bare feet took him back to that place. These slippers had a nice firm sole but were cushioned on the inside. The shopkeeper had assured him they were the most comfortable slippers available in all of Zadash, “As though you’re walking on clouds instead of the ground.”

Everyone admired the gift. Caleb merely stared at them. His hands absentmindedly explored their shape and texture. Finally he looked up to Molly with a bright smile. “They are very lovely, Mollymauk. Thank you.”

“You are quite welcome,” Molly said with a nodding bow. “Happy birthday, dear writer.” It’s a risk, but Molly couldn’t contain himself. He stepped forward to run his hand over Caleb’s hair. The few wispy strands that danced in the breeze fluttered up again. “May they keep you warm and comfortable on those nights when you spring out of bed to write up your latest brilliant composition.”

Caleb’s smile struck Molly right through the heart. “I am sure they will. I will think of you whenever I wear them.”

The party continued a while longer. Everyone ate and drank their fill. Many wandered off as soon as they got what they came for. Eventually only the Mighty Nein, Jester, Yasha, and Molly were left in the courtyard. Molly helped Caleb steer the conversations away from his personal life for the past decade, and instead got a few of the others to discuss their more memorable birthday parties. Of course Jester had several stories to tell because Marion had pampered her on every birthday she ever had. Molly received similar treatment, but he chose not to brag about it.

Eventually Veth said, “I want to hear from _today’s_ birthday boy. Caleb, you haven’t said much. Are you alright? Do you want to go back to the Leaky Tap?”

Caleb looked up from the string on his cuff he’d been tugging at and blinked. “Hm? Oh. Well… I erm… It’s just that…when you said we were coming to the Cabaret I w-was uhm…planning on speaking to Mister Mollymauk about a new project I um…hoped he could work on with me…”

Jester leaned in and asked in a loud whisper, “Are you just saying that so you can be alone together or do you really have a new project?”

Caleb glanced nervously at Molly, then at the doors to the courtyard. He swallowed. “Yes.”

Molly scanned the area as well. Satisfied that there weren’t any agents of the Gentleman peering at them from behind a door or over the high walls, he took Caleb’s hand. Caleb twitched at first, but relaxed with a deep exhale. “I’d be happy to discuss this new project of yours,” Molly said. He smiled. “I understand your desire to meet with me in private first. The rest of this lot doesn’t quite have my tact or gift for providing constructive feedback. I wouldn’t want them saying the wrong thing and accidentally quashing your creative spark.”

“Hey, I’m _very_ good at listening!” Jester exclaimed.

Beau elbowed her. “Then you’d know what they’re _actually_ talking about.”

Jester opened her mouth to protest, then her eyes grew wide and her tail flicked. “Oh! Right. Um… Okay okay okay, _fine._ ” She pouted and wriggled her nose. “We’ll be out here in case anyone comes looking for you.”

“And we’ll tell them we have no idea where you are,” Veth added.

Beau began to explain why that _wasn’t_ what they should say, but Molly was already leading Caleb to the Dragon. His heart was as light as the bubbles in a glass of champagne and tingled just as much. Two weeks without a kiss from Caleb had felt like a year. And yet once the door was locked they merely embraced each other like they had never been parted.

“I missed you terribly,” Molly murmured in Caleb’s ear.

“I missed you too, _Liebling_ ,” Caleb said. He nuzzled Molly’s shoulder. “Thank you so much for my slippers.”

Molly chuckled. “You’re welcome. I hope they help.”

Caleb pulled back to smile warmly at Molly. “I am certain they will.” He caressed Molly’s hair. “You are so very thoughtful. And wonderful. I love you.”

“And I love you, my Sunshine.” It felt so good to be able to say that to Caleb again. Molly recited words of love to his “Sunshine” during rehearsals all the time, but it was always Fjord’s face in front of him. He couldn’t even glance in Caleb’s direction if the Gentleman was in the audience that night. Fortunately, the Gentleman didn’t come to every rehearsal, but when he did he expected Molly’s attention afterward. Neither of them had to worry about that now. They were alone. “So, what’s this incredible new project of yours?”

“Well…” Caleb reached into his chest pocket to pull out a small notebook. “I’ve um… I’ve started putting together an anthology of my work, and…” He bit his lip. “I…have you to thank for it.”

Molly beamed. His tail curled happily. “So you’re going to publish a book? That’s _fabulous_ , darling!”

Caleb blushed. “I erm… I think I will see if I can publish anything in a literary magazine first.” He flipped open the notebook. “I’ve made a list of all the ones printed in Zadash. These ones here that are underlined regularly publish submitted poems, but these ones here, in this column, have writers on staff and…I’d like to apply.”

“I say do it.” Molly kissed Caleb’s cheek. “The Cabaret will give you a glowing recommendation.”

Caleb smiled and kissed Molly back. “I was going to ask about that too, _ja_.” He fidgeted with the notebook. It appeared that he had filled almost half the pages in it.

“Do you have some of your poems written down?” Molly asked.

“Nearly all of them. I’ve been typing up copies of— Oh! You mean in here?” Caleb turned back to the start of the notebook. Based on the format of the scribbles on the page, Molly guessed it was some sort of poem, at least. “Yes, I write them down in here if I am not near my typewriter when inspiration strikes.” His smile turned sheepish. “And if I’m not…otherwise occupied…”

Molly grinned. “Will you read some to me?”

Caleb stretched. “Oh, I would love to, but I am so weary from all that excitement at the party, I wish I could lie down…”

“Of course, you poor dear.” Molly took Caleb up to the bed. “Here you go, have a rest. It’s your birthday after all. You get to do whatever you’d like.”

“…Even if I would like to request a kiss from the famous Diamond Devil?”

Molly hopped onto the bed beside Caleb and grinned. “Hmm, I don’t know. A kiss that grand usually costs quite a bit.” He licked his lower lip then bit it impishly. “But it _is_ your birthday…”

Caleb laughed. “Except it isn’t.”

“Well who said a person can _only_ receive gifts on their birthday? That doesn’t seem fair. What if someone finds the perfect gift for their friend just a week after their birthday. Do they have to wait a whole year to give it to them?” Molly wrapped his tail around Caleb’s waist and used the leverage to scoot closer. “And kisses are the sort of gift that are given entirely at the whim of the giver.”

“That is true,” Caleb said. His eyes were on Molly’s lips. “Even if someone asks for a kiss, it’s up to the other person to give it. Otherwise the kiss is stolen, not given.”

Molly winked. “Would you consider yourself a thief, Mister Caleb?”

“Well, I did steal someone’s heart once.” Caleb moved an inch closer to Molly. “They were supposed to give it to someone else, but I got there first.”

“What a scoundrel. Then perhaps you _are_ the type to steal a kiss.”

“Mm.” Caleb leaned in a little. Molly missed seeing him in this much detail. If it weren’t for the delightful banter they were creating together, he would have already pounced on Caleb with a thousand kisses. “I think I have caused my beloved enough trouble already. I shouldn’t steal more than they are willing to give.”

Molly reached out to cup Caleb’s cheek. “Except your beloved would happily give you everything…” Then he kissed him. His tail twisted with joy. He could breathe again. He had his sweet Caleb here, and all was well with the world.

Caleb guided Molly onto his back. They both remained clothed, save for the shoes that they kicked off to the side. Molly purred at Caleb’s weight pinning him to the bed as they continued their kiss. They spoke softly about how they had missed each other. The heartache and stress of the past few weeks melted in their shared warmth. Molly savored every second. There was no telling when they’d get another chance like this. Could be tomorrow, or in a week, or not until opening night in a couple months. Once they had all the renovations and refurnishing completed, Gustav was going to finalize the dates so they could put up advertisements. As fun as these secret rendezvouses were, Molly was ready to pay off the Cabaret’s debts so he could be free to tear up his contract and take a vacation somewhere with Caleb.

“If you could go anywhere in the world with me, right now, where would you go?” Molly asked.

“Anywhere at all? Hmm…” Caleb caressed Molly’s cheek as he pondered. Molly got lost gazing into his eyes; he hoped he could traverse into their depths far enough to see what Caleb was thinking, but there was too much beauty distracting him. Then Caleb smiled and everything became more beautiful. “You said you’ve never been out of Zadash, _ja?_ ”

Molly remained lost for a moment before he blinked back to reality. “Hm? Oh, yeah, I mean, I’ve been outside the walls, of course, but I’ve never been somewhere you couldn’t travel to then come back within the same day.”

Caleb nodded. “Then I think we should go to the other side of the world.” His smile widened. “Then you could say that you’ve only been in Zadash and as far from Zadash as possible. Nowhere in between.”

Molly laughed. His tail stroked the outside of Caleb’s thigh. “So we would burrow through Exandria to get there? Or would we lie here and wish really hard until _poof_ , there we are on the other side of the world?”

“Mmm, we could do that,” Caleb said. He closed his eyes and nestled into Molly’s embrace with his head on Molly’s chest. “Let’s go there together now.”

Molly purred in amusement, but he closed his eyes nonetheless. “I’m not even sure what is exactly opposite of Zadash.”

Caleb hummed pensively. “I think…it is either in the Ozmet Sea or…” He chuckled softly. “Or it is in the southeastern forests of Issylra, where the play takes place.”

Molly grinned. “We can go there together then. We’ll visit the place that inspired the setting, and you didn’t even know it.” He took Caleb’s hand and held it to where their chests met. “Where would you like to go first? The dragon’s cave, the little village, or the clearing where Lucien and Stone meet in secret?”

“Well, first, before we set out, might I say that I truly missed hearing you purr like this?”

“You might,” Molly replied. He purred harder. “Just as I’ve missed having you here to listen to it.”

Caleb squeezed Molly’s hand gently. “Then…let’s start in the village. It’s not quite the way it is in the play, you know.”

“Oh it’s not?”

“Nn-mm. In the middle of the main square there’s a statue honoring the valiant tieflings who fought to protect it during the old wars. And when we get there everyone is so happy to see you. We get the best room at the inn and our first dinner is free.”

Molly peeked at Caleb out of one eye. As far as he could see, Caleb’s eyes were still closed, but there was a broad warm smile on his face. Molly kissed the top of his head and shut his eyes again. “They’d treat you well too,” he said. “Because in their village, those who are beloved by tieflings are considered extremely lucky, and legend says that if a person who has captured the heart of a tiefling kisses their lover at the threshold of a building, that building will be blessed as long as the couple stays together.”

Caleb chuckled. “Then we’ll have to kiss in everyone’s doorways. Wouldn’t want to be stingy with our blessings, would we?”

“Oh of course not. And if any shop seems like they need an extra boost, we’ll come back and kiss there again, just in case.”

They continued making up strange facts about their vacation spot. There was a shop that sold nothing but taxidermy mice dressed in petticoats. The tavern was famous for its rutabaga pies. There’s a boulder a mile outside of town that’s supposedly haunted by the spirit of a prankster who tried to jump out into the road and spook the horses of an oncoming carriage and got trampled instead. The dragon’s cave could be one of several in the area, but most likely the one by the bigger bend in the river because it has the coziest moss. The clearing has tall grass and travelers have to be careful not to step on any snakes. The snakes aren’t dangerous, it’s just to be polite. Molly got to pet one before it slithered off. They found a tree with roots perfect for sitting on and Caleb recited some of his new poems for Molly. Molly tried to remember the one he had come up with before, but it was awkward and clunky compared to Caleb’s elegant poems.

“I love it anyway,” Caleb said when Molly voiced his concerns. “No one has ever written a poem for me before.” He paused. “Well, unless you count the little rhymes my parents would come up with to help me remember my chores.”

“I think that counts,” Molly said. He stroked Caleb’s back. “This is a lovely vacation. We should do this more often.”

Caleb snuggled into Molly’s chest. “Mmh, I couldn’t agree more. It’s so much warmer here than back in Zadash.”

“We’ll go somewhere even warmer next time. We can go to Marquet. We’ll find an oasis for water then build a huge sand castle in the desert.”

Caleb laughed. “If we build it strong enough we can make it a home away from home.” He sighed. “But I think one vacation is enough for today. It’s getting late.”

Molly purred sadly. “Not _too_ late,” he said. “Rehearsal isn’t for another couple hours. You could stay here until then.”

“…I…suppose I could.” Caleb sat up a little. Molly opened his eyes to watch him in case he was trying to leave the bed. He was smiling down on him instead. “It is only one afternoon. If you have…other visitors, someone can come warn you. Y-You could say you were in here um…listening to music. And I can climb out the back and hide on the Dragon’s head until it’s safe.”

Molly tucked his tail around Caleb’s waist. “My visitor often brings at least one bodyguard. They might see you. I’d get you out another way.” He didn’t know what way, but hopefully it wouldn’t come to that. “Would _you_ like to listen to some music? Maybe…we could dance a little? It’s been so long since we danced.”

Caleb took Molly’s hand in his to kiss it. “I would love to dance with you, my Starlight.”

They put on one of Molly’s favorites. It was mostly soft flutes and oboes with underlying strings, perfect for dancing. Caleb had taught Molly some of the dances he learned in school. While Molly hadn’t memorized them perfectly yet, he was good on his feet and could at least avoid stepping on Caleb’s toes or tripping him. At that moment he was so happy he felt like a cloud, drifting along in Caleb’s lead, so he doubted he could harm Caleb at all. He was so in love. And he and Caleb were going to be together for the rest of the day. It was perfect.

“Molly?” Caleb said as the song started to wind down.

“Yes darling?”

Caleb grinned. “This is the best birthday I never had.”

Molly laughed and kissed him. “I’m happy to hear that.” He stroked Caleb’s back with his tail. “Is there anything else I could do to make it even better?”

Caleb’s grin became a shy smile. “Well erm…” He nibbled his lip. “There was an invitation once…to um…t-to use your bath…”

“There was indeed,” Molly said. His fingers and toes and tail tip tingled with excitement. “And if that is what you would like on this most special of days, I’m sure I can arrange that…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...those of you who have been following along up to when this was posted, y'all might notice a certain warning tag has been added. I didn't want to include it before this because so far the story has been pretty light, but from here on out it's going to be more and more obvious that something is wrong. If you've seen _Moulin Rouge_ and you know what happened in the infamous Episode 26, you can already guess what's coming. If you were unaware of either spoilers, I do apologize, and I warn you that things are gonna get...heavy. And sad.
> 
> Bring tissues.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a nosebleed. 
> 
> ...Right?

Everyone else was still enjoying drinks and the remnants of cake in the courtyard when Caleb and Molly emerged from the Dragon. Caleb once again admired the banner Jester had put up. It read “Happiest Birthday Caleb!” in bold red letters and she had painted little smiling cat faces all around it. He had friends. It was almost a stranger notion than having a cabaret performer and courtesan as a lover. Astrid and Eodwulf had celebrated many birthdays with him, most notably the one after his parents died when he had no one else. Neither of them had put as much thought and enthusiasm into it as this, and this wasn’t even his real birthday. Caleb smiled and helped himself to another cookie from one of the trays at the bar.

“Back so soon?” Nott asked. “We thought you were going to be in there for…y’know, a while.”

“We _were_ in there for a while,” Caleb said. He took a bite of his cookie. “I thought you would have left by now.”

Beau snorted. “With all this food and booze? Nah, pretty sure I live here now.”

Jester gasped in delight. “ _Beau do you want to have a sleepover?_ ”

The question took Beau off guard. “Oh. Um. I guess I could, if you’re inviting me.”

“You can come too, Veth,” Jester added. “And Yasha can come, and maybe the twins would want to join in. We can have _sooo_ much fun together!”

“We’ll see how rehearsal goes tonight,” Yasha said. “But yeah, I think a sleepover sounds…pretty cool.”

Molly grabbed another small slice of cake. “Speaking of inviting people over, I’ve invited Caleb to take a birthday bath in our tub. I’ve experienced the water at the Leaky Tap and I don’t know _how_ you all can tolerate that.”

“I boil up some water and take a sponge bath,” Caduceus said. “But I must admit, sometimes a cold shower is just what I need to wake me up for the day.”

“Yeah, no, the shower at the Leaky Tap sucks,” Beau said. “I pay for the bath when I can. Probably gonna do it more as the weather gets colder.”

“Well I’m offering Mister Caleb our bath for free since it’s his birthday,” Molly said. He added through a mouthful of cake, “He might end up staying here until rehearsal.”

Everyone except Fjord and Caduceus nodded in understanding, but when Caduceus saw the others nodding he joined in too. As if it weren’t strange enough having so many friends, all of them were willing to lie for him, protect him, let him do things that made him happy. Caleb struggled to accept that he deserved all of this. He told himself that his doubts were the lingering voices of Ikithon and the asylum staff. He heard them less and less as time went on. On lonely nights when he wondered if he and Molly could ever really be together, they whispered that this was all a lie and Molly was relieved to be away from him. But Molly’s smile spoke only of true love as he took Caleb’s hand and led him back into the living quarters of the Cabaret.

Caleb was astounded by the size of the tub. The one at the Leaky Tap was barely large enough for him to sit in with his knees under the water, and it was made of splotchy tarnished copper. This was a gleaming enamel tub with an adjustable headrest on one side and a showerhead elegantly arched above it. It wasn’t completely immaculate, but it was the most beautiful bathtub Caleb had ever seen.

“Well we needed one big enough for Bo or Blude to fit in,” Molly said when Caleb remarked on it. “And it’s easier for the twins and Toya to fill it partway than it is for someone larger to squeeze into a medium-sized tub.”

“Even so, it’s incredible! It’s so big you could fit two people in there!”

Molly grinned. “I know.”

Caleb realized what he had just said and his chest filled with butterflies. “A-Are you um… Would y-you like to…”

“Join you?” Molly took Caleb’s hand. “Why, Mister Caleb, what a scandalous request.” His tail swished in a way Caleb now recognized to mean that Molly was pleased. “I’d love to.”

Caleb breathed a sigh of relief. Molly knew him so well. Someday he would be able to say what he felt without fear, but until then his words often got caught on his anxiety and he couldn’t find his voice. “Thank you,” he said. “I would feel so small and alone in a tub this magnificent.”

Molly kissed Caleb’s cheek. “I would never let you be alone like that on your birthday. Or any day. Now for the most important question…” He walked over to a small cabinet against the wall and opened one door. “Which scent of bubble bath would you prefer?”

There was an impressive collection of soaps. Some of them were reserved for specific members of the Cabaret, but half a dozen bottles were for anyone’s use. Caleb smelled them all and finally decided on one that reminded him of playing with his childhood friends in the pine forest near Blumenthal. Molly got the hot water running and poured some of the soap in. Within a moment the water had churned up rolling hills of bubbles that drifted across its surface.

Molly sniffled. “Pardon me,” he said, taking a handkerchief from his pocket. He blew his nose, dabbed at it, then tucked the handkerchief away. “Being out in the chill then inhaling that steam made my nose a little runny. Wouldn’t want to be kissing you and then it gets all messy.”

Caleb thought back to the first time he sucked Molly off. His eyes and nose had run terribly, which was never mentioned in any of the material he read at the asylum. Of course, if it had, perhaps it wouldn’t have been so arousing and he would have resisted the temptation more easily. But he had felt so self-conscious for what a mess he had been afterward, and Molly had just smiled and held him and then it had been his turn and…

“I wouldn’t mind,” Caleb blurted. “Th-There are worse things than a snotty kiss.”

“Most certainly,” Molly said. “I’d still rather not put you through that if I can help it.” He began unbuttoning his shirt and smiled. “I know the water at the Leaky Tap is so cold you probably have to shower in a thick coat, but I assure you _this_ water is best experienced with your bare skin.”

Caleb already felt warm. He stared at Molly, who shrugged out of his shirt with practiced fluidity, exposing his tattoos. Caleb hastily shed his own clothing. Molly took him into his arms as soon as they were both naked. Caleb kissed and caressed the extensive artwork on Molly’s arm. “Gods, I missed you…”

Molly purred with a light chuckle. Caleb loved the way Molly’s purring laughter sounded. “I can tell. I missed you too.” He kissed the top of Caleb’s head. “You’re as beautiful as ever, darling.”

“So are you.” Not wanting to leave Molly’s unadorned arm feeling left out, Caleb switched over to kiss him from shoulder to wrist. He paused. “Oh. You have another one of those bruises…” He gingerly placed his hand on Molly’s elbow to hold his arm where he could better examine the odd mark. It was smaller than the one he had seen before, but it had that distinct tapering on the sides.

“That one’s from the other day when I bumped into the new set piece while we were blocking,” Molly said. “Remember? The shelf in the mayor’s house? Took my turn too quickly and wasn’t used to it being there. Even when I hit it I knew there was going to be a bruise.”

Caleb gently kissed it. “I remember. Bryce tried to stop the scene and start over but you insisted on continuing where you left off.”

Molly shrugged. “Well I’m not going to let a little bump interrupt me. I’m a professional. I could fall off the stage and still find a way to incorporate it into the show.” He patted Caleb’s hand. “I’m going to be more careful, I promise. Speaking of being careful though, I think the tub might be overfilled at this point.”

It wasn’t, since filling the tub to its entirety would require draining a small sea, but it was full enough to get into. The water was hot in a way that chased all the lingering cold from Caleb’s body without scalding him. He dug out a valley in the mountains of bubbles so he would be able to sit opposite Molly and still be able to see him.

“What are you doing over there?” Molly asked, smiling. He gestured with one foamy arm. “Come here, I was going to wash your hair for you.”

Caleb grew even warmer. “O-Oh, I— Sorry.” He shifted over to sit in Molly’s lap. It had been so long since he went swimming, and in a tub this large he was indeed able to float for a short time. He wouldn’t be able to lay out flat in it, but he didn’t need to. It was wide enough to allow him to settle between Molly’s legs comfortably, so he did.

Molly embraced him from behind, purring. “There, that’s better, isn’t it?”

“Mmm, very much so, _ja_.” Caleb leaned his head back until it rested on the curve of Molly’s horn. “I can’t remember the last time I had a hot relaxing bath.”

“Someday I’ll have to take you to Steam’s Respite.” Molly sniffled again. “We’ll get a private room and we’ll soak in their most lavish bath until we’ve shriveled up into prunes.”

Caleb laughed. “Somehow I doubt your skin could ever be anything but flawlessly smooth.”

“Which is a testament to how long we would be in that bath,” Molly said. He scooped up a handful of water and poured it down the back of Caleb’s head.

It felt nice. The little bubbles that clung to Caleb’s hair popped with tiny sounds like mice walking on snow. He thought of another poem to add to the growing collection. Nearly all of them were about Molly. Caleb had almost told Molly that, and how he was going to dedicate the anthology to him, but he wanted it to be a surprise. He wanted to hand Molly the finished book, have him turn the page, and see his name along with a little message about how much Caleb loved him and couldn’t have done this without him. Much like their initials on the tree by the lake, it would be a piece of their love that would live on without them. Hopefully, by the time it was published, the Cabaret’s debts would be paid off enough for Molly to get out of his part of the contract.

They didn’t say much to each other while Molly washed Caleb’s hair. Molly occasionally asked if he was tugging Caleb’s hair too hard or if he was getting soap in Caleb’s eyes, but otherwise they simply enjoyed the bliss of the bath. Caleb stroked Molly’s tail and nuzzled the tip when Molly curled his tail up across Caleb’s chest to lay the tip on Caleb’s shoulder. Molly purred blissfully, interrupted by a sniffle here or there.

Until suddenly Molly was flailing backward. “Oh gods!” he exclaimed. “Oh _fuck_ , shit shit bloody hells damn it…”

Caleb leapt to the other side of the tub. “What? What is it?” He looked around frantically. There was no one else in the room as far as he could tell. The curtain that Molly had drawn to section the tub off from the rest of the washroom was still in place, and Caleb hadn’t heard the door open or close. Molly’s hand was clapped over his mouth. No, his nose. “ _Molly, are you okay?_ ”

“Fine, I think…” Molly’s voice sounded odd from having his nose pinched shut. He tilted his head back and groped with his other hand for the edge of the tub. “I need my kerchief.” Before Caleb could stop him, Molly climbed out of the tub. Caleb got out after him, and it was a good thing he did. Molly slipped or stumbled or something and nearly crashed into the wall where they had hung up their clothes. Caleb caught him just in time. Molly groaned and slumped to the floor. His hand came away from his nose. Blood trickled down over his lips and chin.

“ _Molly!_ ” Caleb sat down so he could let Molly droop into his lap. “What’s wrong?” he asked, frantic. “ _Liebling,_ tell me what’s wrong!”

Molly wrinkled his nose, sending another tiny wave of blood oozing out of one nostril. He held up his hand to examine the blood on his fingertips with bleary fascination. “So that’s what I’ve been sniffling up this whole time.”

Caleb relaxed precisely two muscles in his shoulders and the rest of him remained tense. “A-Are you alright? Should I get Gustav o-o-or someone?”

“Nah.” Molly sniffled again. “Just need to clean myself up.” He heaved himself into a sitting position, though he didn’t reject Caleb’s protective touch. “How bad is it?”

“Bad,” Caleb said. “There’s a lot of blood and um…I don’t know if it’s stopping?”

Molly tapped at his nose. “I think sniffling was the wrong choice. It all backed up until there was too much.” He pinched his nose shut again and panted through his mouth. “Just have to let it drain, preferably _not_ in our nice relaxing bath.”

Caleb took Molly’s handkerchief from his coat. There were a few specks of blood on it already. “Is it okay if I…?”

“Oh, I don’t mind. I’ve got a box of them.” Molly experimentally unplugged his nose and wriggled it. “How much more is there?”

“I-I-I don’t know. Let mm-me check.” Caleb carefully wiped away the blood on Molly’s face. A bit more welled around the rim of Molly’s nostril, but it didn’t appear to be flowing freely anymore. “I think the worst is over.”

Molly scratched his stomach. After a second or two the spot turned a deeper shade of purple. “Thank you, love. Now we can finish our bath.” He wobbled up onto his feet.

Caleb stood immediately to steady him. “I-If the steam is agitating your nose th-then perhaps we should end it here.”

Molly pouted sadly. “But…what about your birthday bath?”

Caleb shook his head and smiled weakly. “It isn’t even really my birthday. And weren’t you the one who said gifts and special treatment shouldn’t be exclusive to one day a year?” He held Molly’s hand. Molly was trembling slightly. “We can have a bath another time. Right now what I want most is to lie in bed with you.” And he suspected that was what Molly _needed_ the most.

Molly swished his tail back and forth. He sniffled again, then winced, but no further blood came out of his nose. “Alright, if that’s what you want…”

“It is,” Caleb insisted. “But uhm…I do think we should rinse the soap off first.” He scratched his arm. “It’s beginning to itch.”

“Yeah,” Molly agreed as he scratched himself again. “I’ll drain the tub and we can rinse off under the shower together.”

Caleb felt sick with worry. This wasn’t the first nosebleed he had ever seen. One of the other patients at the asylum had them frequently, especially during the winter. The staff had him wear a bib so he would stop staining his clothes, because he also never did anything to stop it. He was convinced he was already dead and that he wasn’t bleeding, it was just part of his decomposition. What had Caleb concerned was Molly’s dizziness. At the asylum, when people stumbled like that, it was often because they were deficient in something, whether it was food or water or sleep. Molly was so in tune with catering to his own needs. What could he possibly be missing?

The water from the showerhead was just as nice as the water in the tub had been. Molly washed his face but was gentle around his nose. He wasn’t in a rush, and Caleb also would have liked to spend an hour luxuriating under the hot shower, except the knot of angst in his chest tightened with each passing second.

“I’m going to be fine, Caleb,” Molly said. “You don’t have to scrub yourself that quickly.” He grinned. “Or are you worried the hot water is going to run out on you?”

Caleb chuckled unconvincingly. “F-Force of habit, I suppose.” He wiped the water from his face. “And looking forward to being in bed with you, of course.”

Molly purred. “Ah, I see. Then here, let me help you…” He combed his fingers through Caleb’s hair while Caleb stood directly under the water. Caleb did the same for him. There was comfort in such a casual yet intimate touch. The knot in Caleb’s chest lessened, but he knew it would go back to choking him the moment anything seemed off about Molly. Ignoring the problem wouldn’t make it go away, whatever it was. He had to get Molly safely to bed where he could lie down and not hurt himself.

It was cold in the hallway, at least compared to the steamy bathroom. When they had first come in from the courtyard, Caleb had welcomed the warmth. Now he shivered and quickened his steps towards Molly’s room. He couldn’t even take Molly’s arm or hand in his and savor the tiefling’s natural heat. Molly walked with nonchalant determination as well. Caleb wondered if Molly was worried too or was merely eager for more cuddles.

What Caleb should have wondered about, however, was where Gustav and Desmond were. He found out when the two of them rounded a corner and came face-to-face with him and Molly in the corridor only a few doors down from Molly’s room. Gustav glowered at him. Caleb withered under the overwhelming disapproval of his stare. It reminded him too much of being in Ikithon’s house.

“ _What_ is he doing here?” Gustav demanded.

“It’s his birthday, remember?” Molly took a half-step forward to partially stand in front of Caleb. “We were throwing him a party in the courtyard.”

“Then why is he _inside,_ with _you_ , _alone?_ ”

Molly’s tail lashed to one side. “For fuck’s sake, Gustav. I’m not some high-class debutante who needs a chaperone around men lest they besmirch my honor or what have you. I’m allowed to bring friends here. Why don’t you go talk to Jester? She’s planning a sleepover and she’s inviting Beau _and_ Brenatto. Who knows what—”

“Mollymauk you _know_ why it’s a _completely_ different case when it’s the two of you,” Gustav interrupted. “You can’t be _dallying_ with anyone while you’re under contract!”

“We weren’t _dallying!_ ” Molly hissed. He pulled the soiled handkerchief from his pocket. “Mister Caleb was _assisting me_ because I got a nosebleed and needed someone to help me to the washroom.”

Some of the fire in Gustav’s countenance extinguished. “…Oh.”

Molly stood more firm. Despite only being a couple inches taller than Caleb, Caleb felt like a small child cowering behind his more confident partner. “In fact I was in a bit of a panic and nearly cracked a horn running into a wall but Caleb kept a cool head and caught me before I fell. And how did I repay him?” He shook his head in chagrin. “I sneezed blood into the poor man’s hair. Fortunately we were already near the showers so he was able to get cleaned up.”

Caleb nearly spoke up to say that hadn’t happened, but he had forgotten that his hair was still wet and instead he was relieved that Molly concocted a plausible reason for it. Helping Molly or not, Caleb doubted that Gustav would tolerate Caleb and Molly bathing together.

“Are you alright, Mollymauk?” Desmond asked.

“Oh, it was most likely being out in the dry weather too long. I’m fine.”

Desmond raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You haven’t been doing anything _else_ that might harm your nose, have you?”

Molly sighed. “No, Desmond, I haven’t been snorting questionable substances recently. Not even snuff. It was just the dry weather.”

Gustav cleared his throat. “Well then, um, thank you, Mister Widogast, for taking care of our Molly, but you can return to your party now.”

Caleb bowed his head and turned to leave, but Molly caught him with his tail. “He’s staying with me until rehearsal.”

“N-No, it’s alright, Mollym-mauk,” Caleb said. “I erm… I should see if the others are um… I should go.”

Although Gustav nodded in stern agreement, Desmond looked up at both Molly and Caleb and said, “Did either of you lads eat something worthwhile at your party or was it only pastries and booze?”

Caleb didn’t know how to answer so he just told the truth. “Th-There were other things, like erm…fruits and non-alcoholic beverages.”

Desmond shrugged. “Usually when someone loses that much blood they need to eat something nutritious to regain their strength. I was thinking of cooking up a quick meal for Molly, and as a thank you for seeing him safely back to his room, you’re welcome to stay and eat as well, Mister Widogast.”

“Molly can’t be _busy_ in case he has _company,_ Desmond,” Gustav said.

“He’d be busy eating and recovering anyway,” Desmond replied. To Molly he said, “And if you think you’d rather take it easy tonight you’re welcome to do so. Jester needs to rehearse too.”

Molly tucked his tail close to his side between him and Caleb. “I think I’ll be alright. Just need a lie-down and some good food, yes, thank you, Desmond.”

Desmond nodded and patted Gustav on the arm. “Well, I’ll head to the kitchens then. Best of luck with your letters.”

Gustav huffed in displeasure, but did not argue. He merely looked Molly in the eye and said, “If he’s caught in your room, you know what will happen.”

“I do, Gustav.” Molly grinned. “And I also have a window he can climb out of in an emergency.”

Caleb was still braced for punishment or at least for someone to yell at him as Molly pulled him into his room. The door shut behind them. Molly locked it and let out a deep breath. He staggered over to the chair in front of his dressing table. Caleb snapped out of his stupor to help Molly sit in it. “Are you alright?”

Molly nodded. “Fine. Fine, I just…wish that hadn’t happened.”

“I’m sorry,” Caleb said. “I really should go if this is going to make everything worse for you.”

“No.” Molly grasped Caleb’s hand. “You’re making it better. I was so scared you were actually going to leave until Desmond stepped in. I…I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Caleb’s heart sank. “Why? What is it? Do you feel another nosebleed coming?” He got to his knees at Molly’s side. “Do you need anything?”

Molly smiled. “Just you,” he said. His tail curled around his own ankle. Caleb had seen him do that when he felt insecure or upset. “I um… If I _do_ have to…take company tonight, I’d rather spend as much time with you beforehand as I can.”

If he could have, Caleb would have stormed into Gustav’s office and torn up the contract himself at that moment. “Molly…” He didn’t like the question he was about to ask, but he needed to know. “What does he _do_ to you?”

Molly stroked Caleb’s hair comfortingly. “Nothing worse than the average client. But I can’t stand the bloody bastard. I doubt he’s worse than Ikithon, but would you want to spend multiple nights a week with any of the doctors from the asylum? Even the nicest one?”

Caleb shuddered. The nicest doctor at the asylum was the one who gave him warnings if he was straying into punishable behavior, but they never hesitated to "correct" him if he crossed the line accidentally. “N-No, I would not.”

“Well there you go. Even if all he did was sit in the same room as me and read a book I’d still hate it.” Molly leaned down to rest his forehead on Caleb’s. “I want to be full of you so I have something else to think about. Maybe he won’t come tonight, or maybe he will but he won’t want to stay long afterward. I’ll sleep better regardless if I have more memories of you than him for today.”

Caleb took Molly’s hand in his. “Then of course I’ll stay with you.” He smiled. “You _do_ have a window I can escape though, after all.”

Molly chuckled and kissed Caleb on the tip of his nose. “Yes I do. It’s not the most discreet exit, but I doubt anyone of importance would be keeping an eye on it.” He sighed. “C’mon, we could both use some cuddles after that exchange. Desmond will be busy for at least another ten minutes.”

They climbed into Molly’s bed together, keeping their clothes on in case they lost track of time. Molly curled his tail around Caleb’s waist. It was something so intimately and uniquely Molly that sometimes when Caleb couldn’t sleep he would twist up one of his shirts until it was like a rope and he would drape it over himself to mimic the feeling of Molly’s tail. It wasn’t the same, but it helped him feel not so alone.

“I love you,” he said softly.

Molly purred and kissed him. “I love you too, my Sunshine.” He touched their foreheads together again. “Sunshine I’m glad that you’re here, to fight off my doubts and fears. This contract won’t let me go, but Sunshine I love you so.”

Caleb smiled. It was the poem he had written for the play, when Lucien and Stone are apart and holding onto their love to give them strength. Some of the words were different because of the situation, but naturally Caleb knew the next lines and how to alter them too. “Starlight I’m always with you, and I am so afraid too, but I keep your light in my heart, so the bastard can’t keep us apart.”

Molly held Caleb close. Caleb buried his face in Molly’s shoulder. “Caleb,” Molly said. “If… If it does come down to…the worst, and we have to stay away from each other, please never forget that meeting you was the best day of my life, tied with the day Gustav found me.” His tail curled tighter around Caleb. “Even if I was a kidnapped prince they gave up on ransoming and dumped on the side of that road and I had the option to return home and rule over a prosperous kingdom, I’d tell them to fuck off if it meant I had to leave you behind. You mean the world to me.” He let out a soft bark of a laugh. “Except the world means so much because you’re in it.”

“The world is more wonderful with you in it too, Molly.” Caleb nuzzled Molly’s neck. “Once I’m free to give you all the time in the world, believe me it will be yours.”

“I’d do the same in a heartbeat.” A pause. Molly’s tail quivered. “Except… I can’t risk ruining the Cabaret. I love you deeply, but there are dozens of people relying on the success of this play. I’d never forgive myself if—”

“Hey,” Caleb interrupted softly, shifting up to look Molly in the eye. “It’s alright. I’ve been terrified of the same thing. This is the first time I’ve had friends in so long. Their careers are on the line too.” Not to mention what a criminal like the Gentleman might do to the person who broke a contract with him. He cupped the back of Molly’s head and pulled him in for a gentle kiss. “We won’t let that happen. We’ve been careful. We’ve been staying apart from each other, even when it hurts. Maybe… Maybe we should just not do this again at all until after the show opens and you’ve earned some of the money back.”

Molly’s tail twitched and tensed. “I’d never survive.” His voice was weak, fearful, pleading. “I need you, Caleb. I know it’s selfish. This whole damn thing is selfish. If I were stronger and not such a selfish brat I would say yes, distance is the best thing for us and then we can be together when it’s over, but…but it’s like that poem you wrote, about the two lovers who were buried miles and miles apart and they both got up out of their graves to wander the roads they had walked before, hoping to find each other.” He smiled with a hint of sadness. “Even if I was dead that couldn’t keep me away from you. I’d find a way back to you. I wouldn’t know peace until I did.”

Caleb’s heart cracked at the mere thought of Molly dying. It was the absolutely worst case scenario if they were found out and he had lain awake crying several nights praying it would never happen. He held Molly to comfort them both. “I’ve…done a lot of thinking about my time in the asylum, now that I’m far enough away that those memories don’t make me sick. Trying to figure out how much of what I think about myself is true and what is shit they _wanted_ me to think. And… And they often told me that choosing to be s-sick was selfish, that wanting anything other than the perfect Empire life with a wife and children and devotion to the king made me selfish. You and I are doing what makes us happy and it _is_ risky for others, but we need each other like we need oxygen. People can say, ‘You shouldn’t breathe so much, other people need that air too.’ But we all have a right to what we need to survive. They can tell us not to love each other, but that won’t stop us from _needing_ to love each other.”

Molly purred, low and sweet. “I do need you,” he said. “You really are my Sunshine. Every day without you is dull and cold and I can only stand it for so long.”

“Springtime always comes after winter,” Caleb said. “We don’t know how long this winter will last, but we know spring has to come eventually.”

They lay in each other’s arms until Caleb’s sense of time told him about ten minutes had passed. He moved onto the chair, which he pulled over to Molly’s bedside. Molly clutched the toy dragon Caleb had won for him instead. Caleb read Molly one of his older poems from his notebook. Molly had heard it before but he requested it specifically. It was one about a boy who tries to prove he’s a man by going into the woods at night to fight a monster, but every crack of dry twigs and call of the night birds makes him more and more frightened. He hears someone calling his name and he thinks it’s the _Waldhexe_ , a terrifying old crone who eats the hearts of lost children, and he runs from her back home. His mother isn’t there and he fears it’s because the _Waldhexe_ came and took her away, so he goes back into the woods to save her. The voice calling him _was_ his mother out looking for him. She tells him he shouldn’t have gone out alone, but she’s proud of him for facing his fears and coming to rescue her. It was based on personal experience, sort of. As a child, Caleb used to imagine himself in all the stories his parents told him and he wished he could do something brave so people would write stories about him. He thought he might one day become a soldier like his father, but he had no stomach for violence, and by the time he went off to school he was disappointed in himself for not at least _trying_ to have a heroic adventure like the brave children in fairy tales.

“I’d like to think that’s how I wound up on the side of the road,” Molly said. “I wasn’t… _abandoned_ , I just…wandered off on my own trying to make a name for myself and…well, failed miserably.”

Caleb stroked Molly’s hair. “But you didn’t. You _did_ make a name for yourself. You literally built yourself up from nothing.”

Molly smiled bashfully. “I wouldn’t have been able to if the right person hadn’t found me, and the Cabaret hadn’t raised me. I am who I am because of them.”

As if on cue, Desmond knocked on the door and announced he needed help, since his hands were full.

“I’ll get it,” Caleb said. He gently squeezed Molly’s shoulder. “You just rest.” He got up and unlocked the door for Desmond. Even before the door was fully open, the smell of seasoned potatoes and cooked chicken wafted into the room. Caleb’s mouth watered.

Desmond walked in, a full plate in each hand. The plates were loaded with mashed potatoes, two slices of chicken breast drizzled in gravy, and a small pile of sliced vegetables. “The potatoes are left over from last night, but I heated them up the best I could,” he said. He set the plates down on Molly’s dressing table. “Tuck in, you two.”

“Thank you, Desmond,” Caleb said. “It looks and smells wonderful.”

Molly sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Absolutely. Thank you so much, Desmond. I’ll be fit as a phoenix in no time with a supper like this.”

Demond gave Molly a nod. “Take it easy if you need to. All this work you’re putting into your part won’t mean a thing if you wear yourself down by opening night.” The corner of his mouth quirked into a smile. “We can let the others know you’ve got the energy to rehearse and that’s it, straight to bed afterward. Our star needs his rest.”

Caleb liked Desmond. Gustav was a good man, yes, but from what Caleb had seen he was too focused on the upkeep of the Cabaret as a whole that he overlooked the people that made it up sometimes. Desmond was good at reading people and knowing when to intervene. Molly was in good hands. “I will leave him to it after rehearsal,” Caleb said. “I agree that he needs to take time for himself now and then. He’s so dedicated though.”

“That’s our Mollymauk,” Desmond chuckled. “It’s not that he won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, he just has a way of being too busy to hear you when you say it.”

Molly tapped the mattress with his tail. “ _Someone_ has to pull their weight around here,” he said, chin tilted haughtily. Then he grinned. “But I know my limits and I at least need to stay here and rest until rehearsal. I’d rather not do it alone though. You know how I get when I’m bored and by myself…”

Desmond nodded. “Yes, I remember having to bandage and _re_ bandage your arms every time you practiced sword juggling alone.” He pointed to Caleb. “Make sure he stays in that bed.”

Caleb didn’t detect any innuendo under that request, but he blushed regardless. “I-I-I will do my best, Herr Moondrop.”

“Good. Rehearsal’s in a little under two hours. We’re going to be testing Gustav’s full dragon costume, so even if you don’t feel up to performing, be sure to come watch.”

“Alright, Desmond,” Molly said. “See you then, either way.”

The dinner Desmond had prepared was delicious, even better than what they made at the Leaky Tap, perhaps on par with Caduceus’s cooking but in a different way. Caleb, who had trained himself not to eat much at the asylum, ate everything on his plate. Molly clearly enjoyed the meal as well. He hummed decadently every few bites. Caleb smiled as he chewed and watched Molly eat. It was good to see him so pleased. Furthermore his nose hadn’t bled again and he wasn’t sniffling anymore.

They finished eating around the same time. Molly pushed around the last of his potatoes to absorb the remaining sauce on his plate then scooped it all up with one finger and licked it off. From the way his tail quivered and what Caleb could see of his faint pupils gazing back at him, Caleb could tell Molly did that just to get a reaction out of him.

Caleb set his plate down then took Molly’s plate for him. “So, Mister Mollymauk, I hear I am supposed to make sure you get lots and lots of rest today, _ja?_ ” Memories itched in the back of his mind. Doctors standing over him, arms crossed, brows furrowed, needle at the ready in the pouch on their belts. _Herr Ermundrud, are you going to go to your room quietly or will we have to quiet you ourselves?_ Caleb clenched his fist. He would not be that sort of “caretaker”. He would _actually_ take care of Molly.

Molly stretched out on his bed. “Mmm, the problem, Mister Caleb, is that I can be such a restless person. If I’m not doing something with my hands…” He licked his lower lip sensually. “…or my mouth, then I can’t relax at all.”

“Ah, I think I know the solution then,” Caleb said with a smile. He slid into bed beside Molly and took Molly’s hand in his. “I will simply have to keep your hands _and_ your mouth busy with something soothing so you won’t go running off and overexerting yourself.” He leaned down to kiss Molly softly.

Molly purred. He squeezed Caleb’s hand. “But can you keep that up for two hours?”

Caleb kissed him again. “We can find out.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lovers are discovered.

Molly was secretly relieved he had an excuse to take it easy. The part of his ego that needed to shoulder all the responsibilities he could carry for the sake of proving that he could didn’t like it. He got some more embroidery done, and he still attended rehearsals regardless of whether he was on stage or not, but it didn’t feel like enough. The only saving grace was that he decided to go for “invigorating walks” accompanied by Yasha or Jester or both every day, and somehow Caleb crossed his path more often than not. It might have something to do with how often Molly stopped off at the Leaky Tap to sit, warm up, and have a drink, but no one could blame him for that. And if he needed to go upstairs to use the restroom and required Caleb’s help to guide his tipsy self to the correct door, so be it.

He still had to spend time with the Gentleman, which was unfortunate. The excuse of “I can’t be too exhausted for tomorrow” only worked so many times. It was easy to waste the Gentleman’s time with empty platitudes and cooed praises. Molly kept up the charade that he was utterly elated that the Gentleman essentially owned him now, that it was an honor to please him in exchange for something so simple as funding for their play. It made him feel more sick than his dizzy spells and strange bruises ever did. Sometimes when he snuck away with Caleb at the Leaky Tap he just asked Caleb to hold him until he didn’t hate his situation so much.

“When people see you perform they will trip over themselves to fund more plays for you to be in,” Caleb murmured to Molly one night. “You’ll be free soon.”

Molly chuckled. “But then _you’ll_ be the one unavailable,” he said. “You’ll be up here day and night writing those plays for us.”

Caleb smiled and kissed Molly’s forehead. “I am told I need to focus on taking care of myself more. That means resting every so often and doing things that make me happy, like spending time with the most beautiful and talented person in all of Exandria.”

“As I said, you’ll be spending a lot of time with yourself,” Molly teased. He nuzzled his head under Caleb’s chin and purred. “But you won’t be alone. Once I’m out of this contract I’ll gladly come play the part of your muse.”

“You already play that part so well, _Liebling_.” Caleb stroked Molly’s hair, making him purr harder. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

There was a reason Molly had always tried to live in the present. The past was painful and the future was distracting. He was so wrapped up in what would happen when the Cabaret’s debts were paid that he became a little too confident, too complacent.

The play was nearly ready. The date Gustav had set and printed on flyers and posters all around the Outersteads was a mere week away. The set pieces were completed, the costumes were done, the fighting scenes went smoother every night.

Then the Gentleman told them to change the ending.

“It’s all a bit trite, isn’t it?” he said. “Is this _really_ the ending you want to leave the audience with? Surely they’ll see it coming. What’s spectacular about that?”

Gustav unhooked himself from the full-sized dragon costume and took a few incredulous steps towards the front edge of the stage. “B— But my good sir, we’re only a week from opening night.”

“Which means no one has seen it yet and you have the opportunity to fix it before they do.” The Gentleman leaned back in his chair. He was accompanied by the tabaxi today, Cree. She sat silently at his side, barely moving except for her yellow eyes glancing back and forth between whoever was speaking. “I don’t think Stone should be victorious.”

Molly’s heart dropped. “What makes you say that, dear Gentleman?” he asked. He resisted the urge to check on Caleb, who was sitting a few rows back with Beau and Caduceus.

The Gentleman shrugged. “We all know the stories where a hero emerges from nowhere to vanquish a monster. Wouldn’t it be more potent if the _true_ hero of the story was the one who sacrificed himself for the good of the town when the dashing swordsman couldn’t defeat the beast with might alone? Lucien should allow the dragon to take him elsewhere in exchange for the town’s safety.”

“But that’s not a good ending!” Caleb said, leaping to his feet. Molly felt dizzy from the sudden stab of fear shooting down his spine. “The story is about love overcoming all obstacles, even ones that seem impossible.”

The Gentleman turned and gave Caleb a pitying yet condescending glance. “Sorry to say, Mister Widogast, but that’s simply not how these things work. Fantasy or not, the ‘power of love’ can only do so much. Why shouldn’t Lucien spare the townsfolk the fear of fighting a dragon when all he has to do is be kept and cared for? That doesn’t sound so terrible to me.”

“Because he is not an object!” Caleb was postured aggressively, shoulders up and fists clenched. His blue eyes burned with fury so hot Molly could see it even through the glare of the stage lights. “He is not some prize or bartering chip to be traded for others’ safety. Molly should be allowed to choose his own fate!”

Molly’s heart nearly stopped. He prayed to the Moonweaver that the Gentleman would accept that slip of the tongue as Caleb mixing up the names of the actor and the character. From what he could see of the Gentleman’s face, only his jaw moved slightly. Cree, on the other hand, had bristled noticeably. Whether she was responding to some subtle cue from the Gentleman or she was simply clever enough to notice what he didn’t, Molly didn’t particularly care. Regardless of why, Caleb was most certainly in danger.

Caleb stammered a few times, correcting himself, and Beau looked ready to jump to his defense. The Gentleman snapped his head back to face the stage. “Mr. Fletching, if you have any hopes of paying your debts, I would recommend you change the ending to appeal to a more _imaginative_ audience.” His nostrils flared. “And while you’re at it, I always thought the scenes where Lucien and Stone simply stand opposite each other and recite their little love poem dragged on too long. Remove them so the pace of the show isn’t quite so tedious.”

Gustav cast a nervous glance at Molly. Guilt struck Molly in the chest like a fire poker pulled right from the embers. “M-My good Gentleman,” Gustav said. “We’ll need at least a day to alter the script and then we actually have to _rehearse_ it. It would be nearly _impossible_ to—”

“Ah!” Molly scoffed loudly, interrupting. He descended from the stage. “Is that any way to speak to our dear, generous patron? I’m appalled, Gustav. We’ve worked tighter deadlines than that.” He walked over to stand before the Gentleman. His tail trailed up the Gentleman’s leg enticingly. That put all of the Gentleman’s attention on him, exactly the way he wanted it. “Why don’t you and I have a nice little chat in the Dragon tonight? We can discuss your artistic vision and I can inform Gustav and Desmond when we’re finished.”

The Gentleman eyed Molly with lust, though there was something wary in his gaze. He snatched Molly’s tail in his hand, not enough to tug Molly off his feet or hurt him, but it was reminiscent of times Molly had seen people walking their dogs and yanking their leashes to keep the dog in line. Molly forced an devilish grin. “Oh, I am certain you and I will have quite a _thorough_ conversation, my sweet,” the Gentleman said. “I sincerely hope you’re up for it.”

“Of course,” Molly purred. “You deserve to get everything you desire.” He thought of the times he had assured Caleb of that fact. His heart ached and raged that it had to say it to this man who barely deserved the clothes on his back.

The Gentleman released Molly’s tail. Molly flicked it across the Gentleman’s lap as he turned to walk back up to the stage. “Though one bit of advice I feel I should offer you now,” the Gentleman said. Molly froze. He twisted to face the Gentleman again, terrified of what he might see, but he did his best to keep his expression sultry and intrigued. The Gentleman leered at him. “If you want a change of scenery and some drinks, you can do better than the Leaky Tap. Come over to my establishment, the Evening Nip. I’ll see to it that you’re treated properly.” He looked up to the stage to address Gustav. “That goes for everyone in your Cabaret.”

Molly felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He wanted to curl up on the floor and vomit. Someone had seen him and Caleb together too many times. The Gentleman knew. The fact that Caleb had all his bones and his face intact was a miracle. Molly beamed. “Oh, well, I could never turn down such an offer. I do love a good pampering.” He continued his walk back to the stage, though as soon as he was completely turned away from the Gentleman he let his expression fall to one of despair for a second or two. His smile was back by the time he was up on stage again.

In the audience, Caleb was on the verge of a heart attack. Beau had allowed him to grip her arm after he sat down. His fingers dug into the sleeve of her coat but the muscles of her forearm were hard and sinewy. She barely seemed to mind how hard he was holding onto her. He appreciated it. If he didn’t have someone else here to help him he would be curled up screaming into his knees right now. Caduceus reached over Beau to pat Caleb’s shoulder. A few tears fell from Caleb’s cheeks.

It was all his fault. They were going to come for him. They would come in the night the way the people from the asylum had. They would drag him out of his bed and beat him to an unrecognizable pulp and leave his body in an alley somewhere. And Molly. What would that monster do to Molly? Caleb would never forgive himself. He was so selfish. So naïve. He thought love could overcome all obstacles. This wasn’t an obstacle. This wasn’t a tower wall that could be climbed or a chasm that could be traversed with a happy ending awaiting him on the other side. This was hell. He almost wished for the needle so he could be numb again. It would stop the pain in his heart and keep him from reacting in a way that could prove the Gentleman’s suspicions were all true.

The Gentleman requested a brief meeting with Gustav and Desmond once rehearsal was over. He told Molly to go wait for him in the Dragon. Caleb stole this opportunity, dangerous though it was, and slipped backstage towards the dressing rooms. He had to speak to Molly one last time.

Without Caleb having to say a word, Fjord, Jester, Veth, and Yasha positioned themselves on either side of the corridor, paired off in conversation while keeping an eye out. Caleb held Molly tight. Molly trembled in his arms.

“I don’t want you to go with him,” Caleb whimpered.

Molly rubbed Caleb’s back. “I have to. He could destroy everything. This is my only chance to win him over again, keep us in his good graces.”

“B-But what if-f-f he…” Caleb couldn’t bring himself to say the horrible things he feared the Gentleman might do, as though voicing them out loud would guarantee that they happened.

“He won’t hurt me,” Molly said. “If he does and I can’t perform, then _he_ would be breaking the contract and we’d keep all his money.”

Caleb knew full well that there were plenty of ways to hurt someone that could be covered up or dismissed as something else. True, the Gentleman wouldn’t break any of Molly’s bones. He was likely saving that punishment for Caleb. “I’m… I am frightened, Molly.”

Molly purred sadly. “Me too.” His tail curled tightly around Caleb’s leg. “Whatever happens next is going to happen. Regardless of the outcome, know that I love you and I’m doing this so we can be together someday. The Cabaret’s success is _our_ success. Once we’ve paid our debts there will be nothing to stop us, alright?” He swallowed and his purrs stopped. “But…I think we should stay away from each other until then.”

Caleb nodded. He always feared this day would come, when the two of them had to separate for an indefinite time, but Molly was right. “Keep my light in your heart, the bastard can’t keep us apart.”

That made Molly purr again. “My Sunshine I love you so.” He embraced Caleb harder. “I don’t want to let you go…”

“I don’t want to either,” Caleb said. “I would gladly slay a dragon for you if it meant keeping you safe. Not being with you will be just as great of a feat.”

“You can do it,” Molly said. “You’re strong. I’ll be strong too. Every day will be one day closer to a better tomorrow.”

Caleb nodded again. “We’ll find a way.”

Molly kept his arms around Caleb, but pulled back to kiss him. Caleb cut out everything else in his mind so he could memorize this moment. It would have to last him a long while. His eyes itched and throat burned with the tears he longed to shed, but now was not the time.

All too soon, the kiss ended. Molly pressed their foreheads together. “I’ll light a candle when I’m done tonight. Then you can know that I’m alright.” He smiled. “Hey, I wrote you a little poem just then.”

Caleb chuckled softly. “You did. It was a wonderful poem.” He stole one last kiss. “I love you, my Starlight.”

“And I love you, my Sunshine,” Molly said, cupping Caleb’s cheek. “Forever and for always.”

They embraced as though if they held each other tight enough they could meld into one being. When that didn’t work, they exchanged a final sweet kiss and parted ways, Caleb going with Fjord and Veth and Molly accompanying Yasha and Jester to the dressing rooms. Caleb, who had practice suppressing his emotions when he knew he was being watched, held in his tears until he made it back to the Leaky Tap.

Veth sat with him as he wept into his mattress. She patted his head in a motherly fashion and told him it was okay to cry. Once he ran out of tears to shed Caduceus was right there with a cup of tea and a glass of water. Beau and Fjord came down to check on him as well. Fjord sat on the bed next to him.

“This is, unfortunately, the sort of thing that happens when you love someone like Mollymauk,” Fjord said. “Performers, courtesans, anyone who plays on the emotions of their clients for money, whether they’re trying to entertain or seduce them or both, is going to have obligations like this.”

Caleb sniffled. “It’s… I-I am not jealous.” He sniffled again. “I know why he has to do it. But I… It is terrible because it he has to be with such an awful man. My heart weeps for him, and it hurts. I want it all to be done and over with, but I can't do anything to help him now." He rubbed his chest. His heart truly felt like it was crying, pouring tears of sorrow into the pit of his stomach. Having friends here to support him made the experience less awful. They couldn't do anything either though and he scratched at the scars on his wrist. He briefly wished that attempt had worked so he couldn't have made it this far to put Molly in such a position.

Fjord sighed and shook his head. He patted Caleb on the back. “We have a cautionary tale we tell in Port Damali — though I suppose the same one gets told along the coast, or at least a similar one — about a sailor who was shipwrecked and rescued by a gorgeous woman who lived on a tiny island by herself. She nourished him and sang to him and cared for him until he recovered. Naturally, he fell in love with her, but he knew he had to return to his home. There were others on the mainland who missed him. She gave him her boat and he sailed home.

“Some time later he was on the sea again, manning the helm, when he heard her voice sing to him across the waves. Without a thought he steered towards it so he could see his beloved again. His fellows tried to stop him but he had gone mad with longing. By the time they pried him off the wheel it was too late. The ship ran aground in the same reef that sank his previous ship. The woman was a siren, you see. It was in her nature to lure men to their deaths. In that one man’s case she simply went about it the long way.”

Caleb scoffed. “Molly is not… He loves me. He has to lure the Gentleman in order to fund the Cabaret, but—”

“I understand,” Fjord interrupted. “That’s simply the way the story goes. In your case, it’s more that the love you and Molly share is the siren. Neither of you can ignore it. Even when it could wreak havoc on everything around you, you are drawn to each other. Molly has the chance to fix this. You don’t like it, and if he’s half as devastated as you are right now then he’s certainly suffering too.”

“I know what it’s like to be away from your loved ones,” Veth said. “I wish I could spend most of my time in Felderwin and only have to come here a few times a month instead of the other way around. But there weren’t any good jobs back home and this way I can keep my husband and son in a good house with food on the table and clothes on their back. If this play earns us a lot of money then I’ll be able to take off a few months or a year to spend with them. And when Molly is out of his contract maybe you two can do the same, disappear together for a while just because you can.”

Caleb had considered it. He used to have dreams of adventuring when he was a boy, and after getting released from the asylum he had hopes of traveling to places that would inspire his poetry. He could take Molly on some of those travels, maybe visit the coast or spend some time in the more friendly areas of Xhorhas. Wherever Molly was, it would be the most beautiful place on Exandria. They might even find their way to Issylra, not in their imaginations but in real life.

The lovely fantasies shattered and turned to bile when Caleb remembered where Molly was at that very moment. He got up on shaky legs to walk over to his balcony. Beau came with him, allowing him to hold her arm the way he had at the Cabaret. The air outside was so cold that taking a deep breath felt like drowning but Caleb gulped it down anyway. There was no light on atop the Dragon’s head. Not yet. It was still too early, perhaps. But Caleb would wait. He had to know.

Molly had to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a relatively short one because the next one is going to be **a lot** so brace yourselves and be sure to check the content warnings in the next chapter's beginning notes.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly attempts to appease the Gentleman. It doesn't end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger warnings:** attempted rape, strangulation, violence against sex workers, bad news
> 
> If you wish to skip this chapter, scroll down to the end notes for a summary.

Molly delayed in every way he knew how while also making those delays seem absolutely necessary. He redid his make-up to something more sultry than stage-worthy. He put on thigh-high tights with a garter belt under his robe. He daubed himself with his best perfume. The Gentleman was getting everything he paid for, he just had to be a little patient first. It didn’t help that Molly’s tears smudged the make-up and his shaking hands fumbled with the clasps of the garter belt and it took all his willpower not to smash the bottle of perfume in frustration.

Eventually he was presentable and there was nothing left to do. As a last resort, he took one of the pills from the little silver box he had received as a gift from some forgotten patron and took it with a full glass of water. By the time the Gentleman was taking what he wanted, Molly should be in a better state to cope with it.

Yasha, Bo, and Blude were all sitting in the courtyard having a drink. Molly was a little relieved. If anything went wrong he could signal them. Cree was also there though, alone at a table off to the side with one hand around a mug and her eyes locked on the Dragon. Except when Molly strode up those eyes snapped to him. Something inside him shrank back reflexively, hiding from the stare. On the outside he maintained his aloof posture. He nodded to his friends then went right to the stairs up the Dragon’s tail.

Molly paused for a few seconds at the door. He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and filled his mind with thoughts of Caleb. They simultaneously stung his heart yet steeled his resolve. He had to do this for the both of them. For everyone. Gustav, Desmond, Marion, Jester, Yasha, Ornna, Toya, the twins, Bo and Blude and even the Mighty Nein. They were all counting on him to not fuck this up. He stroked himself a little to feign excitement. With a heavy heart and a devilish smile, he opened the door.

The Gentleman was sitting in one of the armchairs. There was a bottle of wine and a nearly empty glass on the table beside him. Molly purred in delight and immediately went over to sit in the Gentleman’s lap. However, the Gentleman put up one hand. He scowled at Molly.

“On your knees,” he said.

Molly blinked in confusion, but did as he was told. “Saving the talking for later, are we?” he asked with a wink.

“Something like that.” The Gentleman stood, towering over Molly. He slid his hands around Molly’s horns and gripped them tight, forcing Molly to look up at him. “I’ve heard some…rather upsetting rumors about you, my sweet.”

Molly tried to act like he was having a hard time keeping his eyes away from the Gentleman’s groin. “Is it the one about the ambassador from Emon? Because I can assure you she was a wonderful lady and anything you might have heard was a gross exaggeration. She did have some…odd requests, but nothing—”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” the Gentleman hissed, clenching his fists around Molly’s horns. Molly inhaled sharply as a reflex. He cowered, but didn’t avoid the Gentleman’s glare. “I will give you one chance to explain yourself. If you pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, your punishment will be _severe_.”

Molly’s heart thrashed in his chest like a mouse caught by the tail. He swallowed. “This is about the writer, isn’t it?” he asked meekly.

The Gentleman curled his lip in a menacing grin. “Tell me about the writer.” His tone left no doubt that he had plenty of information, he was just waiting to hear Molly’s side of the story.

“H-He’s obsessed with me,” Molly said. He squirmed in shame, but the Gentleman held him firm by the horns. “I’ll admit, I played with him because I found his infatuation adorable. He said he would write more plays for me to star in, so I gave him enough attention to keep him wrapped around my finger. He never gave me any money so he’s not a client of mine.”

“Did you pleasure him?” the Gentleman asked, twisting his hands around Molly’s horns.

Molly already knew his face was flushed. He glanced away sheepishly, then looked back up at the Gentleman through his eyelashes. “Only a few times,” he admitted. “He’s so enamored with me he could only last a minute or two, even when I touched him through his clothes. It was amusing. And he never pleasured me back. He could never compare to you. It would be like comparing a pebble stuck in my boot to a mountain.” He considered the Gentleman to be the bothersome pebble, one that plagued his every step and he couldn’t get rid of. Caleb was the majestic mountain. Molly channeled his adoration for Caleb in the way he looked at the Gentleman.

The Gentleman pushed Molly away. Molly let himself fall back to the ground. “So you _have_ seen another lover behind my back.”

“No,” Molly said, crawling over to grovel at the Gentleman’s feet. “Not a lover. I could never love someone like him. What is there to love about him? He tells a good story, but a story can’t provide for you or keep you safe. You’re so clever and powerful and you’ve been so good to me. It’s you I love, dear Gentleman.”

“You love the money I give to the Cabaret,” the Gentleman said. There was a gleam in his eye that belied how much he was enjoying the flattery though.

“But you didn’t have to give us all that if you didn’t want to,” Molly said. He bowed to kiss the Gentleman’s boot. The tip of his tail twitched in self-loathing. “You’re also so very generous, a man of the arts. I appreciate everything you’ve done for us and all I want is to treat you right in return.”

The Gentleman stroked Molly’s hair, then clenched it in his fist to yank Molly’s head back again. “Then you should have been honest from the start,” he said. “Did the writer know you belong to me? That your contract _specifically states_ that you aren’t to see anyone else?”

Molly swallowed. It was difficult with his neck twisted like this. “I-I told him I was yours, but didn’t tell him about the contract because I didn’t want to scare him. Forgive me, I couldn’t resist toying with his emotions. It was just a bit of fun. I’ve only ever wanted you from the moment I spied you through the curtain.” He cautiously placed his hands on the Gentleman’s thighs. The Gentleman didn’t stop him, so Molly gently stroked him with his thumbs. “I am yours, my dearest Gentleman. Your prize, your pet. I only wish we could have met sooner.” He pouted his lower lip bashfully, the way Marion taught him to if he accidentally annoyed a client. “I told you that the first night we met, remember?”

The Gentleman snorted a laugh. “Funny you should mention being my pet, sweetling. I brought a present for you, in case you earned it tonight. It’s on the bed waiting for you.”

“Oh?” Molly’s stomach dropped, but he grinned. “May I go see it?”

The Gentleman released his hair and stroked his cheek. The smear of moisture was cool on Molly’s heated skin and he prayed the Gentleman wouldn’t read too much into the fact that he was still blushing. “You may,” he said, turning his nose up so he could look down it at Molly.

Molly stood, but kept his posture low. So far the worst hadn’t happened. He was utterly disgusted with himself, but if all this would protect Caleb then he’d debase himself like this all night. He strode up the short stairs to the bed. The drug he took earlier was starting to take effect, slowing his heartbeat. It wouldn’t make him completely numb, only lessen his senses a little. They were good on stressful nights to take the edge off. This was the most stressful night of Molly’s life so far.

A bright glitter caught Molly’s eye. It was stretched out across a pillow on the bed. He got closer and realized it was a necklace of diamonds, nearly two inches thick. However, it was short enough that he suspected when he put it on it would fit more like a collar. His gasp was genuine. “It’s beautiful,” he said.

The Gentleman came up behind him, putting his hands on Molly’s shoulders. Molly suppressed a shudder. “Only the best for my Diamond Devil.”

Molly turned to beam gratefully at him. “May I put it on?”

“Allow me.” The Gentleman took the necklace and stood behind Molly to clasp it around his neck. Beneath the growing haze from the drugs, Molly was terrified. The cool metal and gems pressed into his throat. The Gentleman could easily strangle him and leave him here on the bed. Instead, the Gentleman finished fastening it and let it go slack. It was still somewhat tight, but at least Molly could breathe. He relaxed a little, until the Gentleman placed his hands on Molly’s shoulders again and kneaded them gently. There was something controlling in his grip that made Molly’s tail lock up anxiously. “It looks marvelous on you.”

Molly purred. He ran his fingers over the many rows of diamonds. If he sold this he would likely have enough money to pay a tenth of the Cabaret’s debts. “A marvelous gift from a marvelous man,” he said.

The Gentleman didn’t remove his hands. “I’ve been thinking,” he said. “How would you like to make this little arrangement of ours…permanent?”

The drugs didn’t stop Molly’s stomach from dropping. A lance of fear shot through his heart. “H-How so?”

“Well…” The Gentleman used the hold he had on Molly to turn him around, which made Molly fall backwards onto the bed. “I’d be willing to be a lifetime benefactor of your Cabaret, given the proper incentive.” He straddled Molly and caressed his horn. “I’d give you everything you could ask for, an apartment of your own, servants, jewelry, fine clothes. But you would belong to me, as you do now.”

Molly wanted to scream, to shove the Gentleman off him and leap from the balcony to safety. He flicked his tail across the Gentleman’s back. “And what if you grow bored of me? What will happen to the Cabaret’s funding then? You know what they say about courtesans; when they grow old, their lovers grow cold.”

“I’ve known a fair number of tieflings through the years,” the Gentleman said. He leaned down to kiss the hollow of Molly’s throat. “Something about your devilish nature keeps you lovely even when other mortals your age have begun to fade.” He untied the sash on Molly’s robe. “Besides, pretty or not, I’ll find a use for you.”

There was no way Molly would ever agree to this. He couldn’t. Caleb. He would never see Caleb again. His chest shook with an involuntary sob, but he played it off as a doubtful huff and rolled over. “You say that now,” he said. He crossed his arms with a pout. “And what if some other lovely tiefling catches your eye? Will you toss me aside for them?”

The Gentleman sat to one side. He took Molly’s tail in hand to stroke it. “I treat my property well,” he said. “There may be others, yes, but I will keep your comfortable. Unlike some, I don’t break my promises.”

Molly didn’t miss the harsh edge to the Gentleman’s otherwise soft tone. He hadn’t forgiven Molly. He likely never would. Molly felt dizzy with panic. He shifted over, acting like he did so to reclaim his tail. Then he flopped onto his belly, letting one arm dangle over the edge of the bed. He was actually reaching for the hidden switch on the bed frame that activated the signal light at the bar, the one he was certain Yasha, Bo, and Blude were all watching intently. He flicked it twice, indicating that they should wait five minutes, then come interrupt with a lie about Gustav or Desmond or someone needing him right away. He wanted to signal that he needed a rescue immediately, but five minutes could give him time to at least convince the Gentleman that he hadn’t _really_ broken the contract. “This offer just seems too good to be true,” he said.

The Gentleman groped Molly’s ass. “I guarantee I could treat you better than a penniless writer.”

Molly swallowed. He propped himself up on his elbows to look over at the Gentleman. “Are you still concerned about him? I told you, it was just a bit of amusement. I was toying with him, nothing more.”

“Like you’re toying with me?” The Gentleman suddenly yanked Molly by the tail. Molly yelped and cowered, tucking his head down onto the bed with his shoulders bunched. “You’ve been making a fool of me this entire time, haven’t you? I looked into this ‘up-and-coming’ writer, as you called him. There’s no record of anyone named Caleb Widogast ever living or working in Rexxentrum.”

“I-It’s a pen name,” Molly stammered. “He—” His words were cut off by another yelp as the Gentleman pulled his tail harshly again.

“And he never published anything of repute under that name?” The Gentleman’s tone was acid, cutting Molly to his aching heart. “If I hadn’t seen all the work that had gone into this play I would assume you and your Cabaret were scamming me out of my money. No, you’ve merely been deceiving me from the start. My guess is someone else wrote your play and you passed _him_ off as your writer as an excuse to keep him around, your secret paramour.” He leaned in to growl menacingly, “I do not tolerate being made a fool of, _my sweet_.”

Molly panted. His heart was racing. His dizziness was getting worse as his mind tore itself apart trying to come up with an answer. In a few minutes, help would arrive. He might not last that long. With strength from his fear Molly twisted and fell out of the bed. Before he could reach the switch the Gentleman was on him again, grabbing him by the wrists. “I—” Molly choked. “I—”

“I never should have trusted a whore,” the Gentleman spat. He slapped Molly across the face. “A whore and a charlatan at that.”

The mix of adrenaline like electricity and the drugs weighing heavy in his blood made Molly hazy. All he could do was scramble to get away. The Gentleman pursued him around the bed. Molly grabbed the headboard to propel himself forward. Terror made every heartbeat feel like a stab to the chest. He screamed in hopes someone would hear him. What came out of his throat was a hoarse screech. Quiet, much too quiet. Somehow the necklace, the _collar_ , made it harder for him to breathe. Or was it because he was so focused on escape he had forgotten how to speak?

The Gentleman caught him before he could get to the stairs. Rather, he was able to catch Molly’s tail. The combination of pain and panic sent Molly to his knees. “Oh, we’re not done here yet. You still owe me something.”

Was it the drugs or did the Gentleman’s voice sound raspy? Venomous? Like the sinister hiss of a dragon. He pulled Molly up and grabbed him by the shoulders. He threw him back onto the bed. Molly hit the mattress hard, chest first, knocking the wind out of him. He couldn’t see through the tears.

“Whores like you are only good for one thing.” The Gentleman grabbed Molly’s robe and ripped it backwards. The fabric tore along the shoulder seams. Molly pleaded but it was no use. He tried crawling away on the bed instead. If only he could reach the switch again…

The Gentleman snatched Molly’s necklace, using it to hold Molly back. Molly gasped for air. He knew if he struggled it would only suffocate him faster but instinct told him to fight. He whipped the Gentleman with his tail over and over. It did nothing. A thick cold sensation set into his extremities. His heart and head pounded as his vision faded. He started to go limp. Only then did the Gentleman let him go. Except then the last thing Molly was aware of before he finally lost consciousness was his legs being forced apart.

* * *

Caleb stood on the balcony. He sniffled. Even with the scarf Nott insisted he wear, his nose was running from the cold. Caduceus handed him a fourth cup of tea. Caleb simply held it. He wasn’t thirsty anymore. He felt nothing but worry. His eyes were locked on the dim shadow of the Dragon’s head. Inside he was screaming. It was the same scream that had echoed inside him nearly every waking moment at the asylum. Sometimes he could let it out, become yet another howling lunatic, but mostly he had to keep it contained. He wanted so badly to let it out now. He would scream Molly’s name into the quiet night sky. The sound would drown out the whispers in his mind. He tightened his grip on his teacup. He had to ignore those voices. Any minute now there would be a light, a tiny star of hope and comfort. Any minute now Molly would signal to him that everything was alright. Any minute now…

And there it was. Relief washed over Caleb, warming him better than even Caduceus’s expertly crafted tea. Not only had Caleb’s eyes adjusted to the dark by now, he and Molly signaled each other with candles so often these days that he knew exactly where that light was supposed to be. There was no mistaking it. He allowed his friends to bring him back inside, where he threw on some night clothes and passed out from exhaustion soon after settling into bed.

* * *

Molly was on his back. Naked. Hands were holding him, touching him, moving him. He squirmed to get away. Nothing worked. He couldn’t even manage a twitch in his tail. He was too heavy and too light at the same time. Had the drugs gone bad? Was this an odd new side effect? He would have to throw them out when he got back to his room, just to be safe.

Except he _was_ in his room. His eyes focused. Everything had been a colorless haze but suddenly he was aware of blues and whites and silvers on his poster of The Moon. And there were the yellows and reds of The Sun, and the earthy tones splashed with grey on The Hanged Man. He glanced around at the enlarged Tarot cards that lined the walls of his room. How did he get here?

Voices in the hall. Molly couldn’t make out much beyond the occasional mention of his name. He wanted to call out to them and ask what was going on, but his throat hurt terribly. He rubbed it gently with one hand. He felt the bruises where the necklace had dug into him. A cold sickening shiver ran through him. However, an experimental flexing of his legs and tail told him he wasn’t sore down there beyond a slight cramp. Yasha must have gotten to him in time. He thanked the gods for that.

Bits of memory filtered back into Molly’s mind. Yasha’s angry cry. The Gentleman’s limp body on the bed. A doctor asking him questions. It was all a dream that had fewer details the longer he thought about it. But he remembered being taken down the Dragon’s stairs and panicking because he hadn’t lit a candle for Caleb like he promised. Yasha said she would take care of it, then he was in Blude’s arms and Molly’s recollection grew vague again after that.

The door opened just enough to reveal a bit of blue and a single curious eye. Molly lifted his hand in a weary wave. Jester flung the door open and dashed inside. “Oh my gosh Molly you’re alright we were so worried Gustav’s been talking to the doctor for like _half an hour_ and Yasha said she thought the Gentleman drugged you or something and— and—” She took the chair from Molly’s dressing table so she could sit beside him and hold his hand. “Are you okay?”

Yasha entered more calmly, though Molly knew her well enough to recognize that she, too, had been worried sick and was starting to relax. “I couldn’t wait five minutes,” she said. “I didn’t like the way that tabaxi was staring at the Dragon. It was like she knew he might try to make a quick escape. I’m so glad I didn’t let Bo talk me into being patient.” Her face fell into concern again. “He… He had you in a bad way. And you were barely responding. I had to hit him. I was just…so angry and scared.” She sighed. “I didn’t even light the candle like you said until I knew you were safe in bed being looked at by the doctor. I’m sorry.”

“But you did it?” Molly asked. His voice was hoarse. He coughed to clear his throat. It didn’t help much. “You lit the candle up on the head?”

“Like I’ve seen you do before, yeah.”

Molly relaxed into the bed. “Thank you, angel. And for the record, I drugged myself. Thought it’d be the only way to tolerate whatever he might ask of me. Didn’t think he would get so aggressive. Figured he always left the dirty hands to his goons, but…” He rubbed his bruised neck again. Tears burned in his eyes. “He knows. About me and Caleb. H-He might have sent someone over there already.” His lower lip quivered. “I hate this. Why did I agree to this b-bloody cont-t-tract in the first place?”

Jester patted Molly’s hand. “Do you want me to go over and check on him?”

Molly sniffled. As much as he yearned for assurance that Caleb was okay, he feared what news she might bring him. He nodded. “Tell him that I’d leave the city with him tonight if I could. You’ve been a fantastic understudy, you could be the star in my place. Then Caleb and I could lay low somewhere, until the debts are paid and the Gentleman had found someone else to torment.”

“Wouldn’t that violate your contract?” Yasha asked.

Molly chuckled, then coughed from the ache in his throat. “The contract also says the Gentleman isn’t supposed to interfere with my ability to perform. Nearly choking me to death with a diamond necklace might count. Gustav could spin it that way. He’ll work something out.”

Jester’s eyes lit up and she purred. “So would you do it? Would you and Caleb run away together?”

“If he wants to,” Molly said. It was a bold plan, but Caleb needed to get out of Zadash and Molly would worry himself to death if he wasn’t sure where Caleb was or if he was alright. The best solution was to go with him.

“Then I think you should do it!” Jester said excitedly.

Molly shook his head. “This isn’t a romance novel, Jester. It wouldn’t work like that.”

“Why not? We know people who could get you out, I think. My mama definitely has some favors she could call in.”

“I’m not abandoning you.”

Yasha shrugged. “I mean, opening night is next week. Gustav could at least to see how much we’ll make and negotiate from there. You’re right, Jester can take your place. You and Caleb should get to safety before…” She turned her eyes away. Molly wondered if she was thinking of Zualla. He wouldn’t let that happen to Caleb. Not ever.

“…Okay.” Molly’s heart was heavy with the decision, but it had to be done. “Jester, go tell Caleb to pack his things. As soon as I can get away, I’ll come fetch him and we’ll hop the first train out.”

Jester’s eyes lit up. She squared her shoulders and nodded. “I don’t know if the Leaky Tap lets people in this late, but I can try.”

Molly frowned. “What time is it?”

“Nearly three in the morning,” Yasha said. “You were out for a long time.”

This might not be able to wait until morning. Then again, if it was suspicious for Jester to arrive at the Leaky Tap at this hour, surely the Gentleman wouldn’t send someone to murder Caleb in his bed. Molly’s heart twisted in pain at the thought. He swallowed. “Go as early as you can. I think they open at six for breakfast.” Three hours. It wasn’t such a long time, but it was going to be difficult nonetheless. Molly tried to banish all thoughts of Caleb being hurt from his mind, as though imagining it would make it come true. He had to get some sleep. It was the only way to make time go faster.

Yasha and Jester stayed with him that night. He hoped the Mighty Nein were doing the same for Caleb. Sleep shouldn’t have come easy, but Molly was still exhausted. From what, he wasn’t sure. Fear, perhaps, or the combination of adrenaline and the numbing drugs. His dreams weren’t exactly pleasant. He slept nonetheless. When he awoke it was only Yasha in the bed with him.

Over at the Leaky Tap, Caleb rose from his bed, bladder full of tea from the night before. He put on the lovely slippers Molly had given him for his not-birthday and shuffled down the chilly hallway. He had every intention of going back to sleep after he relieved himself. However, to his surprise, Jester was knocking on his door when he returned. Rather than her usually bubbly knock, this had a sense of urgency.

“…Jester?”

“Caleb!” Jester whirled to face him, then ran forward to grab his hand and drag him into his room.

“Jester, what is going on?” Caleb asked, somewhat bleary. His heartbeat quickened, which cleared his head a little, but it was still so early. A sick sensation shuddered through his chest. “Is it Molly? Did something happen?”

Jester paced in front of Caleb’s bed, tail swishing around her legs. “Okay so last night Molly was with the Gentleman and he lit the signal light that means someone needs to come interrupt what’s going on in the Dragon and when Yasha got there he was unconscious on the bed so she punched the Gentleman in the face and she and Blude and Bo got Molly out of there and he’s okay now but we were all really worried and Molly’s scared for the both of you so he wants the two of you to run away together on the first train you can catch!”

Caleb eased himself into his desk chair. That was a lot to take in, especially the part about Molly being unconscious in the hands of the Gentleman. Then he processed the last thing Jester said. “H-He wants to run away? _Today?_ ”

Jester nodded. “I _know!_ It’s so _romantic!_ ”

“No, Jester, I mean Molly wouldn’t— W-We’ve talked about this, he and I. He cannot leave because it would break his contract and bankrupt the Cabaret.”

“Weeell…” Jester’s tail curled close to her. “Molly might um… He says what the Gentleman did to him might be considered breaking _his_ side of the contract instead, which means we would keep the money.” She waved her hands in front of her. “He’s fine though! Really! A little beat up, but he’s okay! The doctor looked him over and everything!” She huffed. “Gustav could argue that the Gentleman broke the contract and even if the Gentleman disagrees, we’re so close to opening night that maaaybe he’d be willing to see how much money the show makes so we can pay back _some_ of the debt. Enough to keep what we need to do the show for a few months.”

Caleb was wide awake now. “Can I see Molly?” he asked, one hand on the back of the chair, ready to spring into action. “Is it safe to come over?”

Jester bit her lip. “Probably not, actually. Molly says he’ll pack what he needs and come here to get you when he can.”

“…Alright.” Caleb took a few deep breaths. “Alright. I’ll be here.” The scars on his arm prickled with anxiety. He resisted the urge to scratch. “Tell him I love him, _ja?_ And that I’ll be ready whenever he is?”

Jester nodded. Normally she would have as much jewelry as Molly on her horns that jingled softly when she nodded this fervently, but it seemed that she had come here before getting fully dressed. “I’m going to miss you both, but send us postcards, please!”

Caleb smiled. “We will. I-I don’t know where we will go, but if they sell postcards there then we will definitely send you some.”

Before she left, Jester gave Caleb a big hug. He patted her on the back. He was going to miss her too, but if the situation was dire enough that Molly needed to get out of Zadash then there was no time to waste. He grabbed his suitcase and immediately began to pack.

Molly was struggling with decisions in his own packing efforts. It would be best if he only took a simply knapsack with him, but that wasn’t enough to run away with, not in the winter. He could perhaps fit two warm outfits in the knapsack he owned. Then there were all the trinkets and gifts clients had given him over the years. If he sold a handful of them he could probably afford to buy new clothes wherever he and Caleb ended up. And of course he needed to bring his Tarot cards with him. He could earn a bit of coin telling fortunes in taverns.

Marion had come by to see him after Yasha went out to stand guard in case the Gentleman sent anyone. Jester had told her, of course, though she knew not to let the story spread too far in case the Gentleman was tipped off somehow. She offered him advice while he packed. “Bring something you don’t mind getting dirty for the road and something presentable for when you get there,” she said. “That was all I brought with me from Nicodranas and it worked out fine.” She also had a keen eye for appraising Molly’s various bits of jewelry, having needed to sell some of her clients’ gifts before during the many years she had been in this business.

Right as Molly was gaining confidence, his bedroom door opened. He had left it unlocked for Marion, or if Yasha or Jester came by to help as well. However, it was Gustav who entered. He didn’t look surprised. He looked tired. “Mollymauk, what are you doing.” It was barely even a question. It reminded Molly of when he and Jester used to get caught setting up a prank and Gustav had neither the time nor the energy to scold them.

“I’m leaving, Gustav,” Molly said. “I love the Cabaret, but I’ve given too much. I can’t stay here. Caleb and I are _leaving._ ”

“Molly, the Gentleman—”

“ _No,_ ” Molly interrupted. He glared at Gustav, lashing his tail. “I know the Gentleman is furious.” He gestured to his throat. “I witnessed his ire firsthand. And that’s why I have to go.”

Gustav sighed, drooping his shoulders even further. “Where could you go that the Myriad couldn’t find you?”

“I… I don’t know, but even if we have to join a traveling circus, it’d be better than staying here and waiting for Caleb’s body to sh-show up in an alley somewhere.” Molly sniffled. “Jester is going to take my place as the star. I’ve already told her.”

Gustav wrung his hands. He looked to Marion. “Have you tried talking sense into the boy?”

Marion crossed her arms. “They’re in love, Gustav. They are in love and they are afraid. Molly is in as much danger as Caleb, so unless you want a star with bruises and broken bones from an abusive patron, you have to let them go.”

Molly grinned. Marion would stand up for him. She could convince Desmond, if Desmond had any doubts at all. This was going to work. “I’ve carried this place on my back for _four years_ ,” he said. “I’ve given my heart and soul to the stage and my body to client after client, all in the name of earning money for you and for everyone here. I’m _done_. Caleb and I are taking the next train that’ll take us far away from all this. So good _bye_ , Gustav.”

Gustav didn’t get angry. He didn’t argue. Molly knew he would feel guilty in this moment, but he hadn’t expected the expression of apologetic sorrow on Gustav’s face. His heart dropped before Gustav even spoke.

“You’re dying, Molly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary for those who chose to skip due to triggers: Molly took some opiates then went to meet with the Gentleman, hoping he could win his favor enough to keep everyone safe. The Gentleman already knew about Caleb and gave Molly a chance to confess. Molly wasn't entirely honest, so the Gentleman assaulted him. The opiates Molly had taken made it too hard for him to fight back and he eventually passed out. Meanwhile, Caleb stayed up late until he saw someone light a candle on the Dragon's head, indicating that Molly was okay. Yasha was the one that lit the candle at Molly's semi-conscious request. Molly came back to full consciousness a few hours later in bed after being examined by a doctor. Yasha and Jester convinced him to run away with Caleb, so Jester went and told Caleb to pack so the two of them could leave as soon as possible. However, while Molly was packing, Gustav came into his room, tried to dissuade him from leaving, and when that didn't work he informed Molly that he is dying.
> 
> It... It doesn't get better from here, I am sorry...


End file.
